As time went by, the weather turned colder, finally making a thick hoodie a standard accessory whenever Donghae went outside. Truth be told, this was his favorite time of the year. A few colored leaves remained clinging onto branches while most of the others littered the sidewalks of the city streets. Whenever Donghae had to make the walk to and from school, he would always quietly thank whoever authorized putting in trees along the streets inside the city.

     He was just leaving the coffee shop, his mood elevated after seeing Hyukjae inside. Today he had a study group to go to, so he couldn’t stay long. It was just enough to see how Hyuk’s day was going and grab Donghae’s favorite coffee drink of all time:

     Pumpkin Spice Latte.

     Lifting the to-go cup to his lips, he took a drink of the steaming hot liquid, not even caring that it was still slightly too hot to be attempting. He just couldn’t get enough, honestly.

     Hae walked slowly, the thin scarf around his neck helping to keep him warm. Smiling to himself, he inhaled deeply, truly taking a moment to appreciate all that he had.

     Coffee. Cool weather. And Hyukjae.

     Though their relationship still didn’t have defined parameters, it definitely changed a little. And Donghae was completely fine with that. They still behaved the same way in public and at dance practices, so no one would suspect that what they were doing in the privacy of Donghae’s apartment may be less than conventional.

     A blush not related to the chilly breeze crept into his cheeks and Hae hid a smile in his scarf, pulling it out only when he wanted to take another sip of his coffee.  Indeed, behind-the-scenes had gotten rather heated. But it was always so spontaneous (neither began hanging out with the explicit intention of winding up in a tangled mess amidst blankets) and they enjoyed it so much that it would naturally happen and they wouldn’t fight it.

     But nothing had gone beyond the kissing and light touching. Clothes always remained on (though hands had a way of crawling up shirts on their own accord) and they only kissed to the shoulders… It was a comfortable stopping place that still filled them both with desire and satisfaction. They’d even begun experimenting with finding specific locations on the other that were particularly pleasurable, learning about each other’s likes and dislikes and, honestly, have a good time with it.

     A vibration against his thigh pulled Donghae from his enjoyable memories and he stuffed his hand into his pocket to pull out his phone. Arching and eyebrow, he looked down at the unknown number and debated on whether he was going to answer.

     Deciding that his mood was just that great, he went ahead and hit the answer key, speaking clearly and confidently into the receiver. “Hello?”

     “Hae! Hae, is that you?”

     Donghae blinked at the familiar voice. “… Sungmin?”

     “Oh thank god I got the right number! I really hate calling the wrong person because it’s so-o-o-o embarrassing and I never know if I should apologize and explain or if I should just hang up because really, if I just hang up, how are they ever going to know it was m—”

     “Minnie! Get to the point!” Donghae could hear someone—presumably Kyuhyun—yelling in the background.

     “Oh, right,” Sungmin said, clearing his throat and diving right in. “What are you doing this weekend? Saturday night, to be more specific.”

     Donghae, beyond curious about how Sungmin got his phone number, had to let the question sink in for a moment before he could answer. “Er… Saturday? Nothing, I don’t think… Why?”

     Sungmin squealed happily on the other end. “Oh, fantastic! Do you know what this Saturday is?”

     Donghae exhaled through his nose, stopping at a crosswalk. He took a moment to pressing the lip of his coffee cup to his mouth to take a drink before answering. “I suppose not. What is it?”

     “It’s Hyukie’s birthday!”

     Donghae froze just as the crosswalk signaled that it was OK to go. Bustling people pushed passed him and he only managed to get going when someone knocked him back into the here and now with a rough collision into his shoulder.

     Hyukjae’s birthday? Donghae didn’t know it was coming up…

     Suddenly, he felt bad. How had something so basic as “When’s your birthday?” not come up in any of their million conversations?

     “Hello-o-o-o?”

     “Oh, sorry. I’m still here.” Donghae chewed on his bottom lip for a few more seconds, his mind already racing. “Uh, yeah! I can definitely go. Where will it be at?”

     As the campus began to loom into view a couple blocks ahead, Donghae heard some muffled conversation, as if Sungmin had covered up the microphone and was talking to someone. Soon, he had an answer. “Our place. We’re going to have a little party at our apartment.”

     Our place?

