Chaewon POV

 

 

 

On a lone asteroid, you kneel. Alone in the cold that is the cosmos. You’ve been here before, but it wasn’t nearly as cold as it was now. Maybe it spared you its frost the first time, or maybe it’s because you don’t have the shock of losing everything there to protect you from said cold.

 

This asteroid isn’t big at all, but you have never torn something of this size apart before, and that is what you were here to test. Granted, you know you’re one of the many weaker seraphs, but you thought with your new power it would be enough.

 

You feel the absence of your venom in your veins, It’s craving for life dormant.

 

You’ve tried the usual process that brings the venom alive, the remembrance of your life before Raeix, your friends, Minju, but nothing. You tried bringing forward the strong hatred you have for Raeix, how they took everything with the snap of their fingers, as if it was nothing, but the venom just doesn’t come forward. It stays hidden, lingering deep within you.

 

A groan, and you bury your head in your hands. What’s wrong with you? Why won’t your powers work? They were working yesterday, so what about today?

 

You managed to take the life of a hill you found by the fields you practice in. You felt the life of the plants flowing throughout your body, and while you want to focus on how you hate to admit that it felt nice, you can only think about how you are suddenly blocked from using your newfound power.

 

Slamming your palms onto the surface of the asteroid, dust lifts from the ground and floats. You’re frustrated. How could this not work? You need it to work so you can be sure that you are able to accomplish what you are here for, and it suddenly refuses to work now? Of all times?

 

You take a deep inhale, one in an attempt to calm yourself, but it does nothing. Instead, tears are brought to your eyes.

 

Everything unexpectedly feels real. Too real.

 

Reality is finally starting to sink in. You are lying to Sakura, you’re using her, you’re going to take everything from her. She does not deserve that at all, especially after everything she’s been through. The toying and mind games the Council play on her is enough, she does not need a mistrustful person in her life. No, she deserves so much more.

 

And yet you can’t seem to stay away. You continue to crawl into her arms when she’s near, you fall asleep next to her, you reside in her home. You accept her comfort as if it is any other thing in the universe.

 

A sob escapes your lips. You continue to return to her home after you practice with your power, deceiving her with your words and lies. You haven’t even backed down after she discovered the dust on your face after her inauguration. The dust that was directly a result of the death of another flower you practiced on.

 

You continue to spew lies, telling her that you’ve gone out for air, you’ve gone on a walk, that you were doing anything but planning the end of her planet, and the guilt… the guilt has come to be enough for you to stop. 

 

It has been tempting, stopping your cause and living a normal life with Sakura on Raeix, but even thinking about it does not sound right to you.

 

Having a normal life? On Raeix?

 

Venom seeps into your veins, crashing in strong waves and sending a rush of adrenaline throughout your body.

 

Heavy breaths in, and the venom spreads to your arms and legs. You didn’t want the source of your venom to be the guilt of your actions. It only proves that you are aware that what you’re doing is wrong, that you don’t deserve to be in Sakura’s life, that you should stop.

 

You want to stop, you want to so badly, but you can’t. You’re in too deep, and Sakura will get hurt no matter what you choose to do. 

 

The venom sends chills down your spine, and you feel as if the cosmos drops several degrees in temperature. Your muscles tense, shaking out of control as your eyes glow a deep red.

 

Sobs continue to leave your mouth. You are feeling too much, remembering too much. Your guilt, power, your love. A deep breath, and the venom rushes from your core to your head, causing it to throb in pain, but you don’t stop it.

 

The ground below you rumbles. You watch as small cracks form in front of you, chunks of rock and pebbles lifting into space and floating above the gray ground. Your knees dig into the surface, dusting your black pants with gray soot. 

 

You can’t stop now. You have to– another breath– you have to keep going. Tears flow down your face. Your head, your muscles, they throb in agony. Another deep breath and–

 

You’re floating in the abyss. Chunks of the asteroid float a distance from you, its dust gathering in the empty space. You want to feel proud, accomplished because you finally are able to destroy at least something, but the guilt takes over. You break down in tears, keeping your head down.

