“I will never be the right one for you, Nayeon.”

 

The weight of these words are slowly getting lighter and lighter.

 

The conversation they had a few nights ago was the closure Nayeon needed.

 

“But what was that back then? Why did you act like you felt the same way?”

 

“I just didn’t want to hurt you.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“I was confused. I was guilty. I felt like I was cheating on you.”

 

“Why did you feel that way?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“You do, Mina. You’re just scared to admit it.”

 

“How can you be so sure when I couldn’t even figure it out?”

 

“If there’s something to figure out, then, there is something, Mina.” Nayeon said emphatically.

 

“Nayeon.” Mina said, her voice and the look in her eyes, soft. “You can’t be the person I love.”

 

“But there was something?” Nayeon asked but her tone sounded declarative.

 

“Maybe back then, but now…” She shrugged with an apologetic look in her face. “But again, I was never sure.”

 

“Okay.” Nayeon nodded. “Didn’t know I kind of had a chance.” She chuckled. “I should have worked hard to get you because I didn’t really do anything.”

 

“Then what? What if we happened and then broke up?”

 

“I wouldn’t have allowed that to happen.” Nayeon let out a sigh. “But all these ‘what ifs’ can’t change anything.” Nayeon faked a laugh, nudging Mina’s elbow. “So it’s best for me to continue moving on from you.” She forces a smile. “And I can say I’m almost there.”

 

“I’m sorry Nayeon and I’m glad you’re moving on.” Mina smiled back.

 

“You should be sorry. You should even pay for damages, Mina-yah.” Nayeon joked, cutting the tension between them and making Mina smile. “Okay, let’s end it here. No more going back to the past.” She put out her hand to Mina.

 

Mina took it. “No more going back to the past.” They shook hands.

 

Although it wasn’t easy for the both of them, the conversation didn’t affect the dynamics of their friendship. Nayeon feels she can really finally let go. She’s been in the process of moving on for a year now. She was hurt but she has already accepted the possibility of no possibility.

 

 

///////////////////////////////

 

 

“Dude you’re late! If you’re not here after I finish cooking your ramen, I’m gonna start the movie without you.”

 

“I’m coming. I just finished doing the dishes." Mina puts her phone in her back pocket after replying to Nayeon’s text. She turns around to her cousin, Haein.

 

“We’re going to watch a K drama. You hate K dramas.”

 

“But I’m not gonna be there for the K drama.”

 

“If you wanna hit on my bestfriend, set up your own date.”

 

“Why can’t I join your K drama night?”

 

“Her parents don’t like boys in her room.”

 

“Okay, what can you do for me?”

 

“What are you, my master?”

 

“If you just give me her number, I don’t have to bother you.”

 

“She lives literally just beside this house and you see her everyday. Why can’t you do it on your own?”

 

“She’s kinda intimidating.” He says in a soft voice, shrinking on the couch.

 

“Nayeon’s intimidating? How?” Mina laughs.

 

“She’s just so pretty and I like her. I can’t even have a conversation with her.”

 

Mina sighs. “Let’s go.”

 

Haein’s eyes widen. “You’re letting me join you?”

 

“Isn’t it obvious yet?” Mina’s voice is dull.

 

“What about her parents?”

 

“They’re not home.”

 

“I thought they…”

 

“I just said her parents don’t like her letting boys in her room but I didn’t say her parents are home.”

 

 

//

 

 

“Why is Joon-hee so dreamy.” Nayeon says with her chin resting on her hands. “Look at him smile. He looks so innocent, like he can’t harm even a bug.”

 

They’re on the second episode of the Kdrama called “Something in the Rain”.

 

“Don’t you think he looks like Haein oppa?” Mina says, winking at her cousin.

 

Nayeon looks at Haein and he blushes a little. She nods. "You do kind of resemble him."

 

A smug look blooms on his face.

 

"Just his eyes don’t look innocent." Mina comments, trying to take back some of the pride her cousin has built up because of her compliment.

 

"But I still look handsome just like him." he says boastfully.

 

"I shouldn’t have said that." Mina mutters.

 

"Well, you're not bad, oppa. A lot of girls must have a crush on you. Even when we were kids, all the girls in the neighborhood had a crush on you."

 

"He’s already full of himself, please don't add to it." Mina rolls her eyes.

 

"Were you one of them?" Haein says, ignoring his cousin.

 

"She was." Mina chuckles.

 

"Yeah." Nayeon says casually.