     Donghae had never asked about Sungmin and Kyuhyun’s living situation. It had never come up and there was never anything that made him curious about it. But from those two words, Donghae could only surmise that they lived together.

     “Where’s your house?” He asked curiously.

     “It’s on the east side of Seoul. Don’t worry about it, though. Kyu and I will drive you there after practice.”

     “Un,” Donghae murmured in understanding. He was just walking through the school gates and glanced up at the clock tower in the middle of campus, noting that he still had ten minutes before his lecture began. “What about Hyuk-ah?”

     There was more side whispering and shuffling before Kyuhyun’s voice finally came over the phone. “We want to surprise him. So you’ll come with us secretly and then we’ll ask Hyuk to come over later. Is that alright?”

     “Yeah, that sounds good,” Donghae said, standing outside his building now, not wanting to enter while still being on the phone. He hated it when people did that.

     “Great! See you then, Hae.”

     Donghae was just getting ready to hang up when he heard the distant voice of Sungmin yelling, “Bye Hae-Hae!”

     Grinning, Donghae ended the call and shoved the phone back into his pocket. He entered his classroom with the cute couple on his mind, thinking about what it would be like to get to live with the person you love.

     Quite frankly, he thought it would be really nice. Ideal even.

     He briefly thought about what Sungmin and Kyuhyun’s family felt about the situation… Did they care? Did Kyu and Min rebel and no longer connect with their families? How did they handle it?

     But a more pertinent issue soon forced these thoughts out…

     What was he going to get Hyukjae for his birthday?

     Throughout class, inspiration would strike and Donghae began making a list in the margins of his notes. But a minute or so after he would write something down, he would quickly decide against it. Ultimately, nothing seemed good enough.

     What do you give someone who has already given you so much? Because of Hyukjae, Donghae was experiencing a friendship that he’d never known before. Not only that, but he’d gotten involved in a social activity, making friends at the dance class as well.

     I need to get him something really special, Donghae thought, feeling nervous all of a sudden.

     After his lecture was over, it was time to head to calculus. As he walked, he reviewed his list, cringing at how uncreative he was.

Coffee mug

Gift card

New clothes

Chocolate

Flowers?

A vacation to somewhere

     None of these things seemed good enough for this special person to him. Either that, or they were completely out of his price range…

     Towards the end of his math class, he felt his phone vibrate against his thigh. As discretely as possibly, Donghae slid the cell from his pocket and checked whatever message he had just received.

     From: Hyukjae

     My aunt gave me the afternoon off! What to do something?

     Donghae bit his lip, trying to think. As the idea struck him, he quickly punched in the characters for his response.

     To: Hyukjae

     Let’s go to the shopping district and walk around.

     As soon as Hae sent the text, he heard the professor’s tone change as he began to wrap up their session. Scribbling down the assignment hastily in his notebook, Donghae packed up his things and made it out of the classroom in record time.

     When he checked his phone again, there was a message waiting.

     From: Hyukjae

     I’m at the café, so come by whenever you’re done ^^

     Within an hour, the duo were hopping off of the train and walking out onto the bustling streets of Seoul’s famous shopping district. By the time Donghae arrived at the coffee shop before, Hyukjae was standing outside in some regular skinny jeans at a heavy hoodie, a shoulder bag draped across his chest and his hands buried deep into his pockets.

     Donghae couldn’t help but consciously admire at how little Hyukjae needed to do to look so… attractive. This was multiplied whn Hae saw the way his face lit up completely when Hyuk laid eyes on him.

     “Where should we go first?” Hyukjae asked excitedly, looking with wide eyes down the packed street outside the station.

     Thinking strategically, Donghae smiled and asked, “What are you interested in?”

     Hyukjae thought about it for a long time. He chewed on his lower lip for a moment, squeezing the strap of his shoulder bag and looking around for an idea. Finally, he turned to Hae and announced, “Let’s go to a clothes store. I don’t have many winter things.”

     Donghae nodded, still grinning, and hooked his arm around Hyukjae’s neck as they began walking. They didn’t have a particular place in mind when it came to clothes, so they just settled for the first store they came across that had a wide selection for men’s attire.