 

“What’s next then, Chae?”

 

Your thoughts are interrupted by a new voice, one that sounds oddly familiar. One that—

 

Eyes widen, because this should be impossible. For one, sound cannot travel in space. Two? She should be dead. There’s no doubt in your mind that she should be dead.

 

You can’t bring yourself to look up, to look behind you. You don’t want to see her. Tears continue to fall down your cheeks, and your breath quickens.

 

This is fake. This isn’t real, Chaewon, it can’t be. Calm yourself.

 

But her voice, it sounds so close, so real. 

 

Back when technology was still new, in the original world, a dead person being brought back to life was unheard of. Now, however, the way life and death is handled has changed. It is not impossible for one to be brought back to life using the newest technology, although morally wrong. In most cases, a person is left dead, left to find if heaven and hell exists, or if they are destined to the black abyss that is death. Except, there have been recent cases of the dead being resurrected, living as if they did not lose their life in the first place. It’s possible for her to have been found by someone that has the knowledge of resurrection, but the chances are low, because out of the millions of Paridian citizens, why would she have been chosen? Above all, why would anyone with knowledge of resurrection have wandered into the remains of Paridiy?

 

Nonetheless, you hear her voice, and you feel her presence. She is here, floating in space with you, watching as you battle with your thoughts. 

 

You feel her cold, cold stare that pierces through your body, the venom in your veins spiking.

 

This can’t be real. You saw Paridiy, the remains drifting in the cosmos, the lifeless bodies that could not have survived such a catastrophe. She could not have survived, she was not a–

 

“You telling yourself that doesn’t stop the reality in which you’re wrong, Chae.”

 

She laughs. “You have to start accepting the actual truth. I mean, what do you know? You haven’t even seen me yet.”

 

You squeeze your eyes shut, taking in another deep inhale. You let it out shakily. She isn’t real, she isn’t real.

 

As you fly back in the direction of Raeix away from the debris, you attempt to push all other thoughts away, but you feel her presence behind you. It’s… It’s impossible, though. She isn’t supposed to have powers, none at all. She’s a regular human, and you’re sure of it.

 

She isn’t real. She isn’t real.

 

“You’re going back to lying to the girl you supposedly love? That isn’t the Chaewon we knew. You weren’t a liar when you were in Paridiy.” She snickers, and you have to cover your ears as you fly back to Raeix. “You can try to ignore me all you want, but even you know you’re wrong. You admitted it.”

 

You want so badly to look her in the eyes, tell her that she’s wrong, but you know she’s right. And so you ignore her, not responding as you approach Raeix’s atmosphere.

 

She continues to spew your innermost thoughts, saying things that you wish would stop, that you wish you could forget about, but it continues to torture your mind. How you left them, your friends and past lover, to die, how you’re just as bad as Raeix for planning this, for attempting to get revenge. That you’re no better than them even if you believe your reasons are justified.

 

You feel the burn of the atmosphere as you enter Raeix, but the feeling of her stare lingers. You hear the small smile in her voice when she speaks, how her words intensify as she watches you flinch in pain from the burn. You hear how she says she can’t forgive you with a voice as cold as the cosmos.

 

You turn around, allowing yourself to float high above Raeix’s surface. You meet Yuri’s eyes.

 

“Will you stop?” You finally face her, and she looks as real as ever. You can feel yourself begin to choke up “Just stop, Yuri. Please.”

 

“What happened?” She snickers, approaching you and grabbing onto your shoulders. “Didn’t you think I was dead?”

You turn your gaze away from her, unable to stop this torturous effect of your guilt when you look at your friend. You don’t need your late best friend to tell you these things, to make you feel more guilty than you already are.

 

Yuri clicks her tongue. “You know, you’re the only one adding to this guilt, Chaewon. You could have your ‘happy ending’, tell the girl you love the truth, the complete truth, and live a new life.” 

