***

2 Days Later

2 am.

Seungwan's eyes fluttered open, and she was immediately met with a wave of pain coursing through her entire body. It felt like every inch of her bones was shattering simultaneously.

She mustered the strength to reach for the console above her head, trying to adjust the bed angle in a desperate attempt to find some relief. But the pain persisted, and she felt utterly miserable.

Chemotherapy was far from painless. During the first three days, she had to endure the constant administration of Fludarabine and Cyclophosphamide. These powerful drugs weakened her body to the extreme, making her feel vulnerable and frail. The drugs were literally killing the cells in her body, and the side effects were brutal. Even moving her arm felt like being stabbed multiple times.

Even in the supposedly resting period like the one she’s in now, the weakness, and the pain is still there. And the fact that she wants to vomit now is not helping her either.

Seungwan tries once again, reaching the bed console and luckily this time, she managed to press the button. Slowly, her bed adjusted to a 45-degree angle.

Wendy scanned the dimly lit room, The only sound that filled the air was the faint, constant beeping of her heart rate monitor.

Suddenly, something catches her attention, she found Seulgi sleeping on the couch with only her coat draping her body as her blanket, Seulgi’s body curled up like a shrimp, indicating that her best friend was cold.

***

2 Years ago

Two years ago, in the middle of the night, Seungwan stirred awake, her body feeling like a complete mess. It was the first cycle of her chemotherapy, and she was going through the side effects but at least she was able to move around. It was the first cycle of her chemotherapy.

Seungwan wanted need to use the bathroom, so she slowly gets off the bed and slowly walks through the big VIP room while guiding her IV Stand.

Suddenly, the young novelist hears a soft sneeze.

*Achoo*

“Is someone here?” she asks asked, but there was no response.

*Achoo* another sneeze.

Curious, she wandered around the dimly lit room, trying to find who was sneezing. The small bedside lamp beside her bed was the only source of light. The rest of the room remained in darkness, making it hard for Seungwan to see clearly.

*Achoo*

Then, there it was. She found the culprit—her best friend, Seulgi, curled up like a shrimp, sleeping on the small sofa in the sitting area of her room. As Seungwan approached the sofa, her heart grew heavy with emotions. Each step seemed to draw forth a tear until she found herself crouching in front of Seulgi.

Seungwan felt devastated, seeing Seulgi sleeping like this, because of her, because this dumb bear made a promise to her.

"Seungwan-ah, I'll be there with you, I'll always be there, every single moment you are in, you'll find me there with you, cross my heart," Seulgi had vowed.

Seulgi looked so small, and this makes Seungwan heart filled with guilt

“I make her do this, she’s like this because of me” She blamed herself.

The young novelist starts to sob, and every second her sob becomes louder, waking up the sleeping bear.

“Wan?” Seulgi asked, her voice filled with confusion and concern as she stirred awake. She couldn't understand why her best friend, who was supposed to be resting in bed, was now crying in front of her.

“Why, Sseul? Why?” Seungwan mumbled between her tears.

“Wan-ah? What happened? Why are you crying? What are you talking about?” Seulgi tried to comfort her.

“Why are you doing this?” Seungwan's sobs intensified, “Why do you have to do all this for me?”

Seulgi was taken aback, but seeing Seungwan crying so heartbreakingly, she couldn't help but cry too. She gently embraced the young novelist, tears welling up in her own eyes.

“Why do you do all of these things for me?” Seungwan asked, her voice trembling with emotion.

Then, something clicked in Seulgi's mind, and she realized that Seungwan was feeling guilty.

“Because you’d do the same for me, because you have done the same for me” Seulgi explained, her own tears flowing freely.

“There is no way in hell that I’m not going to do the same for you,” Seulgi declared as she hugged her best friend tightly.

Seulgi held her best friend tightly, her words unspoken but deeply felt within her heart. "You’ve done the same for me, Wan-ah, you have done the same for me, even more than you know. Even if you don’t remember it, I remember. If not for you and your dad all those years ago, I’m not sure if I’d still be alive in this world. So I make a promise to you, to God, I will protect you, just like you protected me all those years ago," Seulgi vowed silently.

