Yongsun is not a touchy-feely person.

Never has been.

Her family and friends give her a hard time about it – but Yongsun just prefers to keep her personal space her own – it’s called personal for a reason, after all.

Yongsun is also a practical person.

She firmly believes problems get solved through grit and hard work, not hugs.

In her opinion, this is a good attitude. It gets her through the long, exhausting days of a trainee with minimal damage.

She watches Wheein and Hyejin napping on one of the couches in their practice room after a particularly tiring morning, squashed together like sardines, limbs intertwined, heads close together.

She doesn’t get it.

They look too uncomfortable to get any quality sleep. Why couldn’t one of them take the other couch?

God knows they need all the rest they can get.

One day, the four of them are practicing their harmonies when Byulyi suddenly gets called into their C.E.O.’s office.

Wheein and Hyejin welcome the break with mirth and ask if they can go get bubble tea from the nice old man who has a stand two streets over.

Yongsun is glad to give the two youngest a little respite, but she stays.

She wants to keep working. It’s a good time for a little alone dance practice.

She’s still stretching when Byulyi gets back into their practice room.

Yongsun glances at her and doesn’t like the expression on Byulyi’s face.

She doesn’t mean to pry, but, as the leader, she has a right to know.

“That was quick. What did you two talk about?”

Byulyi looks at Yongsun in the eyes, but she doesn’t answer.

She just sits down on the floor, back against the mirrored wall, puts her face in her hands and starts to cry.

“Byul-ah? What’s the matter?!” She inquires, but Byulyi can’t answer her.

Not right now.

Yongsun is paralized.

What would a good leader do in this situation?, she thinks to herself.

She watches in horror as Byulyi cries her heart out.

She would encourage her to be proactive and find ways to solve whatever is bothering her head on.

But I don’t know why she’s crying.

Yongsun can’t think of anything else to do.

So she decides to act a little out of character, and, doubting herself even as she does this, she sits on the floor beside Byulyi and wraps her in her arms.

Ugh, I hope my armpits don’t smell.

But Byulyi doesn’t resist, so even if her armpits do smell, it can’t be so bad.

Yongsun pats Byulyi’s head clumsily.

She’s not used to this.

There must be a better way, she thinks, this is too awkward.

So she stops patting, and starts caressing Byulyi’s hair.

Byulyi cries harder on Yongsun’s shoulder.

Yongsun guesses that her shirt must probably have some mascara stains by now, but she finds herself not minding too much.

As long as this helps solve the problem somehow.

They stay like this for a while.

She keeps caressing Byulyi’s hair, and feels accomplished when she thinks of using her other hand to massage her friend’s back.

This seems to comfort Byulyi the most.

Her sobs start to sound a little less uncontrollable, a little more spaced out.

Yongsun doubles down, hoping to get the job done.

She nuzzles her nose against Byulyi’s head, and kisses her temple.

Byulyi finally quiets down, and sighs into the leader’s embrace.

Yongsun is about to ask again, but Byulyi beats her to it and spills the beans.

“I’m not gonna debut as a vocalist. He wants me to rap. If I don’t agree, I’m out.”

This is news to Yongsun, but she can’t really say she’s surprised.

“Yongsun unnie, I don’t know how to do this. I don’t think I can.”

“Nonsense. Of course you can. You are going to be great at it, eventually. I know it in my bones. I’ll help you. We can do this.”

Yongsun knows what she needs to do now.

She has to admit, the cuddling hasn’t been completely useless, in this particular instance.

But it’s time for action now - there’s no need to be hugging anymore.

She lets Byulyi go, and stands up to go change her shirt.

-

Byulyi doesn’t really think of herself as a cuddler.

Physical affection has never been a thing in her family – it’s not that they don’t love each other, they’re just used to expressing it via other means.

Like bantering. Bickering. Scolding.

With her sisters, occasionally kicking each other in the shins.

She isn’t one of those people who go to lengths to actively avoid being touched, either.

She just has a tad of social anxiety about it.

In her teenage years, Byulyi dated a boy from her school for a while.

He was cute, and polite, and he smelled clean.

He held her hand on their walks together, and she let him do it – even though she didn’t really reciprocate the gesture, her hand going almost limp in his.

He also liked to pull her on his lap when they ate with their friends at the convenience store. She let him do this too, even though she felt herself get a bit stiff when he did this, and couldn’t relax into his touch for the life of her.

There wasn’t anything wrong with him.

It’s just, Byulyi was not a cuddler, and still isn’t.

Nobody else had tried to cuddle her since, anyway.

Yes, Yongsun did give her a hug a couple of weeks ago, but that was when Byulyi was almost hysterical from having been told she had to switch to rap, so that doesn’t really count.

When she thinks about Yongsun hugging her, though, one thing still puzzles her.

That she hadn’t felt tense at all.

Nor anxious about it in any way.

In fact, that little moment with the leader had eased her anxiety, if only a little bit.

It’s probably just because I was so upset, I wasn’t myself, she concludes, as she walks back to the mouldy apartment she shares with two of her members, on a cold
winter night.

“Byul-ah! Don’t take your coat off, you’re in for a treat,” she hears Hyejin calling out to her as soon as she sets foot in the door. “We’ve got no heating and no hot water. The landlord said something about the blower capacitor being dead and that he’s sending someone asap. The flat has been unheated all day. I’m ing off to Wheeinie’s, wanna come?"

“Where is Yongsun unnie?” Byulyi asks, realizing it’s so cold inside the flat that she can actually see her breath.

“In bed. She said she’s tired and wants to sleep, but I bet that’s just an excuse to be under the covers. Are you coming or not?”