 

She pauses, allowing you a moment to let her words sink in, but you already know that Sakura wouldn’t want to be with you if she knew the truth. Who would want to be with a liar?

 

“But,” She continues, and you can hear the utter sorrow in her tone as she speaks. “You continue to make yourself suffer.”

 

You shake your head. “She wouldn’t love me if I told her why I’m here. A liar isn’t deserving of love.”

Your friend hums. Her arms cross over her chest, her blank stare piercing your soul. She continues to stare, letting you feel the disappointment she feels towards you with her gaze. Your heart drops, because this is confirmation that your friends and Minju, they’re disappointed in you.

 

You push her hands away, continuing your descent to the ground and to Sakura’s apartment. The view of Magi comes into view, its once beautiful and bright skyscrapers tinted gray to your eye like how it looked when you first landed on Raeix. Dread washes over you as you examine Sakura’s home city, the familiar dread you feel whenever you are about to lie to her.

 

“Tell her the truth, and your guilt is gone”

 

Ignore her, Chaewon. She’s not real. She’s– you feel yourself begin to choke up– she’s dead.

 

When you land on the ground in front of Sakura’s apartment complex, you don’t bother to greet the gardener as you always do. You instead attempt to hide your face as you know it’s evident that you have been crying. You don’t want to be questioned. 

 

You walk past the gardener, who continues with his work.

 

“The kind Chaewon we knew would have offered to help out.” You hear your friend say, her fake self continuing to follow you. You do your best to ignore her, but it proves to be difficult as she continues to persist that you’ve changed. 

 

Unlocking Sakura’s apartment, you step inside and close the door before your old friend can enter behind you, but it doesn’t stop her.

 

“The kind Chaewon we knew would always wait for a friend,” She says, appearing in front of you. You jump, your back pressing against the door in shock, Her dull eyes pierce your gaze, and you feel tears begin to brim your eyes. She has never looked at you like this, like she hates you most in the universe.

 

Yuri continues to stare, intimidating you with her gaze. Your heart palpitates, already knowing what it means.

 

“People, they change,” You finally reply, your voice quivering as you look away from her. Maybe if you do, she’ll finally go away. “Alright?”

 

Her gaze persists. She looks at you with a hatred you never knew she had. “Oh, I know that, but I don’t want you to change into someone you would have hated.”

 

There is another long silence, and you refuse to move from your spot in front of the door. You should be happy. You’re seeing your best friend that you thought was dead, but you can’t bring yourself to feel any positive emotions when Yuri has made it painfully obvious that she is disappointed in what you have become and frankly, you can’t imagine how she would be if you were reunited with her under different circumstances. Maybe a meeting with her was never supposed to be happy. Maybe your ending with her was never supposed to be a good one.

 

“Don’t think that.” She says with a softer tone. In it, you recognize the tone that she used to use to console you. It adds on to the guilt that you already feel. You have done something so horrible to her, and she is still giving you compassion. She doesn’t deserve that.

 

You hear her take a breath as she takes a step forward. Soon enough, she’s in your arms as your whole body shakes. A comforting hand on your back. “You know that– that I’ll always be your friend, right? It doesn’t matter what you do. I’ll always be your friend.”

 

And your heart shatters.

 

You feel a small drop of venom drip into your veins.

 

Yuri pulls away from your hug, smiling at you gently. “I hope you realize that you’ve grown stronger since the last time I’ve seen you.”

 

More venom in your veins. You can feel those bitter emotions, those thoughts telling you your doubts about yourself.

 

“I think… I think you could do it.”

 

Your shaking body freezes, the venom in your veins calming when you hear her words. This is what you wanted to hear, this is what you needed to hear to keep going.

 

“It may not be right, but I think you could do it.” Your friend says once more, the confidence in her voice increases when she does. Her hands grip onto your shoulders, squeezing reassuringly as she studies you with sad eyes. “You just do what you think you have to do.”

