Sakura POV

 

 

Your mornings usually consist of trying to resist the urge of skipping work that day, as your bed and the person you wake up to are too comfortable for you to get up. However, this morning is not the usual.

 

A deep breath, and you pull– nothing toward you. No one is there. 

 

You’re suddenly wide awake. Your eyes snap open and your arms help in pushing yourself up to a seated position. Chaewon isn’t here, in your arms or in bed. As your head turns to look from one corner of the room to another in search of the girl, memories of the night before begin to come back to you, reminding you of the events.

 

Your mood, Raeix, the Council.

Then, Chaewon walked in through the door and things started to look alright. Albeit you didn’t stop thinking about your worries, you were able to voice them to the girl you like so much. And then, there was the tension. The way she held you, the way she spoke and reassured you. She only made you fall for her deeper.

 

No wonder why you were about to kiss her.

 

And you did end up kissing her, although she was the one who initiated it. Sure, you’re more than happy, but you can’t help but feel a sense of guilt. Could you have made her feel pressured to? 

 

A groan, and you bury your face in your hands. 

 

You feel not only guilt, but also embarrassment. You were sure you hadn’t even drunk to your limit, but you obviously did if you were bold enough to attempt to kiss her.

 

You didn’t want to be a nuisance to Chaewon with your slightly drunken state as you know you can be insufferable at times.

 

Oh, and you also have a meeting today.

 

A soft laugh, finding it amusing as your work has become an afterthought, but you suppose you wouldn’t have it any other way. Not when Chaewon brings you only happiness.

 

Tender kisses and warm smiles. You remember, how she hooked her arms around your shoulders, how you lightly let your arms rest on her waist. You remember how she pulled you on top of her when she lowered her back to rest on the couch. With heavy breaths, you continued to kiss her, fulfilling your desire from days ago when you had your dream of honey.

 

Just thinking about the moment makes you crave more, more of her, everything. Her fiery touch that you’re addicted to, her soft whispers of sweet nothings. 

 

Heat creeps up your face, your feelings for the younger overwhelming you.

 

“Are you… okay?”

 

Chaewon.

 

Swiftly pulling your hands away from your face, your head turns towards where her voice came from. In the doorway stands Chaewon, who carries a tray with a glass of water and two bowls on it. The girl approaches you, and it becomes clear that the bowls contain yogurt with granola and various fruits sprinkled on top. 

 

The way she cares for you astounds you, and you think you’ve fallen deeper.

 

“Yes… I’m fine,” You force words out of your mouth, realizing that your ability to speak is affected by the girl.

 

A small smile on her lips and she sits down on the edge of the bed. 

 

She picks up the pillow she uses at night and places it behind you, patting it. “Sit back, Sakura.”

 

You listen to her, leaning against the pillow. Chaewon then places the tray on your lap. She watches you with expectant eyes, most likely waiting for you to eat, but you can’t. You’re feeling too much for her, and you want so badly to put it into words, but what you feel is indescribable. A beautiful, indescribable feeling.

 

“What?” She asks with a tilt of her head. She’s confused, but she continues to look adorable.

 

Guilt, embarrassment, and now regret mixes into your feelings for her.

 

“I’m sorry…” You apologize weakly, averting your gaze after seeing the pure look of concern she gives you.

 

Chaewon moves closer, pulling you into a side hug with her left arm resting around your waist. “Why? What’s wrong”

 

Her proximity, her touch, it reminds you of her kisses last night, causing your heart to beat rapidly in anticipation. You would relish in the sensation, but you’re so regretful, so scared of the way she might react, because what if you were right?

 

You look down, too ashamed of yourself. “I feel like I pressured you into kissing me last night.”

 

The last thing you want to do is make Chaewon uncomfortable. That was the whole plan you had when you first met her, the reason why you pulled her away from Commander Hong, and why you don’t ask her questions. letting her explain things for herself. To let her be her own person who makes her own decisions. You feel as if you tore away that entire belief. She didn’t ask for you to get that close to her, to call her attractive or anything like that. 

 

But then she places a finger under your chin, forcing you to look at her. All your worries vanish when you see her look of affection towards you, almost the same as the one you have been directing towards her for so long, but this is Chaewon. Her beauty is celestial, gifted to her by the stars, and that is what sets her apart.

 

A chortle, and she leans the slightest bit closer. “You know, a thought I had last night passed through my mind just now.”

 

She takes a short pause before she continues, and it’s enough for you to start to suffocate, but you don’t. Instead you relish in it. How could you not when her lips brush against yours?

 

“You talk too much.”

 

And her lips meet yours. 

 

Your worries dissipate in an instant, Chaewon having more power over you than you realize she has. Her hand still rests on your waist, burning your skin with the feeling of her you want to have for eternity.

