Zoa has never dated before. In fact, she’s very inexperienced at love and everyone around her is aware of that. No one is pressuring her to know or makes her feel guilty and embarrassed for not knowing, especially Jihan. But just like how she’s inexperienced with having those feelings she’s also very oblivious when it comes to dating as a whole matter or what being together is even supposed to mean. No one blames her and surely no one expects her to gain all that knowledge in one night or one week of dating Jihan. Not even Jihan herself expects that. Actually, screw that. Jihan herself has stated times and times again, mostly to Zoa so she wouldn’t stress out about this that it’s fine and that they’re going to take their own pace; no matter how slow that is. 

The point is, that Zoa has barely watched any romantic movies, hasn’t paid much attention to what other couples around her do or even her unnies and surely hasn’t read any romantic books in her life before. She’s always stuck with animation and later on Marvel movies and adventures ones because they always seemed fun. Sure, every single one of those movies or books contain a little bit of romance but Zoa’s mind never focused on that and now that she tries recalling it to seek for some help she can’t remember anything or anything specific that could be helpful. 

It’s not like anyone is stressing her out about this so at first, she enjoys things how they are. And well then thing is… exactly that… 

Things are the same as how they’ve always been. 

But is this a bad thing? Surely not. If this makes Zoa happy then no, it’s not bad. 

It’s not bad as long as both Zoa and Jihan are happy by just being around each other, holding hands, hanging out every single day and texting everyday, all day. No one tells them a single thing and if anything when Zoa’s unnies get to know about this they’re too happy and excited to see her around Jihan. From now on, they always pay them extra attention which makes Zoa shy but also happy that they share the same excitement as she does. 

Soojin has been worried about Jiwoo who also got to know about Zoa’s relationship pretty early, but Jiwoo has assured her with a bittersweet smile and the following words,

“I love her unnie. And love means seeing the ones you love being happy. And Zoa is very happy with Jihan unnie, so I’m happy that she’s happy, even if it personally hurts me.” 

So things are going alright. Surely not the whole campus knows about Zoa and Jihan’s relationship ⏤not even her classmates do⏤ unlike her unnies who are pretty popular around college and lots of students got to know about their relationships pretty quickly but then again Zoa and Jihan aren’t showing that much affection when in public ⏤or at least it’s not out of the ordinary so no one suspects anything. Then again, they don’t care if other people get to know anyway. 

“Gosh Zoa I love that you’re happy dating Jihan unnie but please let that phone down once and focus here please. You were the one asking me for help to catch up with all the homework you missed out these past few days, why are you even ignoring me to text Jihan unnie?” Zoa smiles shyly upon the mention of Jihan’s name or the fact that they’re dating and sets down her phone, smiling like a dope to herself as she mumbles shyly,

“Sorry. I’ll try to focus from now on.” Jiwoo smiles back at her friend. Even though it hurts her she’s truly deeply happy for her friend. She can spot the differences immediately not just from the gloomy Zoa that she’s faced the past few days but overall the Zoa she’s firstly faced during October or the Zoa she’s faced these past few months overall.Sure the girl has been way too bright especially when she would be around Jihan but now that they’re dating it’s even more obvious. The girl’s face has lightened up way more, her eyes are filled with glee and she’s always smiling so brightly and giggling happily to herself. She looks and is so happy that Jiwoo can’t even think of her own pain at this point because Zoa’s happiness is contagious and actually affects Jiwoo and makes her happy too. 

“You know, Jihan unnie won’t disappear if you don’t reply to her texts for a few hours.” Jiwoo decides to friend a little, adoring Zoa’s happiness a little too much to the point that she feels the wild need to ⏤a characteristic of Jiwoo’s that has always been there and she’s happy that it hasn’t vanished no matter her personal feelings as that’s a part of herself that she’s sure is friendly and only. 

“A few hours?” Zoa’s happy expressions fade away immediately as her jaw drops and sadness and shock is written all over her face. 

“Yeah. It will take us a long while for you to catch up on all the homework we have and if you keep texting her it will take us days. So if you want this done quickly, focus back here now, please. Also, weren’t you the one ditching her for hours a few days ago?” Jiwoo teases Zoa at the end who gasps. 

“I… uh… it’s not the same thing!” She tries to defend herself. Jiwoo laughs. 

“I was only messing with you idiot. Now, focus back here please. You’re a smart one you’re gonna get back on track in no time.” Jiwoo says, ruffling Zoa’s top of her head before the two focus back on Jiwoo’s notes, Zoa copying them down on her own notebooks after Jiwoo’s analytical and long explaining. 

