At first I was kind of smug about the satisfaction I felt when I kicked the poor guy, possibly leading to infertility or something. In my opinion, it was really funny even if it was by reflex at first. If there was a thing that could come to mind at this moment that I knew I didn’t like, it’d be surprises- especially ones that forced me to accept that the guy I was supposed to marry was a tall boy with a really cute face and a deep y voice.

Scratch that. I really need to work on getting my priorities straight. What I meant to say was a freakin’ giraffe, with creepy big eyes and this huge smile, and a deep voice that makes him sound like a smoker.

Anyway, the three of us stood there-picture perfect- for a few moments before Santa Claus went all flippity because he realized that such a proper lady as I (Yes, that’s a joke) had kicked his master in the no-no area twice. Two times. I should get an award for that.

“Oh no. The masters are not going to like this. Are you alright master Chanyeol? Are you alright?” Santa spazzed momentarily, flying like an annoying bug from here to there, checking his temperature and stuff. Dude, he got kicked. He’s not going to die, he just may never have children. Either way it’s a win-win situation for me, so I don’t care. Or at least I didn’t care until I realized that I was in deep doo-doo.

The masters are not going to like this

And by masters, he doesn’t just mean Mr. and Mrs. Park. Those guys are in cahoots with my parents, meaning…

“Oh gosh.” I breathed, placing a hand over my mouth in shock. I fell down to the ground beside the kid, and shook him repeatedly. “Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.” If I didn’t know any better, it’d look like I killed the guy. If he’s acting, then he deserves an Oscar for this. An Oscar, and another kick. Or better yet, I’ll mentally feed him to mountain lions instead. Somehow the thought of lions eating a cute face- creepy face- wasn’t as appealing as them eating my brother.

“Hey, Santa.” I lifted my head up to look Mr. Crinkles in the eye. I half expected to see that magical glitter everyone says old people have in their eyes, but he just kinda looked dull, “There’s only one thing we can do about this.”

“What would that be, miss?”

“You take the arms, I’ll take the legs.”

“You don’t mean-“

“Oh yes, buddy. I mean what I mean.”

Okay, so dumping his body somewhere in a closet might not have been the most civilized idea. Was it the most practical? Maybe not. Was it something society would agree with? I don’t think so. Could it have landed me in jail? Probably. But it seemed appropriate at the time, and the truth about this all would get Mr. Crinkles and I both in trouble. Mr. Crinkles for not protecting him, and me for- Well, you know what I did or didn’t do. That isn’t exactly the point.

Surprisingly enough, Santa agreed to my plans, and it was at that moment that I decided that this could work out. And no, I didn’t mean the arranged marriage. I meant having an actual bond with an elder and not secretly laughing at them hysterically behind their backs. What can I say? It’s a very nice hobby of mine.

So, I picked up his feet and Santa got his arms, and we heaved the heavy object into a nearby closest. Since we were both quite intelligent people, we decided it was best to gag him and tie him to a chair with rope. It was more than logical because 1) If he wakes up he’ll definitely panic and 2) Santa has informed me that he’s very naïve; therefore, tying this Chanyeol guy up won’t get Santa in much trouble at all. Oh the joy of working for an idiot.

After the deed was done, we put on our show faces as if nothing had ever happened. Santa Claus rolled my luggage up the stairs to the room I was supposed to situate myself in, and I sat in a chair, frozen in place, waiting. It wasn’t long until the heart of the party came. Enter Mr. Stone-face-part-2 and that annoying lady into Scene 5.

“Oh my! Look who we have here! Kimi, my dear, is that you? It’s been so long since we’ve last met. You used to be so small then, but now you’re so big. And you’ve grown very pretty too. Do you remember me?”

Oh yes, I remember you. I remember you so well that my inwards cringe at just the sight of you.

“I see you’ve had a safe trip here. I hope you’ve found everything just lovely.” And the machine lady finally stopped to do a human-like thing, and take a breath. I thought it’d never end. Thank you so much, Mrs. Park, for giving me a chance to say something because I really appreciate being bombarded with fast annoying talking as soon as I get my first glimpse of humanity. No wait. My first glimpse was a boy who is currently tied up in a closet and an old man who is M.I.A.