 

You have to get revenge, make Raeix feel what you felt when you lost everything, make them feel how your friends did, how Minju did when their lives were suddenly taken from them. You need them to know how it fee–

 

You feel Yuri’s gaze on you. You meet her eyes. She watches you expectantly, as if she has a question. After knowing her for so long, it’s only natural that you can tell what she is thinking.

 

“Did you ever love her?”

 

Nothing could have ever prepared you for such a question. You feel your heart plummet, as you know she can only mean Minju or Sakura. 

 

“Who?”

 

Yuri lets her eyes wander, taking in your new home. “Minju. Did you ever love Minju?”

 

It has been so long since you heard love and Minju in the same sentence. It feels surreal, your mind rushing back to the blissful memories you made with her. The soft laughs, the teasing, the intimate moments you held close to your heart for years.

 

The memories of comfort when she would hold you in her embrace, how she would always whisper sweet nothings to you. You’re reminded of those moments in an instant, your feelings suddenly overwhelming you as they come crashing in waves so high, you cannot escape them.

 

And yet, they seem farther away than ever before, now. When you think about your past lover, you can only feel the anger, the utter shame of not being able to protect her, your hatred for Raeix. The once warm feelings have now turned to venom when you do think about her, and even then, you can’t remember the last time you have thought about her.

 

But, you did love her. That, you can’t deny.

 

More venom drips into your veins, sending jolts to your spine, causing your hands to tremble.

“I did… love her, yes.”

 

You avoid saying her name, as if it’s a sin to say the name of your dead loved one. Averting your gaze from Yuri’s, you take her hands from your shoulder so you can move. You walk away, not bothering to wait for your friend. You don’t want to see the disappointment in her gaze.

 

“But you fell in love with— with a Raeixan, so quickly.”

 

You hear it, the utter confusion and betrayal in her voice when she mentions your relationship with Sakura. 

 

But, you let a small smile slip onto your face at the mention of her, of being in love with her. You would never admit it outloud to yourself. Maybe to Sakura directly, but saying it aloud to yourself makes it feel wrong, would make you feel how Yuri does. 

 

Betrayed.

 

Except, the mere thought of Sakura eases the venom that threatens to spill from your hands. The thought of her warmth, her soothing calm voice that can lull you to sleep in minutes. She is the one that is able to drown out your nightmares that haunt you at night, she is the one that is most considerate of how reserved you are, the one that protects you from the Raeixan officials that want nothing more than to break you as Council Member Hong did.

 

Sakura cares for you. Not that Minju didn’t, but that was in the past. You can’t hold onto the past any longer.

 

Your blood freezes, your thoughts being overshadowed by the ones that tell you that you’re a hypocrite.

 

A vibration to your wristband, and you snap out of your trance. 

 

Looking up, you notice how Yuri is no longer standing in front of you. She appears to have disappeared, but to where? It’s impossible for her to be familiar with anything on Raeix as the borders were closed to Paridians since before you can remember, so there is no doubt in your mind that she doesn’t know where specifically in Raeix she is in. She must have gone elsewhere when you weren’t answering her, but to be honest with yourself, you would rather not speak to her now.

 

You would much rather focus on anything other than your past, right now.

 

Opening the message you received, you smile when you see that it is from Sakura.

 

Meet me by the entrance of the Division Hall. I want to show you something ♡

 

You find it strange how a simple message containing a heart can cause your heart to race, can cause pink to dust your cheeks.

 

How it can cause your mood to change in an instant.

 

Without wasting another second, you move to the closet that stores your clothes. You quickly change into new, cleaner clothes as you discard the clothes covered in gray ash into a pile of dirty laundry. A flash of guilt passes over you, but you do your very best to ignore it as you pull on your shoes and grab your keys.

 

You are out of the apartment within seconds, rushing down the stairs and taking a running start before you leap into the air. Flying into the city, you breathe in the fresh, clean air. 

