mild tw: mentions of vomiting without any detailed description. i really didn't go into details, but maybe some find it really uncomfortable, so beware~

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Donghae kept observing the lunchbox he was holding on the way to school. The boy couldn’t help but continued rotating it in his hands carefully, just to not mess the food inside up. As if this plain white box could change somehow and show him something he never saw before.

Well, he never saw such box before. Simply because it was the very first lunchbox… he prepared himself. Partially.

Donghae bit his lip as he remembered the playful look his mom sent him when he announced he wanted to bring a lunchbox to school – something he never did before – and offered to participate in cooking. Although the boy tried to say he simply was curious and actually liked yesterday’s paella and wanted to finish it at school with some additions… his mother still said, “I’m glad Hyukjae liked my paella.”

Donghae blushed. He didn’t know why. Just like he didn’t know why he wanted to hide the fact he was going to give that lunchbox to the guy or why he wanted to do it at least. He simply… simply felt really nice after they spent time together yesterday. And also… also he couldn’t get rid of the feeling he was the only one who kept receiving pretty much without giving something in return. And Donghae wanted to do something nice to Hyukjae.

That was about it. He simply wanted to be nice towards the guy, that’s why this weird urge to prepare salad – not like there were many things you could add to a paella as a side dish – and feed Hyukjae.

The boy sighed on his way to school. Sighed even heavier once he entered it, looking around involuntarily. Not like he was afraid the very same guys would attack him right now – not like he was afraid at all – or there will be others to do that. He just… something told him that looking around wasn’t the worst habit out of all. Who knows – maybe if only he was looking around on his birthday he’d still be properly alive…

Donghae sighed once again and entered the class, feeling how his heart skipped a beat once he noticed Hyukjae sitting there. It was rare for the guy to get to school earlier than him, but the boy was so happy it happened, he simply…

He was happy. To see Hyukjae. To be around. Everything they told each other earlier… refused to leave his mind in peace. Donghae didn’t really sleep well – he kept replaying that exact moment when they told they loved each other. And, although that wasn’t a confession even, he kept giggling at times, kept blushing, kept wanting to smack himself for such reactions.

Those thoughts kept him up for most of the night, leaving the boy only a few hours to sleep, but he wasn’t tired even. He was excited. Excited to go to school and see Hyukjae there.

That was weird for so many reasons. First, it’s not like they haven’t seen each other long enough for him to feel this way. And even if there was no requirement to not see each other for long to feel excited, it still was weird. Because it’s not like… not like it was just yesterday when Donghae felt everything he felt. Whether he acknowledged them or not, those feelings existed for long time already, the only thing that changed was that he talked about them…

No. No, that wasn’t the only thing that changed.

The second reason of why feeling like that was weird had to be the fact that Hyukjae couldn’t change the fact their school became his own little hell for Donghae, so it was odd to feel excited coming here. Yet, somehow, Hyukjae changed it. He changed it by saying those words yesterday.

The words that kept Donghae up whole night and kept making his heart either beat faster or stop beating at all. Globally, nothing changed for the boy. But at the same time, everything changed. Because Hyukjae said he loved him, too. Or at least he loved being with him. Whatever they meant by that word as of now.

And seeing Hyukjae in the class was enough to make Donghae feel happy even if the guy was sitting with his eyes closed and with earphones protecting him from the sounds of the outer world.

Trying to suppress the smile, Donghae moved towards him and plopped down on the chair beside the guy. He didn’t try to be secretive, but Hyukjae didn’t notice him. So the boy needed to poke his shoulder to attract the guy’s attention.

The older among the two frowned in nothing but utter displeasure when he felt the touch and literally sent a death glare to Donghae, making the latter gulp and feel uneasy… only for Hyukjae’s gaze to soften up once he realized who was beside him and say, “Oh, it’s you. Should’ve known no one else was going to touch me like that.”

The boy’s heart started beating even faster and something that reminded him of joy appeared in his chest. He probably should’ve been feeling afraid or at least uneasy after being looked at like that, but instead… All Donghae’s mind was able to focus on was the fact that Hyukjae looked like he was going to beat someone’s when he thought their classmate or whoever touched him, but his eyes softened once he made sure that was Donghae.

