Chaewon POV

 

 

The same bed, but not the same day.

 

You and Sakura have become closer over the course of one week. It’s surprising, actually, because this is the fastest you have ever gotten close with someone. 

 

You have her kindness to blame. After your second day on Raeix, Sakura invited you to stay in her apartment, keeping her promise of helping you find where ‘home’ is. Not that this is home, or anything close to it, you just– you don’t know. You were selfish and accepted her offer.

 

You can also blame your decision to stay selfish and sleep in her bed with her every night since the first time. You had a small conversation with her about it. She doesn’t mind. She says that hugging someone to sleep makes it come easier. You agree with her.

 

Pulling her closer, you bury your head into the crook of her neck. Breathing in, you smell a mixture of flowers with something sweet that you can’t name. Almost strawberries, but the floral scent makes it hard to tell.

 

Sakura’s arm is draped over your waist beneath the blankets. Her body rests against yours, and you should feel unbearably hot, but you don’t. This is just right.

 

The girl takes in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She’s awake.

 

Because you’ve woken up before her during most days, you’ve memorized the things she does when waking up. Sakura breathes in deeply and lets it out slowly. Then, she somehow pulls you closer, like how she does now.

 

Sakura pulls at your waist, making you press against her more than before. Red paints your ears and you can only hope that she can’t see it, because in about a few seconds is the time when she pulls away and gets ready for work. And just as you thought, the girl slips her arm away from you and out of your embrace. You continue to ‘sleep’, missing her warmth.

 

Except when she’s supposed to be getting up to get ready, you don’t feel the dip on the bed leave nor hear the creaking of the wooden floor from her walking. Instead, you feel her stare. 

 

She doesn’t usually do this, you accidentally memorized her routine after all.

 

You pretend to stir in hopes that she looks away. It doesn’t work, because she utters a few words and you still feel her stare.

 

They’re not loud enough to hear, but you do catch one word. What a coincidence that it happened to be ‘pretty’. The feeling of her stare disappears, and the dip in the bed dissipates.

 

You don’t know what she said. It could have been ‘pretty cool’, ‘pretty annoying’, ‘pretty sure she hates me’ or just… ‘pretty’. You don’t know which you prefer.

 

Hearing her footsteps leave the room and the sound of a door closing, you open your eyes. Her room is how it always is: rumpled white bedsheets, open curtains that let the sun’s light peek through, an untidy vanity, and an overall tidy room that contrasts her vanity.

 

Sometimes you would help clean her vanity that is left a mess when she does her makeup, but by the next morning, it’s disordered again.

 

You sigh.

 

Tossing the sheets off your body, you let your legs dangle from the bed, feeling the chill of the floor. Hands rest on your lap.

 

‘Pretty’. What did she mean? 

 

You push yourself up to stand.

 

When you hear or even think of the word ‘pretty’, you can only think of your home. Its beautiful night sky. 

 

A sharp sting to your heart.

 

“The sky is so pretty.” 

 

“Yeah, very pretty.”

 

You’re left breathless, the hand that once rested on your lap now holding your chest.

 

This has been happening recently. Sudden memories of what once was hitting you and a flash of guilt rushes overwhelms you. It makes you all too aware of the fact that you haven’t done anything to go through with your goal.

 

…Would you have been better off going somewhere other than Raeix?

 

At this point, your goal should be to have enough courage to give up.

 

Sakura walks in with a toothbrush in . You look up, meeting her eyes.

 

Pretty.

 

“Did I wake you?” Her words are slightly muffled because of the toothbrush.

 

You shake your head ‘no’. “I guess I woke up when I couldn’t feel you anymore,” You lie.

 

Sakura walks to her closet, pulling out the familiar work uniform. It’s different from the one she wore when you first met her. Allegedly, that one is for missions only, The one she wears daily is more comfortable, consisting of a white collared dress shirt and white slim-fit slacks. The shirt is then paired with a mostly white corset, mostly because the sides are lined with red then filled in with gold.

 

It’s a lot more comfortable than a full leather bodysuit, you think.

 

“Missed me?” She asks, and you can’t help but laugh when her words continue to come out muffled. 

 

“You wish,” You reply. Standing up, you walk towards the door. Sakura follows close behind, before turning into the bathroom.

 

You’ve made it a habit to sit on the couch while waiting for Sakura to finish getting ready. You don’t know why, but you like to see her leave. Maybe it’s so that you know she’ll come back based on the clothes she wears.

 

Throwing yourself onto the brown couch, you tug a blanket over your body. Sakura has poked fun at you, talking about how you moved from one place to another to sleep, but you don’t clarify that you do it simply to wait for her. You prefer to be comfortable while doing so.

 

Like the days during the week, she comes out of the bathroom wearing her uniform. Her wavy, dark gray hair flows softly as she walks to the open kitchen with her shorter pieces of hair framing her face.

 

“I still think the sunglasses we saw at the store would go perfectly with this outfit,” She says while opening the door to the refrigerator, pulling out a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil. You watched her make it the night before.

 

You roll your eyes. “Oh, shut up. You’ve been talking about them every day since I stopped you from buying them.”

 

“Because the purchase would have been worth every coin spent.”

 

“I’m not speaking another language, am I?”

 

Sakura smirks, and you glare at her. “You might as well be.”

 

Silence with the occasional clatters of Sakura moving dishes ensue. A typical morning, the only one that you’ve known since you’ve been with Sakura. You don’t know anything else.