After hours of studying and studying again, accompanied with lots of groaning and a strong headache coming from Zoa, a soft knock is heard over her door and she smiles happily once she sees Soojin entering her dorm room with Jihan by her side. 

“My savior!” Zoa exclaims happily as she stands up from her seat and runs up to Jihan, hugging her tightly. Jihan giggles happily and caresses Zoa’s top of her head softly even though the girl is obviously taller than her. Jiwoo groans a little. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? That I’m torturing you? Do you want me to remind you that you were the one skipping classes because you were sulking over your girlfriend?” 

“Mean!” Zoa exclaims and pouts as she points at Jiwoo to Jihan as if Jihan would scold Jiwoo or something. Jihan only laughs. 

“I suppose studying with Jiwoo is a little tiring?” She asks Zoa who nods her head. 

“I thought that would be the case so I’ve brought some dinner for you two.”

“You won’t stay?” Zoa asks and sadness is visible on her face as she widens her eyes in that cute, adorable way of hers, trying to convince Jihan to stay with her. 

“Unfortunately I’m not. You need to focus on studying, so I think it’s better to leave you alone with Jiwoo.” Jihan says and Zoa furrows her eyebrows. 

“But why? You’re not distracting at all! You could be sitting over there at my bed and I would totally be fine. Totally focused!” Now Zoa isn’t a dumb one. She knows Jihan is obviously a distraction for her but she just wants to be around Jihan so bad. The more the better, right? 

“Totally focused my ! You’ve been texting her nonstop earlier! She’s a distraction even when she’s not here!” Jiwoo exclaims and looks at Soojin, asking for help with just a glance. 

“Jiwoo is right Zoa. Jihan won’t stop dating you just because you have to study hard for today, alright? You will have time to hang out with Jihan tomorrow, ok?” Zoa pouts as she looks at Jihan pleadingly, still trying to convince her. Jihan bites her lips as she lets out a sigh. It’s hard saying no to Zoa, especially when the girl looks this adorable ⏤and she knows she does, that’s why she’s doing it, totally on purpose though it works. 

“I miss you too Zo. But they’re right. I only passed by to see how you were doing and give you some dinner because I wanted to make sure you have all of your meals.” Zoa pouts even more as she sees she’s losing this game of convincing Jihan to stay. She sighs heavily. 

“Can I at least call you before going to sleep?” She asks with a sad pout and Jihan nods her head. Zoa sighs again and nods her head back. Soojin places their plastic bags of dinner on her own desk for the two to get later on once they decide to have a break from studying and Zoa hugs Jihan tighter, placing her hand over Jihan’s head and her other hand on Jihan’s back. 

“Can I get my goodnight kisses now then?” She asks cutely and Jihan giggles before she nods her head. Zoa squeals in glee before she pulls back and kisses Jihan on both of her cheeks, smiling widely out of happiness. Jihan smiles back, shyly, her cheeks blushing madly before she leans in and kisses Zoa on her cheeks too. 

Yes. That’s… another part of their slow progress. Kissing has been rare before. They kissed on the cheeks but only wherever they would get too sentimental or too happy being around each other, when an one on one hangout would go too well and make them too happy or when Zoa has left for Christmas holidays. Now though, kissing on the cheek is more often and it’s their own way of showing to each other that they love each other endlessly. Sure, it’s innocent and short, but for now it’s more than fine for the both of them as it makes them both way too giddy. Sure, Jihan hasn’t had her very first love or relationship before but she’s aware of how relationships usually go so she has never thought in her life that her very first relationship would go this slow and after a couple of days dating her very first girlfriend she wouldn’t even have shared her very first kiss but she doesn’t think she minds that much. Zoa is different, Zoa is special and just kissing on the cheeks for now already makes her too shy and giddy so it’s more than enough for now. She’s not even sure if she’s able to handle kissing on the lips now anyway… 

Zoa smiles happily at the kisses and giggles like a young happy kid that just received its candy. Jiwoo and Soojin can only smile in awe as they watch their interactions. Zoa gives Jihan another tight hug before she pushes her away softly and says,

“Go unnie! Before I change my mind and can’t let go of you!”

“Aw! You guys are so adorable I’m gonna puke!” Jiwoo teases Zoa who hits her on her shoulder lightly and playfully. Jihan blushes madly as she nods her head, waving goodbye to Zoa before she and Soojin leave the dorm room again, giving some privacy to the two to get back to studying again. 

