Chapter 1.

Fix that Spoiled Brat!

maroon = you

purple = mom

green = dad

ENJOY CHAPTER 1 (written in 3rd pov for now)

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“YAH! BE CAREFUL WITH THOSE BAGS! THEY’RE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN YOUR PAYCHECK!” she yelled as she stormed into her mansion.

The maids rolled their eyes as they carried the big shopping bags from Louis Vuitton, Michael Kors, Ralph Lauren up the stairs to her room.~~~ carefully took off her makeup, something she did not even need for her already natural looking fresh face. ~~~ looked into the mirror, concentrating on cautiously removing her makeup.  What she did not know was that her mother was standing patiently by her door.

“Ahem.”

“OMO. UMMA! You scared me!” ~~~ yelled as she accidently spilled her makeup remover on the floor.

“Ugh. MAID! HURRY AND CLEAN THIS UP RIGHT NOW!” ~~~ yelled through the door.

A maid quickly came into the room.

“No need for that. You can go back to the living room.” ~~~’s mom said.

The maid bowed 90 degrees and walked away.

*sigh* “You looked like a peaceful angel when removing your makeup, but as soon as you start opening your mouth, you become a monster.” Her mom joked.

“Hmpf. Not to be mean, but what do you want umma?”

“Come sit here, sweetie.” Her mother said as she made a hand motion for ~~ to sit on the bed.

*uh-oh* ~~ thought.

“Don’t worry. You’re not in trouble, dear.”

“Phew.”

“Anyways. Lately, our company’s stocks have been rapidly decreasing for some reason. Our representatives think that somebody from the Kim

Company has been spying on us and stealing our ideas since both companies have similar ideas and promotions.”

~~~ stared with confusion as her mother sighed.

“Long story short, I’m not giving you allowance anymore.”

“WHAT?!” ~~~ jolted up from the bed.

“WHY? UMMA, CAN’T YOU SEE THAT MONEY IS MY LIFE? SHOPPING, FOOD! THAT’S HEAVEN.  WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MONEY NOW? WHAT THE POO UMMA? HOW IS YOUR STUPID COMPANY AFFECTING ME?!”

“That’s it ~~~.  I cannot take your spoiled attitude anymore. Both your father and I did not raise you like this."

"First of all, our company is not stupid. You are going to be CEO soon, so learn from the workers you see around the building sometime soon. Fix

that sick profanity of yours. That is simply not lady-like!”

~~~ rolled her eyes.

“Second, you should think about other families struggling with money. Just look at those clothes you buy. You don’t even need them! Sometimes I even think that you only wear your clothes once and then throw it out!”

“Umma, that’s because I do. Wearing a piece of clothing twice is a big no-no.” ~~~ grinned.

Her mother smacked her own forehead while shaking her head and replied, “You need help.”

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“Miss. Miss Lee. It’s time to wake up.” One maid shook her.

“zZZzz what time is it?” she murmured.

“10:13 AM miss. You’re late on meeting your father.”

“OH . WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP EARLIER, STUPID AHJUMMA! YOU’RE FIRED!” ~~~ yelled as she jumped out of bed to meet her father in the living room.

*damn people can't do their job right these days* ~~~ neatly put her hair in a bun and brushed her teeth in lightning, not minding to change out of her turtle pajamas and rushed past the maid who was now on the floor, crying since she lost her job.

“I’M HERE FATHER! Did you and mom change your mind about cutting my allowance? ” ~~~ smiled widely while closing her eyes.

When ~~~ opened her eyes, her eyes widened.

“Good morning, darling. Instead of money, meet Kim Myungsoo!”

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Rini6189
#1
She's still not making much of a progress. Myungsoo would have to get more creative about getting her to actually take in what he's teaching her. It's good that he's being patient with her. Knowing him, he definitely won't give up easily even after some setbacks. That is an awkward position for the two to be caught up in. It sounds like he's just teasing her about giving him a kiss to make up for her misbehavior.

Chapter 11 (12) mistakes:

1. "Thanks for breakfast Mrs. Lee!"
* Comma after "breakfast"

2. LET GO OF ME YOU PRICK.
* Comma after "me"

3. "This is so stupid, since I hired you, can't you do it?"
Correction: "This is so stupid. Since I hired you, can't you do it?"

