The prompt for this was the following: "Moonsun dated for a while but broke up bc Solar couldn't stand the fear of being found out but one day a fellow male idol asks her out in front of Byul. She hesitantly says yes but turns him down during the date and goes to Byul's home afterwards to get back together".  

-

You knew this would happen, sooner or later. You just wish it hadn’t happened in front of her.

You were discussing your next engagement when he approached you, barely paying any attention to your colleague sitting right there.

Before you had time to process where the conversation was going, a question had been asked. And an answer had been given.

You can’t help but glance at her as he asks you whether you like French fusion cuisine, no doubt feeling smug about his choice of restaurant.

She’s politely waiting for him to leave, keeping busy with her phone – or, at least, pretending to. But you know her too well, and the torment in her eyes can’t possibly hail from her racing game.

You’re not listening to a word he is saying anymore. “I’ll see you Friday night, then?,” you cut the conversation short, hoping he gets the hint. He does. He smiles charmingly before going back to the party, back to s.

Your eyes follow him for a second. s are cheering and patting him on his back. It’s like he just won a prize or something. You are wondering whether you should be feeling offended, when she interrupts your train of thought.

“I’m gonna go find the girls,” she announces, disappearing in the crowd before you can say anything to her.

But – what is there to say, anyway.

-

You’ve had entirely too much to drink, the lights in the club are starting to give you a headache and you can’t find your members anywhere. It’s been a long night and you want to go home. You’ll see them tomorrow at the company anyway.

You say bye to everyone and head out, pondering whether to call a cab or just walk home. The cold air of this icy winter might be just what you need to clear your mind. And to sober up.

You spot the three of them sitting on the sidewalk, shuffled close together, heads bent low. They don’t notice you as you step closer. She is sitting in the middle, her face in her hands, sobbing in that way she sobs when she’s trying hard to stop crying – and failing. The last time you’ve heard those sobs coming from her… you don’t want to think about that night.

Wheein and Hyejin are on either side of her, their arms on her back and shoulders, holding her close, arranging their bodies so that she’s protected from the wind and from the eyes of passers-by.

You wish you could be with them, looking after her, caring for her. But you are the reason she is hurting, so you can’t be the one to fix it. Or maybe you wish you could sit on that sidewalk and cry your heart out too, feeling the warmth of your friends’ love for you, at least. But you are the bad guy here, and you don’t deserve that.

So maybe the wisest thing for you to do right now is just to turn back on your heels, before any of them sees you, and take the long way home.

But your resolve comes a little too late. Hyejin’s eyes meet yours. The other two turn their heads too – her sobs stopping in surprise – to see what Hyejin’s looking at. They’ve all seen you now.

She puts her hands back on her face again immediately – you know why, she doesn’t want you to see her like this. The glimpse of her face that you do manage to catch is enough to break whatever is left of your heart.

“Unnie, maybe it’s better if you... uhm…,” you hear Hyejin say. You know she’s struggling to find a kind way to tell you to off and leave them alone. But you have to say something to her. You simply have to.

“If I had said no to him,” your voice cracks, and you realize you’re crying too. “What would be the point?”

Her voice is tremulous, muffled by her hands and by car noises. You’re surprised it reaches you at all. “I understand.”

“But I am sorry you had to be there for that.” You try to dry your tears with the back of your hand.

“I understand,” she repeats. Her sobbing resumes; you take a deep breath and regain composure.

“Take her home, please?” You address the girls. They nod.

“Are you gonna be ok?” Hyejin asks, her eyes full of concern. You nod.

They both give you sorrowful smiles as they keep her back. We love you, Wheein mouths.

-

By Friday night, the icy wind has subsided. But the air is still way too chilly. He’s waiting for you outside, his eyes widening in appreciation as he sees you in your best winter coat - and the y blue dress underneath.

He pulls a bouquet of blue roses from behind his back. You both laugh in surprise at how closely they match the color of your dress.

“A match made in heaven,” he smiles gallantly as you walk towards his car.

“Do they have a meaning?,” you ask, admiring the flowers. “I’ve never seen them before.”

He opens the car door for you and makes sure you’re comfortable. You tell him to go ahead, you can close it yourself – but he insists. When he’s finally in the driver’s seat, he answers your question.

“You haven’t seen them before because they’re artificial, they don’t exist in nature. And, they symbolize attaining the impossible.” He smiles at you, his eyes flirty, almost predatory . “Because I didn’t think you would ever go out with me, Yongsun.”

How weird. She said the exact same thing to you, once, but in such a different tone. It was a long time ago.

You smile back awkwardly, hoping he doesn’t catch your embarrassment. You’re not sure he has quite attained you yet, anyway. But he doesn’t need to know that.

-

:: Today’s the hottest day of the year, you hear the newscaster say on TV as you lay motionless on the floor, trying to absorb its coolness, waiting for Byulyi to get out of the bathroom so you can finally leave this burning hell of a rooftop apartment.

When she finally emerges, your first reaction is to widen your eyes in appreciation – but then, you immediately moan in protest at the sight.