 

Haein nods. "Hmm, interesting."

 

"You were my first heartbreaker" Nayeon chuckles looking at him.

 

"I’m sorry about that." He clears his throat. "I wanna make it up to you."

 

"You don’t have to oppa. It wasn’t your fault. You didnt know."

 

"No, no. I want to."

 

Mina rolls her eyes as she listens to their seemingly flirty interaction.

 

"Okay, if you insist."

 

"I can take you out. I'll treat you to the finest restaurant in town."

 

"Fine restaurants are not her thing." Mina butts in.

 

"What she said." Nayeon says, pointing her thumb towards Mina.

 

"Okay. Then, what do you wanna do?"

 

"Do you still hate scary amusement park rides?"

 

Haein gulps.

 

//

 

"Nayeon, I don’t think I can do this." Haein says, his hands shaking, and he's starting to get sweaty as they stand in line, waiting for their turn to ride the rollercoaster.

 

"You can, oppa. This won’t kill you, I promise. I'll hold your hand so you won’t get too scared."

 

//

 

"Ahh!" Nayeon screams. "This is so much fun!"

 

"Ahhh!! Make it stop!!" Haein clings to Nayeon's arm, their hands in a tight hold.

 

Nayeon laughs at him. "You're so cute, oppa."

 

“I wanna get off this!” His eyes getting teary.

 

“It’s almost done! Hang in there!”

 

//

 

"What did you say earlier?" Haein says while helping Nayeon fix her hair after the ride.

 

"What did I say?"

 

"You were laughing during the ride and then you said something."

 

"Ah~ I said you're cute because you're so buff but you're scared of these rides." Nayeon laughs, teasing him.

 

"I’m cute huh?" He raises an eyebrow, a confident smile forms in his lips.

 

"Only when you're scared and telling me to make the ship stop when I don’t even have control of it." Nayeon chuckles. She's starting to love teasing him again, just like how she did when they were elementary kids. Then, she holds his wrist. "Let’s go ride that one!" She points at the Viking ship.

 

"No, Nayeon. I’m already dying."

 

"It would be boring to ride it alone." She starts giving him cute, puppy eyes. "Please do it for the heartbreak you've caused me." She says in a cute voice while pouting.

 

Haein blinks a few times, he feels his cheeks getting warm. He sighs. "Okay." He gives in like a father does to a requesting child. She's irresistible.

 

//

 

"Ahh!!" Nayeon shouts and laughs in excitement.

 

"Ahh!" Haein shouts in anguish. "I hate this!!"

 

"Hang in there!"

 

"Nayeonah!!”

 

“What?!”

 

“I got something to tell you!”

 

“What is it?!”

 

“I like you! Will you date me?!"

 

Nayeon laughs.

 

“Did you hear what I just said?!”

 

“Yes! Everything!”

 

"I just confessed to you."

 

"I know!" Nayeon continues to laugh.

 

"Don’t laugh at me"

 

"Why are you confessing to me while you're dying?"

 

"It's less awkward this way." He’s scared to death but he manages to laugh.

 

The ride is finally slowing down, preparing to stop.

 

"So what do you say?" He struggles to say, holding the safety bar tightly.

 

"Thank you. I’m very flattered."

 

"That's it?"

 

"What else do you want from me?"

 

"Can we call this a real date?"

 

Nayeon stares at him for a moment. "Okay." She nods. "Since you went through the scary rides for me, I’ll give this to you."

 

The ride finally stops. Haein's energy jumps back as if he wasn't just about to pass out a few seconds ago.

 

"Do you want to ride another one?"

 

"No oppa, I’m good. I don’t want to hear you dying anymore."

 

They laugh.

 

He breathes out in relief. "Thank goodness. I thought you were going to say yes. But I still would ride it with you though."

 

"Nah, the lines are super long and it's so hot."

 

"Wanna get some ice cream?"

 

"Can we get lunch first?"

 

Haein looks at his wristwatch. "Oh, it's almost 1."

 

"Where should we eat?"

 

"I’m craving for steak."

 

"I’m craving for you." he says quietly.

 

"That’s so indecent of you oppa." She playfully hits him.

 

He laughs. "Sorry, that was a bad joke."

 

//

 

The sky is cloudy, covering the stars. Distant sounds of thunders can be heard. Seems like it’s going to rain soon.

 

"I had so much fun, oppa. Thank you for the treat."

 

"My pleasure." he slightly bows his dead. "I had the best time with you. Thank you for coming with me."

