It had been officially six days since Irene had started to read Wendy’s letters one by one. Every single one had their own story behind them, but this one was the one she dreaded most. Irene knew because it was one that centered around them, but didn’t end with a happy ending. It’s hard to believe that it had only happened just a few weeks ago.

Still, taking another deep, brave breath, she reads.

Dear, Irene.

I’m sorry.

There are people who say that sometimes, people meet at the wrong time, or are not the right people when they fall in love. But I wonder what the world’s excuse is for us? I love you, you loved me. And we were old enough to be mature about it. We met at the right time. We were the right people. So why am I not with you, the same way you aren't with me?
 

“Wendy, Wendy please, open your eyes.” Irene begged as one of the professors, Mr. Kim, took Wendy in his arms. The other professors frantically called 119. Earlier, as soon as she snapped back to reality, Irene rushed to be by Wendy’s side, with Seohyun staring in shock. Irene is usually good at hiding what she truly feels, but Seohyun was on a whole other level. By anyone’s eyes, they’d think that Seohyun was a soulless woman who stared with no emotion, but to Irene’s observant eyes, she just about sees Seohyun’s trembling hands. 

As the ambulance arrived, Irene watched as the love of her life was put on a stretcher and hauled inside the car. Her heart felt like it was being torn into shreds, but she bit her lip, not wanting to let her emotions run wild. “Please be okay.” She prayed slowly. Maybe this was some other godly being punishing her, maybe she hadn't appreciated Wendy enough. Didn't love her enough. But she really tried her best. Irene did her best.

She watched as the ambulance zoomed away, and she felt empty. She felt like she should've done more. She felt like she should've forced herself to get in that ambulance. As the people who gathered went their ways after a few minutes, the area cleared. It was only her and Seohyun, standing there quietly.

There are a lot of things I want to apologize for, unnie. So I'll try to list them off one by one.

1.) I'm sorry for lying. I'm sorry I kept it from you. I justified it by saying that I wanted to tell you when I was ready, but you deserved to know. When I'm gone, you'll have to face your grief alone, thinking that you should've treated me better, when you treated me the best I've ever been treated. Don't think like that, unnie. You were the best. Really.

As soon as the professor finished their lesson, Irene was the first one up and leaving the room. Everyone who saw her pass by whispered and gossiped; Irene figured they all had probably heard about what had happened to Wendy, how she suddenly collapsed. And since everyone knew that she and Wendy were a thing, everyone gave her sympathetic looks, some even giving her a few words of comfort. 

But Irene didn’t find any in their soulless words. She went back to that time before she knew Wendy, when she was more reserved and closed off. Wendy had torn down her walls so much that Irene felt so vulnerable. She didn’t have her walls to help her. Irene felt like a small mouse trying to act strong in a place filled with hungry cats. 

Irene’s steps echo throughout the halls, rushing out of the university. People turn to see her when she rushed by them, ignoring everyone’s voices. So much so that she didn’t notice the figure chasing after her.

“Irene!” The raven doesn’t turn, only looking ahead. “Irene, listen!” When she finally did, she looked like she was ready to pounce at anyone who dared waste a second of her time. She didn’t need to be there, she needed to be at the hospital, where Wendy was. But Irene’s face softened when she saw it was Seohyun, who was looking back at her with a pent up expression. The professor was panting, and it was only then Irene realized Seohyun must’ve been calling her for a bit, chasing after her while Irene remained to have deaf ears.

“Sorry, professor, I… I was distracted,”

“I could tell,” Seohyun replied, trying to lighten up Irene’s mood. Then again Seohyun wasn’t the happiest either; she wasn’t exactly pleased to see her favorite student lying in the middle of the stage unconscious. “Are you going to visit her now?” Irene nodded. Seohyun hesitated, spacing for a few seconds. 

“Are you going too, professor? We could go together?” Seohyun thought about it for a moment, deeply in thought before she shook her head.

“No.” Seohyun put her hands in her pockets, looking down. “I don’t think I can see Wendy at the moment. Be safe though, and tell me how she is when you come back.”

The two linger. Irene bowed as she nodded, before they parted ways. Irene got in her car, looking back to where Seohyun was standing. Seohyun had a hand covering her eyes as she looked down. Irene’s heart ached even more; her Wendy was so loved by everyone, and somehow it was a light comfort to know that she wasn’t the only one worrying so much about her.

She drove off, looking ahead, mentally preparing her heart to see Wendy. 

2.) I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry that you had to see me like that. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I let it be like this. I tried so, so much, unnie. I tried to fight it off. I ate healthy, I slept well, but it still didn’t end the way I wanted to. I’m so, so, sorry for not being strong enough. 

When Wendy opened her eyes, it was to that sickly alcohol-filled smell and the disgusting white walls. There was a normal beep beep beside her; Wendy knew where she was immediately, but it devastated her. She definitely felt better, but she knew it was over. The jig was up. Irene found out.

Speaking of Irene, Wendy’s hand felt heavier, and when she turned, there Irene was, sleeping in an uncomfortable posture, hunched over. The younger’s jaw tightened, raising her hand to lift a few strands of hair off of Irene’s face so she could see her girlfriend better. She felt like crying again, knowing how Irene must have so many questions for her right now. Wendy can only imagine how bad she felt when she saw her passed out. Especially since Wendy had started to avoid her.

“I’m so sorry, unnie.” She croaked, a tear falling on Irene’s cheek, waking her up. When Irene blinked and her eyes processed Wendy being awake, she straightened up immediately. It was silent, and Irene kept her eyes on Wendy’s as the younger reached to wipe her tear from Irene’s face. 

“Are you okay?” Irene asked with obvious control, trying not to crack in front of Wendy. Irene knew that Wendy had a valid reason not to tell her, so she doesn’t want to ask anything just yet. She wants Wendy to take her time. Wendy shook her head. “Don’t cry.” Irene whispered. “You look ugly when you cry.”

Wendy rolled her eyes as she laughed. She doesn’t know how many times she’d cried in front of Irene; she’d only said that because Irene didn’t want to see her crying like this. 

“I feel horrible. I shouldn’t be the one crying. Why aren’t you asking me anything? Aren’t you curious?”
 

“Of course I am.”

Wendy stared into Irene’s eyes once more. She felt herself fall deeper, but there was a deep, great sadness in the older’s eyes. “You’re wondering why I didn’t tell you I was sick, aren’t you?”

Irene nodded.

Wendy’s shoulders dropped, getting ready to recall and go back to every single memory she’d long sealed away. Irene deserved to know. Irene’s asking because she cares. 

“I didn’t tell you because I wanted it to be my choice, unnie. I…” Her voice cracked. “I have hy