 

You pass the white buildings, the ones covered in glass. You pass several monuments, the statues that commemorate people of significance in Raeixan history, the landmarks that were built from the money taken from your planet.

 

Grimacing, you turn away and focus on the direction you are heading in.

You can’t be certain that they used your planet’s wealth to construct their guilty pleasures.

 

The Hall comes into view, its mirrored glass reflecting the Sun’s light. You begin to make your descent, and you have to squint because of the air blowing into your face. Soon enough, you see a familiar head of dark-gray hair, causing your heart to race and a smile to form on your face.

 

The guilt has been tearing you apart, so much that breathing the Raeixan air you know signifies freedom from the words of Paridians about seraphs has felt suffocating. However, when your eyes land on her, you are finally able to feel free. Her warm, calming aura that seems to allow you to rest.

 

Landing on the gray concrete, your eyes meet hers. She looks… exhausted. Her eyes don’t have their usual gleam. You have noticed, it has been different since she was inaugurated. There is a sadness in her eyes, one that you know all too well as it is what you see when you look in the mirror.

 

It has been different since that day. Sakura has still been affectionate, that hasn’t changed whatsoever, but she has been distracted. You could be talking to her, and it would be evident that she wasn’t paying attention. It didn’t happen much at first, but it gradually increased as the days passed. Something happened on that day, but she won’t tell you what.

 

Sakura shoots up from the bench she rests on, the smile you have reciprocated when she sees you. Your steps quicken, your arms reaching out to her. Her body crashes into your, her arms wrapping around your body tightly, clutching onto the back of your sweater. You waste no time to return the hug.

 

“Couldn’t wait to get home to see me?” You ask with a soft chuckle, poking fun at her to try and distract her from whatever it is that troubles her. Sakura pulls away, a grimace on her face as she scoffs at your words. 

“I could just send you home and not show you anything at all, if that’s what you want.”

 

One of her hands slides down to your own, intertwining your fingers with hers. Your heart, still racing, grows warm at the gesture. A deep breath in. This is freedom.

 

You shake your head, your laughter growing. “You do that, and you know you’ll be missing me more than ever.”

 

Sakura smiles pulling you closer as she begins to lead you down the concrete path. “I know,” She responds with a tone as warm as the Sun.

 

As you walk, your chatter with her continues. You ask about her day, and she responds with a sad smile when she tells you that it was the same as always. She asks about yours, and the venom picks up in your veins when you lie that nothing eventful happened. You ask if any of her higher ups disturbed her today, to which she lets a silence longer than what you are used to settle before she answers with a simple ‘no’.

 

Instead of continuing the conversation, Sakura takes the hand that holds yours and moves it so she holds your waist. She leads you down the path that is towered over by the tall green trees that surround the Division Hall. The concrete path changes to dirt as she leads you further down the path.

 

It is then that you realize how much you trust her. You are blind to where you are going, unfamiliar with this part of Magi that Sakura introduces you to. You simply follow, walking to wherever she takes you.

 

“You’re not going to ask about what I called you here for?” Sakura breaks the silence with a smug smile on her face. She’s amused, and you let out a soft laugh of your own.

“Should I? Why not keep it a surprise?” 

 

The girl shrugs, poking your waist as her smile widens. You jump in surprise, giving her a playful glare before she pulls you closer and lets her head rest on your shoulder as she laughs.

 

“I just thought you would be curious, is all.”

 

Sakura pulls her hand away from your waist, and you have to suppress the disappointment you feel when her hand no longer provides you warmth and moves to hold your hand again. You do enjoy the feeling of her hand in yours, but the feeling of her holding you close as she just did is like no other. 

 

She continues leading you down the path, and your confusion only grows when the trees begin to clear and the dirt path changes back to the same concrete as the one at the Division Hall. You don’t know how you didn’t see it when flying. It most certainly would be hard to miss, and somehow you did.

