Confused

Dear Diary, I am Fat.

 

Cho Hee closed her eyes tightly and bit her lips in fear. She could feel herself falling through a bottomless tunnel which began to get warmer. She wondered if she was travelling to hell by any chance. Then, she finally reached something that felt like ground to her. Her ears first registered the surrounding which was kind of noisy. Somehow, it felt like a familiar setting though. Confused, she opened her eyes fearfully and ended up being extremely shocked.

“Why am I in school?!” She exclaimed.

She was quite certain that just a moment ago, she ran out onto the road and was hit by a car. Also, less than a minute ago, she was still in some weird white tunnel.

“I must be dreaming…” She told herself as she shut her eyes.

Then, someone bumped into her.

“Ah.” She shouted as she stumbled to the side because one of the girls bumped into her.

“I am sorry.” She apologized and bowed down a little.

“It’s alright.” She said with a nice smile which surprised Cho Hee even further.

 “Cho Hee-ah, aren’t you going to dance practice?” Someone inquired.

Cho Hee looked over and recognised that it was her classmate.

“A-Ah, yea.” She replied hesitantly.

“You should start running along! You’re kind of late.” She reminded before leaving.

“Oh my gosh. What the hell is happening? Why am I in school? Why are they being so friendly towards me? Why am I even having dance practice now?!” Endless questions were running through her mind as she hugged her bag tightly to her bulky form and ran past the crowd.

 Sweating profusely, Cho Hee finally reached the outside of the dance studio. Opening the back door with care, she tried her best not to make much noise. Slowly, she crept into the studio. Everyone was already present and Jiyeon was briefing the members. Then, Jiyeon spotted Cho Hee sneaking into the studio.

“You’re late.” She pointed out.

Cho Hee straightened her back in embarrassment as everyone looked in her direction.

“I’m sorry.” Cho Hee bowed down quickly and said.

She braced herself for Jiyeon’s harsh words just like before but her reply was nothing close to that.

“Never mind.” She said simply.

Cho Hee gasped and stared at Jiyeon with widened eyes.

“Am I hearing things?!” she questioned in her mind.

“At least you bothered to come unlike…some juniors.” Jiyeon said as she eyed some problematic juniors purposefully.

“Let’s not waste precious time. Cho Hee, find a space and settle down quickly.” Jiyeon said before ending her sentence with yet another smile.

Her smile sent shivers down Cho Hee’s spine. It was as if she had changed into an utterly different person. It was shocking and Cho Hee swore she was shocked to death at that moment. However, that was provided that she was not dead yet. With a mixture of emotions still stirring in her, Cho Hee walked to the back of the studio unsteadily and sat down. The people around her shuffled closer, surprisingly.

“Hey. Why are you late?” one of them asked.

“I don’t know.” She answered absent-mindedly.

Truth was she really did not know. She only knew that nothing was making sense at the moment. If this was a dream, she wondered why it was so life-like.

“So today we will learn new steps to the previous dance we were practicing last week. Now, get into your positions.” Jiyeon instructed.

“Ne.” The seniors and juniors chorused before getting up swiftly.

Placing her bag at the side with the others, Cho Hee hurriedly joined the group. Jiyeon started to demonstrate the moves.

“Wait a minute. Didn’t we learn this dance moves before?!” Cho Hee thought to herself.

She scanned the studio and realized that all the members were paying full attention to Jiyeon. It was almost impossible for Jiyeon to forget that she had taught them before since she was known to have absolutely good memory. Cho Hee was trying to comprehend the situation when her eyes fell on someone. It was the certain someone whom trampled all over her heart, Hoya. She felt a little tears being produced in her eyes.

“Cho Hee.” A familiar voice struck her.

Turning to the front, she met eyes with Jiyeon.

“Were you listening?” she asked.

Cho Hee nodded her head without much thought.

“Then can you demonstrate to the rest of Sparklex what I just danced?” she challenged.

Not waiting for Cho Hee to answer, Jiyeon signaled for Myungsoo to play the music player. When the music came on, Cho Hee danced to the beat as she was taught before. They had learnt that dance for more than a week so the steps were deeply etched in her mind. After executing the last step, Cho Hee was already drenched in her own sweat. She looked up and realized she had flabbergasted everyone with her demonstration. Jiyeon smiled and clapped a few times and soon, the studio was filled with applause just for her.

“I don’t understand. Why are they acting as if they had never learnt this before?” she thought to herself, even more confused.

“Wow. How did you catch what I taught so fast?!” Jiyeon exclaimed as she walked over.

Cho Hee laughed a little and scratched the back of her head.

“You did well, anyway.” She complimented before returning to the front of the studio.

At the end of the session, Cho Hee picked up her bag and was still pondering about those unanswered queries. Then, she bumped into someone. Looking up, she realized it was Hoya. She couldn’t help but look right into his eyes. However, Cho Hee noticed something different. Those eyes she was looking into now gave off a gentler feel.

“You can exit first.” Hoya offered as he stepped aside.

“This scene!” She gasped as she covered with her hands.

She couldn’t be wrong.

“Park Cho Hee? Are you okay?” Hoya waved his hands before her.

Without a second thought, Cho Hee ran through the door and straight back home. Her mother opened the door with a welcoming smile.

“Oh darling, you’re home!” She beamed.

“Umma, where is Eunmi?!” Cho Hee questioned.

“What? Eunmi? Silly, why would she be here out of the blue? Hurry and come in for lunch.” her mother laughed and pulled the stunned Cho Hee into the house.

“Umma, I am skipping lunch.” Cho Hee said before running upstairs and locking herself in the room.

She searched for her diary in the shelves, cabinets, drawers and even under the bed but to no avail.

