YongGuk looks to his left seeing Zico’s phone which is ringing. “Zico your phone?” He looks after Zico but the boy is too busy searching for the phone to hear anything.

YongGuk sighs and picks it up “Zico’s phone” he mumbles

“Guk?”

He freezes hearing Alex’s voice. He swallows and looks about trying to figure out what to do.

“Please don’t hang up!”

He closes his eyes *Stop beating so damn fast my bloody heart*

“I won’t” he mumbles

“I can hear Seungho cursing Zico far far away. He is really pissed at him for hanging up” Alex mumbles back “I thought it would be a long shot calling him but you don’t pick up and I... I wanted to talk to you. Guk are you okay?”

He feels a tear run down his cheek “I’m so sorry”

“Don’t apologize please”

“I didn’t mean any of the things I said Alex” YongGuk runs his hand into his hair as tears silently moves down his cheeks

There is a silence in the other end

“Where are you?” she asks softly

“A school” YongGuk sighs “Are you very mad at me?”

“No!” she said louder “I’m not at all. You… are right. I just keep getting nightmares about them coming back for you because I didn’t stop them. I can’t accept that. It’s really killing me to think that they got away with it”

Tears start moving down his cheek more rapidly and he forces his eyes shot trying to stop them from coming. He takes a deep breath “Alex…” His voice cracks.

“I’m sorry Gukke, I shouldn’t have told you that. Please forget it. I’ll deal with it”

YongGuk cries a bit harder. Zico has returned and is now looking even more freaked out. He has never seen YongGuk cry like this *What happened to my rock? *

“I’ll stop looking I promise, just let me know where you are so someone can come get you”

YongGuk swallows and hands the phone to Zico. He opens his mouth to say something but a lump in his throat prevents him and he just nods. Zico frowns moving the phone to his ear “Hello?” He says timidly hoping to god it isn’t Seungho.

“Zico what happened to Guk?”

He hears Alex voice and understands why YongGuk can’t talk

“You okay?” he asks

“Stop bloody asking me that! Just tell me where he is so someone can come pick him up?” she is sounding frustrated as hell.

“You won’t come?” Zico looks down at YongGuk

“No I won’t be going anywhere. Seungho is really pissed and he told me not to go anywhere. I’m not going anywhere. I’m gonna start listening to people more now. I promise”

Zico frowns “Probably smart”

YongGuk pulls the leg of Zico’s pants “Not MBLAQ”

Zico nods “Okay I’m gonna tell you but he doesn’t want MBLAQ to come”

In the other end Alex nods even though Zico can’t see. She is sitting on her bed “Sure”. She looks at the door while Zico tells her where they are. *For sake Guk you shouldn’t have run off*

She wipes away a quick tear with her sleeve looking at the wet spot it leaves. She doesn’t even notice Zico calling in the other end. She is boggled by that tear *I don’t cry* She cried last night over Kei. She accepted that. She loved Kei and he messed up everything. She trusted him too much, that was a mistake. But she did love him. You can shed tears for love.

She looks at the wet spot on her sleeve “Too many things have happened…”

“Alex!”

“Huh?” Alex snaps out of her thoughts

“When will someone be here?”

“Soon… Zico…”

“Yea?”

“Stay with him”

“I will”

She hangs up and moves of her bed but just before she can reach the door DaeHyun storms in and closes it behind him.

“What now?” Alex frowns

“Uhm I looked the wrong way at Seungho” DaeHyun tries to laugh but it fail miserably “Seungho is ing crazy”

“I talked with YongGuk” Alex says shortly

“You what?” DaeHyun steps towards her.

“I know where he is”

“You do?” DaeHyun lights up in a smile and takes her hand “Is he okay?”

“I-I don’t know” She looks upset.

DaeHyun looks at her face “How do you see YongGuk?”

She frowns “What?”

“A kid? A man?” DaeHyun examines her eyes

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You called him a kid earlier. Is that how you see him?” DaeHyun presses on.

Alex steps back and sits on her bed “Sometimes” She crosses her arms “Both” she looks at DaeHyun “He is a man I know but he still has the uncertainty of a kid. What does that have to do anything?”

“What defines a man to you?” DaeHyun throws the questions at, her not answering hers.

“Why are you aski…”

“Tell me!” DaeHyun steps closer.

Alex stares at him utterly confused. She has never seen him like that “I-I don’t know”

“Why did you fall for Kei?” DaeHyun tries a different approach.