The thought of grabbing a roll of duck tape, and taping many layers over her annoying forever-flying-at-the-speed-of-light mouth crossed my mind, but then I remembered a very important thing: My parents would not like that at all. If I wanted to stay alive in this world, I had to be on my best behavior in front of these two, and discreetly find a way out of this whole situation. So, I faltered, and slumped back in my seat, pulling on an angel smile.

“Yes, Mrs. Park. The flight was wonderful. It’s nice to see you too.” I nodded my head and spoke in a sickeningly sweet tone. I even made myself gag on the inside. Gross.

“See? She remembers me!” Mrs. Park squealed to her husband in a giddy fit. This lady must be drunk 24/7 because I honestly don’t see how a human can be this peppy all the time without running out of energy and flopping over dead.

Mr. Stone-face-part-2 just grumbled, annoyed.

“Don’t get too excited. My daughter in law will surely like me better.” Woah. Did Mr. Stone-face-part-2 really just say that? So he’s not an emotionless bastard like my father? Then this guy might be in need of a new nickname.

“Nevermind her, Kimi. Welcome to the family. I’m your new father in law. Now, I don’t know if you remember me, but-“ He paused, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. His face was turning a bit red, like a clear can filling up with ketchup. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the smart and witty part of me told myself that this old coot was expecting me to remember him. Luckily, I remembered every detail from hell’s day.

“Of course I remember you. It’s very nice to see you again too, father.” And his face lit up like a night-light. Weirdo. He must have a with little girls. Just the thought of that made me feel sick to my stomach. I guess it’s best to steer clear of the old guy with a daughter complex.

“F-father? Oh. Well then.”

“Come on! I can’t wait any longer. Let’s get the papers signed, honey!” Mrs. Annoying squeaked as she smacked her husband on the arm. I sat in confusion, swimming in my own stupidity for a while before I caught on to what they were talking about. Papers. Papers meant legal documents. Meaning, signing myself over to that thing in the closet. Hell no. I refuse to ever ever ever sign anything of that sort.

Well, my refusal apparently wasn’t strong enough because as soon as the papers were in front of me, I thought of my parents and all the possible crap I’d have to take from them, so then, with a shaky hand, I etched my name into the paper, right across the page. I was halfway through my writing, when a tiny voice in my head broke me from this trance.

It wasn’t like a normal voice in the back of your head telling you to stop doing something that was bad for you. It was more like a noise in the back of my head. A loud banging noise. And then a muffled voice too. It was pretty close, and got louder and louder. And then there were footsteps and sounds of chairs being pushed aside. And the sound of a door opening.

A door opening.

Oh crap.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: At first I told myself that I wouldn't write. Then I realized that writing this is like cigarettes to a smoker. It's hard to stay away. So I just HAD to write another little bit, despite the fact that this chapter is kind of boring. Well, I suppose if you think locking people up in closests is boring. There's just not much dialogue here, so you probably get what I mean. Concerning this...there's not much else I can say. It was a boring chapter, but I just had to write something, and I didn't know how else to transition from last scene to the next. I found this method to work the most smoothly, so I settled for it. Besides, there's a cliffhanger. Cliffhangers make everything better. Right? Right? Yeah...I guess not. Anyway, now for the comments:

kayyEa - As you can see, I haven't stopped XD I guess my addiction and your comment were main influences of me writing this chapter. Your comment was too sweet to ignore. So, I don't totally fail at comedy? It's a win for me :) Yay! Thank you so much for commenting. I'm so glad that you like the story.

b2stlyoseob125 - Hahaha XD As you can see, I have updated. I hope you enjoyed it :) Thank you for commenting.

HystericallyCursed - Korean Music Festival? Wow. That sounds amazing :) You'll have to tell me about it later. It's fine, at least I got to see your comments now :) That's all that matters. It's the thought that counts. I'm glad you like her. She's one of my favorite characters. Oh yes, testing is very evil, but it's been going alright, so I decided to update today anyway :) I hope you liked it. Thank you for commenting.