Then May 12^th happened.

I was finishing off my rounds with other patients before I went to Dara’s room. I heard shouting inside and glass breaking. I tried to open her door but it was locked. I fished for her extra key in my pocket and opened it and saw Dara standing a few feet away from a man I’ve never met before.

Dara was standing by the glass wall which was broken with the chair hurled into it. Across from her was a man who without introduction I know would be named Jaejoong. He had a crazed look in his eyes not unlike my many psychotic patients. But I knew what it was, desperation.

He was shouting at Dara. “I love you Dara! I don’t want to get married!” 

I tried to move closer to Dara until we formed a triangle. It was only when I was this near that I saw Jaejoong holding a knife.

He then turned to me abruptly. “Is it because of him?” he said pointing the knife at me from a distance.

“Leave him alone, Jae. You already know why.” Dara replied.

“I don’t care if we’re cousins! You loved me too before right?” he asked desperately.

“I did.” she admitted guiltily.

“But you knew I wanted more right? Even now, I love you still. Please don’t make me marry that girl.” He begged.

“You know exactly why I can’t do that, Jae. There could never be more between us. What happened between us was a mistake. Something I have tried over and over to forget.” 

“Why because you’re in love with him?” Jae sneered at my direction still holding the knife.

“No. I just want to move on and live normally again. You don’t know how much I’ve been through. Dr. Kwon is just here to help me.” she said glancing at me before looking down at the floor.

“You’re lying. I know you’re lying. I’d kill him if you lie to me” Jae said slowly inching my way.

I picked up a chair and put it in front of me to fend him off. I was beginning to feel powerless and unprepared in a situation like this. I was praying that the noise would attract the security to come.

“I love you both in different ways and I don’t want either of you to fight or die because of me. I’m just not worth it. I’ll never be worth it.” She said dejectedly.

“No you’re not. You’re worth more” I said catching Dara’s eyes.

“I love you” I admitted. I saw a brief spark in Dara’s eyes before they turned sad again. I did not want to confess this way, but I might as well. There’s no telling what could happen and I might not get a chance again.

“Oho! So you love my Dara too. Is that right?” Jaejoong said, making me look back at him smirking evilly.

“Well, nobody loves my Dara but me!” he said and lunged after me.

The knife blade caught in the chair and we struggled for a bit. Until he kicked me and I fell. I got up right away and tackled him. He was definitely bigger than me but I didn’t want to go without a fight.

We were rolling on the floor, hitting each other but he proved to be stronger than me. He was able to wrestle me and pin me on the ground packing in the punches. I could feel every hit landing solidly on my jaw, cheek, brow and nose. It hurt everywhere, I could hardly see and I could taste blood. I could hear Dara crying and screaming in the background for Jaejoong to stop.

Dara screamed “Stooop!!!” and pushed him off me.

“No more please. No more” she sobbed, her shoulders shaking.

“Then choose me Dara” Jaejoong pleaded.

“I can’t. I would only hurt one of you and I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to have regrets.” She said through her tears.

I remained lying on the floor, tired and in extreme pain. All I want was to close my eyes but I tried to listen to what Dara was saying.

“If only my life could have turned out differently; if I could find something worth my life; if I knew how to love more.” She continued her voice less shaky.

I wondered where Dara was going with this, using Ifs like we did before. I stared at her with my swollen half-closed eyes.

“When I was sick, I learned one thing to be true. I love you sun.” she said casting me a tender look before aptly standing up and dashing to the broken glass wall.

Like a wingless bird, she flew into the light.