“I’ll stay here in case Yongsun-unnie is actually asleep and someone does come to fix our… velociraptor? What was it?”

Hyejin stifles a laugh. “At this hour? Sure, whatever. I’m off – text me if you have any news.”

“Bye, Hyejin-ah.”

Byulyi goes through their kitchen and puts her bag down on the table before walking to the tiny bedroom she shares with her members.

The light is off but Yongsun isn’t sleeping – she greets Byulyi and asks about her day, her teeth chattering through the question.

Byulyi changes into her pjs as she chats with the leader about everything and nothing.

In the meanwhile, Yongsun is wrapping herself tighter in her duvet.

She looks like a burrito.

She’s adorable, Byulyi thinks before she can catch herself, and shivers.

Byulyi gets into her own single bed.

The sheets feel positively icy against her skin.

She tries to curl up into a ball, knees near her chest.

It’s not working.

“It’s so cold,” she hears Yongsun complaining. “I can’t fall asleep like this, I can’t feel my nose.”

“I feel the same.”

Byulyi doesn’t think of herself as a cuddler. But they had a long day today, and they have a long day tomorrow, and they both need to catch some ZZZs.

Byulyi is not a cuddler, but she will do what needs to be done.

“Unnie, may I get into bed with you? That way we can share body heat, it’ll warm you up a bit.”

“It doesn’t work that way, Byul-ah,” Yongsun laughs. “People who want to share body heat need to remove their clothes.”

“I’m not getting undressed, unnie! They call me Conservative Moon for a reason. Never mind, then.”

“I was just kidding,” Yongsun murmurs. “Get in here.”

Byulyi leaves her bed and gets into Yongsun’s, keeping her distance as not to startle the older girl.

“I need to get closer to you if this is going to work.”

“Go ahead.” Yongsun says softly, nodding.

Byulyi moves closer to her leader until they’re breathing the same icy air and their legs are touching.

“Better?,” she asks.

“No,” Yongsun replies, her teeth still chattering.

So Byulyi gets even closer.

She puts her arms around the older girl and starts quickly rubbing Yongsun’s arm and back with her hands, to give her some warmth.

She lowers her head and blows hot air on Yongsun’s hands. She rubs Yongsun’s feet with her own. Yongsun’s teeth stop chattering.

“Better now?,” Byulyi asks again after a few minutes of these ministrations.

“Yes,” Yongsun replies, sleep already coating her voice.

Byulyi keeps at it until she feels Yongsun’s breath growing heavy and her body finally relaxing.

And then some more.

She doesn’t want Yongsun to jolt awake if she suddenly stops moving.

Plus, this is also benefitting Byulyi herself. She almost feels warm enough to fall asleep now.

I’m not a cuddler, but I have to admit this doesn’t feel too awkward, is her last thought before she stops being able to keep her eyes open. I could get used to this.

-

The first night of a three-day break.

There’s nothing better than that, nothing in the whole world.

The girls decide they’re too tired to go out and party tonight – they have the whole weekend to do that.

However, they want to be together anyway.

It’s getting hard to do even think about doing stuff alone, when they have been living joined at the hip for months now.

Yongsun wants to do an impromptu jam session.

She gets booed by the others.

Byulyi wants to play tabletop games, but Hyejin hates those.

Wheein wants to plan their next vacation – until she gets reminded that they won’t get another break anytime soon, and they don’t have any money anyway.

Hyejin wants to cook a nice meal, but Byuli isn’t hungry and Wheein is not in the mood to cook.

In the end, they settle for popcorn and a movie.

They kindly let Yongsun pick one, since she is their leader, after all.

The popcorn is ready.

Wheein turns off the light, while Heyjin turns on the small floor lamp behind their couch, brightening the room ever so slightly with a dim light.

Then, the kids throw some pillows on the floor to sit down for the movie.

Youngsun and Byulyi do get to take the couch as the eldest – however, they pay for the privilege by being mercilessly teased by the maknes about their old age.

When Wheein asks Yongsun how her arthritis is today, Byulyi throws a pillow at her, shushes everyone and starts the movie.

Five minutes in, Hyejin senses Yongsun shifting behind her, moving towards the center of the couch.

She doesn’t make anything of it.

Fifteen minutes in, Wheein goes “ouch!” when Byulyi hits the back of her head with her knee as she rearranges herself on the sofa.

Wheein turns to give Byulyi a death glare, and she sees her unnies sitting close together.

They were sitting on opposite sides of the couch just a moment ago, she thinks, ever observant.

Thirty minutes in, Hyejin gets distracted from the movie as she watches the faint shadows on the wall behind the TV.

That’s the shadow of an arm – Yongsun’s – moving towards Byulyi’s shadow.

Is she putting her arm on Byulyi’s shoulders?

What are they, two teenagers at the movie theater?

Hyejin elbows Wheein and discretely points at her unnies’ shadows on the wall.

Wheein chuckles.

Forty-five minutes in, the kids can’t help but laugh quietly when they hear soft snoring coming from behind them.

They turn around, and see their unnies asleep on the couch, Byulyi’s head on Yongsun’s shoulder, Yongsun’s cheek on Byulyi’s head.

“These unnies are weird,” Wheein raises her eyebrows. “I thought neither of them liked to cuddle.”

“They do know, apparently? With each other, at least.” Hyejin smirks.

“I didn’t realize they were this close. Do you think they are doing this on a regular basis?!”

“Do I even want to know? Enough, let’s leave them to it.”

Hyejin turns off the TV and the floor lamp.

Wheein covers her unnies with a blanket, and they leave.