Your POV

I turned the tv on and waited anxiously for MBLAQ's turn to perform. It was their turn to do a parody of shy boy. I was excited and couldn't stop singing to Infinite's The Chaser.

i smiled as the MC introduced them out.

The camera man focused on Thunder and moved onto the other members but I don't see Joon. i worry but smiled when i saw him doing his usual aegyo.

I blushed when I saw him wearing the scarf I gave him.

The song ended as quick as it started.

I was disappointed but was happy that finally they came on.

The show was drawing to an end and all the idols bid their farewell. I look at IU and the GG members.

SIgh, they're really pretty. They're all so skinny and perfec dolls there.

Mir was busy with the members of A pink and the other members were talking to other band groups.

I turned the TV off and went straight to the computer to tweet to MBLAQ.

Even though they don't know it's me because of my icon, I still want them to know that their fans are supporting them.

I went on youtube and looked up fancams of MBLAQ, but saw something new.

It was a new female dancer with MBLAQ. Wow, I didn't know that Hyuna would make it to the lime light that fast. I mean it was just last week since she debuted as MBLAQ's back up dancer.

"HYUNA, MBLAQ'S BACK UP DANCER IS TO  HAVE HER DEBUT SONG NEXT WEEK!" the headline all over tumblr and allkpop read.

What? Already? But..don't they take years of training before being able to debut?

How did this even happen?

"Hello?" Joon answered across the line.

"Joon, how come Hyuna got to debut so quickly?" i asked him

It wasn't relevant to call him, but I felt the urge to find out.

"Didn't you know that her dad is friends with the company's boss? And apparently her looks have won over them." he said.

"Oh wait. I trust you to not to tell anyone what I just told you. Don't tell anyone please pelase pleasse plaeseeeeeee. or else I'll get my head chopped off!" he begged.

"Alright alright, "I laughed, "Well, it's time to go now. Sleep well!" I said and hung up.

So it's because she had connections before hand. Does that mean that that's why she got in at the auditions and not me?

Did the others member know of this?

Does that mean I have better talent than them? i could've got in if I was going against someone else right?

If it wasn't for Hyuna, I would have been able to get in and be able to debut now too right?

I forgot about Hyuna for the while and went to check on asian fan fics. Wow, I GOT A COMMENT?!?!?!? [im really that happy irl when i see i got a comment xD]

"WAH!! DAEBAK!! THIS STORY!! IT'S LIKE YOU EXPERIENCE IT IN REAL LIFE!! PLEASE KEEP UPDATING <3" a subber said. I smiled at the comment and began writing.

I want to write about my life, the one in reality, but just have some little changes. No one would ever know that I would live such a life right/

I mean, what type of fangirl would be that lucky right?

The week passed quickly and Joon and I didn't talk that much. He was busy with his new schedule of promoting on his own, and the others had other solo promotions of their own.

My schedule was jam packed too. Jam packed with packets of ramen and stacks of dramas that is.

Since it's the school holidays right now, I get to stay up late and do the things I usually wouldn't do.

I checked youtube again and saw that Hyuna made her new song, "Change".

I watched the video she did with another member of B2ST.

Wow, she looks so pretty and fierce and the dance and talent she shows off.

I feel so jealous. People were giving her such positive comments.

In a few days time, her song is known all over Korea and everywhere I go, I would hear her song.

That could've been me too. I could've been singing that  song and look y and did all those dance moves.

Whatever. I don't care. After finding out that she used connections to get through for the auditions, i felt as though I have more talent than her.

I turned the tv on and music bank was showing.

Infinite, UKISS and MBLAQ all performed and there was one last performance before the winner is announced.

It was Hyuna with her song Change. Again, that stupid stupid stupid song. Why is it always playing?

It's not catchy and it's boring and it's EW BECAUSE IT'S HYUNA. No, calm down, don't let jealousy take over you. It's ok.

I calmed myself down but got all worked up again when I saw Joon dancing with her in the routine.

Why isn't that other guy there? Why is Joon dancing?

It's such a ual dance at that too. Why are they doing that???

I wanted to pull my hair out right now. i slurped the ramen harder and ate at a quick pace. I heaved up heavy breaths and decided to change the channel before I kill someone.

CHANGE. I JUST USED THAT HORRIBLE WORD. AGAIN. CHANGE. STUPID WORD.,FQWVSGFA

I slammed my head on the table, Wae wae wae wae wae.

"NEXT UP IS MBLAQ'S JOON! RIGHT AFTER MUSIC BANK ENDS!" The host announced.

Well let's see this.

"So Joon-goon, after seeing your hot performance with Hyuna before, can we ask you a few questions?" the female host asked.

I turned the volume higher and sat up on the couch, snuggled in my pjs and listened up to the show.