 

Never would you have thought you would be kissing someone while still at the start of your career. Sure, it’s been years since you started working, but you never planned on catching feelings for anyone. Your only focus was on Raeix, trying to be the best you could be for your planet.  Except now, you kiss Chaewon as if she could disappear in seconds. 

 

A hand to your cheek, caressing it softly, and you know you wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

She smiles into the warm kiss before she pulls away, leaving a peck on your lips.

 

A few seconds pass as you gaze at her before you speak up. “I haven't brushed my teeth yet.” 

 

Chaewon shoots you a glare, removing her hand from your shoulder, but you don’t let it get too far before you intertwine your hand with hers. 

 

“That’s what you were thinking of when I was kissing you?”

 

You shake your head no. Your thoughts are full of her, and you’re unable to think of anything or anyone else. You can’t when a girl that no one can compare to is right here in front of you.

 

“Only you.”

 

Your breakfast is eaten with Chaewon commenting on whatever runs through her mind, oftentimes having to remind you to eat when she notices that you’ve stopped to admire her. But, you can’t stop yourself. Chaewon is your eye candy, filling your senses with everything sweet in the universe.

 

“I should just go eat in the kitchen if you’re going to be like this.”

 

A small smile plasters onto your face, quickly turning into a mischievous smirk.

 

“Yeah, why don’t you?” You resist the urge to laugh when she shoots daggers at you. However, she doesn’t move, instead choosing to make herself comfortable as she lies down beside you. “I knew you liked my presence too much for you to leave.”

 

Setting down the emptied bowl in your hands onto the tray, you move it to the side so you're able to hold Chaewon better. Gently, you pick up her head and move the pillow you were leaning against under her head. She lets out a small laugh at your actions.

 

“What a gentlewoman.”

 

You bow your head, giving her a twirl of your hand as you do so. 

 

“I have to care for the princess,” You say as you lie down next to her, your arm moving to rest around her waist. You pull her closer.

 

Her eyes land everywhere but on you, pink dusting her face. She notices you staring, so she moves her head to bury it under your neck.

 

“Stop it,” Her voice comes out muffled, smaller and more timid than usual. You smirk.

 

“You just kissed me and now you’re acting like this?” You let out a snicker. She was just acting so bold, doing such an effective job at keeping you addicted to her. However, you are allowed to like more than only one side of her. If she was adorable before, then what would that make her now? “Don’t worry Chae, I like your duality.”

 

You feel her muscles become rather tense. Has she realized her regret? Or maybe, she has recalled something of her past? But, if it were that, Chaewon would be shaking in your embrace, unlike now when she is completely still.

 

Hearing her take in a heavy inhale, you trace circles on the small of her back in an attempt to comfort her, just as she did for you yesterday.

 

“Does that mean you like me?”

 

It seems that this question was what was troubling her.

 

If she had asked you this same question after you woke up from your dream of her, you would be in a panic. You would be trying to calm your thoughts, attempting to come up with something to reply with while also deciding if you wanted to tell her the truth or not. However, now, that isn’t the case.

 

“I do,” You grin, feeling Chaewon relax in your arms. “I like you a lot.”

 

The girl lets out a snort, pulling away from your neck to get a better look at you. “You sound so unserious when you say it like that.”

“I mean it, though,” You laugh softly, finding her reaction amusing. “I never thought I would ever like someone as much as I do you.”

 

You swear, Chaewon is the cutest girl you’ve ever met. A wide smile pushes itself onto her face. The girl leans forward, pressing a kiss to your lips.

 

“I like you too.”

 

Your heart has never felt so full.

 

Of course, the moment you’ve been dreading catches up to you. You stand before the Division Hall wearing a different uniform than usual. Instead of your white collared shirt and slacks, you wear the abnormally expensive uniform normally reserved for missions. The suit has detachable armor plates for protection against anything on the field, but you don’t have them on as of now. Like your first encounter with Chaewon, you don’t feel the need to have them on as nothing poses any danger to you.

 

But, it is unnecessarily hot while wearing this, the heavy leather trapping the heat inside. Pulling at the fabric of your sleeves, you take a step forward, the glass doors sliding open for you.

 

With a deep breath to keep yourself calm, you start walking. Your heels clack as you make your way down the tiled hallway, filling the silence that bothers you so.

 

Chaewon could tell you were nervous before you left. As you were getting ready, she would make conversation with you, temporarily distracting you from your worries. At times she would kiss you, and you would return them with kisses of your own that would last for a few seconds too long.

 

And yet when you need her the most, she is not here.

 

Your entire body trembles from your nerves, your shoulders tense as you continue to walk through the hallway. Except you keep a straight face, not showing how worried you are. You can’t let anyone see, you can’t prove Council Member Morana right.

 

Thus, you continue to walk, ignoring the alarms in your head telling you that you are making the wrong choice, because what other choice do you have? You can’t back out as you are already inside the building. You can’t run away like how you wanted to when you were in your early teens. 