“Not fair! We had agreed – no makeup and no dressing up! I’m only wearing shorts and this old tank top! It’s way too hot for that and you’re way too pretty!”

She lets out a silvery, amused laugh, twirling in her red summer dress. “It’ll throw people off! Nobody knows us, and if we don’t match, nobody will think we’re on a date. Besides, you could wear a bin bag and you’d still be stunning.”

“Aigoo, Byul-ah, so greasy! Come on, let’s go,” you outstretch your arm for her to lift you off the floor. “I don’t care whether we’re going to McDonald’s or KFC, just take me some place that has AC. You’re buying, right?”

“Just because I’m so happy we’re finally doing this. I didn’t think you would ever go out with me, Yong. Like, on a proper date, out of the apartment.” She smiles at you, her eyes so honest and so incredibly bright that you can’t possibly doubt what she feels for you. “But from next time, we’re splitting the bill.”

You pretend to be annoyed at her, but you know that she knows that you’re happy you’re finally doing this, too.::

-

The restaurant is probably one of the fanciest places you’ve ever been to. And you’ve eaten at a lot of fancy places. It looks chic and traditional at the same time. You’re especially impressed by the intricately decorated wrought iron tables and chairs, and by the glass roof allowing you to see the sky.

As much as you like it, you have to admit that, with all this iron and glass, the place looks and feels kind of cold. But when you finally sit down, you notice there’s a small tabletop fireplace on your table.

Perfect. You compliment his choice of restaurant, smiling at him. He smiles back.

“So, have you had Brazilian fusion food before?,” he asks you. You say you haven’t, so he proceeds to tell you all about the experiences he had with foreign tastes when he was traveling in South America, the good and the bad.

You laugh. He’s a decent storyteller. You don’t have much to add except for oohs, aahs and the occasional question, but he doesn’t seem to mind. The iron chair are pretty uncomfortable, but it’s a good thing because it grounds you into the situation. You try not to get too distracted, even if you could probably get away with it.

You are both enjoying your hors d'œuvres. Or rather, you are enjoying your hors d'oeuvre – and reminiscing, in spite of yourself – while he goes on and on about his summer in Switzerland.

He’s telling you about that time he ate too much fondue and regretted it later, when you hear commotion coming from the rest of the people in the restaurant.

He realizes he doesn’t have your full attention and looks around to see what is happening. You both look around – everyone is looking up, so you do too.

Snow is falling heavily from the dark sky and slowly piling up on the glass roof of the restaurant. You can’t help but be awed.

“You look so beautiful, Yongsun.” He puts down your fork and takes your hand. You flinch before you can control yourself.

“You… you look great, too,” you say awkwardly, cringing at what you just know in your bones he’s going to say next.

He doesn’t disappoint. “You know what people say about the first snow of the year, right?”

what people say.

How could you have forgotten? Why are you here?

-

:: You end up having burgers and sharing a portion of fries a random fast food joint. There’s a weird stain on one of the booth seats, but you don’t mind because it means you get to sit right under the AC – and right next to her.

“It feels so good to finally be somewhere cool,” you say, fanning yourself with your own tank top. “I was so hot.”

“You’ll always be hot, wherever you are, in every season of the year,” she smirks.

“Aigoo, Byul-ah!” Again, you pretend to cringe, but you both know she has your full attention and adoration. Which she reflects back on you.

She asks you a million questions. “Tell me, how was your friend’s birthday party yesterday?”

And then, as you finish your burgers, “what do you think happened with that Malaysian Airlines plane?”

And then, as you order milkshakes to go, “how’s your sister?”

And then, as you finally leave the joint when the staff start subtly signalling that you’ve overstayed your welcome, “if you could pick a superpower, what would it be?”

You’re out again in the sultry heat, sweating profusely as you walk and chatting happily. You are watching her with rapt attention, hanging on her every word. Her laugh is mesmerizing and you can’t look away.

Until you suddenly feel a raindrop falling on your face. And then another. And then another.

You both jump when you hear thunder – and just like that, you’re caught in a violent summer storm.

She takes your hand, her eyes twinkling with mirth. “RUN!”

And you do, until you reach your building. Soaked and delighted, you laugh all the way up the stairs to your rooftop apartment.

“I love spending time with you, Byul-ah. Just the two of us, out and about.” You plant a quick kiss on her lips, her wet hair.

“Me too,” she sighs. “I wish we could do it more often. More freely.”

As you get out of your wet clothes and into one of her oversized t-shirts, you ask her a question of your own.

“Why are we even in this situation? How on earth can people say what we have is wrong?”

She looks at you like you haven’t just asked the one question that has shaped your relationship so far and you both know will keep shaping it in your future.

She shrugs. “ what people say.” ::

-

“You know what people say about the first snow of the year, right?”

“… yeah – look, this is great, but it’s not really working for me. I’m sorry. I have to go.” You push your chair away from the table abruptly, the whole restaurant turning their heads at the screech the iron makes against the floor.

“Wait – wha – Yongsun, why? We’re having a great time!”

“I know – you’re great, it’s nothing to do with you, you’re really great, but I need to call a cab, I’m sorry.”