Because, apparently…

Donghae was the only person in their class who could touch Hyukjae like that.

If only the guy knew what was on the boy’s mind, he’d definitely say…

“Dramatic.”

Donghae blinked once he realized Hyukjae actually said that out loud.

Tilting his head, the boy commented, “I didn’t say anything though?”

“It’s all written on your face – you were deep in thoughts. And those thoughts were very dramatic, I can tell.”

Donghae snorted, “Now I can’t even think in peace without being called dramatic?”

Oh, his thoughts definitely were much more tender than the way these two talked now. These boys… they could be tender. They were tender to each other earlier. But seemed like the unnecessary bickering became something usual for them, and many people would’ve found that exhausting… But Donghae thought it was making him feel more alive than he usually felt.

“You can. If you won’t be giving me that look.”

“What look am I giving you?”

That sounded like a challenge. There were only a few people in that classroom apart from them and gladly, those three girls who came there as well were busy chatting and didn’t mind the two. Maybe that’s why Donghae was brave enough to lock his eyes on Hyukjae’s and ask that question. Trying him out. Basically, demanding to be at least half as open as they were yesterday.

The guy didn’t look away. He faced that gaze bravely and spoke quietly, just to make sure others won’t hear, “As if we’re filming a romance drama and having a moment.”

Donghae his lips, “Well, we aren’t filming a romance drama for sure.”

“We aren’t. But are we having a moment?”

The younger choked on his saliva and that’s why his voice cracked when he said, “Do you want us to?”

And then, Hyukjae did something Donghae didn’t expect him to do.

He didn’t say anything, didn’t comment on that. He just… smiled. It wasn’t a smirk, although looked really similar to one. But no, it was a smile. With only one corner of his lips, not that wide sincere smile one shows when they’re happy – Hyukjae’s one was more on a playful and naughty side. He raised his eyebrows playfully too and rested his head on the palm while leaning on the table with his elbow.

Donghae didn’t dare to say anything, he just… quirked an eyebrow at that. Was Hyukjae… flirting with him? He couldn’t ask. Was a bit worried Hyukjae will take it as a chance to call him dramatic again, but when it came to this… The boy didn’t want to joke about it. Not when everything was so uncertain. Not when they were balancing between two sides, one of which was safe while another one could lead them to big troubles.

“Why were you so distanced when I came?” Donghae asked instead, trying to sound casual.

Hyukjae shrugged, “I spent way more time socializing yesterday than I usually spend per week. Now I kind of want to fall into introverted coma and never see people again.”

“Oh. Then… should I leave?”

The guy’s eyes sparkled. Literally sparkled – Donghae couldn’t just imagine that. He wasn’t sure what that meant though.

“I don’t mind you being around even when I’m in my introverted coma.”

This. Again. Why these words had such a big impact on him? That meant literally nothing romantic. Literally nothing that would justify the increased heartbeat and red cheeks Donghae now had. But he still had all of those. He… He simply…

A crush. Donghae could admit he had a crush on Hyukjae. But you could have a crush on literally anyone, right? It didn’t have to be romantic all the time; sometimes it was admiration or something else. He remembered he once had a crush on the Pink Power Ranger. It didn’t mean he wanted to marry that person or something. A crush could be different.

But Donghae was afraid what he felt was becoming something more serious than a crush. If it hasn’t yet. And that was…

“What’s that?” Hyukjae asked calmly – way too calmly – and pointed out at the white box the boy kept holding onto. “Don’t remember you bringing lunchboxes before.”

Donghae looked at it. He still had time. Considering everything they were talking about, it suddenly became more than just a meal in his eyes. Hyukjae didn’t call him dramatic for nothing – Donghae was dramatic. Only such a dramatic person could see something like this in that tiny lunchbox.

But he saw it. And if he was afraid of his developing feelings, if he didn’t want them… then he simply shouldn’t give him that meal. At least shouldn’t say he had something to do with that. He had to just stop everything that was happening with them – the weird conversations that made him feel this way, the clumsy flirting, everything.