     “Aish, there’s so many options,” Hyukjae murmured, through a particular rack of shirts. Hae could see him chewing on the inside of his cheek and he briefly wondered how often in Hyuk’s life he got the opportunity to go shopping like this.

     “Do you like sweaters?” Donghae offered, eyeing a corner of the store that was dedicated to warmer wear.

     “Hmmm,” Hyuk hummed, following Hae’s gaze to the sweater section. Thinking for only a second, he was soon weaving through the racks of clothing, Donghae following close behind.

     After a few minutes of looking, Hyukjae laughed lightly and pulled out a particular sweater. Donghae turned his head from his own browsing and looked at what Hyuk was holding up.

     It was a particularly gross looking sweater with dirt brown being the main color scheme. Over the shoulders, some red-ish leaves had been sewn into the fabric, creating a startlingly ugly contrast to the brown.

     “… Put that back.”

     Hyukjae laughed boisterously, earning the duo a sharp look from the store attendant. Ducking their heads together, they continued to chuckle and pull out horrendous looking tops. Eventually, however, Hyuk selected a sweater that did not make his eyes want to bleed.

     “What do you think of this?”

     This particular sweater was a solid gray-blue, a personal favorite color of Donghae. Glancing back at the attendant and seeing that she was preoccupied with the phone and computer, Hae reached out to take the top off the hanger.

     “What are you doing?” Hyukjae whispered curiously.

     “Put it on.”

     “Right here?”

     “Yeah, no one’s watching. Just put it on over your shirt.”

     Feeling a little embarrassed but not wanting to fight a seemingly innocent act, Hyuk grabbed the sweater and tugged it on over his head, adjusting it on the way down and then standing in front of Hae awaiting judgment.

     Donghae looked at Hyukjae up and down, evaluating the sweater. “I like… the color,” Donghae breathed out, his mouth fighting with his head. What he was really thinking was I like how the neck shows off a bit of your shoulder and how the length of the sleeves threaten to cover your hands. I like how your hair looks a little messy from putting it on and I love how your cheeks are turning pink right now, probably because I’m looking too long at you—

     Hyukjae grabbed the bottom hem of the shirt and pulled it over his head, reaching for the hanger to put it back on, trying to fight through the blush in his face from all the attention he just received from his friend. “So, should I get it?”

     Donghae could only nod and without talking, they seemed to mutually agree to go to a different store. Waiting for the clerk to ring up and bag the sweater, Hyukjae turned to Donghae and asked, “Is my hair messed up? I feel like it is but I can’t see.”

     Hae looked up at the hair in question, spotting just a few hairs out of place. With complete ease and comfort, he lifted a hand and started to smooth out the escaped hair, his touch gentle and their proximity close.

     As Hae began to drop his hand, their eyes locked for an electrifying moment and both froze with the surprising intensity behind their gazes. Suddenly Donghae wanted to grab this man up and kiss him breathless and he instinctively knew that Hyukjae would certainly let him should he just reach out and—

     The sound of a throat being cleared pulled the two men from their mental battle and they simultaneously turned to look at the cashier, her eyes moving between the two of them suspiciously and not-at-all friendly. She pushed the shopping bag towards Hyukjae and mumbled something akin to “Have a nice day,” before she turned back to the store computer and proceeded to ignore them.

     Donghae felt a stab of discomfort impale his heart. Narrowing his eyes, he defiantly grabbed Hyukjae’s hand and tugged on it, leading the other boy out of the store. He didn’t stop until they were a block away waiting at a crosswalk with a group of other people.

     Breathing hard, either from the quick exit or the distraught feelings working around in his stomach, Donghae didn’t look at Hyuk. He just couldn’t find it in himself to make eye contact after they’d both been judged so harshly by someone they didn’t even know.

     Hyukjae, on the other hand, was gazing at Hae’s face intently, feeling troubled. The encounter had been slightly upsetting, but he couldn’t figure out why Donghae seemed to be taking it so hard.

     Hyuk’s eyes softened. Taking a deep breath, he moved his hand inside of Hae’s tight grasp and laced his fingers through the other’s, giving Hae a light hearted smile when the university student glanced over at him.

     That seemed to cheer Donghae up enough to pull him out of the bad mood he’d suddenly found himself in. After that he was able to enjoy their afternoon together much more freely. They popped into more clothing stores, shoe stores, antique stores, and electronic hubs, anything that Hyukjae expressed even the most remote interest in.