 

You walk past a couple of young seraphs, their heads turning to stare as you continue down the hallway. Even as your back faces them and you can’t see them, you feel their eyes on you. You hear their whispers.

 

“Miss Miyawaki is here—” “Her inauguration—” “Really?” “Didn’t she say—too weak?” “She’s strong enough.” “—a pushover.” “She can hear us!”

 

Hearing them doubt your strength makes your stomach churn. If it is noticeable by your subordinates, then it is noticeable by everyone. Your fingers tug at your sleeve as you take a deep breath in, trying to not let their words affect you.

 

However, it is difficult to do so when you arrive outside the room.

 

You feel your hands shaking as they drop to your side. A strong sensation rushes from your chest to your head, dull black eyes becoming bright pink. You try everything. You tell yourself that this is for your parents, that you will succeed at making them proud. You tell yourself that you will prove everyone wrong, that you are not weak. That you’re only subjecting yourself to the power of the corrupt Raeixan government…

 

The door is pulled open, and you are met with the eyes of Council Member Icarus. She gives you an eerie smile, to which you respond with a blank stare.

 

“Miss Miyawaki, you are right on time,” She steps aside, her long red and white robe dragging on the floor behind her. “Please, enter.”

 

Without you saying a word, you step inside the council room. You have always despised having to come here for your work, but this time you absolutely abhor it. The five members of the Council sit behind the large elevated desk, watching as you take your place a few meters in front of them. You see the smirk on Council Member Ry’s face, only fueling your hatred towards them.

 

Meanwhile, Council Member Morana only stares. She glowers at you, her jaw visibly clenching at the sight of you. You recall when she only directed smiles in your direction, laughing and poking fun at you, the complete opposite as to how she is with you now.

 

“We weren’t expecting you to show, Miss Miyawaki,” Council Member Ry taunts you, and Commander– Council Member Hong laughs quietly. “After the scene you caused yesterday, we fully expected you to run off with your beloved.”

 

You want your heart to flutter at the mention of Chaewon, how they refer to her as your beloved, but it doesn’t. Instead you scowl, aware of the fact that they are using the term to insult you and her.

 

“What else was I supposed to do?” You manage to reply without stammering, forcing the words out of your throat.

 

“Nothing at all. You did what you were asked, and so I thank you, Miss Miyawaki.”

 

Your eyes drag to Head Council Member Tarin, who sits directly in the center. Her hands are clasped together, resting on the wood of the desk. The upper half of her face is covered by her hood, but her stare sends shivers down your spine. You’ve never liked it when she does things other than write during meetings, but it seems that for this meeting she will talk as well.

 

Council Member Tarin then turns her head to meet the eyes of Council Members Hong and Ry, causing them to wipe the smirks off their faces and straighten their backs to sit properly. “I would rather the two of you remain professional throughout this meeting. We are here to discuss the future of the planet, not your childish petty war with a woman younger than both of you.”

What the two members haven’t learned from Council Member Morana is to keep their comments to themselves when Council Member Tarin is near. Your former mentor only stares, her sharp eyes focusing on you with an obvious glint of hatred.

 

“Our apologies.”

 

The hooded woman only hums, picking up the pen in front of her and begins to write on a paper in front of her.

 

“Very well, let us start.”

 

Your hand tugs at the sleeve of your bodysuit before you clasp your hands behind your back. A deep inhale, and you force yourself to relax, easing all tense muscles in your body. 

 

You notice how the small red button that resides in front of Council Member Tarin remains untouched. During previous meetings you have attended, one of the five members pressed the button, signaling that everything that was being spoken of in the room was being recorded. You haven’t a clue as to why they chose not to press it for this meeting.

 

“Miyawaki Sakura, Captain of Division Unit 3,” The head member announces loudly, her voice echoing throughout the empty room. “Sole candidate for the Commander of the Raeixan Seraph Division.”

 

You simply nod, acknowledging her words while also attempting to keep your composure to the best of your ability. The woman only picks up the pen at her side, writing down whatever words she finds important enough to take note of.

 

“Do you understand why you were nominated for this position?” The woman asks, sparing you a glance before focusing on the book set in front of her. The four other council members watch you as they await your answer.

 

You, however, can’t find the words to describe why you’re here. You were comfortable with your position as captain, you never intended on pursuing a higher position because of the fact that you never wanted to be here in the first place. Council Member Morana said it herself. It is an honor to be found worthy enough to be the commander of the Division, but you don’t have it in yourself to feel proud of this. 

 

Except, you can’t say that. 

 

“No, I don’t. In truth, I feel that someone else should be standing in my place.”

 

You don’t know why part of you was expecting mercy from the Council. You don’t know why you thought that maybe, just maybe, they would feel sympathy towards you. Perhaps they would ask you who you feel should be in your place. Perhaps they would let you go and decide within themselves who should be Commander. But, they are the Council, and although Council Member Tarin has been kinder to you than the rest, she is still known for her ruthlessn