One More Time

Dear Diary, I am Fat.

 “Again!”

 

“Once more.”

 

“One more time!”

 

Those words left Hoya’s mouth like commands, again and again. Cho Hee nodded obediently and returned back to the starting position. Droplets of sweat fell and she didn’t even have the time to wipe them away. She felt the muscles in her thighs aching and she did not seem to have any energy left to lift her legs up again. Cho Hee started to feel sick and tired already. Mind over matter, she knew the logic. With that, Cho Hee wanted to try even harder but something inside her mind was telling her something else. It turned out that she was just afraid to put in so much effort to see the outcome remain unchanged.

“What’s the point?” Cho Hee thought.

“I am tired.” She finally said.

“I really am.”

Hoya looked down at her and finally noticed those drenched strands of hair sticking out of place. He finally saw the girl standing before him with tiredness written all over her face. Hoya softened when he realized they had not gone for break for hours already. Pressing his lips together, he rolled his eyes inwardly at his inattentiveness.  

“Let’s take a break before practicing again then.” He suggested with a guilty smile.

Cho Hee looked away almost tiredly before walking to where their belongings were. Before she could bend her already shaking knees, Hoya picked up the bottle of water effortlessly. Her eyes widened at his gesture and she felt something weird churning in her stomach. She was extremely unused to his care and attention so all she could do was nod gratefully. Uncapping the drink, she gulped down the liquid thirstily.

Out of habit, she collected the volume of water in and puffed her cheeks in response. Hoya smiled to himself unknowingly when he witnessed the scene. Cho Hee then randomly scanned the room to see how the other pairs were trying so hard to master and perfect the moves. They were giving one another pointers on how to improve their coordination and crispness of movements. Doing the same steps again and again, just for one thing: The senior dance performance.

Down the years, all members would work hard in dance practices to learn new dance skills and become an even better dancer. The practices prepared them for stages- competition stages, outside dance performances and school stages. However, actually their preparation was just bringing them to the main and final stage- The senior performance. The stage when all matured members of ‘Sparklex’ would stand together, hand in hand, to put up the best performance for the school, for the audience and most importantly, for themselves. It was like a finale to everything. The beautiful scene to finally stand on stage, hold one another’s hands high up in the air and bow down with tears flowing down as memories replayed in everyone’s mind was what they were moving towards at the end of the day.

At that point, realization struck Cho Hee hard, real hard. She bit her lips in embarrassment. There she was holding herself back from trying hard because she was afraid to ruin the performance while others were trying their utmost best. Indeed, she knew what was coming their way. The performance would eventually be ruined, by her. However, she didn’t realize that if she kept up with this, she would really be the culprit to ruin their performance even if the history doesn’t repeat itself.

“Maybe I should at least try my best first.” She thought hopefully.

Dropping the bottle, Cho Hee marched back to Hoya with a different aura surrounding her. Hoya was amused at her sudden change in attitude and a slight smile graced his lips.

“Hwaiting!” She cheered herself on softly.

 Hoya nodded and the pair resumed practice from the beginning again.

The hands of the clock hung on the white wall were ticking away. Pairs left one by one as time passed to return home and rest. However, Hoya and Cho Hee was still in the same corner of the studio practicing.

“1,2,3,4. 2,2,3,4. 3,2,3-”

“Oh, sorry!” Cho Hee apologized for she moved towards the wrong direction.

“It’s okay. Let’s start over again.” Hoya said patiently before moving back to place.

“Hoya!” Myungsoo shouted from the other end of the class.

“We are leaving already! Remember to switch off the lights before leaving the dance studio! I’ll be walking Jiyeon home first.” He said and half-whispered the last part.

Hoya smirked in response and waved him off. Myungsoo and Jiyeon disappeared round the corner. Turning back to Cho Hee who was standing awkwardly after realizing the whole studio was only left with the two of them, Hoya asked, “Are you tired? Want to go home too?”

Cho Hee shook her head nervously with a slight smile.

“A while more.” She assured.  

“A while more.” Hoya repeated and the two resumed dancing.

Immersed in the flowing notes floating in the air, the two was dancing to the steps. However, their minds were elsewhere or to be exact, focused on one another. It was not awkward but neither was it comfortable between them. They were just dancing without soul. The two eyes met and Cho Hee inhaled deeply. The slight distance between their bodies was shortening.  

“Is this part of the dance?” Cho Hee thought in confusion.

Suddenly, Hoya released her. Walking over to the music player, he switched the music off.

“It’s late already. Let’s go home.” He announced.

Cho Hee nodded absent-mindedly as she walked back to her bag lying on the ground. Carrying her back pack behind her, she fiddled with the strap. There was silence between the two as they walked to the gates. No one broke the silence. Then, Cho Hee lifted her head. The moon was shining down on the two brightly.