"So, Joon, have you got closer to Hyuna-ssi?" the host asked.

He nodded and smiled shyly.

"Well, in some interviews, Hyuna did say that you're her type. What's your type like?" the male host asked.

"Thank you Hyuna-ssi. My type is someone who is shorter than me, younger than me, someone who can make me laugh, can cook for me and be an idiot around me." he laughed.

Is he talking about me? OMO. No way. He isn't right? i touched my reddened cheeks and smiled to myself. Wah, Joon is such a sweet guy.

The next bit caught my train of thoughs though.

"Wah, Joon-goon, your girl must really be something huh?" the hosts laughed.

"Isn't Hyuna younger and shorter than you?" the female hosts asked.

"And there's pictures of you and Hyuna having a good time with each other. OH, and isn't this you and her eating together?" the male host chirped in.

Joon didn't say anything and scratched the back of his head and smiled shyly and bllushed.

He blushed? What?

"So is Hyuna-ssi your type?"

I anticipated his answer.

I waited and it seemed like it take forever.

"Uh well, she is close to my ideal type." he said.

That broke my heart. I thought that I would be his ideal type.

"Well then, do you have someone in mind?"

"Yah yah, it's too much into his personal life. How about Joon-ssi, you make a video message for Hyuna-ssi?" the female host suggested.

"Ah, Hyuna-ssi, welcome to the company. Let's be friends." he smiled at the screen.

I wish he mentioned my name, but after all I am just a fan right?

"Yah, Joon-ssi, we know you're a gentleman, but if you do it like this, it would be boring. Make it cute!!"

"Ah, Hyuna. Thank you for saying that I'm your type, you're my type too. Let's go on a dinner date on day." he said and smiled again.

I slouched my position on the couch and was on the verge of tears.

"There's no need for a video message because Hyuna-ssi is right here with us!"

My eyes popped when she appeared on stage and greeted everyone and gave joon a hug.

BOH? DID SHE..DID SHE...DID SHE JUST LAY HER TY HANDS ON MY OPPA? Wah, chincha, just a month ago, she was the school's typical , and now, here she is, all over my Joon. What  is this.

At this point, I was angry and wanted to scream, but I remember that I have neighbours.

OH GOD. IF I WAS THERE. AT THAT STUDIO. I WOULD HAVE SLAPPED HER SO HARD, THAT SHE FLEW ALL THE WAY TO FREAKING ENGLAND FOR ALL I CARE.

I could feel heat coming out of my ears and I was already panting from the anger.

No, this is not happening. Joon and Hyuna, WILL NEVER BE TOGETHER. I WILL NEVER SHIP THEM!!!!!!

"And, that's the rest of the show. Please keep supporting MBLAQ! Thank you for watching!" the hosts said and wrapped up the show.

I turned the tv off and made another pot of ramen.

It's my 6th packet tonight and I have no regrets. Whatever.

I cracked opened the bottle of Soju and started drinking while waiting for my ramen to cook.

I sat and blew the noodles and ate with anger. I was so angry that I was shaking.

I looked at my phone. Already half an hour after the show ended and he still hasn't called.

I cleaned up the ramen pots and began scrubbing the house spotless.

I wanted to do things and get the image of him and her together out of my mind.

I did my holiday homework and renovated my room.

It was almost midnight when I finished.

I looked at my phone and no calls or texts. Really? You can't even call me? You didn't even think that I would be pissed off now would you? You wouldn't right? I'm just a stupid fan amongst the millions of other fans right? I'm just delusional right? RIGHT?

I drank more Soju, but the alcohol was too weak.

I opened the bottle of wine my parents had and started drinking.

After a few sips, I was already drunk.

"Why doesn't he love me the way I do?" I cried alone to myself.

"It's because I'm ugly right?" I cried again.

Stupid Joon for not calling me and making me all depressed.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

i dived for it and only saw that my brother called me.

I didn't even bother answering him.

I looked at my phone and it's already midnight.

The phone rang again and I looked at who it was. Joon.

Stupid Joon.

OH YOU'RE CALLING AT THIS TIME? WHEN IT'S 10 YEARS AFTER THE SHOW ENDED?

WHATEVER. WHY DO I HAVE TO PICK UP?

My vision got blurry and I wasn't sober enough to do anything right.

I looked at the phone and picked up

"YAH! PABO! WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME EARLIER!!! YAH! YOU MADE ME FEEL SO SAD. FOR SO LONG. YOU STUPID JERK. STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!" I screamed and threw the phone to the floor and it cracked into pieces.

I stood there and laughed like a mad person.

It broke, like my heart.

ha. at such a time, I can still make lame jokes. Wow. Wow.

HA. HA. HA.

Whatever, joon is stupid. stupid stupid stupid. They're all stupid. Men are stupid. I HATE THEM ALL