“Lovestruck.” Jiwoo teases Zoa as she pulls out her tongue. Zoa scoffs playfully. 

“Leave me alone!” Jiwoo laughs. 

“Fine. Let’s get back to studying you airhead. Actually no, wait. You’re not an airhead. You’re Jihanhead! Because she’s all you can think of and see! Oh my gosh yes that’s it! Monday unnie is gonna love my joke!” Jiwoo exclaims in glee and smiles happily as if she’s said the best joke out there. The mere idea of Monday loving Jiwoo’s jokes more than her own is something that makes Jiwoo always too gleeful because Monday is the queen of comedy as Jiwoo says and everyone agrees at that, honestly. So getting Monday’s approval, Monday’s liking on your jokes and even Monday using your jokes is a big deal. Zoa shakes her head, groaning at Jiwoo’s lame jokes while the girl texts Monday quickly and laughs hysterically once Monday replies with lots of crying from too much laughter emojis as well as replies of how much she’s loving that joke and is surely going to use it too much for Zoa’s own good. The tall deer like girl can only sigh to herself before she scolds Jiwoo and pleads her to get back into studying. 

======================================================

“What do people wear on dates?” Zoa asks Soojin nervously that one random, peaceful Sunday morning. It's finally her very first date with her very first girlfriend. Nope, they haven't gone on any real dates ever since they started dating because one; they've been busy all week catching up with classes and two; because Zoa had to catch up with all the homework she's missed too. Then again, they've hung out a lot around campus, but that's that and none of them actually counts like an actual real date date. 

Truth to be told, Zoa is nervous. In a different way than when she usually gets when exams are around the corner or when she's studying hard for a test or an essay she has to give in a short period of time. It's also a different nervousness than the ones she gets before an important basketball game or when she first moved in at the dorms or even at her very first day at college. 

It's a kind of nervousness that she can't explain in simple words, can't put it together, can't even understand exactly. It's one that surely doesn't make her feel sick or even afraid of the results. She can't claim that she's calm though or that she feels only giddy and super excited to meet up with Jihan because her mind is suddenly flooded with countless of thoughts, questions and worries. Zoa has never felt more uncertain about herself before, to the point that she keeps looking at her reflection and sighing disappointedly for not meeting up her own expectations. 

“I don't even look nice. I'm too tall. My legs are too thin and my shoulders too stiff. Younghoon sunbaenim is right. I'm a log. I look awful! I don't think I should go on that date. What is Jihan unnie even seeing in me!?” Zoa lets out frustratedly, tossing her clothes on her bed before she ends up plopping herself on it, burying her head on the stack of messy clothes as she lets out a groan. 

“Wooah! Stop that right now! That's all your nervousness speaking up for you, you've never thought all these about yourself ever. Don't doubt yourself and surely don't doubt Jihan too.” Soojin scolds Zoa in her own motherly way before she back hugs the girl and helps her stand back up again. 

“I know this type of nervousness. Don't let it enter your head for too long or else you'll end up getting too depressed and trust me, none of these thoughts are ever true. It's just the nervousness that makes you doubt yourself. It even makes you doubt things that are for granted!” Soojin explains as she caresses Zoa's shoulders. Zoa frowns. 

“You know this type of nervousness?” Soojin hums in response. 

“Have you felt it too?” Soojin nods her head. 

“I had my first date too. Which didn't go that well. I don't know if you remember Minho from third grade in junior high school?” Zoa furrows her eyebrows deep in her thoughts for a few seconds before she gasps and nods her head intensely, remembering that one guy. Soojin has been talking about him for a while back then but Zoa was pretty young to understand all that. 

“He was a little awkward and clumsy and it was only one and only date. Either way. That was so long ago and I haven't figured out my uality yet as well. Nothing will change my very first date with Soeun though.” Now Zoa looks at Soojin curiously, finding Soojin's story interesting because one, it's about a girl, not a boy, and two, it's about her unnie whom she loves and cares about equally to how she loves and cares Soojin. So of course she's interested. 

“As you know… Soeun and I got together rather… oddly.” 

“If there's one thing I got to know with you unnies is that everyone takes their own step. You and Soeun unnie make your own story in your own way. Monday unnie and Jaehee chose another path and I and Jihan unnie are choosing our own.” Zoa says, trying to comfort Soojin. Soojin's eyes widened for a few seconds, not having imagined that Zoa, the person whom she was trying to kindly confess her new weird relationship to a couple of weeks ago would rather talk way too maturely now. It seems like being  in a relationship has made Zoa a lot more mature and serious already even though she doesn't know much. 