4. You gulped and try to make a run for it, but he tackled you to the ground.
Correction: tried
Rini6189
#2
It's not wise to have more than a little drink when you can't handle that much. Since I'm not a drinker myself, I wouldn't be able to hold my alcohol well if I had a few drinks. It's good that she has Myungsoo there to keep her from getting herself into more trouble. In addition to being a mentor, he's practically her babysitter--keeping her in check. His father is heartless. Myungsoo has done the right thing by not complying to his father's dirty deeds even at the risk of letting his family down. He really does care about her to not want to hurt her. That's "love."

xD It must be a "spur of the moment" thing for HeyAsian to mention Sunggyu's solo song, "Because," as she's typing his part. That tends to disrupt the mood that the readers get into while reading a serious part. If that's done in a comedy, it'd fit the mood well.
Rini6189
#3
Chapter 10 (11) mistakes:

1. you sighed as you drank your coffee while putting your legs up at your desk.
Correction: on your desk
*The beginning of each sentence that's not a part of the dialogue must be capitalized.

2. An employee next door came into your and Myungsoo's office without knocking.
Correction: An employee next door came into your, and Myungsoo's, office without knocking.

3. Meanwhile, you finished the glass of beer, which was probably your ninth glass and put your head down on the table.
*Extra comma needed after "glass"

4. he said as he literally threw you in the car.
Correction: into

5. I took her bridal style back to her house,
Correction: carried

6. It was Sunggyu who was rubbing his hands together because of the cold outside.
Correction: cold temperature

7. She may be bratty, y, snappy, and greedy, but in the inside, she's hurt.
Correction: on the inside

8. I thought that if I kept on going, it'll hurt her feelings, but now either way it'll hurt her.
* A pair of commas need to be added before and after "either way."
daesooxxz
#4
Yeah man! I get it (when it comes to Sunggyu's solo song). Hahaha. *high five!*
Rini6189
#5
Because of his capabilities that make him suitable for a position in the Lee company, it must be easy for him to land that job (in addition to mentoring her). It must be his father's order to apply for a job at the company. He really is that attractive to draw in a swarm of ladies. That little food fight they had going on between them is childish. Despite being mature most times, he has a playful side to him. Showing her this side of him in front of her must be his way of getting her to lighten up and not be uncomfortable around him. Giving her a compliment is a form of flattery--to get in her good graces. Though, Myungsoo doesn't seem the type who'd say something that he doesn't mean. For him to know some things about her already, her parents must've informed him about her and her attitude/behavior/habits that displeases them so that he'll be aware of what she needs to change about herself as her mentor. This is to prepare him beforehand in order for him to figure out how to deal with her. The more he hangs around her, the more opportunities they'll get to know each other better. Things could turn ugly once they find out that their rival company's plans to take them down from the inside.
Rini6189
#6
Chapter 9 ("Chapter 10") mistakes:

1. You rolled your eyes, thank god you were wearing shades and replied back to everybody,
Correction: You rolled your eyes--thank God you were wearing shades--and replied back to everybody,
* The phrase that starts with "thank God" is obviously not a part of the sentence. The hyphens are placed there to separate the interruption.

2. You took a look around the main floor, rolling your eyes at employees who were just sitting on their chair, doing absolutely nothing.
Correction: You took a look around the main floor and rolled your eyes at employees who were just sitting in their chairs doing absolutely nothing.

3. You got out of the stall and the two females eyes widened.
Correction females' eyes

4. The waitress came and took are orders, then coming back a few minutes later with his food...
Correction: The waitress came and took our orders then came back a few minutes later with his food...

5. He then took some icing off my cupcake and smeared it on my nose and cheek.
Correction: my nose and my cheeks

*Note: It's written as "French fry."
gongturchan #7
@woohinfinite - soon! :)
@GeekInspirit - maybe, maybe not! stay tuned ~
@aNONAmous - hehe
@tamiyoung - maybe maybe not kekkeke
tamiyoung
#8
aww they just didn't realize that they already fallen in love with each other ^^ i think myungsoo is the one who gonna rebel his father
GeekInspirit
#9
HE CALLED HER BEAUTIFUL!! BUT is he going to betray her? :'(