AN: 231 Subscribers!! You are all so awesome!!! I really struggled with getting this chapter to jive, but I think I finally got something suitable put together. I'm really excited for the future of this story!! So many plans!!

Donghae waved goodbye to his study group as they all exited through the campus gates together. When they were sufficiently separated, he allowed his shoulders to drop a bit and he shoved his hands in his pockets as he began the walk back to his apartment.

It had been two weeks since Hyukjae had left Seoul to return back to his hometown. Thinking back on the events that took him away made Donghae’s heart clench uncomfortably in his chest.

“She’s sick?”

Hyukjae stared at the wet pavement and nodded. “She’s been sick for a while. But I guess it’s gotten really bad.”

They stood in silence, rain being blown under the protective awning outside the café and making the duo slightly wet. There weren’t many people out and about since the weather was so miserable, but honestly it seemed to fit the mood quite well.

“When will you be back?” Donghae asked, wondering if it was a selfish question under such circumstances.

Hyuk just shrugged, his eyes remaining on the ground. “I don’t know… When it’s over, I guess.”

They both flinched at the term “over”. Donghae knew what it meant and he found that he wasn’t sure what he could do to make it seem less painful.

“Hyuk-ah…” Donghae began, but trailed off not knowing how to continue. There hadn’t been too many moments in his life when he needed to be able to comfort someone like this. He wracked his brain, trying to think back to all the sentimental dramas he had glimpsed over the years, but nothing was coming to mind.

Hyukjae didn’t seem to think there was anything left to talk about because he gave a final neutral nod before turning around to head back inside the café for work.

“Hyuk, wait!” Donghae said, lunging forward and grabbing onto Hyukjae’s wrist to stop him. The man stiffened but didn’t go any further and didn’t say anything. It took Donghae a minute to get his thoughts together enough to go on. “You know… You know you can count on me.”

Donghae wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by that simple statement, but it seemed to say enough to Hyukjae. Finally, Hyuk’s head lifted and he turned to look at Donghae’s face. Hae, in turn, felt like his heart was going to bottom out, the obvious struggle plan to see in Hyuk’s eyes.

There was a pause but then the smallest of grateful smiles formed on Hyukjae’s lips, “Thanks, Hae.”

“I could go with you,” Donghae rushed to say, the idea coming into his mind just as quickly as it left his mouth.

Hyuk’s smile remained and he shook his head. “Ani. You have classes. You have to stay here.”

A part of Donghae felt delighted that the reason for him not going with his friend was not “I don’t want you to go”. It was that circumstances prevented him from it.

Donghae took a step closer to Hyukjae, only vaguely aware that he was still holding fast to the other man’s wrist. “When are you leaving?”

“Tonight. I’m taking the night train after we close,” came Hyukjae’s soft response. It was then that he looked down and saw that they were still joined near the hands and his eyes couldn’t help but soften and his heart feel touched.

Two heartbeats passed between them before Donghae gripped Hyuk’s wrist a little tighter and began to pull. He led the other man around the corner of the café into the alley and under the set of stairs used to get up to the apartment above.

“Hae-ah, what—” Hyukjae began, confused about what was going on.

Donghae stood with his back against the wet, brick wall, the rain now openly falling on them as splatters through the staircase. He swiftly cut Hyukjae off. “I’m not very good with things like this,” he began and seemed to struggle as he caught his breath. Hyukjae just tilted his head curiously at his friend, wondering what was going on. “But I really want you to know… You can count on me.”

Hyuk opened his mouth, “You already said—” but, once again, Donghae cut him off.

“I mean you can really rely on me. Don’t carry this burden alone.” Donghae’s eyes were completely serious, looking straight into Hyuk’s dark hues. “You’re not alone…”

Hyukjae was silent. Look at the urgency and sincerity with which Donghae used these words, he couldn’t help but just be quiet and soak it in. Never in his life had someone gone so far out of their way to make sure he understood that he was not alone. In fact, for a vast majority of his existence, he had felt nothing but alone.

But you, Hyukjae thought as he stared with wide eyes into Donghae’s strong orbs, You really mean it.

“Ok,” was all that Hyukjae could say, the syllables coming out as a whisper.

