Siyeon's POV

No words can express how I feel right now.

You look so beautiful in your white dress.

For you, there'll be no more crying
For you, the sun will be shining

It feels like it hasn’t been that long since I first saw you. As you entered the vocal room I usually occupy, we mirror each other’s reaction – shocked. I didn’t know why you were shocked though, but I know I was because of your beauty. Never in my life have I seen such beauty. It isn’t textbook, it is ethereal.

And as we grew older together, I feel like I’ve seen you glow and become this woman that I am looking at right now.

And I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right

During the early days of our training, you’ve always had this cold persona, almost intimidating. But you always have been a ball of sunshine. You approach people without prejudice and with a bright smile. Slowly, I came to realize that you might be the most important person in my life. I decided I’ll protect you no matter what the circumstances are.

You’re my person.

To you, I'll give the world
To you, I'll never be cold

When we first heard the news that our first group didn’t make it, I was devastated. Not because I will not be an idol anymore, but because it means we will all have to go on our ways. The initial thought was that we will go separate ways and we’ll stop seeing together. Imagine waking up in an empty room, without you and the rest of our members. I panicked. I remembered how angry you were when I left the dorm without warning. I have always been like that. I was scared to be left alone so I always leave first. You were angry that I seem to give up so easily. You were angry that I have thoughts about us not being friends anymore. And so, on that day, you promised me you’ll never leave me. That I will always be your soulmate, even if we are not together as a group anymore.

'Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right

I don’t know if you know, but I would always look at you. Curious as to what you are doing, thinking, or just admiring you. One of my favorite sights of you is when we are at our van, on our way home and everyone is sleeping out of exhaustion. I would see you looking at the window, smiling peacefully. Your eyes are glistening because of the streetlights. I always wonder what you are thinking, but you look serene. If I’m lucky, you will look back at me and smile even more.

“It’s beautiful outside” you’d say.

You are beautiful.

And the songbirds are singing, like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before

It’s not always happy times. There were critical times when we argue and they always break my heart. We fight over petty things, but it’s almost always so intense that the whole group is affected when we do. I must admit, most of our fights are mostly because of me and my jealousy. I was always upset when you spend your rest days with another friend instead of me. It sounds selfish, I know.

Look at me having a crush on my Unnie. I’d chuckle at myself as I thought how silly it was.

Back then, I didn’t understand why I was upset over that. But as we continue our journey together, I came to realize how strong my feelings are for you.

I loved you.

And I wish you all the love in the world
But most of all, I wish it from myself

I loved you in a way I can’t explain. I loved you like my heart is bursting with so many emotions. I loved you more than anything.

Being in a girl group, skinship is very trivial. And you, being the Sua we know, has always been expressive. You would always kiss us goodnight, one by one.  I remember always being excited at night time, you’d enter my and Jiu’s room to kiss us both. I will pretend I am tired or already sleeping most of the time. Because I know you will not stop kissing me on the cheeks or hugging me until I wake up and say my goodnight.

I confirmed my feelings for you when you accidentally kissed me on the lips. You laughed hysterically and acted like it was nothing. You bid your good night and left the room still laughing.

I wished it lasted longer.

I wasn’t able to sleep that night. Coming to realize that I was in love with you has got to be the most exhilarating yet troublesome feeling I ever experienced.

And the songbirds keep singing, like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before, like never before, like never before

Now, fast forward to you slowly walking down this aisle. With your soft and serene smile, I couldn’t help myself from tearing up.

We’ve come a long way.

You stopped at me with my favorite smile.

“Thank you. I love you” you looked at me and whispered.

I smiled back at you … before you walked past me to finally reach your groom.  

No words can express how I feel right now.

People may not understand why I let myself in this position. People may say I should have just confessed my feelings for you. They may even say I should not have come to your wedding.

Believe me, there were countless times or situations I could’ve told you how I feel. I could’ve just kissed you or just tell you I want you more than anything in this world.

I didn’t confess because I know, deep in my heart, they were hopeless “could’ve-beens”. And that was me leaving first before you leave me. I’d rather us stay as friends than you leave me for confessing my feelings.

We weren’t meant to be together, and I came to believe that was fine.

You will always be my person.

My soulmate.

My Bora.