If Donghae didn’t want Hyukjae in that way, if he was scared of the direction they chose, he simply had to not give him the lunchbox. As simple as that. He had to not say he woke up earlier to prepare at least something as easy as salad just to show some attention and affection towards the guy.

“That’s not for me,” Donghae said while still looking at the box, not ready to face Hyukjae yet.

“For whom then?” the latter asked carefully.

He knew the answer. He knew the answer already. It was pointless to deny it was for him, Hyukjae knew.

Maybe Donghae was too dramatic, but he somehow felt like that guy knew everything about the boy’s confusing feelings towards him as well.

Maybe that’s why he pushed the lunchbox towards Hyukjae without any comments, knowing they weren’t needed when it was obvious. The guy smirked again when he accepted the box and opened it, noticing the insides were divided in two sections – one had paella in it and another one had salad that looked… peculiar. Hyukjae wasn’t a great cook to judge, but the difference in sizes of the cucumber slices was so vivid he couldn’t not notice it.

The guy let out a sound that was something in between of content sigh and snorting. As if he was happy, yet too tsundere to admit it. Which probably was the case for real.

“Tell your mom I’m thankful,” he said.

Donghae bit his lower lip, gave up and looked at the guy. Just do not tell him if you don’t want to continue this exchange of emotions.

“The salad is by me,” the boy mumbled. Noticing how Hyukjae’s eyes widened slightly, he added, “Saying this just for you to not think my mom could cook something as terribly looking as this.”

The guy glanced at the boy sitting beside him and asked, “Did the game impact you this much, so now you decided to cook in real life?”

Ah, the game. Right. They were playing the cooking game yesterday. Donghae forgot literally everything that seemed not important enough and memorized only the sweet words they told each other.

“Yeah. It was a game.”

He turned away and started pulling the necessities for the upcoming lesson out, failing to notice how a small, yet this time genuine smile appeared on Hyukjae’s face.

“Thank you,” the guy said. “You know that I don’t eat homemade food often, but I actually like it.”

Donghae froze for a second, looking inside his open backpack.

“Would you really like it if there was someone who cooked for you?”

“Who wouldn’t?”

The boy didn’t say anything. He never liked cooking. His mom never forced him to do that, but he tried to help her a few times and didn’t enjoy it at all. What was so nice in cooking for hours and finishing everything withing a few minutes? Too much of a trouble. But…

But for some reason he opened YouTube and started scrolling through the cooking channels he managed to find.

***

Donghae really was insane when he felt excited coming to the school knowing perfectly well today was the day when they had PE. He hated such days because he never was allowed to play with his classmates as the teacher was worried something might happen to the boy, so he only got to do some small exercises.

All the while some classmates made stupid and nasty jokes about him from time to time. Donghae learned how to not mind someone screaming, “Oh my God, Donghae, you dropped something!” And getting an evil smile when he turned to the person saying it, only to hear, “Sorry! For a second I thought your arm fell off. It happens to zombies, right?”

Noticing they weren’t able to get his attention like that anymore, his classmates were joking without calling for the boy. However, they made sure Donghae could hear everything, so PE wasn’t his favorite subject still.

Usually, working out with Hyukjae made it a little bit better. At some point of every lesson, they paired up to do a few exercises together and the boy was excited every time that happened because it never was a question whether they’d do it together.

He was excited that day as well. For a different reason though. And that… made everything challenging.

It wasn’t the first time they were helping each other stretching, but the first time Donghae felt those weird butterflies in his stomach when Hyukjae pushed him forward and put the weight of his body on the boy’s when they were practicing seated forward bend. The warmth of his body, the fact they were touching like that… was Donghae insane for liking it, although each and every muscle of his screamed out of pain during that?

If he wasn’t, then the fact he kept missing the ball when they were throwing it to each other as a part of an exercise simply because he was getting distracted with Hyukjae’s face definitely made him a weirdo.

“Are you okay today?” Hyukjae asked, frowning. Of course he noticed something was off. He couldn’t not to. Not when Donghae was the only person in this school he was paying attention to.

The boy his lips out of worry. It was so easy to lie. Would’ve been better if he lied. But he didn’t want to lie to Hyukjae because