“Well, thanks for that. Either way so… uhm… we jumped way too many steps in a relationship and rather rushed to the very serious one because we were too in love and that's how we felt at the moment. We never regretted it but when Soeun asked me out the following day it was kind of… odd. I was so stressed out because I didn't know what to wear or how to act. It was all too new, too foreign and after having given her all of me… I wasn't sure how I could manage to do something as simple as going out on a date. I even remember that she held my hand at that cafeteria and said, “Soojin, it's just me. What has gotten you so nervous?” And then I remember I looked at her and… and I felt so much calmer just by her comforting stare and her holding my hand. She was right. It was just her, the same her I've always known, the same her I've always been best friends with, the same her I've grown up to, the same her I made love to the previous day. Nothing has changed.” Soojin narrates her story before she clears up and concludes,

“What I'm trying to say is that, Jihan isn't asking you to try too much on this date. Just be you. Just be like how you've always been around her and in your guys hangouts in or out of campus. She loves you, Zoa. So she's going to love whichever outfit you wear because it's you. Except if you dress up like black widow or something because that's totally so out of your character.” Zoa chuckles at the last part and nods her head, holding onto Soojin's hands before she gives them a soft squeeze, mumbling a soft but meaningful ‘thank you’ to Soojin. Soojin smiles before she stands up saying,

“Now, let's help you out with your outfit. It's weird how it's only me helping you out while the rest of the girls are over to Jihan's. Jeez, just how stressed out of her mind is she?” 

“Wait, what?” 

“You heard me. Monday and Soeun were supposed to join me to help you out on your very first date as we've always been there on your very first steps at something you achieve or do in your life but apparently Jihan was so nervous that she asked all of us to come over to her room. Even me! But I rejected saying that you would probably need me and also because you're my roommate.” Zoa smiles shyly before she nods her head, the mere thought of Jihan also asking out for help from all of their friends making her heart flutter and warm up as she feels flustered and shy. 

[...]

She fiddles with her fingers as she stands on her toes and back on her heels back and forth nervously as she’s just knocked over Jihan’s door. In the end, she ended up dressing up just like how she usually does just a little more elegant ⏤which is usually simple jeans and hoodies so this time it’s a tight green sweater with a long neck and black tight jeans accompanied with her black short boots as she has her long straight brown hair falling on her back, her light few bangs covering her forehead. Of course she’s brought her beanie, gloves, scarf and thick jacket with her along with her umbrella because unfortunately for them the weather looks too cold and about to rain soon. She looks adorable but also elegant and pretty ⏤according to Soojin. She’s surely gone through many existential crises that morning and surely thought of borrowing Soojin’s clothes or something just to look more mature and prettier but she realized soon enough that this is surely so not her and stuck back to her usual outfits. Yes, she’s still pretty much dressing up as simple and casual and surely still looks like her high school version but she believes she has a lot of years ahead of her to grow up, become more mature and find her own styling in fashion. For now, she likes the plain, simple and casual one she’s always had. 

The door is swang open revealing Jaehee ⏤Jihan’s roommate⏤ which was something Zoa hasn’t been that prepared for because usually Jihan opens the door whenever the two have arranged a hangout. Her nervous smile slightly falters and turns out to be an awkward one as she waves her hand awkwardly before Soojin nudges her from her side in order to give her some strength and encouragement. 

“Hi.” She says awkwardly. Jaehee yawns a little before she scratches her scalp softly. 

“Hey. What brings you guys here on a Sunday morning?” She asks. Zoa looks at her confused and a little shocked, caught off guard by the sudden question as she’s expected Jaehee to be informed about Zoa and Jihan’s first date just like how everyone else is. After all, they were all supposed to be at Jihan and Jaehee’s room to help Jihan-

“I’m joking. You’re here for Jihan. What makes you think that I’ll approve of this date huh?” Jaehee says, and jokes again at the end. Zoa looks at her awkwardly, not getting the joke while Soojin simply laughs. 

“Ey. If you’re not going to laugh at my jokes then I’m not going to make jokes anymore.” Jaehee says and pouts. 

“No no! Don’t worry at all! You’re funny, Jaehee ah. She’s just nervous.” Soojin says to Jaehee, not wanting the latter to believe that she doesn’t have a good sense of humor ⏤even though her humor is indeed a little weird at times⏤ before she pats Zoa’s shoulder sympathetically. 

“Who’s nervous?” Soeun’s voice from inside the room is heard before she shows up by the door. 

