All Sowon was thinking about was her mother, her fear to come back was way behind the worries about her mother’s health. She couldn’t believe her mother hid this from her, how could she just hide it and not tell her sooner. Of course Sowon would have come back, she would have taken care of her mother.

Sowon left a long time ago to find herself and become someone worth her mother’s love but it cost her to be so far away from her mother. And now she was about to lose her without being able to be by her side… Sowon really couldn’t believe it.

She felt sick, she felt like she abandoned her mother all this time, imagining her alone, dealing with this… Sowon hated herself, she really hated herself, she had always hated herself but now even more.

As they were getting closer Sowon felt more and more sick, she didn’t know how to face the city she ran away from. 

Her mother wasn’t the only one telling lies. Sowon ran away, she didn’t just leave for her studies, she was literally running away, scared of who she was, scared of her feelings. When Sowon realized she was different it scared her.

All this time she felt bad about herself, about loving girls. When she realized what was happening she couldn't accept it, she wanted to avoid the girl that woken up those feelings in her, she hoped that by being far away it would disappear, that if she became someone important, a good students, a good lawyer then it would be enough to hid this flaw of hers.

But now she was back and those feelings were still here. Sowon’s feelings never changed all those years. So all she could do was focus on her studies but now her memories flashed through her eyes and she knew she would have to face this sooner or later.

After her flight, Sowon had to take the train, then the bus to arrive in her hometown. Her mother couldn’t pick her up as she wasn’t allowed to drive anymore because of her state. She walked from the bus stop to her house. She used her old key and entered without ringing, she closed back behind herself and walked in. It smelled so good, she had missed her house. Everything was the same, only a new vase with nice flowers in it. It was Sowon’s favorites, she smelled them and smiled.

“I’m home.” she said as she arrived in the living room. Her mom was sitting on the couch and smiled as she saw her. Sowon left her suitcase and walked to her mother to hug her.

They heard the keys and the front door opened. Sowon frowned but didn’t let go of her mother. She had missed her so much. It was so good to be in her arms again, smelling her sweet perfume and feeling her warm embrace, it was reassuring.

“It’s me, I got you that magazine you wanted and I’ve got the groceries for preparing diner.” said a voice that Sowon recognized but was so surprised to hear right now. “Oh sorry I didn’t know you had someone over.” apologized the young girl as she reached the living room.

Sowon let go of her mother and turned to look at the short girl standing there, as shocked as Sowon to see her.

“Eunha?” asked Sowon as she stood up.

Eunha in shock dropped the grocery bag. “Sowon? You finally came back?” asked Eunha before looking at Sowon’s mother with a questioning look.

“Yes I’m back, and you, what are you doing here?” she asked now.

“I’m just passing by to bring some stuff to your mom.” explained Eunha.

Sowon looked at Eunha’s hand, she was holding the keys. “She gave you her keys?” she asked and Eunha nodded.

“Of course honey, Eunha is my little angel.” said Sowon’s mother, smiling and making a sign for Eunha to approach but the younger girl shook her head. “She’s taking care of me, she’s been a real support for me.” she explained as Eunha looked down.

“Well if Sowon’s here I will leave you two together, you probably have a lot to talk about right?” she said eyeing Sowon’s mother and Sowon’s frowned.

“What’s that look between you two?” asked Sowon.

“Nothing.” just said Eunha.

“You can stay with us.” said Sowon’s mother but Eunha shook her head again.

“No thank you, I have some other stuff to do right now.” said Eunha and Sowon could clearly see it was a lie. The two have been best friends since kindergarten. “Here.” said Eunha picking up the bag and giving it to Sowon before turning around to look at the older lady. “See you tomorrow Ms Kim.” politely said Eunha before walking away.

Sowon put the groceries on the couch and followed Eunha. “Wait.” she called but Eunha didn’t stop so Sowon caught her arm. “Eunha…?”

Eunha stopped in the entrance and turned to face Sowon who swallowed hard, she hadn't seen the girl in years, neither talked to her but the feelings were still here.

