“I know about Taeyeon and Junsu.”

It was if the world just stopped. Right then and there my blood ran cold and my hands started shaking. I clenched my fists to stop the tremble, reminding myself that her finding out wasn’t like someone died. I didn’t need to feel this way—I didn’t need to feel scared.

Eyes boring into mine, she was looking for answers. All I could read from her’s were questions, but only one stood out from the rest…

Why?

I broke eye contact and looked around the room, anything, all except the eyes that were full of hurt. 

Her pain was too suffocating. Maybe because she had the ability to pass her emotions to others without doing anything. Everyone would know, because everyone of her friends couldn’t stand to see their broken angel. It somehow pushed the buttons of their guilt, as if her negative emotions were torturing us.

“I would've been fine," she whispered, turning my attention towards her again. "I'm not mad at you, Jaejoong. But I am disappointed."

I gulped, the guilt climbing to me slowly.

"R-RiIn I--"

"You didn't say anything because you were worried, right? I know oppa, I know. But did you mean to keep it from me forever?"

"Of course not!" I immediately defended. "Never...I-I was just finding the right time to tell you."

"Six months?" She smiled bitterly, causing me to tremble. 

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to reply to her question. What was I supposed to tell her? That I was scared knowing it will hurt her more? 

How could I tell her that in less than a month after their break up, he was able to move on already while up to now, she's still recovering even though she denies it? How? 

"I'm tired. Let's go," she murmured and made her way towards the exit, the heavy and bitter silence engulfing the both of us.

“Jaejoong?”

We stared at the oldest as he robotically walked from the entrance to his room in silence. Yunho called again, but he didn’t respond, as if he was temporarily deaf. It was rare seeing this side of him, simply because he threw all his emotions and problems away before the other members could see. The first and supposedly last time we saw a lifelessly walking Jaejoong was when we first debuted in Japan.

“What in the world turned him into that again?” Changmin pointed with his spoon. 

“I think I have an idea what—or should say, who, that made him like that,” Yunho shook his head hopelessly. “I’ll talk to him.”

Junsu, Changmin and I stared at one another, confused as to who Yunho was referring to. As we waited for the leader to approach the living room, both Changmin and me continued to watch TV while Junsu…

I leaned back on the couch to get a view of the hall to our rooms and saw him standing in front of Jaejoong’s room, staring at nothing. What the hell is he doing? If it was one thing that Jaejoong didn’t like it’s eves-dropping into his conversational matters.

“Junsu, come over here,” I called, loud enough for only him to hear. He glanced at me for a few seconds and gazed back at the door before hesitantly walking back to where I was.

“If they come out from that door and you standing there,  a raging mommy is going to be really loud and annoying. You should know that,” I joked.

“I know that but…” he paused. Changmin’s attention stayed focused at the television, but his ear twitching meant he was closely listening. 

“But…?” I urged, half listening to him and half listening to the action drama we came across.

“Yoochun, he didn’t even come back to the meeting. We waited for an hour but both of them didn’t come back, and now it’s late and he suddenly just enters the apartment like a zombie as if there wasn’t an important event to attend to in the first place,” he babbled.

I raised a brow as I drew my attention to the tired and irritated man before me.

“I don’t know if you’re worried for Jaejoong hyung or for RiIn, but Junsu, you’re seriously stressing for nothing,” I stated, recieving a look of disbelief in return.

“Okay, so they didn’t come back. Hyung is a zombie, RiIn is probably resting at her dorm. And here you are, freaking out and thinking exaggeratedly of the situation. Hyung hasn’t said anything yet, and I’m sure Yunho will explain for him. You just have to wait, Junsu. You’re being too protective.”

Before he could have retort, Changmin chimed in.

“Hyung, you’re not concerned with them individually, you’re concerned with both of them being together,” he sighed, flipping through the channels. “Coming from a person much more experienced with relationships than you, you’re obviously acting jea—”

He was cut off by the slamming of the door from Jaejoong’s room. The eldest marched towards the living room, for some reason glaring at me and only me. I gulped as I sunk back into the couch when he towered over me with a dead serious face.