You don’t even look at him, rummaging through your bag for your phone and wallet.

“Let me take you home, at least,” he says, astonished by your change of demeanor, so sudden in his eyes.

“No, no, look, I insist – I wasted your time tonight, the least I can do is pay the bill and get a cab. Please.”

The blue roses lay abandoned on the chair.

-

You ring her doorbell, hoping she will answer. You’ll go check at the company if she’s not here – but you’d rather her being home, so that the take out you got doesn’t get cold.

You hear footsteps, and then the click of the door finally opening. She’s bare faced, barefoot, wearing tracksuit pants and a hoodie. She looks so small. You take off your heels so you are at the same level. “May I come in?”

She rubs her eyes like she can’t believe you’re actually there. “I thought you were supposed to be out tonight."

“I was.”

“Did something happen?”

“Sort of – may I come in?”

“Are you ok?”

“Yes – may I come in, please? I’m getting cold.”

“Why did you take off your shoes?” She finally moves aside so you can enter her home. “Where is he? What’s in the paper bag?”

“Because you’re still the tallest and I didn’t want to hurt your pride. I left him at the restaurant. And, dinner.” You move comfortably inside her apartment. You put the take-out bag down on the table, ripping it so it serves as a placemat, and showing its contents.

Two burgers and fries to share.

You sneak a glance at her empty kitchen sink. She hasn’t eaten yet – otherwise it would be full, because she doesn’t like to wash her dishes right after dinner and always waits until the morning. “Eat with me?”

She obediently sits down at the table, like this is your house and she’s your guest. She eyes you suspiciously as she slowly unwraps her burger. “Yong, will you tell me what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

You take a deep breath. “Ok, let’s start with the facts. Number one: I love you.”

“I know.” She nibbles on her burger, looking almost uninterested in what you have to say. But then she adds, “I love you too.”

“I know.” You nod at the successful communication and confirmation of fact number one. “Fact number two: there’s no one else I would rather be with. You’re my one and only.”

“I know,” she repeats, her eyes focused on a stray leaf of lettuce. “That makes it even more painful.”

“I know,” you agree, eating a mouthful of fries. You’re starving. “Now, let’s move on to fears. Fear number one –“

“What happens if we get outed?”

“Exactly.”

“We’ve already been through all of this, Yong. You’re hurting me. I got the message, please stop now.”

“No, listen to me. Eat your dinner and listen to me. Fact number three: facts trump fears.”

She stops dead in her tracks, her lips covered in ketchup. She just stares at you, a mix of emotions going through her eyes in the next five seconds. You are able to identify them all. Surprise. Doubt. Hope. Resignation. Sadness. Hope again. Finally, a glimpse of trust.

“I don’t expect you to just forgive and forget and take me back. I know I hurt you. I hurt myself too. But I’m so sick of being afraid. These past few months have been the tiest of my life. I miss you so much.”

She nods. You know she could say the same – you know she just wants to come to you right now and hold you in her arms. But she forces some rationality back into her eyes.

“You do realize that you’re saying that now, but if we go back to the way things were… you’ll be scared less all over again sometime soon? And I will be, too? For good reason?”

“I do.”

“The things you said to me that night… the night you left me. Those were valid concerns. You do realize,” she spits out the question with more than a hint of bitterness, like she’s disgusted by her very words, “there’s nothing I can do to ease those worries?”

“Yes, Byul-ah.”

“So what do you plan to do with that? What happens when you get scared next time? Are you going to leave again?” Her voice cracks. “Are you going to leave me again?”

A wave of nausea goes through you at the mere thought of making the worst mistake of your life twice. You might be anxious, you might be apprehensive, but you’re not stupid. When you’re in pain, you learn from it.

Especially if the pain is excruciating. You learn from others’ pain, too. Hers. You might make mistakes – tragic ones, even – but goddamn you if you let them go to waste.

“When I get scared next time,” you say slowly, never more sure of anything in your life, “you hold me through it and you remind me of the facts. If you get scared, I hold you through it and I remind you of the facts.”

The soundness of your answer breaks her. She’s fully crying now, silently, few but large tears falling over her forgotten burger. “And what if it actually happens? What if somebody outs us?”

“If somebody outs us, we stop being scared. And we deal with whatever they throw at us. Together.”

“You make it sound like it’s the best scenario.”

“Maybe it is.”

Silence falls between the two of you. You respect it. You can practically hear the wheels turning in her brain as she absorbs your conversation.

Finally, she dries her tears with a paper napkin from the takeout bag. “How bad was your date tonight, exactly? Bringing you all the way back to me?”

“Does that mean I made it?” She raises an eyebrow. You don’t dare sounding too hopeful. “Did I make it back to you?”

Your question doesn’t get answered. Slowly but surely, though, she comes over to your side of the kitchen table.

She sits on your lap, burying her nose in your hair. Your heart swells at the indescribable feeling of her body relaxing against yours. You’ve been yearning for this. For her. You can’t go without this, ever again.

“Best date of my life,” you smile into her shoulder. “Life changing.”