“It looks the same as that night…” She mumbled to herself.

“Huh?” Hoya looked over when she thought she was talking to him.

“Do you believe in time travelling?” she blurted out randomly to cover up.  

“Hmm…Time traveling is technically impossible. But I think it is possible.” He answered thoughtfully.

Cho Hee scoffed at his answer, “Irony much.”

That made them laugh out loud somehow.

“What’s your life motto?” she asked.  

“To do whatever I want to do.” He answered and paused for a moment.

“What about yours?” he turned his head and asked.

“To be well-liked by everyone.”

 Hoya turned speechless for a moment and Cho Hee laughed awkwardly after realizing what she said.

“Actually, am I annoying you with all my questions?” she asked truthfully.

Hoya smiled and shook his head, “No.”

“The questions you ask are interesting.” He confessed.  

“Can I ask you one last thing?” she said.

“Go ahead.” He agreed.

“Are we friends?” she asked as she looked into his eyes.

Hoya stopped walking as he searched his brain for an answer. He couldn’t comprehend why he took such a long time to answer her.

“I guess so.” He replied with a smile that hurt her, for the second time.

“That’s good.” She forced the words out of .

“Uhm, I’m taking the path of the left. Bye!” Cho Hee said quickly and ran down the left lane.

Hoya frowned at her actions. He wanted to send her home because it was getting late. However, she just deprived him of the chance to do so. Looking up at the round moon, Hoya sighed.

The reason was unknown or perhaps, known.

 

Author's Note:
Sorry everyone for updating only now. I was kinda inactive recently because of my busy school work.
Hehe...I wanted to rest for a bit today and update.
I've already set my mind to update this story for quite some time and I'm super happy to be able to update!! :D
Sincerely hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter. ^^
Please do comment. <3
Really thank you so, so much for reading 'Dear Diary, I am Fat'.

 

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Comments

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TaeChan099716 #1
Chapter 23: This whole story took me on an emotional rollercoaster since I can relate to it. Honestly, it being the outcast. I'm glad that Cho Hee got the happy ending that she deserves and wanted. Life can be so cruel sometimes. This truly deserves an upvote. Thank you for writing this story. Lots of love! :)
inpiniteu_king
#2
Chapter 5: I just wondered if this life-dancing things really fit her in. It amazed me on how she could bear everything to this point. If I were her, I might be turning myself into other things that would fit me in at least. I sort of experienced this kind of things too, feeling useless and sometimes being mocked due to my physical features that obviously limiting myself from doing sports. So I chose not to involve in certain things. I partially understood Cho Hee; she was like a reflection of me nevertheless I was in a better society than her. I remembered I read this before as it was so relatable and very heart-warming. And inspiring too :)
smallpanda
#3
Chapter 24: I can't find any words for what I'm feeling right now. Honestly,I've never expected to read such an amazing well written story and without the typical perfect skinny girl who gets the hot guy. I love the plot and cried because I know this feeling,not to that extend but I know it and it's so painful that I can't describe it at all. I love you for finding the right words without making it sound cheesy or weird. I'm glad that I've read your story,glad that I'm able to say that I enjoyed it a lot.
Kkyungwifeuu12_
#4
Chapter 24: Let me cry for a while //Hiding my face under the blanket// ..Anyway ,This is really an amazing FF Authornim ! .And yeah ,The diary .I cried again ._. ...Its just .Too sad .And ,Happy ending but ,Where is Ary ? //Cry Again// .Dont you think you want to publish this as an official book ? .Great job author ! .I really love this FF //Cry again// ..
wonderexo #5
Chapter 25: I can't express how much I love this story , great job authornim
f5sulli #6
Chapter 24: Author, I just wanna say this was truly a beautiful story.
This is my first time ever saying this but this story deserves to be published as an official book
RizaOneie
#7
Chapter 17: I really love how you put MyungYeon in the story. Like in this chapter, they look so cute.. Myungsoo n Jiyeon 4 eva~
niena98 #8
Chapter 23: It's soo sad~ I love this ending though~ finally she can be happy and others treat her well than her other life. It's kind of sad boz they only look for appearance only. It's not wrong to be fat though. The sorrow feelings is always tugging me while reading this. It's just so unfair. I wish I could be her friend and comfort her. Anyways you do a great job making this story!!~ stay well and good luck!!~^^ Later~ Gonna catch your other stories~
kenjin
#9
Chapter 12: omooo so sadd.. T,T
clminzydarabomlover #10
Chapter 24: Authornim i cried reading this
Yes i was bullied when was in primary school but stuff sorta stop when i went to secondary but yeah it still haunts me everytime i read theese type of stuff or when my friends ignore me but im fine.......