     He was desperate to try and figure out the perfect present for Hyuk. However, what he hadn’t necessarily expected was how much fun he would have just walking around and shopping with this other man. They laughed a lot together and teased each other lightly, linking arms together as they walked from place to place. Only once in a while did Donghae notice a disparaging look from a random bystander, but he was easily able to brush it off when he turned his focus completely on his companion.

     Eventually, they ended up in a bookstore. This particular bookstore happened to sell drinks, so Donghae turned to Hyuk and asked, “Do you want something?”

     Looking curiously at the menu above the front counter, Hyukjae twisted his mouth from side-to-side in thought. He finally shook his head, “No, I shouldn’t drink anymore coffee today…”

     “What about some water?” Donghae suggested.

     Looking up at Hae’s eager face, Hyuk smiled and nodded, “Ok, water sounds great.”

     Donghae simply smiled and took off for the counter, also planning on grabbing some water. Though he would have loved to have a cup of coffee, there were a couple reasons for him to pass on the opportunity. First, he’d already had a few cups that day. And second, Hyukjae wouldn’t be the one to make it. Thus, he wasn’t really interested.

     “Can I help you?” asked a girl from behind the counter. Donghae noticed that she was wearing an apron with the store’s name and logo printed on it. She had large black-rimmed glasses sitting on her nose and seemed to be decently young; perhaps early high school.

     “Can I just have two bottles of water?”

     The girl smiled brightly and nodded, turning around to dig in the fridge. After about thirty seconds, she turned back around and said with an embarrassed tint in her cheeks, “Sorry, I’ll have to run to the back and get them. Can you wait a couple minutes?”

     Donghae just nodded, trying to smile as friendly as possible so she wouldn’t feel so bad. As the girl hurried away to “the back”, Donghae turned around to lean against the counter, looking for Hyukjae with seeking eyes.

     When his dark orbs landed on the café worker in question, Donghae felt something in the depths of his stomach stir. Hyukjae was standing in front of a large shelf of books, a hardback held tightly between his hands and his eyes scrolling across the back rapidly. Totally taken in by whatever he was reading, Hyukjae didn’t even glance up at Donghae.

     As Hyuk went to open the book, flipping through a few pages to, presumably, find the beginning chapter, Donghae made a conscious, startling discovery.

     I like him…

     And though it shouldn’t have been such a surprise to him, it was. He’d been getting increasingly good at pushing aside thoughts about his true feelings for Hyukjae, telling himself that he would think about it later, figure it out another time… but then and there inside that book shop that smelled like coffee and dusty pages, he suddenly couldn’t stave off the acceptance any longer.

     From the first time he’d kissed him to the second to the third… From the first time he’d grazed Hyuk’s skin with his fingers and they’d slept curled beside one another, waking up in the morning to sleepy, smiling faces to this very moment in this space…

     I really like him…

     “Ahem…”

     Donghae jumped, yanking himself out of his little daydream and turned around to face the young girl behind the counter again. She was holding to the water bottles in her hands and was staring with wide eyes up at Hae.

     “Er—” she began with less grace that she probably would have liked. “That will be two-fifty…”

     Donghae, fighting off the flush that was creeping into his ears, shoved a hand into his pocket and pulled out some bills before he went fishing for some loose change.

     As the girl waited, watching unabashed, she finally found the courage to lean over the counter and speak lowly to Donghae. “So… how long have you two been together?”

     “Eh?” Donghae said, dropping some coins as he yanked his hand out of his pocket. Feeling foolish, he bent over to pick up the dropped change then set it all down on the counter to count it out. “W-what do you mean?”

     The girl discretely gestured to Hyukjae and lifted her eyebrows at Donghae knowingly. “You and that guy. You’re together, right?”

     Donghae knew he was blushing now. He cleared his throat and pushed the correct change to the young clerk. “I... I don’t know wh—”

     “It’s ok,” the girl interrupted, accepting the change and punching buttons on the cash register. “That kind of stuff doesn’t bother me, so you don’t have to pretend.” She shot Donghae a friendly smile. “Love is love, you know?”

     Donghae thought his eyeballs were going to fall out of their sockets. He accepted the water bottles from the girl, looking at her and her happy face one last time before turning around walking towards Hyukjae.