 

A tall, mirror covered building stands in the center of the clearing, towering over you easily. On the path that leads up to the entrance of the building is a fountain, spewing water elegantly as the lights brighten the water to various enchanting colors. As you walk down the path and Sakura leads you around the grand fountain, your eyes dart from place to place. Wooden benches, flower blushes, and refined lamps that illuminate the path to the entrance. 

“What is this place?” You finally ask, turning your head to properly look at the girl that holds your heart. Sakura’s smile widens, her eyes brightening.

 

“This is the core of Raeix, quite literally.”

 

Now, you’re not one that usually mishears people. You are attentive when one talks to you, especially Sakura, but you can’t help but feel as if you can’t trust your ears. She said that this is what?

 

“The core? As in the center of the planet?”

 

Sakura nods, and you are struck with disbelief. Your mouth is agape, and eyes widen, because how is that possible? “Well, not exactly the core, but we can get to it from inside the building.”

 

“You’re saying this like it’s any other thing,” You let out a scoff, surprise still evident from your expression. Sakura snickers, and a small smile forces itself on your face at how adorable that was.

 

As you approach the mirror covered building your mind floods with many thoughts you wish you could ignore. You should be cherishing your time with the girl you love, the one that holds your heart dearly, and yet you seem to be focusing on your purpose for being on Raeix. Mainly because your eyes meet those of your old friend’s.

 

Yuri stands up from the bench she rests on, a smile on her lips as she waits for you to pass with Sakura. Your eyes are locked on hers, and you know that she can tell your blood has once again run cold. After waiting for you and Sakura to walk a few more steps, she begins to follow a small distance behind.

A tug to your hand, and you turn your head to meet Sakura’s eyes instead. Her’s hold concern, worry for you as you try your best to conceal your shock.

 

“Are you okay?” She asks in a gentle voice, and you feel your heart beginning to calm from the initial shock of seeing Yuri again. You nod, taking in a breath as your mind scrambles to find the most believable answer as to why you are acting this way.

 

“I feel like… like she’s judging me,” You answer quietly so Yuri won’t hear. Sakura’s eyebrows only furrow in what you think is confusion. You nod in Yuri’s direction, not wanting to seem off for not clearing up her confusion. “That girl behind us.”

 

Sakura turns her head to look behind her, and you go to stop her because then that would make her acknowledge Yuri, and something about someone from your past meeting someone of your present sends fear throughout your body, but when she turns back, her confusion is still there along with that concern she holds for you.

 

“There’s no one there, Chaewon…”

 

“Yes, there i–”

 

Swiftly, you turn your head back to look at Yuri. Your eyes meet hers, and she smiles, though her eyebrows curve upwards. She shakes her head slowly, and chills run down your spine. 

 

You feel Sakura place her hands on your arms, forcing you to look back at her. “What’s wrong?”

 

Sakura can’t see her… but you can? 

 

If Yuri is here, standing in front of you, how can Sakura not see her? She even spoke to you, 

 

You stare at Yuri, her saddened smile persists as she holds her gaze on you. There’s no hint that she knows who Sakura is, but you know that she can tell just what she means to you. It leaves you feeling cold again, the warmth Sakura provides being overpowered.

 

Your stomach feels heavy with dread, and you force yourself to take a shuddering breath before answering. “It– She–” You struggle to find words that don’t sound as if you’re insane, but failing miserably due to your nerves. Your fingers twist nervously at your sides, your fingernails digging into your palms. 

 

You shake your head, turning to face Sakura again. “It’s nothing. I just…” As soon as the words come out, you regret them. It’s selfish and cowardly to lie to her, but you know that if you don’t, everything will fall apart. “I swear, there was someone there.” You finish saying, your voice dying out, weakening as the amount of lies you tell continue to build. 

A soft squeeze to your forearm, and your attention is once again brought to Sakura. She watches you with a gentle gaze, one that is almost similar to that of Yuri’s, except hers holds reassurance, affection, and love.

 

“It’s okay, I believe you.”

 

You feel your lips twitch at her words. Believing you is the one thing s