“She told you right?” asked Eunha coldly. The short girl was even prettier than in Sowon’s memories. Her soft skin, her sweet eyes and cute lips. She looked so mature and adult now, also more fierce than before.

Sowon nodded slowly. “She called last week…How bad is it…?”

“Her tumor keeps growing and she starts losing her mind... she often loses consciousness and vomits a lot… I’m not sure she will be able to stay home alone for long… her doctor wants her to go to a special institute.” explained Eunha.

“Why has no one told me before? If I had known I would have come back way earlier to take care of her…” said Sowon quite mad now. “Just imagining her all alone and sick…Why didn't you tell me? you know how important she is to me! You know my mom is my only family right?” asked Sowon raising her voice as she was really mad to know about that only now when her mom was sick for almost two years.

Eunha frowned. “She wasn’t alone and you made clear some years ago that you didn’t want anything to do with me or any of our friends so how did you expect me to contact you when you blocked me and erased me from your life suddenly?!” asked Eunha frowning and Sowon looked down. “I did try to contact you this past few weeks with my work phone, but you never answered.” she added before coldly freeing her arm and leaving the house.

Sowon sighed and took her head in her hands. 

“Are you two fighting again?” asked Sowon’s mother from the living room. Her voice was so weak that Sowon barely heard her.

She took a deep breath and put a fake smile on her face before turning around. “No mom, we aren’t fighting again, don’t worry.” said Sowon walking to her mom.

“Good I didn’t like the last time you two fought… it was just before you left…” said the woman before pointing her finger behind Sowon. “Can you bring the wheelchair closer honey?” she asked and Sowon obeyed. Her mother stood up slowly and sat in the wheelchair before taking the groceries Eunha brought and rolling to the kitchen.

“Usually Eunha stays and cooks with me.” said the woman sadly.

“Well I’m here I will help you now.” said Sowon as it was her mission to be the one helping her mother in this moment. “Do you really need that wheelchair mom?” asked Sowon, looking at her mother sadly.

“Recently I have had more and more difficulty standing up, I lost balance and fell a lot, Eunha said it would be safer and she’s right, it’s way better since she got this for me.” explained the older woman.

“Eunha has really been around a lot recently right….?” she asked and the woman smiled.

“She’s kinda always been around, since the day you left she would come check on me often and spend time with me. She visited me on the first crisis and found me on the floor, she called the doctor and even came with me to the hospital, she held my hand all along and was by my side when they announced the bad new, since that day she would come more often and make sure I’m fine and doesn’t need anything. When my crisis gets bad she would spend some days here and sleep in the house to be around if anything bad happens… that’s why I don’t want you to be mad at her, she’s been so good to me.” explained the mother clearly caring and loving Eunha a lot.

“I’m not mad at her mom… it’s complicated…” said Sowon looking down but her mom hit her arm. “Ouch!” hissed Sowon. “What was that for?”

“It shouldn’t be complicated, she’s your childhood best friend, you’ve been glued to each other since you were 5 years old. How could it suddenly be complicated?” asked the woman.

“It just is mom, we are just different, growing up we realized we wanted different things in life.” said Sowon busying herself in cutting the vegetable to avoid looking her mother in the eyes.

“That’s not what she told me.” just said the woman approaching the table and putting the meat on it to cut it too.

Sowon suddenly looked curious. “And what did she say exactly?” asked Sowon, looking at her mom.

The woman didn’t look at her daughter. “She said you ran away.” 

Sowon stayed silent and continued to prepare dinner. She thought about the last time she saw Eunha, how the two fought, and how she lied to her, how she just ran away scared to face her feelings. Feelings that were eating her up since then. She said harsh things the last time but it made it easier for Sowon to leave that way, she used all the frustration she was feeling and the anger toward herself for not being brave enough and used it against Eunha to push her away.

Making stupid excuses and yelling some non sense hoping Eunha would hate her as much as Sowon hated herself. The tall girl didn’t think she would see Eunha again after that. She hoped she would forget her and that her feelings would vanish but they were still here, her heart was heavy, so heavy that it was hurting badly.