 

The same thoughts that conflict you rush to your head. Are all Raeixans as nice as Sakura? Impossible, right? They still destroyed Paridiy. Even so, Sakura aided in their mission to destroy it, so is Sakura as nice as she makes herself out to be?

 

She’s been nothing but kind to you. She offered you her hospitality, she’s been considerate with the questions she asks you, and she knows not to push for answers when you show that you are uncomfortable. She is nice, but she is the captain of the unit that destroyed your home. It is difficult to ignore that fact.

 

You blink, and that’s when you realize that you can feel a gaze on you. You push yourself up to sit, turning your head to meet her gaze. Sakura stands before the door, a bag resting on her shoulder.

 

“Red or brown?” You ask. At times, you can’t feel the surge of power that occurs when your eyes turn colors. You tend to block out the sensation when you’re deep in thought.

 

“Red,” She answers while walking towards you. She kneels before where you sit. “Care to tell?”

 

Your heart stings. She cares enough to ask if you’re comfortable enough to share.

 

Slowly, you shake your head ‘no’, averting your eyes from hers. Still, you see her smile softly from the corner of your eye.

 

“I’ll be here for you, whether you’re ready or not,” She speaks just above a whisper. You melt.

 

Moving closer, you wrap your arms around her. You inhale the scent of strawberries and flowers.

 

Your heart stings. You remember how you only thought about Sakura for the entirety of a day, forgetting about the loss of your love. What does that mean for her? What does that mean for you?

 

You don’t know. You don’t know what to feel.

 

Sakura gives you a squeeze.

 

Right, you’re here with her. No one else.

 

“You okay?” She whispers, rubbing a comforting hand on your back. You nod.

 

“Yeah,” It’s small, but you know she hears you when she gives you another squeeze. You don’t know if it’s the truth. You don’t know a lot of things anymore.

 

Sakura pulls away, smiling gently at you before turning her gaze away from you.

 

“Eunchae wants to visit later.”

 

You raise an eyebrow, confused. You haven’t seen Eunchae since your last breakdown. 

 

“A movie marathon?” You recall Sakura telling you about how Eunchae likes to watch movies with her. 

 

The captain shrugs. “Maybe, but she told me she wants to talk to you.”

 

You flinch out of surprisement. “Why?”

 

“You would be better off asking her– if she can come over, that is,” Sakura quickly adds the last part, and you know exactly why. It’s one of her ways to make sure you’re comfortable. 

 

You return her smile. “Of course she can.”

 

She looks at you with that look again, except it’s not protectiveness you see. You can’t put a finger on what it is. 

 

“I’ll be home soon,” She says as she stands up. A pain to your heart.

 

Home.

 

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon,” Your smile grows wider.

 

You watch her back as she walks and how she disappears behind the door. 

 

A deep breath out. This could be home if you accepted it.

 

Four knocks. Your head snaps to the door. Eunchae must be here.

 

You stand up, patting down your clothes to make sure you look presentable.

 

After Sakura left, you got dressed for the day as well. You prefer to save sleepwear for what they are intended to be used for. You changed into baggy, dark gray sweatpants with a fitted black T-shirt, the epitome of at home clothes.

 

Making your way to open the door, you glance around the living room to make sure everything is tidy enough. It is. Sakura hates having a messy lounging space. You smile, remembering when she first mentioned that and how you brought up her vanity. According to her, since her vanity isn’t a living space, it doesn’t count.

 

A hand twists the door’s knob and pulls it open. Eunchae stands before you, one hand scratching the back of the other. Her eyes widen slightly when she realizes that you stand in place of the door, and a smile forms on her lips. Her hands drop to her sides.

 

“Chaewon!”

 

A soft smile.

 

“Eunchae, come in.” You step aside and motion for her to step inside, to which she does. 

 

She takes a moment to look around. “Everything is the same. You didn’t change anything?” The girl looks at you curiously.

 

You look around too. The brown couch is still set with both a coffee table and a TV in front of it, a couple paintings hanging on the wall behind it. The sunlight pours in from the large window to the right of it. Then there are a few green plants that hang on the wall with one hanging from the ceiling. They are all Sakura’s decorations.

 

“Should I have bought things to decorate with?” You ask, chuckling.

 

Eunchae only shrugs. “I just thought that since you’re living with Captain Kkura now, you would have a say in what decorations go up.” She leans closer to you. “I don’t know about you, but I think there’s too much green in here.”

 

You shake your head, laughing softly. You push her gently to the couch and she grins. She sits, placing her hands on her lap as you sit a comfortable distance from her.

 

“So, I hear that you wanted to talk to me?” You cut straight to the point.

 

Eunchae visibly tenses. Your smile drops and confusion grows.

 

“Uh, yeah…” You watch as the girl begins to scratch her hand. “About the question I asked last time.”

 

Last time– meaning when she asked about what happened to you?

 

“I wanted to apologize,” She blurts out. You see her eyes gloss. “I’m sorry for asking you a question like that. It was insensitive of me.”

 

A tender smile.

 

“How could you have known it was insensitive?” You ask. She meets eyes with you. Her once brown eyes are now a golden yellow. They’re tearfilled. One tear escapes, and you wipe it away before it falls off her cheek. “Hey, why are you crying?”

 

Another tear falls.

 

“I just– I feel really bad! It was my fault you– you–” More tears run down Eunchae’s face