Taking the situation one step further, Donghae closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around the other man’s shoulders, bringing him into a firm embrace against his front.

Almost without any hesitation, Hyukjae accepted the hug and brought his arms around Donghae’s back, gripping the other man’s damp shirt loosely at first and then harder after a passing moment. “Thank you,” Hyukjae whispered over Hae’s shoulder, suddenly not wanting to ever leave this warm embrace in that cold, wet alley.

Donghae pulled away and cleared his throat, feeling like his face was hot. “You should go back in. If you’re not going to sleep well tonight, you don’t want to risk getting sick from the cold…”

Hyukjae just nodded and took another separating step backwards. “I’ll call you,” he said, wondering if it would help ease the other man a bit.

It seemed to do the trick because Hae smiled gently at the other man and nodded. “Make sure you do.”

“I will,” Hyuk confirmed and then, with one final lingering look, he walked out of the alleyway and disappeared around the corner.

Donghae fumbled with the keys to unlock the gate at the bottom of the stairway to his apartment. He pushed his way in and slowly ascended the steps, the memories of that strange day floating around his brain as it had since its occurrence.

He removed his shoes just inside his doorway and tossed his backpack onto his bed, walking over to his small kitchen and fishing out a package of ramen noodles from a cupboard. While he prepared his supper, he tried to think about what happened in more depth.

Did it mean anything? He’d never been that personal with anyone before. But there was something about the thought of Hyukjae suffering alone that tore at the very tendrils of his heart. If it did mean something, what was it?

“Aish, this is going to drive me crazy,” he muttered to himself and pulled a hand through his hair out of frustration, no doubt making it stand straight up.

Just then, the cell phone in his pocket gave off a quick succession of vibrations, indicating that he’d received a text message. He quickly opened up the phone and looked down at the words.

Are you out of study group yet?

Heart racing, Donghae exited the texting feature and quickly found Hyukjae’s name in his contacts list, hastily selecting the “call” button from the options.

Hyuk answered on the second ring. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

Donghae couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, it ended about fifteen minutes ago.”

“I see,” Hyukjae’s voice said. He sounded tired, Hae noticed with a tinge of worry. “What are you doing now, then?”

“Making some dinner,” Donghae said, just now remembering to check his water. He resisted the urge to swear when he noticed that a few centimeters of the water had already evaporated since he’d been boiling it with nothing else inside. He reached for the package of noodles to add.

“You’re not making ramen again, are you?” came Hyuk’s suspicious tone.

“… Er… Well,” was the only thing Donghae could get out as he tried to open the package secretly.

“Hae-ah, you shouldn’t eat so much ramen! Make a real meal or go out or something…”

“I’m too tired to do anything else,” wined Hae as he dropped the block of dried noodles into the pot. “Besides, I like the taste…”

Hyukjae just laughed on the other end of the line, which made Donghae smile. “So,” Hae went on, turning his back to the kitchen counter and leaning his weight against it, “How did today go?”

Donghae thought he heard a sigh escape Hyuk’s lips before the man began speaking. “It was long… I had to meet with a lawyer and he had so many questions about money and other family and plans and assets…”

Hae made a face even though he knew Hyuk couldn’t see. “Sounds boring.”

“Mm,” came Hyuk’s agreeing tone. “It was. And I don’t even know the answer to most of those things… and my mother couldn’t tell me either, even if I tried to ask…”

Donghae paused and turned around to drain his noodles before asking, “How is she?”

“Not good,” Hyukjae seemed to whisper. Donghae wondered if the man on the other end of the line was lying down or not. “It won’t be long…” his voice trailed off.

Donghae silently stirred in the various packets of dried vegetables and flavor into his finished noodles and walked over to his kitchen table. Hyukjae broke the silence first.

“How’s the café?”

Donghae blew on his noodles before answering. “I think your aunt and uncle are really missing your help. And the last time I went in, I heard a group of girls asking where you had gone.”

Hae felt his heart lighten when he heard the soft chuckle come from the other end of the line. “Oooh god… What about you? Have you been adequately getting your fix?”

Donghae smiled. “Of course. Although, I really miss the coffee you make for me. Mine just tastes boring now.”

“But of course,” Hyukjae’s pseudo-smug reply came. “I make the best coffee. And I know what you like.”