Eunha was almost like a stranger now, but at the same time it was like Sowon never left, everything was still so strong, so here. Sowon wondered how it was possible to feel this for so long… why it didn’t fade away since the time, why couldn’t she feel this for someone else, why her heart must still ache for the girl she let down and ran away from years ago…

“Sowon?” asked her mother and Sowon came out of her thoughts. “I think we have enough potatoes.” said her mother pointing at the table and Sowon looked down at the mountain of peeled potatoes in front of her, there was enough to feed at least 20 persons.

“I’m sorry I lost track of how many I was peeling.” said Sowon, starting to put some away in the fridge for later.

Her mother started massaging her temples and Sowon frowned. “Are you okay?” she asked worried and her mother nodded.

“I will just lay some minutes on the couch… can you continue the cooking?” asked the woman.

“Yeah of course,” said Sowon frowning. “Do you need help to get on the couch?”

“I should be fine honey.” smiled the woman as she left the kitchen and Sowon swallowed hard, she hated seeing her mother like that. 

She hit the table with her fist in anger and finished cooking, allowing tears to run from her eyes as she thought about her mother's illness.

Once everything was done, Sowon went to the living room and found her mother napping on the couch. Sowon sat beside her and caressed her cheek slowly, she had missed her mother so much.

She looked so calm sleeping, painless, her face seemed so relaxed, she looked even younger. Sowon smiled and kissed her mother’s forehead. She stayed there a moment, beside the sleeping woman, covering her with a blanket making sure she wouldn't be cold.

Sowon’s mother kept sleeping for hours and Sowon didn’t have the heart to wake her up as she was looking relaxed.

Sowon started eating alone when she heard a soft knock on the door. She walked there and found Eunha at the door.

“Eunha?” she was surprised to see the girl again.

Eunha looked up and extended her arm to give Sowon a magazine. “I forgot to give that to your mother earlier.” said Eunha looking everywhere but in Sowon’s eyes.

Sowon gently took the magazine. “Thanks.” she breathed out.

“I bet she’s asleep?” asked Eunha and Sowon nodded. “She looked so tired earlier, be careful she may wake up totally lost in the middle of the night.” said Eunha and Sowon sighed.

“Eunha… I…” Sowon bit her lips. “I’m sorry.” she just said as no other words came out. “I've been awful to you earlier while all you did was taking care of my mother all this time.” she started. “Since everything that happened between us I didn’t think you would do something like that for me.”

Eunha looked up and frowned. “I didn’t do it for you. I really care about your mother, she’s like a mom to me, you know I lost mine when I was 3 and I only have my dad so your mother is very important to me too.” said Eunha sincerely. “I don’t care about you anymore, you made your choice and I respected it so don’t ask me anything more.” 

“You’re right.” said Sowon looking down. “But really I’m sorry… and maybe we can put all this behind us and just be there for my mom? she really missed you today, she kept talking about you and was sad you didn’t stay to cook with us…” said Sowon sincerely and Eunha hesitated.

The short girl bit her lips together. “Okay but once again, I’m doing it for your mom and only your mom.”

Sowon nodded. “Right, I get it.” she said and they both stayed silent.

After some seconds Sowon made sign for Eunha to enter. “Wanna come in, I was about to eat, mom is sleeping and I cooked enough for at least 20 people so you could stay for dinner if you want.” proposed Sowon not really knowing why she did that, being alone with Eunha wasn’t the best idea but damn she missed the short girl.

Eunha hesitated again. “Maybe it’s better if you are here when mom wakes up…” added Sowon and Eunha finally entered the house.

They whispered as they passed in the living room. Eunha looked tenderly at the sleeping woman.

“She looks so at peace when she sleeps.” whispered the short girl and Sowon stood beside her nodding. 

“Maybe you can tell me more about her state because she didn’t enter the details and I need to know how it all started…” said Sowon and Eunha nodded while they left the living room and went into the kitchen.