***

11:30 pm, Toronto, Canada.

Seungwan, Joohyun, and Yerim had landed just 10 minutes ago, and now they were inside the car that Seulgi had prepared. As usual, Seulgi had already arranged for a driver who was waiting for them upon arrival. As soon as they stepped off the plane, they were escorted to the waiting car, and their baggage was efficiently taken care of.

The young novelist is so used to this treatment from his best friend that she doesn’t even feel strange anymore. Every single trip, with or without her food-loving bear, would always be like this. Sure sometimes the young novelist would buy the ticket for both of them, but often times than not, all expenses of the trip will be from the young manager.

Well, of course, it’s not a secret that Seungwan knew that her bear was rich and this was maybe nothing for her although she never knew where the money came from. Aside from that, Seulgi is also her manager so…

While I don’t know where she got her money, I can’t deny that she is so meticulous about our trips. Yoksi, There is a reason why she’s my manager after all.

“Wellcome Ms. Son, Ms. Bae. I will be your concierge for the rest of your stay here.” The elderly man who sits in the driver's seat. The man looked like a nice and warm person, and considering his age, he seemed to be full of energy. Something that, ironically, Seungwan is envy of.

“I will take Ms. Bae and her sister to the Marriot Hotel first, and after that, I will take Ms. Son to her house in Welter Court.” The driver informed the passengers inside the car.

“Huh? We’re not going to sleep at Seungwan unnie’s house?” the young Bae asked her two unnies.

“No Yerim-ah, we’re going to sleep at the Marriot hotel for tonight, I’m sure Seungwan wants to meet her family first, we’re going to visit her tomorrow after lunch. Isn’t that right, uhh… Mr?”

“Ah, pardon me for forgetting to introduce myself. It’s the age,” He chuckled lightly, warming the atmosphere of the car. 

“It’s Ethan, ma’am. And yes, I will pick you up at the hotel at 1 pm after picking up Ms. Kang from the airport, you will go to Ms. Son’s house together with Ms. Kang.” the driver explained.

“Hmm, okay, it’s a pity, but okay” The young Bae responded, which earned a light chuckle from her unnies.

“It’s okay Yerim-ah, we will meet again tomorrow,” the young novelist appeased the young Bae.

Yerim is really attached to the young novelist!

“Shall we go now, Ms Son?” 

“Yes please”

*

As the car glided through the city streets, the young novelist's gaze automatically fixated on the window, unconsciously drawn to the ever-so-familiar cityscape. The city lights twinkled against the calm backdrop, painting a serene and beautiful picture. Her city, her home. 

“Home, I didn’t realize how I missed this city,” she whispered softly.

Memories of the last time she had visited Canada and her family three years ago slowly played in her mind. And truth be told, there is no doubt that there is a hint of guilt inside the young novelist's heart, quietly gnawing on her consciousness.

Guilt for not coming back home for a long time, 

Guilt for not spending time with them, 

Guilt for not telling them the truth.

As she continued to admire the city, Bittersweet feelings suddenly washed over the young novelist. The realization that this trip may just be the last time she’s going to be able to visit her hometown suddenly put an insurmountable weight on her heart.

While it is true that, because of a certain someone, Seungwan might actually start to wish for a bit more time. Deep inside, she knows that she wants to have a bit more time. But that doesn’t mean that the young novelist forgot about her reality. She knew well more than anyone that her body could give up on her at any given time and she had to be ready for it.

Well, imagine knowing that this may just be your last visit to the place where you gained your first memories, the place where you spent your childhood, the place where you spent the better part of your life, and the only place that you can call home for as long as you can remember. 

A farewell trip. 

The feeling is overwhelming and daunting, even for Seungwan. So much so that she almost choked with the realization. She almost cried.

It was at moments like this, when the realization hit her straight in the gut, cruelly reminding her that everything may be the last time, that Seungwan felt scared, lonely, and sad.

Yes… it doesn’t matter how strong Seungwan looks, or how much façade she tries to show, she is still just a human after all. She is still just a normal girl who wants a normal life. She can feel scared from time to time, and she is.

While her mind is busy fighting its own battle, it seems like the young novelist's heart also has something to say on its own.

You need her, you realized that right?, the young novelist's heart mockingly said.

Her eyes also had unconsciously settled on the young professor. She didn’t know when she started to stare at the young professor and yet here she was, it felt like her body knew that the woman beside her could provide her with some sense of comfort.

Even my own body is betraying me now! She thought bitterly.

However, deep down inside her, part of Seungwan knows that her heart is right. That she indeed needed the young professor. 

There was an unspoken comfort in knowing that Joohyun was nearby, She doesn’t know how or why, but just being close to the young professor provided her with a sense of security and reassurance that she desperately needed.

Her gaze, her words, hell, even just her presence alone made the young novelist start to believe that everything would ultimately be okay.

And this exact feeling is what Seungwan is most scared of.

It used to

After grounding herself back to reality after her short abstraction, the young novelist noticed that Joohyun and Yerim had both fallen asleep. The young professor's head leaned on the window, while Yerim’s head rested on her sister's shoulders.

They seemed so peaceful,

Unnie, Yerimie, how can I possibly hurt you guys? I can’t, I don’t want to, I really don’t. But I’m sorry because eventually, I will. 

You said that you won’t be hurt, but, in honesty, no one in this world will not be hurt if left by the person they care about, won’t they? 

Because I will, I will be hurt.

Seungwan sighed heavily.

The thing is, I’m not good enough, 

I am not nearly worthy enough for you two to make both of you heartbroken when I leave.

So please forgive me, but I need to lie, I just hope that… I hope I don’t break your heart too much.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s better that we shouldn't have met in the first place.

*

1 am

“We’re here Ms. Son,” The driver informed before getting out of the car. He then proceeded to open the Young Nove