"Come on Yoochun!" Junsu called. "It's freezing outside, get in!"

Yoochun looked at his smiling friend in the illuminated doorway and sighed. Even if he did step in, he knew the numb feeling that had taken over his body wouldn't go away.

"Come un, Chunnie, I'm thirsty!" Jaejoong's irritated voice floated over. "Don't you wanna get warm?"

So Yoochun complied, but his mind remained outside. Was it only two years ago, when they left SM? Was it seriously more than 7 years since they debuted? Somehow he always taken what he had for granted, and now it seemed to be taken all away...

"Here." A cup was in his hands, and Yoochun noticed he was sitting down at a table. Jaejoong's eyebrows raised. "Drink."

And so he sipped at the warm liquid. Raspberry filled his nose, making forget-but only for a second. The sour taste made his eyes water.

"Yoochun, are you okay?" Junsu asked, worried. Even though he had been so successful these days, he still noticed. Yoochun's heart ached.

He took a breath. "My father..."

Jaejoong and Junsu nodded, waiting.

Yoochun tried again. "My father and my mother are divorced, right? I learned that...that he had been in a car accident yesterday." His voice cracked as he tried to keep his compsure. "He's in critical condition."

"WHAT??" Both guys went.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Jaejoong demanded.

"You can tell us anything," Junsu added.

Yoochun sat back, looking at the floor, just wanting to look anywhere but his friends' faces. "I did-I did want to tell you. But I couldn't help thinking..." He took a deep breath. "I never said I love you to my father. Never, not in my entire life. To my own father!" He closed his eyes, trying to contain the rivers that were threatening to flow down his cheeks.

His friends kept silent.

He took another breath. "It made me...it made me think of all the other people I had never told that I had appreciated their presence, that I would always value them before myself. And then I was brought back to the days when we were one, the proud five, instead of the two, disjoint groups with such tension when we once had been brothers-" Now he couldn't keep back the tears. As they moistened his cold cheeks, he buried his face into his hands. 

Sobs started to shake Yoochun's body. He cried for Yunho and Changmin. He cried for the loss of the SM family that he used to belong. He cried for the time he left his mother and his brother back in the foreign land called The States. And he cried for his father, someone he used to look up to.

Arms patted his back and his friends joined him. "Hey, you forgot something," Jaejoong growled.

Yoochun lifted his head slightly, so they would know he was listening, but not enough to uncover his face.

"You have at least two people who know your appreciation," Junsu quietly said.

And so the three sat in Kiss Cafe, mourning the loves they never got to say good bye, as the light created shadows on the snowy sidewalks outside.

*

So, by morrisvd's request, here's an update! Sorry if it's not that good, since I wrote it out from scratch from the actual site, not like how I usually do where I type it up on Word, give it a few more glances before I upload it on here. But just reading a fan letter made me want to write this...I had a similar revelation when I was in 3rd grade. Anyone else that can relate?

Anyway I got a bunch of kindle books to catch up-and all romance. YIKES! But that means more ideas...hopefully it's not a treacherous ride. Any book suggestions?