 

"You sure you had a great time?"

 

"Yeah. I got to hold your hand during the first ride. It was not heart fluttering at all, but the rest of the day was."

 

"I’m glad there's no wall between us now. You’ve been acting distant since you arrived here but you were chill in the video calls with Mina."

 

"I was kinda shy to talk to you unless Mina's there."

 

"Don’t be shy to me oppa. Let’s be friends just like when we were kids."

 

"Can we know each other more than just as friends?"

 

*Thunders*

 

"Oh, it's going to rain. I’m gonna go inside now."

 

"Hey, you haven't answered me yet." He holds her wrist.

 

"Okay." She nods and smiles. “Yes.”

 

Haein’s heart jumps. He beams, not able to control his happy expression. "Alright.” He nods and gestures for Nayeon to get inside. “Be careful."

 

Nayeon laughs. "Oppa, that's sweet of you but we're literally just in front of my house."

 

"Still, be careful." he laughs lightly and then flashes his smile at her again.

 

That smile. It's the same smile she fell in like with when she was young. Seeing more of that smile, just a little bit more, and she feels like she'll fall for him again.

 

"Bye, oppa. Thanks again." She smiles at him before leaving. She thanks the dark of the night for covering the blush creeping up her cheeks.

 

Nayeon, you're too easy. Perhaps it’s my old feelings coming back to the surface? Nayeon debates within herself.

 

 

////

 

The Ims and the Myois are having a two-night stay at a beach resort. Haein is from the big city and he loves going to the beach, so whenever his family has a vacation in Donghae, they make sure to bring him to the beach. The Myois would also always invite the Ims to join them and this is the first time they're doing this after a few years. They always go to the same resort. The owner is also a family friend of the Myois and it is Haein’s favorite resort.

 

Mrs. Im and Mrs. Myoi are preparing some dishes for lunch. Mr. Im and Mr. Myoi are grilling some fish while drinking beer.

 

Mina, Nayeon, and Haein are making skillet cookie.

 

Mina’s phone rings and excuses herself. Nayeon saw the heart-fluttered smile that beamed on her bestfriend's face when she saw who was calling.

 

"Is she officially seeing that guy?"

 

"’That guy?’"

 

"She told me she likes your friend."

 

"Ah~” Haein nods. “They're not officially dating but they're dating to get to know each other."

 

"Isn’t that the same thing?"

 

Haein laughs. "That's what I told them! I kinda get it but also not."

 

"Confusing." Nayeon chuckles.

 

Haein opens the lid of the skillet to check the cookie.

 

“Five more minutes. But we can add the marshmallows on top now.”

 

“Okay.” Haein opens the bag of mallows and carefully arranges them on top of the cookie. Nayeon also helps him. "We’re going back to Seoul in two days and it's still your summer break. Wanna go with us?"

 

"I'll tell my parents." She nods and smiles.

 

//

They had dinner by the shore. A long table has been set up and now they are having dessert while chatting about anything. Mr. Im changes the topic and turns to Haein.

 

"Looks like you two are getting along well" Mr. Im says. Haein and Nayeon smiles shyly at him.

 

"You’re inseparable nowadays." Mr. Myoi adds. "Is there something you want to share to us, son?"

 

Haein drinks from his glass of water to moisten his lips. All eyes are on him now and it's making him nervous.

 

"Uh, uncle." He looks at Nayeon's dad. "I like your daughter and I would love to know her more and maybe ask her to be my girlfriend someday."

 

"Maybe? Seems like you're not serious about my daughter."

 

"Dad, please don’t pressure him." Nayeon tells her dad who's looking at their hands as Nayeon subconsciously holds Haein's hand. Mina sees this, too.

 

"It's okay." Haein whispers to Nayeon and looks back at her dad. "No, uncle. I am serious about your daughter. I really like her." He turns to Nayeon. "And I will ask your daughter to be my girlfriend..." He emphasized the second word. "…when the time is right."

 

Mina’s stomach suddenly turns. She is not sure of what she's feeling. She thought she'd be happy to see Nayeon moving on and being happy with someone else, but now that her bestfriend is, it hurts her a little. It makes her a little jealous. Is it because she feels like her best friend is being taken away from her, or is it old feelings (if they ever existed) resurfacing—the feelings she thought had already died from her long effort of hiding it away? She acknowledges these possibilities.

 

//

 

After their meal, Mina, Nayeon, and Haein insist that they do the cleaning up and that their parents can relax. Nayeon noticed that Mina’s being quiet throughout the whole dinner.

