i thought this period was going

to be dotted only when one of

us closes their eyes.

—

Brian was not as oblivious as he appeared to be, or rather as his older brother believed him to be.

Once upon a time, little Brian looked up to Eric in every aspect, from his older brother’s impressive academic achievements to his persistent (but impressive) fight against all odds in order to pursue his dream. When their parents had been adamant on refusing to let Eric go after his dream, Brian had been silently supporting his older brother all along. He had seen the way Eric had broken down in tears then, from frustration or dejection, he was too young to understand, but he knew one thing: Eric was the strongest person he has ever known. Even when he had caught his older brother crying the night before, Brian would find him getting up the next day looking as though nothing had happened, and silently went through another day doing exactly what their parents wanted him to do without putting up a fight against them. 

At that young age, he had learned another thing about Eric: he was selfless; he would put everyone else before himself even when he was longing for something else.

When Eric was finally able to go after his dream, Brian had kept up with all of his brother’s works. Whether or not he’d openly acknowledged it when asked, Brian did actually watched and remembered everything and every show his brother had done. Which was how he vividly remembered the exact moment Eric had fallen in love with his virtual bride, or those few moments where he could clearly see through the screen just how much his older brother was in deep, deep . 

Hey, he was also an alumni of Columbia University, he wasn’t stupid. He noticed everything, and he knew his brother better than anyone else. He knew that Eric, despite having always appeared nonchalant and optimistic in front of them, was honestly very close to his breaking points. Behind those walls of false nonchalance and sheer dumb mask of strong self-independence, Brian knew his brother was scared. Not for himself, no, anyone who thought Eric was scared about something for himself definitely did not know him enough. He was scared for her. The one thing Brian had learned about his brother was that he would go the extreme lengths to protect those he loves, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness. 

But for someone so supposedly nonchalant, Eric was one hell of a cautious man as well. He was a calculated man, and he refused to act on his impulses so even when Brian could clearly see the way he was so terribly eager to whisk his phone out and call her, Eric would rather tossed his phone away and buried himself once again in works, spilling those longing feelings into lyrics that he would probably spend another three years pondering on whether to release them or not. 

Brian desperately wanted to help his brother out, but the man was as stubborn as a mule, and he didn’t quite personally know Solar enough to contact her. He thought even if he did, he doubt they would even be able to understand one another with how his current level of Korean was. 

Tentatively, the younger man approached his older brother and plopped down onto the couch opposite from him. He contemplated rubbing his hands together to ease his nerves, but he decided against it and brought his cup of Iced Americano to his lips instead to appear natural. “Hey, so I was on Twitter the other day,” he started, “well, I didn’t purposely look for it, but I sort of just came across it, really, someone shared it and probably mentioned you so it sort of just appeared on my feed as well—”

“Get to the point, Brian,” Eric interjected, eyes fixed on the screen of his iPad. Brian’s rambling was no longer a strange occurrence on daily basis, and he had learned to multitask by listening to his brother’s rambles and reading his interview script simultaneously so he wouldn’t waste time. 

“I saw that. She, uh, said she’s open to have you join her on her Youtube channel.”

That, however, did finally get Eric to look up from his iPad. He stared at his younger brother, watching as Brian stared at him almost expectantly. “I know,” Eric settled on his respond after a short seconds of silence, before he returned his gazes back to his gadget’s screen in an attempt to avoid eye contacts with his brother. 

The younger man stared gobsmacked. “You know? Then why— dude, she invited you herself! She literally defended you in public, and said she’s cool about it, and honestly, do you know how much exposure you both could get from that—”

This time Eric sighed and looked straight into his brother’s eyes. The younger man went quiet instantly. “Brian, I am not using her or what she has worked hard for as an exposure for my own personal gains. Can’t you remember? It was that desires for exposure that pushed us both to do that show, and it was what started this whole mess in the first place.”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” Brian said, scowling lightly in frustration. “I’m not talking about that kind of exposure. Hell, I can’t read Korean very well, but I do know what they’ve been saying about you online, calling you a clout-chaser for just mentioning her name—”

“That’s because that was not just written in Korean,” Eric muttered under his breath. 

Brian only rolled his eyes. “The point is, I’m talking about the exposure that would make both of your fans and her fans finally learn to accept seeing you two interacting together like normal human beings, and not like one of you are the corona virus ready to kill the other person upon contact.” 

Eric did snorted at that. “Like corona virus? That’s one way to put it.” When his brother still seemed to scowl at him, Eric sighed the second time that afternoon and went back to pretend he was focused on reading through his interview script. “You don’t understand, Brian. Whether or not I take up on her invitation to join her on her channel, the hostility between our fandoms would never changed. It would be better to just… let things die down on its own without aggravating it any further.”

Brian said nothing. He only sat and stared at his brother for a few moments longer before he sighed and quietly got up to tend to his own works. 

Eric watched his brother disappeared into his working corner. Brian had tried, but some matters were just impossible to tackle on, no matter the approach. 

Of course Eric knew about her invitation, she hadn’t just say it in a public livestream, she had even sent him a message that he still had yet to open in fear of having it marked as seen. His finger lingered over her name in his chat list, contemplating whether to open the one-week-old message or not when his phone screen flashed and alerted an incoming call.

Yongddongie