XIII: TREDECIM

“Come in.”

The door swings open, and the dim candle lights trace out her silhouette.

She speaks first. “Hey.”

I raise my brows without a word.

“Um…” She fidgets with the fabric of her skirt and bites the edges of her lips.

I was never a person who goes to bed early. Well, not when my mind is filled with nightmarish screams, not when the poison still wrecks my bones, and not when I still see my sister under her grave.

It’s unexpected that she’ll visit me in such a late hour. If it was someone else, I would’ve ignored— but it’s her, and I only worry if anything has happened to our deal.

“I— I’m sorry for disturbing you at this hour.” She sends a glance towards my way. It’s entirely different, and way more formal than how she usually talks. I feel a twinge of unease creep up my stomach.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

I feel a part of me tense up, wondering if there’s anything that went wrong.

After all, she’s not a person who loses her composure easily.

“I’ve heard about the winner of the Princess selection.”

The twinge of unease in my stomach loosens.

She didn’t come for our wedding, she came for someone else’s.

She stares into my eyes. “Will you be able to make any changes?”

I return the stare into her orbs.

I wonder how much courage she had for her to come to me when she knew her best friend would become the Princess.

“I—” She forces a smile, wondering how she could convince me without spilling out her visions. I know she doesn’t want her best friend to become the Princess, because she will die.

I know everything about her, yet she knows nothing of it.

“I know it’s a bit late — I mean, the decree will be issued tomorrow — but… I— well, I don’t think Soojung is the best Princess candidate — I mean, you know exactly what state district seven is in— they won’t make a strong family for Prince Kai. It’ll be a waste of time to get her as the Princess.”

“If you’re really thinking for Prince Kai, shouldn’t you get him a better Queen? I mean, Prince Myungsoo has his ambitions and wouldn’t it be better if you get Prince Kai a stronger back-up?” She rambles on and on, sending me a few side-glance, hoping she would see any ice break from my expression.

I watch her craft layers of lies, when I already knew the harsh truth.

I wonder why she thinks I’ll help her.

Just because she saw through the hatred I have for the sentinels, just because she’s been playing our game of acting, and just because she is wearing my family ring —

That doesn’t mean I stand by her side.

In fact, we are never people on the same side - I have my plans, and she has her own. In order to weaken the King’s powers, I have to create a drift between him and House Aqua. There is no other lady available for the King, and Lady Jung is the only option.

I have already struck a deal with her, and by doing this, I have taken the King’s best choice and created a small thrift in the King's heart. I can’t do any further.

I’m already trying to maintain her safe house, and advance my own plans at the same time. If she wants me to do more, I can never do so.

Because I’m not just her safe house. I’m also her poison.

She is only my nobody — and even if we will be tied by a vow in one month’s time — she will only be a nobody.

A deal partner, a business partner and a healer.

And I will not let her step over my lines.

Watching my frosty expression, she stops rambling and stares into my buttoned eyes, waiting for my answer.

“The King already made his choice.” I simply tell her. This is the only thing I can say to her — that there is no such thing as utopia. I am not her genie and her wish.

I am her business partner, and that’s it.

The calmness on her mask cracks, and she takes another step forward. She gulps, takes a glance upwards, and blinks ferociously against the dim lights —

And I feel this feeling in my chest again.

The feeling that appeared when she settled in my arms under the fluttering snowflakes, when she sent a calculated smile towards my way, and when her luscious lips gleamed under the moonlight.

If it was someone else, they would’ve been sent out of my door right away.

A lady asking for the Marquis to alter the results of Princess selection? No way.

But it is this feeling, this feeling that makes me let her stay in my office for another minute, and let her find more excuses and reasons to persuade me.

And this feeling only makes my blood boil.

I try to shake off the feeling, as my gaze hardens on her. “Why don’t you want her to be Princess?”

Somehow, all I want is to hear the truth from .

The truth that she had these visions from all the time, and that she saw her own death as Princess. The truth that she just didn’t want her best friend to replace her place for death.

But she doesn’t. Instead, she tries to pull out another layer of deception.