“Oh hey there! Hyewon is nervous?” She asks loudly and Zoa bites her lips embarrassed before she lets out a sigh. She’s sure Jihan is inside and is hearing their conversation so that is truly embarrassing. 

“Yes. So much that she’s not even reacting to my jokes, can you believe it?” Jaehee grumbles. 

“Well that’s not surprising. Your jokes are weird and you still need to work on them.”

“Hey!” 

“Oh hey there! It's that time that we all mock Jaehee again?” Monday shows up and greets Soojin and Zoa before she turns to look at Soeun who nods her head in confirmation.

“Wow! What a nice girlfriend that I have! Always picking my side and defending me against our weird friends with awful taste of humor!” Jaehee says sarcastically though Monday and Soeun laugh anyway. Zoa says a little as she's waved to Monday seconds ago as in to greet her back. She's not sure when or how or if she should ask about Jihan so she tries to stand on her toes and peek through the opening of the door and see if she can spot Jihan somewhere inside the dorm room. 

“Woah woah there! Don't try sneak peeking! That's cheating! And unfair. Jihan isn't fully dressed up yet. Except if you wanna see her in her bunny .” Monday tells the younger girl once she spots her peeking and Zoa's eyes widen at the girl's words before she hears a gasp from inside the room. 

“Unnie! They're not bunnies!” Upon hearing Jihan's voice from somewhere inside the room Zoa sighs in relief now knowing that the girl is surely inside. At the same time though she feels even more impatient and that bad need to see her. 

“What are they then? I'm pretty sure I'm not blind yet and I'm totally sane too. I see bunnies for sure.” Monday asks her as she turns to look towards a direction inside the room. 

“That’s not the point! You shouldn't mention that! What have you done!? Please tell Zoa not to imagine this! That's… embarrassing!” 

Monday laughs while Zoa looks at her confused while Soeun and Jaehee still bicker in front of her and Soojin tries hard to separate them and bring back peace to her friends. 

“She says: go and fantasize about her cute bunny .” Monday teases and Jihan groans even louder from inside the room while Zoa chuckles a little before she shakes her head. 

“Don't worry Jihannie! I'm not thinking about it just like you said!” She says, a little louder so Jihan could hear her from inside the room. Jihan smiles shyly to herself, feeling her cheeks warming up and getting painted with color. Truth to be told, she's not undressed —obviously—, just a little nervous as she hasn't stopped looking at her reflection in the mirror and fixing little details here and there. She takes a deep breath in before she lets out a longer one as Monday excuses herself from standing awkwardly at the door and joking around, preventing Zoa from entering the apartment. She walks towards Jihan and rests her hands on the girl's shoulders. 

“You're gorgeous, Jihan. You don't have to worry, mkay? Now, don't make her wait any longer and go have fun, ok?” Jihan nods her head, clenching her fists to her sides as in to give herself some extra strength and courage because she's sure she's going to need it and walks towards the door determinedly. Monday follows her before she shows up first by the door just to annoy Zoa a little bit more. 

“Hey there little one. I have to inform you that Jihan just got kidnapped by aliens but don't you worry! She's not their type of girl! The least they will do to her is eat her alive but at least they're not interested in her romantically so that's good news, right?” Monday jokes and Zoa looks at her surprised by the sudden odd joke before she glares at her deadpan. 

“For how long are you all planning to tease me? Seriously unnies.” She complains and just as she's about to keep complaining and demands to see Jihan the latter shows up beside Monday. Zoa's furrowsled and slightly grumpy expressions immediately calm down as they alter to surprised ones, then happy ones and then amused ones in milliseconds as she parts her lips about to greet the girl but only ends up gasping out incoherent things which of course caused the laughter to all of her unnies. 

“I…uh…” Jihan can only blush at the girl's reaction along with the girls laughing at her girlfriend. 

Girlfriend. It feels so nice to call Zoa that. It makes it more secure, and safe… like Zoa is hers and hers only, which is a fact that best friends surely don't have. 

“Gosh unnies, stop teasing her.” She lets out before her eyes land back on Zoa who's still amused by Jihan's look. The girl hasn't gone out of her usual style as well but she has surely taken a lot more care of her look. Unlike the usual casual everyday outfits she would wear around campus or the nice sweaters and dresses during weekends and parties, today she's worn her most beautiful floral dress, accompanied with a bow that ties a few loose strands of her dark brown hair at the back of her head. Her bangs are brushed lightly and cover her forehead as usual while she wears her happiest and brightest smile making her indeed look like a bunny transformed into a human or something, her dimples s