“Oy, Jaejoong, I’m not done talking to you!” Yunho follows.

“You told her, didn’t you?!” He asked—a little too loudly.

The three members turned their attention to the the both of us. Confused at his question, I stared at him, clueless. Just when I was about to ask what he was talking about, I stopped short, realizing what he meant.

“H-Hyung, she didn’t know anything.”

Jaejoong looked at the me in front of him in disbelief, “That was the point!”

“But why?” I continued to ask calmly. “She deserved to know.”

“No no no! Did you even consider her feelings when she found out—” He stopped midway as both felt three pairs of eyes staring at them, ears open. “Unbelievable.”

“Jae, what’s going on?” Yunho asked, approaching the oldest.

“Nothing,” Jaejoong sighed frustratedly and exited the apartment again, leaving the three dumbfounded.

"Ara~" I whined, burying my face into the pillow. I looked back up to see if she was paying attention to me. "Did...Did you know too?"

"Huh? Know what?" She asked, half listening to to my complaints.

I sat upright and hugged the pillow towards my chest, playing with the loose threads.

"About...Taeyeon and Junsu," I mumbled against the pillow, quietly sneaking a glance at her tensed body. She turned to me with wide eyes before scratching her non-itchy head shamefully, realizing that I knew.

"Y-Yeah...but don't get me wrong, Rinnie. I knew, but I never believed it. I mean I didn't want to tell you unless I saw it with my own eyes, but I never did so I thought they were just faultless rumors. Heck, I would never believe it at all because Junsu wouldn't move on so easily--"

"But he did," I said quietly, causing her to stop. I bit my lip back and smiled, reassuring her that everything would be okay. "I have to step up my game. I need to be where he's at too. Ara," I paused.

She looks at me curiously before nodding her head for me to continue.

"I need a boyfriend."

"What? RiIn! Do you know what you're saying?" She scrambles towards my bed. "Are you a masochist?"

"A what?"

"Do you like getting hurt that much? You know there is a guarantee that some guy will hurt you again. Oh god. Rinnie, being single isn't bad. You don't need to be at Junsu's level. If has a girlfriend, then fine. Who cares? And didn't you tell me you were over him? Were you lying to me?" She gasps.

"I did! I did...I was fine. But ever since I was assigned as his singing partner I've been too scared to get near him and Jaejoong...Jaejoong..."

"Jaejoong? What's this have to do with him?"

"He didn't tell me that Junsu was with Taeyeon," I buried half face into the pillow. "He wasn't even planning on telling me at all...I saw it in his eyes."

"You two really like to communicate with eyes, do you? Anyway, forgive and forget! You know how Jaejoong acts when you're not on good terms with him, don't be too disappointed."

"I'm not. And I do know, but it won't matter because BoA unnie's there. He'll run to her instead of drowning himself with alcohol," I sighed, falling against my bed.

"I'm sure he'll explain tomorrow," she comforted. "Now sleep, your fever isn't getting any lower with you still blabbering!"

- ring ring ring -

"Hello?"

"...RiIn?"

I opened my eyes when I recognized the voice on the other line. I glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table. 2:30am. 

"I...I wanted to check if you were okay. You didn't come back to the meeting, so...you're fine, right?"

I listened to him ramble worriedly at the other end as I looked at the ceiling through the dark. 

"Why are you still awake?" I asked softly, eyes beginning to shut slowly. 

He became silent.

"I couldn't sleep. Not without knowing you were okay," he replied gently. 

"I'm fine now. Thank you for your concern," I paused as the sleepiness was starting to hit me again. "Sleep well, oppa."

"RiIn--" He stopped, and suddenly stayed quiet. The silence only made my eyes more heavy. As I was about to drift away, he replied again, "will you...will you sing for me?"

Half awake, and with my mind half running, I agreed to his request as I started singing softly to the first lyric of 'Timeless.'