 

After the three are done cleaning up, they go back to the table where their parents are, still talking.

 

Mina’s still not saying anything. She’s not even laughing along with the others. She’s just listening and observing. Nayeon could tell she’s sad about something.

 

A moment later, Mina touches Nayeon’s hand and stands up. The latter knew that it meant the other girl wanted to talk. So she follows her.

 

Mina's tears start rolling down her cheeks.

 

"Hey, You okay?"

 

“I’m going to miss my parents.” Nayeon hugs her arm and allows her to continue. “I’m going to miss how they grow old.”

 

Mina is very close to her parents. She was closer to her dad but ever since he cheated on her mom, Mina became distant from him for a while but gradually forgave her because her mother did. She didn’t understand back then why her mom just forgave him immediately but her mom told her to see the good in him instead of his wrongdoing. “He’s my husband and when we got married, I promised to stick with him for better and for worse. This is the worst thing he’s ever done to me, to our family, but I will not leave him. Instead, I will help him because that’s part of my vow to him.”

 

Mina has not seen her parents for only almost a year but she noticed the fine lines in their faces and the wrinkles that she never noticed before. Mina never noticed because she was always with them. She feels bad for leaving because it’s like she’s not going to be there as her parents grow older. But it’s an inevitable thing. This shouldn't stop her from experiencing life in another place and growing up on her own. Although Nayeon has never been away from her parents for a long time, she understands what her friend is going through. It was also hard for her not to see Mina and ignore her throughout the rest of high school.

 

“You’re going to visit them whenever you can and I’ll record videos of them and send them to you.” Nayeon her back gently.

 

//

 

At the train station…

 

Nayeon couldn't go with them to Seoul. Her mom needs her at the coffee shop because Jackson got sick and couldn't cover for her. They hired an extra hand but they still needed her. It's summer break and there are many tourists visiting hence, it's super busy in the coffee shop.

 

"I’m going to miss you." Haein says and hugs Nayeon tightly.

 

"I'll visit you before school starts." Nayeon says in the hug. "It’s only one week or a few days if Jackson gets well sooner."

 

Mina watches them thinking the two have become so close in just a few days and they look like they're already in love. She’s happy for them. She should be happy for them. So she tries hard to be happy for them. She shouldn't be jealous because she has Joongki waiting for her in Seoul, but she is, and it’s making her feel like she’s cheating again.

 

Jealous?

 

She hides the thought away at the back of her mind. She’s become so good at doing this ever since she was in high school and started having confusing feelings for her bestfriend. She would always say "confusing feelings" but a part of her thinks they were real, she just couldn't accept it. Why can’t I? She’s asked this question to herself many times and it remains unanswered. But does it really matter?

 

Nayeon turns to her bestfriend and hugs her. Mina closes her eyes as she hugs back tightly.

 

"Can you do me a favor?" Mina asks after they break the hug.

 

“What is it?” There’s concern in her face.

 

"Can you look after my parents? Invite them over to dinner or invite yourself over to dinner. Eat with them whenever you can and make sure they don’t feel lonely."

 

"Of course. Don’t worry, I'll take care of them even if you don’t ask me to." She smiles. Seeing her best friend teary eyed makes her teary too.

 

They can already hear the train approaching. Nayeon opens her arms beckoning Mina for another hug, then she kisses the latter’s cheek before breaking the hug.

 

Mina remembers having a dream that resembled this scene but in the dream, she was hoping that Nayeon won't kiss her because she still has the idea that a kiss will mean an end. And she remembers wanting to tell her best friend: I still want to start something with you. Mina was relieved when Nayeon didn't kiss her. The train arrived and then she woke up with her alarm going off.

 

In this reality, Nayeon steps back and nods. They smile at each other and then Haein waves at her. "Bye. Take care of yourself.”

 

"Why would I not?" Nayeon says jokingly although it’s evident that her tears are about to spill out, but she was still successful at making her friends laugh.

 

"I'll see you soon." Haein says and Nayeon‘s heart melts.

 

In the dream, Mina hesitantly stepped into the doors of the train and waved goodbye to her for the last time. Then Mina’s heart stuttered when she saw Nayeon blowing a kiss to her.

 

I guess we're not meant to be, then.

 

I guess I made the right decision when I didn’t meet you at the park that night, two years ago.