She flinches and forces another smile. “The palace is a dangerous place. I—I mean— who would want to see their friends in danger?”

A flicker of annoyance zooms past my chest.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

The lies she crafted when she struck our deal, the mask she engraved when she created our story-line, and the role she enacted when… she sent a smile towards my way.

And that’s what I’ve done to her too.

Craft lies, engrave masks, and enact roles.

There will only be lies in our relationship and that’s it.

Yes, Lee Taemin. Shoo her out. I tell myself. There’s no point for her to stay. Things have been set, and moves were made.

She can do nothing about it, and neither can you.

“So you came all the way here, and knocked on my door in the middle of the night, just for a private request?” My voice comes out harsher than expected, but that’s the point I want to make.

She freezes under my words.

“I may be your so-called husband very soon, but we have boundaries, Son Naeun. I’m not your magic box, and I don’t grant your wishes.”

I see a flinch of pain on her face.

“This is already the second time you’ve stepped over my line, Son Naeun.”

“There will be no next time.”

Her silhouette vanishes.

I frown, until I hear a thud on the ground.

Her knees fell to the ground. Her head was lowered, and now I notice her hair looked more dishevelled than usual, and I see that her fabric dress crumbled under the curled fists at her side.

And her voice comes out as soft as feather.

“I know this is a request that is almost impossible to accomplish.” It trails off as a whisper.

“And I know—” I hear a slight hitch in her breath. “I know— we are only tied by the deal.”

She bites her lip, then brings her head to the floor.

“But could you please—”

Her croaking voice quavers.

“Bring Soojung out of darkness.”

The room turns eerily quiet, and a low buzz follow the deafening silence.

But it is the faintest taps on my wooden floor that draws my attention.

Her head was still lowered, but I catch the dark drips that land on my floor.

I don’t see a running waterfall down her face — her head was lowered so I couldn’t see a thing, but instead I see her bitten lips, curled fists and crumbled dress.

This is the first time I’ve seen her cry in front of my eyes.

Obviously, she did shed some dramatic tears, but those were not her true emotions.

This — her hoarse voice, glossy eyes and the drips on the floor are the proof of her real self.

The truth.

I know she doesn’t want her friend to die.

But there’s no turning back on appointing who’s the Princess. She doesn’t understand — I had to do it to ensure that everything is safe, to ensure that my status and favouritism is preserved and to ensure that the safe house that she is looking for is still strong and secure.

It is for the sake of everything.

For the sake of everything I’ve lived for, for the sake of my family, for the sake of my people who have long suffered under his tyranny.

And yet somehow I found myself understanding her desperation. She had just knew her family would die, and spent months trying to avoid that. But she didn’t know, that changing the future came with a price - and that price is her best friend.

I remain silent for another while, as she wipes her face with her head still lowered.

When she lifts up her head, she was still on her knees. Her glossy eyes gleams under the dim candle lights.

A part of me wants to yell at her, to tell her stop being so naive, to say that it’s over and she can’t do anything anymore, and I won’t be able to do it for her.

But sand builds up in my throat, and the only thing I manage to force out is —

“I can’t.” I say. My hoarse voice is as soft as hers.

Once a move had been placed, it cannot be undone.

I extinguished the only faint flicker of candle light that shone in her eyes, and all light disappears from her orbs.

Somehow I’d want to tell her, that if she could change her own future, maybe she could change her friend’s future too.

Lady Jung Soojung may be a princess, but that doesn’t mean she’ll die.

I can’t remove the wedding but I can at least make the bride live.

I can spare the new Princess's life and House Glacies, I can ensure her safety when Prince Myungsoo invades, I can keep her out of the war.

The words travel to my lips, and yet when I open my mouth, only two words echo in the air.

“I’m sorry.”

She rises up to her feet without a word.