     Love?

     Donghae watched as Hyukjae looked up at him and smiled, closing the book and setting it back on the shelf. The other man gratefully accepted the bottle of water and twisted the lid off to break the seal and take a refreshing drink.

     Hae watched, feeling something strange and warm filling up his body entirely.

     I didn’t say anything about love…

     “I’m going to go to the bathroom before we head out,” Hyukjae said, looking down a hallway towards the back of the store. He pulled the shoulder bag over his head and held it out to Hae, who took it willingly, slinging it over his shoulder and also taking Hyuk’s water bottle. “I’ll be back in a minute,” Hyuk said lowly, reaching out to give Hae’s hand a squeeze before walking away.

     Donghae watched him, suddenly feeling breathless. He wasn’t sure what was happening inside of him, but it felt unanimously good and frightening.

     He glanced down at the book that Hyukjae had just been reading and twisted his head to look at the cover

.

     It was an older looking book, the binding seemingly aged and the title on the spine barely visible. When he squinted hard enough and brought his eyes closer, he was finally able to read the title.

     “Love Poems from Around the World”

     It only took a second for Hyukjae to swipe the book up and stride over to the counter, startling the young girl cashier with his urgency. “I want to buy this. Can you wrap it?”

     The girl blinked rapidly before snapping into action, feeling the earnestness and running with it. As she pulled out a giant sheet of brown paper, she casually asked. “Is it for him?”

     For some reason, Donghae didn’t mind her nosiness. Instead, he nodded, glancing nervously at the back hallway. “His birthday is this weekend…”

     Expertly wrapping up the book in the brown paper, she secured the folds with tape and then walked around the counter, reaching up to Donghae’s school bag so she could hide the book within. Seeing as they were on the exact same page, Donghae kneeled down a bit so she could have better access.

     Once she returned to her side of the counter, Donghae pulled out his wallet and started digging around for his cash. “How much do I owe you?”

     The girl paused, looking up at Donghae before sliding her eyes over to the back of store. When Hae followed the gaze, he saw Hyukjae standing there, his eyes roaming over the rows and rows of books before heading over to where Hae was standing.

     The young girl leaned over the counter and whispered, “Nothing… You don’t owe me anything.”

     “Ready to go?” Hyukjae asked, all smiles as he reached for his shoulder bag to replace across his chest.

     Donghae was staring at the girl, eyes confused but touched. The young clerk just smiled and nodded before turning around to tend to other things.

     “Hae?”

     Hae spun his eyes to look at Hyukjae and he blinked before realizing that he’d been asked a question. “O-oh. Yeah, let’s go.”

     Hyukjae didn’t say anything about his weird behavior as they walked down the street. Instead, he strolled quietly next to Donghae, sipping from his water periodically and making comments about how the evening sun was casting beautiful colors against the vibrant trees and tall city buildings.

     Donghae agreed and ultimately, they headed back to the train station, Hyukjae’s bag stuffed full of the little things he’d bought that day.

     On the train, they sat close together. Mere minutes into the fifteen-minute ride, Donghae felt Hyukjae comfortably lean his head against Hae’s shoulder, nuzzling his cheek into the soft hoodie that kept Hae warm in the chilly autumn days.

     Glancing down at Hyukjae’s face and closed eyes, Hae recalled the young girl’s words.

     “Love is love.”

     And though he’d just admitted to liking Hyukjae that day, Donghae couldn’t battle the other ideas that were popping up in his head, no doubt encouraged by his skipping heart.

     No, he hadn’t said anything about love.

     But as Hae leaned his cheek against Hyukjae’s warm, soft hair and breathed in the clean smell of his shampoo, another thought entered his mind.

     That doesn’t mean it’s not there…

AN: Seriously, people, Pumpkin Spice Latte is the best thing ever for Autumn. I encourage everyone to run by their local cafe and get one. 

In other news, DAAAANG, Donghae! You FINALLY acknowledged your feelings for Hyukie!! Congrats! Now how will that play in to your present? Hmmmmmm ;)

Also, that sweater-store clerk was a ........ so I'm happy the bookstore girl was so nice :) I really liked her.

Check out my tumblr for teasers and existential updates!!