I was quick enough to process everything the trainer said. I ran away and looked for Kwon Jiyong. I was right to head straight towards the cafeteria where I left him after I took my lunch. But what I saw greatly affected me.

Jiyong’s arm was around the shoulder of a girl I recognized from yesterday. She was the one leading the other students who were throwing the eggs towards us. When I saw him laughing along with her, my eyes squinted. I felt my hands clenched in tight fists. I was about to turn my back when he called me.

“Oh, Dara! You’re there. I thought you said you had a practice,” he said calmly, as though there wasn’t anyone beside him, as though I haven’t witnessed anything.

I squinted my eyes at him and turned to run away. But he was fast to catch me by the wrist.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

I turned to him and I gave him those stares I give to everyone else. “Leave me alone.”

Maybe it was the look on my face that made him release his tight grasp on my wrist.

I quickly went to the music room. I sat by the piano and I felt sting in my eyes. I closed them tight to stop the stinging but instead, I felt hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

Why am I even crying? Was I jealous? I shook my head because of the thought.

No! Of course not. He’s just a friend, who I haven’t known for that long. I ran away a while ago and crying right now because he was being friendly to the girl who bullied us. Yes! That’s the exact reason. I mean, why would he be hanging out with that girl? She hurt us. She threw eggs to him, to us.

Yes! I’m mad at him because of that. He’s being a jerk. At least, he has to think of what I would feel if I saw him with the exact girl who bullied me, who threw eggs at him.

After a while of crying, I felt my eyes drop. Then I drifted to oblivion.

I woke with a start when I heard the bell ringing. I stared at my watch. It’s time for my second class this afternoon, which meant I was absent for my first class.

“Damn! I fell asleep,” I said and cursed.

I hurriedly stood up to leave when I saw a note on the keys of the piano and another lollipop. I recognized the penmanship. As usual, it was from Daddy-Long-Legs.

                Why were you crying? Did you confront Youngbae again to take you back? Did you suddenly remember your family? Or perhaps you had a fight with Kwon Jiyong? Didn’t you follow my advice?

I smiled. He’s looking out for me. But why didn’t I notice him when he gave me this note?

I wrote back a reply.

                My friend, Kwon Jiyong, is friends with the girl who bullied me and who threw eggs at him. I don’t know. But I think I got hurt seeing him laughing with that girl. It angered me seeing him sharing laughter with her. I want to strangle the life out of the girl.

I stuck the note to my locker. Maybe he won’t see it when I leave it on the piano.

It was the end of my last class when I met Kwon Jiyong on the hallway.

“Hey!” he greeted.

But I dropped my eyes to the ground and ignored him. Gladly, he didn’t follow me. I went to my locker. I saw another note and a lollipop.

                Perhaps you’re jealous. Kekeke. I’m kidding. Perhaps he has a good reason or maybe the girl apologized already. Don’t be sad now. He’s still your friend, isn’t he?

This didn’t help at all. Is Daddy-Long-Legs on his side now? I thought he’s on my side. Aish, really! I stomped my way towards the music room. I was surprised when from the outside I heard someone playing the piano. I took a peek and saw Kwon Jiyong playing. He saw me and continued playing, while singing.

I'm sorry for hurting you

I'm sorry for doing nothing for you

I'm sorry for forgetting you

I'm sorry, but today

I want you to forgive me

When he finished, he stared at me.

“I’m sorry, Dara,” he knelt on the ground. “Whatever it is I did wrong, please forgive me. I really don’t know what I did but please forgive me.”

I walked towards him and helped him up.

“Do you know who that girl is?”

He nodded. “She’s a friend.”

“Oh, now she’s your friend already? Don’t you remember what she did to us yesterday?”

He gasped. “Was she there when the eggs were thrown at us?”

“She was leading them.”

He gasped again. “I didn’t know. I didn’t notice. I’m sorry,” he knelt on the ground again but I helped him up again.

“It’s alright,” I said, patting his arm. “Okay, so where’s everyone?”

“The practice got cancelled. I don’t know why though.”

I nodded and went to the piano. “It’s only you and me now. Stand there and sing.”

“What?” he asked.

“The trainer told me a secret a while ago. She told me that she’s going to kick you out of this club if you would not do well on our supposedly practice today…” I paused and waited for him to react. He was pretty shocked. “Okay, since it’s just the two of us, I would teach you the new piece and show her what you got for tomorrow’s practice.”

He smiled at me and then we started.

When we finished our practice, we cleaned the room. I was listening to music with my earphones on when I felt Jiyong tugging my wrist forcefully. He pulled me towards the storage closet and closed the door. The room was too small that I felt claustrophobic. It was also dark too. He hugged me to his chest as I was looking up to him with curiousness in my eyes. But he wasn’t looking at me. He was peeking outside. Since the storage closet has a double door, it created a crack for him to peek through. I can’t see through like him because he was blocking the view.

“What’s happening?” I asked, removing the earphones from my ear.

He shushed me and went back to peek through.

“Let me see.”

“No,” he said firmly.

“Let me see,” I repeated.

He stared at me and hesitated for a while but he moved his body a bit and I was able to see through the crack.

What I saw broke my heart. Youngbae was there. Jina was there. They were making out, laughing, nibbling in each other’s ears, kissing her neck, and ing his uniform.

For a while, I regretted letting Jiyong move so I can peek through but since I’m already here, I didn’t look away. Youngbae looked happy. Jina looked happy. Perhaps it was not a bad idea that we broke up. He looked happy in other people’s arms. He never looked happy when he was with me. He never smiled like that when he’s with me. But despite of accepting the fact that we’re really through, I found myself tearing up seeing him that happy.

“Youngbae…” Jina said.

“Jina…” he said. “I love you…”

That broke my heart more. He never said those words to me. It was only me who says those words to him. Tears were now endlessly falling.

“Youngbae,” Jina said, stopping Youngbae from removing her bra.

“Why?” Youngbae sounded disappointed.

“Isn’t this your ex-girlfriend’s favorite place?”

“So?”

“I don’t know…”

Youngbae kissed her lips again. “Don’t worry about it, Jina,” he said, kissing her neck now. “Dara doesn’t mind.”

Jina moaned as he felt Youngbae’s hands on her body.

“Don’t be too loud,” Youngbae said. “You’ll wake Dara’s ghost.”

Dara was taken aback.

Jina laughed so hard. “Dara’s not yet dead, Youngbae.”

“She is to me,” Youngbae said, laughing along with her.

My view was suddenly covered. I looked up as I saw Jiyong’s expression. He looked scary. He hugged me tighter to himself and I buried my head on his chest as I cried harder. I felt my whole system tremble while listening to their moans. Suddenly, I dropped my MP3 player.

“What’s that?” Jina asked, suddenly alert.

“See? I told you you’ll wake Dara’s ghost if you moan loud like that.”

Jina dressed herself. “Come, let’s continue this at home.”

Youngbae groaned. “I can’t wait anymore.”

Silence… the music room was silent now. The only sounds I can hear are my cries and Jiyong’s heartbeat. We stayed like that inside the closet even though the music room’s already empty.

I thought I moved on already. I thought I don’t have feelings for Youngbae anymore. But just the sight of him making love with this Jina, made me realized that I was far from getting over him.

I didn’t talk. Jiyong didn’t ask how I was feeling. He let me cry on his chest. He let me feel he’s here for me. He let me feel the warmth I never felt from other people before. After five years, I felt that I wasn’t alone. I felt how it is to feel someone’s warmth. I felt hope – hope that I’m not alone, that there is still one person who stays beside me even though there were numerous times that I pushed him away.