The door clicks shut.

~~~~~~~~

When dawn breaks, the Spring Solstice arrives. It brings warm beams to the green sprouts, and a moist breeze to the land.

For centuries, the royal family holds a flower show in celebration of the arrival of Spring. Dressed in their respective colours, all twelve houses settle to their designated seats. For most houses, the three-month stay in the capitol is soon over, and they will travel back to their own districts until the next Winter solstice. The nobles and ladies exchange greetings and smiles, but they couldn’t hide the anxiousness in their eyes.

Because the results of Princess selection — imprinted on a golden scroll — will be announced very soon.

Only a few houses sat quietly on their seats.

The house of ice had a layer of frost in their eyes. Despite knowing that they will be chosen, no one in the family had shown any joy about it. Underneath the table cloth, the elder sibling clutched her younger sister’s hand, but the latter only stared blankly into space.

The house of nature, on the other hand, should be relaxed and laid back - after all, thanks to the betrothal with the Marquis, they were exempted from the selection. The old high lord and his high lady sat comfortably on their seats, but the future-Marchioness closed her eyes briefly against the bright rays. The heavy powder barely covered her swollen eyes.

Before their entrance, the King took a glance at the green meadows. He was sandwiched between his two sons.

“The sprouts seem to be growing well.”

“Should we alter the food prices this year?” He turns to his crown prince, who still had a daze in his eyes. Prince Kai spent the whole night overjoyed over the results of Princess selection. He had no clue and interest on the food prices.

The King frowned ever so slightly as Prince Myungsoo spoke cynically. “Well, if the Crown Prince doesn’t know, then of course I would be clueless.”

“You should ask the cabinet for that, father.” Prince Myungsoo scoffed.

The King felt his blood boil. His Crown Prince was indifferent, while his eldest son was rebellious. If he were to spare another glance at his two sons, he felt like his brain would explode.

He turned towards the lord standing a few meters behind them.

“Marquis?”

“Your majesty, currently we are at 74 cents per pound for fine wheat, and 58 for mixed. There is still unrest in the country, so I suggest we keep it the same this year.”

“It’s a relief that I have a minister like you, Taemin.” The King nodded, ignoring his embarrassed heir and his scornful son.

……

“It is with the greatest of pleasure that the King, who governs with the mandate of heaven, declares the betrothal of his dearly beloved heir to the throne, the Crown Prince Kim Jongin Kai, to Lady Jung Soojung, daughter of House Glacies.”

“The wedding will take place in Summer Solstice of 237NE.” The Chamberlain announced.

The announcement received mix emotions from the royal family. A frown that zoomed past the Queen’s brows, the pursed lips of Princess Jennie, raised brows from Prince Myungsoo, a flicker of surprise from his mother, Concubine Kwon, and finally, a shy glance and tinted cheeks from the Crown Prince.

For the high lords and ladies, it was a pot of lava simmering under the earth’s surface. House Glacies forced their smiles and stood up to receive the golden scroll with their knees on the floor. House Aqua gritted their teeth as they directed their boiling gazes to the frosty house and the Queen.

Everyone else tried hard to conceal their widened eyes.

While Lady Naeun of House Natura directed her heavy gaze to the skies, Lady Suzy Bae of House Aqua sent her trembling gaze towards a lone figure, seated right under the stage.

Her blood turned cold and her legs turned into stone.

His voice was a haunted curse that echoed in her ears.

“You seem to forget, Lady Bae - that not only the King and Prince Kai are involved in the Princess selection.”

“With one word of mine, who knows what the King would think of the Aquas?”

“Will he still think you’ll be worthy for his highness, his dearest son?”

She almost slumped back to her seat, closing her shivering her eyelids. When they fluttered open, she directed her sharp daggers to the lady of nature. It was her. Son Naeun, who made her lose everything.

Meanwhile, the crowd faked their smiles and sent fawning words to the frosty house, knowing that they had to please their future-Queen.

“Lady Jung, congratulations!” Those who had talked behind her backs all huddled around the new Princess, including Lady Kwon and the Duchess. Lady Bae joined later as well, forcing the best smile out of her face.

When the flower show started, the crowd dispersed, leaving the Crown Prince and Lady Jung to occupy an aisle of their own. The rest of the families shrunk off to the back.

“Your Grace, out of all people, why did she become the Princess?” Lady Kwon complained, earning a scornful twist on the Duchess’s lips.

“Who knows.” She muttered.