“Could it be…” Cho Hee paused as she ped her school bag.

Cho Hee swallowed her saliva as she pulled out her diary which somehow ended up in her bag. Flipping open the diary, she fell back onto her study chair.

 

Dear Diary

Today I was late for practice because I consulted Professor Lee and Jiyeon scolded me in front of everyone. I felt so ashamed when she refused to listen to my explanation…That’s not it. During the session, I zoned out momentarily and was scolded by her again. Jiyeon was really harsh and I heard some of them laughing at me when she implied that I was the ‘black spot’ of the group again. I felt so hurt. Myung Soo even said that I was not that important in the group and they should just ignore and continue. I cried. I think I'm so useless for not standing up for myself. But what stand do I have to do so? I am indeed the black stain of the almighty ‘sparklex’…
But god was still quite nice to me afterall… Something great happened today after the practice!
Hoya oppa stepped aside and let me leave the studio first when we bumped into each other. Unlike others who would probably scold me, shove me aside before leaving, he allowed me to go ahead. Tell you a secret. I think I felt my heart race at that moment. Diary, don’t you think he is a very nice guy?

With love

Cho Hee

 

Taking out her cellphone, Cho Hee checked today’s date and was shocked for the umpteenth time that day. With trembling hands, Cho Hee took out a pen and flipped to a new page.

 

Dear Diary

I am confused and shocked as to what is going on. I think I have just entered into another world and somehow or rather went back in time. Seriously, I still can’t believe it. Am I dreaming? If I really am, why does this feel so real? The best part is it does hurt when I try to pinch myself.

Also, everyone in this world is so different and I am really unused.

They had become so… nice out of a sudden. Today, the members applauded me because I was able to dance what Jiyeon demonstrated. It was the first time in my life being recognised and applauded at. It felt really good to be noticed for the right reason.

Diary, I wonder. I wonder if the Cho Hee in the real world has died. I wonder where the Cho Hee in this world went to. I wonder if someone is giving me a second chance to life.

Thank you

Cho Hee

 

Cho Hee didn’t know who the ‘thank you’ she wrote was for. However, she wrote it nonetheless. Shutting her eyes momentarily, she rested her head on her diary.

“You’re welcome.” 

 

 

Author's Note:

Hello everyone! I was really happy when I saw all the comments :D! 
I think that was the most comments that I have received at one go so far from writing. (: 

Anyway, I am guessing that most of you are as confused as Cho Hee is right now. 
This is actually a twist to the story that I have planned since the very beginning. 
I hope you guys will understand, maybe in time. (X
Don't forget to comment. 
And sorry to inform you guys that updates will be slowed tremendously because I am starting a part-time job from tomorrow onwards DX.
Thank you for reading ~ 
I am off to reply your comments now <3. 

 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
watermelon
First 10,000 views for a fic. Thank you, readers of 'Dear Diary, I am Fat'.

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
TaeChan099716 #1
Chapter 23: This whole story took me on an emotional rollercoaster since I can relate to it. Honestly, it being the outcast. I'm glad that Cho Hee got the happy ending that she deserves and wanted. Life can be so cruel sometimes. This truly deserves an upvote. Thank you for writing this story. Lots of love! :)
inpiniteu_king
#2
Chapter 5: I just wondered if this life-dancing things really fit her in. It amazed me on how she could bear everything to this point. If I were her, I might be turning myself into other things that would fit me in at least. I sort of experienced this kind of things too, feeling useless and sometimes being mocked due to my physical features that obviously limiting myself from doing sports. So I chose not to involve in certain things. I partially understood Cho Hee; she was like a reflection of me nevertheless I was in a better society than her. I remembered I read this before as it was so relatable and very heart-warming. And inspiring too :)
smallpanda
#3
Chapter 24: I can't find any words for what I'm feeling right now. Honestly,I've never expected to read such an amazing well written story and without the typical perfect skinny girl who gets the hot guy. I love the plot and cried because I know this feeling,not to that extend but I know it and it's so painful that I can't describe it at all. I love you for finding the right words without making it sound cheesy or weird. I'm glad that I've read your story,glad that I'm able to say that I enjoyed it a lot.
Kkyungwifeuu12_
#4
Chapter 24: Let me cry for a while //Hiding my face under the blanket// ..Anyway ,This is really an amazing FF Authornim ! .And yeah ,The diary .I cried again ._. ...Its just .Too sad .And ,Happy ending but ,Where is Ary ? //Cry Again// .Dont you think you want to publish this as an official book ? .Great job author ! .I really love this FF //Cry again// ..
wonderexo #5
Chapter 25: I can't express how much I love this story , great job authornim
f5sulli #6
Chapter 24: Author, I just wanna say this was truly a beautiful story.
This is my first time ever saying this but this story deserves to be published as an official book
RizaOneie
#7
Chapter 17: I really love how you put MyungYeon in the story. Like in this chapter, they look so cute.. Myungsoo n Jiyeon 4 eva~
niena98 #8
Chapter 23: It's soo sad~ I love this ending though~ finally she can be happy and others treat her well than her other life. It's kind of sad boz they only look for appearance only. It's not wrong to be fat though. The sorrow feelings is always tugging me while reading this. It's just so unfair. I wish I could be her friend and comfort her. Anyways you do a great job making this story!!~ stay well and good luck!!~^^ Later~ Gonna catch your other stories~
kenjin
#9
Chapter 12: omooo so sadd.. T,T
clminzydarabomlover #10
Chapter 24: Authornim i cried reading this
Yes i was bullied when was in primary school but stuff sorta stop when i went to secondary but yeah it still haunts me everytime i read theese type of stuff or when my friends ignore me but im fine.......