 

////

 

Joongki is looking after his 6-month baby niece. His older sister is out of town for work and will be back at night. He asked Mina if she wanted to come and Mina said yes. After her shift, she went straight to the address that Joongki sent to her. It’s her first time there and meeting his niece.

 

Mina saw how Joongki loves his niece. He told her before that he liked babies and kids. Taking care of his niece makes him happy, like it’s his purpose in life. Mina adores this about him. He likes taking care of people and even taking care of plants. She watches as he feeds the baby and how he plays with her. She remembers her parents back home. She remembers Nayeon’s assurance that she will take care of them while she’s away. She smiles at this thought and she smiles as she observes Joongki. She thinks anyone would be so lucky to have him as a husband, as a friend, or anything. Anyone would just be lucky to have him in their life.

 

Mina has never taken care of a baby and she’s scared of even touching its delicate skin. But Joongki let her try holding the baby. She sits down on the couch and Joongki sits the baby carefully on her lap.

 

“Hi baby.” The baby turns her head to look at the person holding her. Mina and Joongki laughs when the baby smiles at her.

 

“She’s not crying. She’s comfortable with you.”

 

“I’ve never held a baby before.”

 

“This is your first time?”

 

Mina nods with a wide smile on her face. “This makes me feel good but scared at the same time. Babies are so fragile.”

 

Joongki laughs. “Yeah. Their fragility makes you want to be gentle. In the Philippines, my grandparents used to bring me to an orphanage when I was a kid. There were many babies there abandoned by their parents. It was that place where I held an infant for the first time. The baby was so small and fragile.” He sits down beside Mina. “She’s sleepy.” He says, taking the baby from Mina. Then he stands up again to cradle the baby in his arms.

 

After a while, the baby has fallen asleep and he carefully puts her in the crib that’s placed in the middle of the living room.

 

“At a young age, I realized how babies are helpless.” He continues in a soft voice, sitting beside Mina. “They need parents or caretakers. If they don’t have anyone to take care of them, they will either die or grow up seeking for love and affection. How can they grow up to be good people if they don’t experience a good person who will meet their needs, right?” Mina nods and just continues to stare at him and listen. “So, I think, taking care of babies, or even just holding one, is a life-changing experience. It makes me want to be a good person. It makes you love and take care of people.”

 

“Thanks for sharing your story. It’s beautiful.” She reaches for his hand. “Now I know why you’re such a beautiful guy inside and out.”

 

“Credits to my grandparents.” He chuckles.

 

“Why did they bring you there?”

 

He smiles before answering. “I was a bully at school.”

 

“I never would have thought that about you.”

 

“I was influenced by my friends. A teacher caught us picking on a boy. We had just learned that he was adopted. I don’t know why we thought it was fun to hurt kids like him.” He shakes his head, regretting what he did. “I’m grateful to my grandparents for bringing me to the orphanage and making me make friends with the kids there as a punishment.”

 

“I’m also glad that they did. Look at what kind of a person you have become. I’m so proud of you.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

He feels Mina squeeze his hand lightly.

 

“Can I tell you something from my past, too?”

 

“Of course. I want to hear it.”

 

Mina breathes in nervously.

 

“My bestfriend was in love with me and I think I was too but I was never sure.”

 

“Nayeon?”

 

“Yes. It’s kinda messy because I don’t know if it was real or not. And then before I left Donghae last week, I felt something again when I saw her with Haein oppa. They’re kinda dating now. Perhaps I was jealous but I don’t know what kind of jealousy it was.” She explains with a shaky voice, scared that she might hurt or push Joongki away. “But back in high school, when I realized that she liked me, I avoided her feelings and whatever I felt for her. I didn’t want it to lead to something because I was afraid I would just be preventing her from meeting the right person for her. She deserves someone who’s sure about her.”

 

“I don't think you have to decide on who’s the right person for her. I think she gets to decide on that.”

 

“But if she decides that it’s me and I say I don't want it to be me?”

 

“Then, she has to accept that.” He takes her hand with both his hands. “Look, I understand that you’re confused, but just know that I still want you. Just give me a chance. Maybe you’ll see me as someone who can be right for you. I’ll try to be the one for you, Mina. I’ll help you get rid of your confusions.

 

“Of course.” Mina assures him that he still has a chance. “I like you Joongki. I really do. I wanted to tell you these things because you’re too good for me and I’m sorry if I hurt you. I just-” She lays her free hand on top of his hand. “I want to deserve you so I don’t want any streak of lies or anything that makes me undeserving of you.”

 

 

---

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