Chapter 8

Can't

Jaemi couldn’t force herself to go to sleep even that was what she told Yunho. She just kept tossing and turning on her bed, thinking of ways to get rid of her bubbling crush to a wrong person. She counted sheep and sang lots of lullabies, she even recited the multiplication table backwards but nothing helped. Sleep was on vacation for her so she decided to just talk to her friend back in the Philippines thru video chat. And at the time, Jaemi was sure that Lou was still awake, simply because smart people sleep late.

“Lou!”  A sigh of relief was released and Jaemi was thankful that her friend was still online. She looked like an idiot waving at the laptop but who cares? She was alone in that room and missed her friend so badly so she will do whatever.

“Oh, hello there, Jaemi Matagumpay. How’s life?” Lou said through the other line as she arranged her glasses trying to get a clear view of her friend.

“Not good, Lou. I made a stupid mistake,” Jaemi started.

“All mistakes are stupid,” Lou countered that made Jaemi groan in frustration.

“I know, that’s why I’m telling you this. I don’t know what came to me. I just froze in front of him, Lou. I froze like I’ve seen a star or something!”

Lou raised one eyebrow. “Enlighten me.”

And Jaemi did. They both went silent after. None of them spoke a word and the silence was nerve wracking for Jaemi. If there was one person who know a lot about her, that would be Lou. They trust each other and the opinion of each other are like advice from heaven that is so precious not to follow. One conclusion was made by Lou, although Jaemi was expecting it since her friend was also smart, she still couldn’t help but feel embarrassed.

“You have a crush on Jung Yunho.”

Boom.

“Jaemi.”

Silence.

“Jaemi Matagumpay, I can still see you on the screen so say a word. You have a crush on that guy.” Lou was close to shouting. Fortunately the walls in that room were thick and everyone was asleep.

“Is… is it a bad thing?” Jaemi commented, confirmed nothing but Lou was beyond amazed by her answer.

“Oh my goodness, Jaemi. Are you saying that you really have a crush on him?”

“This is so high school, Lou. I’m too old for this kind of stuff,” Jaemi defended herself but she knew that it was hopeless because it was Lou who said it. She looked away from the laptop and found that the pillow on her bed was quite interesting that moment. “I don’t have a crush on that guy,” she murmured afterwards.

“Well technically, you’re still in high school if you didn’t skip all those grades,” Lou sighed and smiled. She knew Jaemi all too well and she also knew that everything was weird to her because they just met each other and considering Yunho’s status in the society which Lou was sure that Jaemi was still clueless about. “There’s nothing wrong if you’re crushing on h-“

“No! Everything is wrong. This is wrong. I’m not supposed to feel this way!” Jaemi cut in, still denying the fact that she was smitten by the DBSK’s leader.

“You’re not the only one Jaemi, what you’re feeling right now is normal and you’re not the only one who has that feeling, there are eight hundred thousand of you.”

“Huh? W-what?”

Lou smiled, and if she was near her friend, she would’ve patted her head and gave her a hug. And the statistics began.

“Jung Yunho is from the group DBSK. I’m sure you know that already. DBSK stands for Dong Bang Shin Ki or Rising gods of the east. They are famous in Japan as Tohoshinki. It’s a five-member group and currently the Guinness book of world record holder of the biggest fan club in the world. Jaemi, their fanclub has 800 000 registered members, solely in Korea. So what you’re feeling right now is purely admiration. Nothing deep so you don’t have to panic.” Jaemi just listened while Lou stated what she found out about the man who made her knees weak. “There are 800 000 thousand,” Lou repeated to give emphasis to the figure. “800 000 are having the same feeling as you are now. The only difference is that you are with him and those fans were from afar.”

It was the time for Jaemi to talk. “That’s exactly the point, Lou. That’s exactly it! He’s just next door or to put it simply, I’m using his room now, his bed and his pillows whatsoever! I live in his house! It makes all the difference! We just went out earlier and I made the stupid mistake of freezing in front of him. He even carried me in his arms and heaven knows how I nearly had a heart attack. And a while ago, I hugged him. I hugged him for the second time like it was the most natural thing for me to do!” Jaemi lamented breathlessly.

“You sound like it’s more than a crush.” Lou’s eyes widened, in worry. If that was the case, it was indeed a real problem.

Jaemi was about to say something but froze midway as what Lou said finally sank in. It was more than a crush. She knew it. The way her heart skip a beat, the way her knees grow weak whenever he was near. Jaemi knew it and the Filipina was thankful that she found it out earlier because that feeling can’t grow. It was wrong.

“Lou… I don’t want this,” Jaemi said, close to tears. It was a mixture and fear and guilt she was feeling at that moment. It was so intense that she wanted to go out and shout. “It can’t be.”

“Yes, Jaemi. You can’t love him and he can’t love you. Those fans won’t allow it.”

“I know.” A tear fell. Jaemi couldn’t figure out if it was from the fact that Yunho can’t love or the other reason that was holding her back…

“And you have a boyfriend.”

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A/N:

I know it’s short but everything will progress from here. I have to reread By Hook and by Crook once again to make sure that it’s in the proper flow since everything happened when Saki rejected Yunho and chose to date Junsu instead. Yeah… for those who read By Hook you know what I’m talking about, But for those who haven’t yet…. It’s okay… You don’t have to read it to fully understand the fic... But I suggest you do because I love By Hook… And it’s my favourite among the series. ^.^

aejae22

By Chance