I opened my eyes and found myself lying in my bed, my head hurt like hell and my eyes burned from so much crying. I couldn’t remember what happened and how I got into my room, and just when I was about to start thinking about everything that had happen a loud voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Unnie!!!” Nana said while running towards me to embrace me into a really tight hug. “You are finally awake, unnie. You made me really worried” she said with a concerned face and reflecting sadness in her beautiful eyes.

“I’m sorry if I worried you, I didn’t mean for this to happen” I said while caressing her face. “But….” I said, trying to remember what happen. “What time is it?” I asked “It’s 12 o’clock, you have slept the hole day” Nana said and I just nodded. “How did I end up in my room?” I asked her, wondering if the girls saw my most awful state after my fi…argument with Jung ah, since it cannot be considered a fight because I never got the chance to fight back. I still can see that look in her face and hear the harsh tone on her voice; just by remembering that awful event made my eyes start forming tears, even when I thought that there were no more tears for me to shed.

“Unnie” Nana whined as she was also starting to cry, which brought me back to reality. “I hate to see you like this…” she said while hugging me “…please don’t cry, I want for you to smile and come back to your old self” she told me with pleading eyes. She stared at me for a while trying to find the source of my pain in order to heal those awful wounds, and because of the sincerity in her eyes a smile could form in my mouth, and for the first time I could forget about the reason of my pain for a while.  

“Thanks” I managed to said, sobbing a little bit since I was trying to compose myself. “Don’t worry about me, al--eo? I’m not going to cry anymore” I assured her, trying to give her my best smile.

“Al--eo unnie!” she said, jumping happily because of my statement. “However” I interrupted her “you never answer my question, how on earth did I end up in my room?”

“Well…” she started saying while scratching her head in a really cute way. “Oh right!!” she exclaimed, jumping excited in the bed. To be honest her childhood behavior was somehow relaxing. “After you left, I started to worry about you since you were acting really strange…” she began to say, having her smile slowly disappearing and turning into a sad expression “…and because after an hour you didn’t come back, I went to search for you. However, I found you lying on the floor of the bathroom sobbing, as if your dreams were really painful…”she said while her eyes started to form tears once again, as if remembering my state was hurting her pretty badly.

Seeing her like that really broke my heart. I didn’t realize that this conflict with Jung ah will affect the girls as well, how many people will suffer because of this stupid feeling of mine? And therefore, out of impulse I kissed Nana’s cheek and caress it with my thumb, hoping that this action will somehow comfort her and let her know that I was ok now.  However, my sudden action shocked her a little bit, but she immediately responded with her famous eye smile and once again she hugged me really tight.

We stayed in my room for a while, without saying a word, just the two of us embraced in a warm hug. But then my stomach started to ask for food since the last time I ate was the afternoon of the day before. We left the room to go to the kitchen and grab something to eat, but as soon as I step out of my room all the girls came running to me and embrace me in a massive bear hug. And even thought I couldn’t breathe, I felt really blessed that I had such an amazing family that was there for me even in the darkest times.

We spend all our time together since the manager gave us the day free to rest and recover from the incident of the day before. Therefore me and the kids took advantage of the situation and talked for hours, recovering the time we haven’t spent together because of our different schedules. Finally the night came and I told all the girls to go to sleep since the next day we had to wake up early and recover the practice we missed that day.   

All of the girls stood up and left to their respective rooms, except for Nana who stayed helping me to clean all the mess we did that day. However I knew that the real reason for her to stay was that she didn’t want to let me alone after all that happened, and that made me be really grateful to have a “daughter” like her.

Once we finished cleaning I told her to go to sleep while I was walking towards my room to do the same, however she just stood there without moving, making me walk towards her to find out what was going on. I stood in front of her while she was looking at the floor without saying a word, making me grab her chin gently so she could face me. And just like the other times, the look on her face shocked me; there was something in her eyes that cannot be described, it just left me breathless.

“Unnie?” She said, making me leave the trance I was in. I could feel how my checks turned bright red, if she didn’t uttered a word I could have stare at her for hours. “Nana, is everything alright?” I managed to ask her, trying so hard to not stutter. “Ne…” she started saying “… I was just wondering if…” she then lowered her voice making it sound like a whisper “…if I could sleep with you tonight?” she asked me, like a kid afraid of the dark. And now it was her turn to blush, making me chuckle because of her attitude. I mean one moment she has this mature and attractive look in her eyes and the next she acts like a lost kid.

“Unnie!” she whined “why are you laughing’!” she said with a small and cute pout. “I’m sorry” I said, trying to control my laughter. “You are just too cute” I said while kissing her cheek. However, this time I left my lips a little bit longer on her cheek, allowing me to perceive the softness of her skin.

As I part myself from her I could see how red her whole face was. “I…”she tried to say “I’m going to get my pajamas” and then she left me, dashing to her room. “Cute” I said inside my head.

I went inside my room and sat at the edge of my bed, thinking that tomorrow I will see her again. How on earth was I going to approach her after what happened? Is she going to apologize? Is everything going to be alright or…

My thoughts were interrupted by Nana, who silently approached me and sat next to me. “Unnie, gwaenchanh?” she asked, again concerned by my attitude. “I’m okay Nana, just a little bit tired” I said trying to convince her that everything was going to be alright, but to be honest I couldn’t believe it myself. “Let’s sleep…” I said while getting inside the covers “…because tomorrow it’s going to be a new beginning”

“Don’t worry unnie” Nana told me while getting under the covers as well “no matter what happens…” she said while snuggling with me “…just remember that I’m right here next to you, whenever you need me” and with that she felt sleep. However that sentence made me remember Jung ah even more, since she said the exact same thing to me before. And now I cannot help to wonder where is she when my world is falling apart. I’m not ready to let her go, but I guess there is no turning back now.