Dear, Irene.

Always.

Seohyun ran a hand down her face as she let out another disappointed sigh. It's been three hours since she'd been listening to Wendy practicing "Liebesleid," originally on the violin, then had a piano version by Rachamaninoff. As someone who's favorite pianist is Chopin, Seohyun thought Wendy would be able to get it immediately. Despite how it looks, both "La Campanella" and "Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2" are very difficult pieces, both of which Wendy had already mastered. And one of which she had immediately known how to play at ten years old, the very moment she saw the sheet music.

Wendy looked down in shame at the keys. Her heart always broke whenever she saw how disappointed Seohyun was. She'd found out on the first day of classes that she'd gotten into Rouge all because of Seohyun, who watched her previous performance where she'd made a colossal mistake. Seohyun had decided to give her a chance and put in a good word for her to the staff because she knew she was capable of more, and every pianist makes mistakes. Wendy doesn't want Seohyun to think that she made a mistake - even though she'd proved time and time again throughout the year that Seohyun made the best choice.

Seohyun noticed the times when Wendy's hands would suddenly stiffen, her eyes narrowed as she made a slow croak. When asked if she was fine, Wendy had always nodded, before asking for permission to play again. There was something odd about Wendy. It was around dusk too, so it was getting a little cold, but Wendy looked like she was wearing five layers of clothing, even when the AC was booming as well. Her lips were crusty and dry, her eyes slightly dissociated. Wendy couldn't seem to focus all that well.

"I think you should go to the hospital. There's something suspicious about you." Seohyun suggested when she finally pulled Wendy away from the piano, getting her to sit across from her. They were in Seohyun's office - when they were asked to apply for the professor they wanted to learn under, many chose Seohyun, but only 2 got accepted. It was Wendy and another student Wendy didn't know the name of.

"I- I'm fine, really! I can still keep going!" 

"No, you're not. And you can’t." Seohyun shook her head. "Either way, you should stop playing for now. If you continue, you might burn yourself out. Get a good rest or go to the hospital." Without anything more to say, Seohyun sat behind her desk, putting her hands together. "You're my favorite student, Wendy. I'd hate to see your talent go to waste. Get yourself checked out." Soon enough, Wendy departed, still looking the same haggard mess as she was earlier. 

It'd been a few weeks since your exams, Hyunnie. But the pain was starting to become unbearable. I felt lethargic most of the day, and I had no energy at all to do much. I knew I was losing myself. I knew that it was only gonna get harder from there. Forgive me for not telling you as soon as possible.

The moment Wendy arrived back at her dorm, she didn’t even close the door before she hurriedly went over to the sofa, burying her face against it. She let out a low mewl, her tears welling up in both frustration and pain - she knew she had to go back to the hospital at some point. But that would mean going back to the life she used to have, to go back to the painful memories she’d abandoned in order to start anew.

Maybe, back then, she had nothing to lose. Seunghee would be sad, but after the pain she’d seen Wendy go through, Seunghee would think that perhaps it would be better off, just so her sister would finally stop feeling pain. But now…

Now she has Irene. 

At that moment, Wendy’s phone rang in her pocket. She had to muster up enough strength just to look, seeing the name she had just been thinking about pop up on her lockscreen. She reached for it.

“Hey, how’ve you been? I miss you. Can we see each other soon?”

Wendy sighed in guilt. During her own exams, she had made a mental note to avoid avoiding Irene, but in all honesty she wants nothing more than to be with her at that moment. But she was tired and in pain, and those two were the two things Wendy didn’t want Irene to see. She did plan on going to the hospital for a mild check-up. It’s been awhile since she’d had one. But honestly, as much as it hurt she was stubborn as well. Slowly, Wendy typed.

“Soon? I’m a bit sick rn tho”

Wendy saw her message get read, which was weird, since Irene usually replied as soon as she saw her messages. Shrugging it off, Wendy gathered just enough strength through sheer will to close her door, starting to walk back to the sofa when the door bursts open, and Wendy felt like she was getting a heart attack - which, considering her state, is incredibly bad. 

She fell onto the floor, pupils dilated as she stared at Irene, who was beet red and panting, looking like she’d ran there. “Wendy!” Irene rushed towards her, taking her in her arms. Wendy giggled after the initial shock, trying to wave off Irene’s worry.

“Why did you get sick? Do you have a headache? A cold? Flu?” Wendy shook her head violently as Irene practically rapped. 

“Just tired.” Irene frowned, before she scooped the younger up in her arms, shutting the door with her foot before going to Wendy’s bedroom. Laying her down before she followed, Irene propped her elbow up, watching Wendy, who averted her gaze. “Stop frowning, you’ll get wrinkles.”

“But you’ll say that I look y.”

“And you do, but stop. You can’t look 70 when you’re not even past 25.”

“You’re so overdramatic.” Wendy made a face in a joking manner, already feeling better just having Irene close by. It’s a good thing the pain had subsided a bit prior to her arrival though, Wendy doesn’t want Irene to see anything. Until she’s ready for Irene to know that part of her, Irene cannot know. It had already robbed Wendy of so much - her grandfather, the love from her parents, and the freedom to live normally. She was granted just a few years to live like any other girl her age, she’d gotten greedy to save as many choices as she could, even though the numbers were dwindling.

“I’m not the one who rushed to her girlfriend’s dorm when all she said was that she was sick.”

“Your well-being will never be something I wouldn’t worry over, Wendy. You have to be with me for a very long time, can’t suddenly have you getting ill all of a sudden.” 

Irene didn’t mean anything by it, in fact, for anyone else, her words were sweet. But for Wendy, they felt like a weight dropped on her. She’d already failed Irene in that department.

“You promised, didn’t you? When we got together? That we’ll stay together forever?” Wendy nodded numbly, before pulling Irene close, just so she wouldn’t be able to see the pain in Wendy’s eyes. Irene was amazing at reading her, she can’t have her read her this time.

“How are practices going, by the way?”

“Not well,” Wendy admitted, much to Irene’s surprise. Everyone practically knows them both - Irene Bae, the Queen of the social science department, and Wendy, the prodigy in the music department. To say they were famous around campus would be a bit overkill, but whenever their name was passed around many generally knew something about them. And when they were together, it was something else. Everyone assumes the both of them are complete experts in their fields, and Irene thought the same. Wendy shot her a ‘why do you look so surprised?’ face, before returning to the topic.

“Whenever I play something, I usually have a story to back it up. Something that makes me feel the music. For La Campanella, it was triumph. The feeling of being completely invincible. For Chopin, well… you already know. But for this one…” The younger hesitated. It was a lie, a partial one at the least. The piece they were assigned, Liebesleid, can be translated to Love’s Sorrow. A piece where you say goodbye to the one you love most.

Perhaps it’s not about the lack of a story, but the lack of the courage to tell it.