Alex feels her headache acting up “I…”

“Please tell me” DaeHyun pleads.

Alex shakes her head in confusion “H-he took charge. I felt safe. H-he was my man. I-I felt like I didn’t have to be strong all the time” Her eyes starts to water. DaeHyun looks at her completely baffled by her reaction. He hugs her not knowing what else to do.

She pushes him back clears and takes a deep breath wiping the tears from her eyes regaining a gathered composure. She looks at the time “You should go find him” she jolts down the address on a piece of paper and hands it to him.

DaeHyun smiles and gives her a kiss on the cheek before walking to the door. He stops before opening it “What do you want Alex? If you could have anything?”

“Peace” She says and closes her eyes.

DaeHyun nods and walks out yelling “WE KNOW WHERE HE IS!”

Once B.A.P. has left Seungho enters Alex’s bedroom “You talked with him?”

She nods and watches him come over and take a seat next to her. She leans against his arm “Sorry for ruining today. If I hadn’t been such a monster this wouldn’t have happened” She mumbles. He sighs and looks at her “I’m sorry I pushed him to talk to you about it. I didn’t know this would happen” He kisses her hair.

“Am I really not human?” She looks at him. Seungho her cheek “You are human Alex. You just have a kind of twisted way of thinking about some things”

She pouts and looks at the floor “You think he meant what he said?”

“What did he say when you talked to him?” Seungho places his hand over hers

“That he didn’t mean it. That he was sorry” She mumbles and rubs her temple with one hand *Leave me alone bloody ghost*

“You don’t believe him?” Seungho turns his face and looks at her. She closes her eyes and sighs “He sounded like he meant it but he sounded like he meant it when he said I wasn’t human too”

Seungho thinks it over for a second “I think he worries and he only said those things on the roof because he was frustrated you wouldn’t listen”

“How can you know?” Alex frowns. Seungho sigh “I don’t” he kisses her hair and moves an arm around her *Because I can’t count the number of times I have been close to saying the same damn thing*

 “Seungho we need to get home. We got schedule tomorrow” ByungHee comes in and says. He looks to Alex “You can come”

She shakes her head “I’m staying with BangHim” Seungho gets up and walks out. He stops in the door “Will you continue to look for those guys?” He asks without turning to see her.

“No” She sighs “I’ll let it go”

Seungho nods “Good” He leaves with the others.

“You think she is telling the truth” Sang Hyun looks at Seungho who nods “I think YongGuk’s outburst was the best thing that could happen”

“I’m not sure YongGuk agrees” Sang Hyun frowns

Seungho digs his hands in his pockets “He might in the long run. He don’t want her getting hurt either”

“He was harsh” Sang Hyun looks down

Seungho nods “Extremely” he looks at Sang Hyun “But she listened and she promised to back down”

Sang Hyun nods “Let’s just hope those guys never shows up again”

Understanding Alex's person a little better? I kind of feel a need to stress the sentence "I didn't feel like I had to be strong all the time" It is kind of key to her whole being. That she feels like she has to be and not that she wants to be. The old Alex didn't care about being strong or not. She just didn't care. I was told it was kind of hard to see the difference between the two. They offcourse are quite similar but I probably should have spend more time showing the diference. In general the old to me seemed more like an old person in a young body where the new Alex is more childlike at some times. Like to mention the thing with Soohyun... She kind of and made fun of him. if it had been the old she would probably have gone for his and not his stomach and she would probably humiliate him completely and not just fool around.

I tried putting it in her eyes like the old Alex's eyes are always calm but cold and the new are calm and warm (did I mention that in any chapter or did I leave it in my head?)

One other reason I felt the need to write this little explanation is Markminki who asked about if he loved the old and not the new (or something like that). Well to answer.He loves both a lot but I think the love changed. With the old he was the one leaning on her and not her leaning on him as it is with the new. Makes sense? To Seungho it's like the old one, who he fell in love with, is kind of looking down on him seeing him as a toy and the new one, who he wanna protect, is looking up at him seeing him as a big brother. I would say that is two very different people :P They still do a lot of the same things and react in the same way but they don't have the same mindset. The new Alex is actually pretty insecure but she covers it up by being overly fearless. I'm not saying it is a choise she knows she has made.

Wow long explanation. Did this help anyone understand the difference between the two?