Donghae agreed and took a bite of his steaming, delicious noodles before taking the conversation another step. “How are you?”

Hae could hear shuffling on the other end of the line and was curious about what was going on. But he didn’t want to be too nosey by asking for the minutest detail. Instead, he just ate his noodles and waited.

“I’m alright… Honestly, I miss the city. And the customers, I miss them, too.”

Donghae gave standard “Uh-huhs” throughout the conversation, his mouth full of sweltering hot food.

“There’s something else I miss,” Hyuk began, his voice sounding a bit stronger now.

“What’s that?” Donghae muttered around a full mouth.

“Mm… Good company, conversation… and tea.”

Donghae realized his mouth was hanging open, exposing all the chewed up food inside. He quickly closed it and swallowed the food down, his face feeling suddenly warmer. “O-Oh yeah?”

“Mhmm…” Hyukjae sounded like he was smiling.

Donghae laughed awkwardly, pushing the food around in the bowl absently with his chopsticks. “I miss those things, too.”

What was this secret code they suddenly invented? Both were being blatantly obvious about how they missed being around each other, but neither party ever went the extra step to actually say those words: I miss you. I miss you.

The rest of the conversation went like it always did: smoothly and lightly. Donghae always wondered when they would run out of things to talk about, but it wasn’t ever a worry that appeared while he was actually conversing with the other man.

During this time part they’d gotten to know each other on a deeper level. Hae learned that Hyuk had struggled through his childhood and adolescence with a mother who didn’t know how to take care of anyone, much less herself, and that they’d constantly be moving from boyfriend’s home to boyfriend’s home.

Hyuk had learned that Donghae’s family was actually quite well off financially… but, like Hyuk, it was dysfunctional. He had a sister whom he never spoke with, a mother that only cared about image, and a father who was nearly always too busy with work and adulterous affairs to pay any attention to his family.

Upon realizing that they were both a little “messed up”, they didn’t feel burdened at all. In fact, it may have strengthened their relationship to a point where nothing could deter them now.

They were best friends. That was that.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Hyukjae stared at the blank screen on his cellphone long after their call ended. Eventually, he allowed his hand to drop to the side, the phone still clutched under his fingers.

He was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling of the dark room. There was always an overwhelming sense of loneliness after he hung up the phone with Donghae. Like a silent void was preparing to swallow him up.

Hyukjae rolled over from his back onto his side, resting his head on his arm. In the past, he wouldn’t have thought anything about leaving somewhere for two weeks. It would have been completely ok back then…

But now…

Now, he had someone who he cared about on some mysterious level. Someone who was a true friend to him, someone he was close to. Closer than he’d ever been with anyone else, including his mother.

Mother…

Thoughts of his sick decrepit mother brought him back to the startling reality of what was going to happen to her. Disease accrued by drug use wasn’t easily fought… Hyukjae tried to battle the bitterness that he frequently felt when he thought about his mother and her selfishness.

Now she was slowly but surely dying and, once again, he was left to pick up all the pieces…

In order to not think about it (since he had to spend most of the day thinking about it already), he closed his eyes and replayed the conversation with Hyukjae in his head. He thought about the other man’s soothing voice, his happy laugh, and imagined what he was doing on the other end of the line.

Hyuk sighed. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t still a bit confused about his feelings for Donghae. But he felt restless as he continued to hover in a space between friendship and something more.

If he could just pick a side, things would be clearer and he could breathe easier. But at this point, and without knowing exactly how Hae felt, he didn’t know what would be worse.

Remaining with Donghae as best friends and denying his feelings? Or risking their relationship to try and be something more…

Hyukjae rolled over onto his other side. Ultimately, he decided that it didn’t matter for right now. Now, everything felt great. He had a friend, someone he could count on. Someone that would listen to him and comfort him.

Maybe someday he could have a loving, happy relationship like Kyuhyun and Sungmin. But right now, this was enough. Right now, this was what he needed.

Feeling less tense, he breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. He began to replay their conversation in his mind once more and he was finally able to greet sleep.

AN: Remember to check out my tumblr (allure000.tumblr.com) for chapter TEASERS (posted BEFORE stories show up here) as well as progress reports and any other announcements that are fanfiction related.

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