And that is the first and last time Seungwan cried in front of Seulgi.

***

Pang

Those Memories came back in full force to Seungwan, making the young novelist's heart once again, filled with guilt. Seungwan never thinks that she will see this particular scene again, because as strong as she is, Seulgi is one of her weaknesses.

Seungwan always feels familiar with Seulgi, even when they’re just met, like there is a connection that makes the Young novelist feel safe and comfortable around the bear.

So for Seungwan to see her bear in the same situation as 2 years ago, Seungwan started to sob quietly in her bed, afraid of waking up her best friend.

While the young novelist is still crying, The door to her room suddenly opens and Irene enters quietly to do her hourly check-up. The young professor doesn’t announce her entrance because she thinks that Seungwan is still asleep and the last time she checks, which is an hour ago, there is no one in the room other than Seungwan.

So when Irene enters the room, the young professor was shocked to see the young novelist sobbing quietly while looking at her best friend.

Seulgi must’ve come here half an hour ago and decided to sleep here to make sure that if anything happened to Wendy, she was there for her. Irene thinks.

Seungwan seemed to doesn’t notice the young professor's presence yet, and Irene start to ponder whether she should get out of the room and give the young novelist some time and come back later, or try and console the young novelist.

But seeing Seungwan cried for the first time evoked something inside the young professor, perhaps it’s the doctor-patient bond where Irene feels responsible to the young novelist and more involved in Seungwan’s life, or maybe it’s because of their friendship that starts blooming, Irene is not sure.

But one thing that Irene knows for sure: Seeing the young novelist covering her face with her hand, sobbing quietly, she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t like it at all.

In the end, Irene chose to try and console Seungwan. The young professor began quietly approaching Seungwan and then slowly but surely, she place Seungwan's head in her chest and then she hugged her properly.

The young novelist was taken aback at first, as she felt her head being hugged to someone's chest and a warm arm started to wrap around her body, and she find solace there. She lifts her head, only to see Irene looking at her, so soft, so gentle that Seungwan starts to sob even more.

Irene's gaze felt like she was telling her that “everything is okay, you can trust me, you’re safe with me” so for the first time ever, Seungwan allowed herself to show how vulnerable she is to someone other than Seulgi.

Irene doesn’t say nor ask anything, she is just there and hugged the young novelist quietly, which Seungwan is thankful for. At that moment, Seungwan realized how much she needed to cry, to be hugged, and to be consoled. She realized that she wasn't as strong as she had always believed. She was human, and like anyone else, she could have her moments of breakdown and vulnerability.

That night, Irene hugged the young novelist to sleep. And also in that exact moment, Irene saw how vulnerable the young novelist is and how she hated seeing the young novelist crying.

***

9 am.

Seungwan woke up and fortunately, her body felt much better than when she woke up in the middle of the night earlier. She adjusted her bed, and then grab a glass of water from the water jug on her bedside table.

Another thing about Chemotherapy is you can never know how your body will react, sometimes you can’t even move your finger, and other times you feel perfectly fine when actually you are in the most vulnerable state of the procedure.

The young novelist scans the room, finding no one in the room except herself.

Seulgi must’ve left earlier go to to the company

“I need to use the bathroom” Seungwan mumbled, speaking to herself.

So the young novelist slowly gets out of bed then she guides her IV stand and slowly walked to the bathroom. Once she’s done doing her business, the young novelist stands in front of the mirror in the sink, she took a good look at herself.

I Looked like a total mess She thinks to herself.

Her eyes looked puffy, courtesy of her sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of the night because of the bear. Speaking of crying, Seungwan remembers how Irene hugged her, how warm it feels to be in the young professor's embrace, and how she could hear the young professor’s heartbeat. She felt warmth.

I Should say thank you to Irene

The young novelist then wash her face in the sink, until she notices something, and a couple of her hair starts to fall to the sink. Seungwan stared at the strand of her hair before she looked at the mirror once again, and then she started to touch her head, grabbing her hand softly.

When she brought her hand down, she had a fair amount of hair in her hands. Again, she stared at her hand for a moment before softly smiling.