Sowon was sorting her last files of the day, it had been quite boring but she needed this job, she wanted to continue her studies, she wanted to finally graduate with her lawyer diploma, she needed the money, she needed this job to pay for her flat and bills. 

She had left her home just after high school for a university far away from her hometown, for years she was only focusing on her studies. Busying herself to a point where she wouldn’t go out or talk to anyone. All she wanted was to make her mother proud. 

Sowon was scared to disappoint her mom who was her only parent. She never met her dad, he left when her mother was pregnant. Sowon was close to her mother but since she left she would barely call or get any news as her mind was only on courses and work.

She wanted to come back home one day but first she had some stuff to deal with, she wanted to come back with her lawyer diploma and a good job.

Sowon wanted to show she was worth it. That even if she had flaws, she would be worth her mother’s love and it was killing her to think that one day she would disappoint her.

In this town Sowon didn’t make many friends. At university she tried to be outgoing and have fun at the beginning but it didn’t last long, now even after some years there she had some classmates who she did projects with but she never got close to anyone. 

At work, in a lawyer agency, she was making coffees and sorting files, she was invisible to the lawyers working there but she didn’t mind as she was well paid and would have an eye inside this type of agency. She admired their work and wished she could work with them in some years.

When it was time to leave it was already dark outside. Sowon stopped to buy some food and went back to her small apartment. She closed the door behind her and changed into more comfy clothes. She was tired, so tired. Her phone rang, she checked it but it as an ID she didn’t know and she wouldn't answer unknown calls. She sighed and put the phone away. It was the third time this week she had a call like that. 

She ate her food and opened her books, it was her second year in law school she worked hard in university to be accepted in this school and she would work even harder now. She would go to her classes, then go to work and study all night before going back to school, then to work to get back home and study again. It was her routine now, she was used to it. 

Sowon fell asleep on her books and woke up some hours later to get ready for school. Around 4 hours of sleep were necessary, the rest was handled by a lot of coffee. She got ready and left her flat. As she was at the bus stop she felt her phone ringing again.

Annoyed she took it out but this time it wasn’t an unknown call, it was her mother’s name on the screen.

Sowon frowned, her mother wouldn’t call her often, they used to call each other around christmas and share news from the years so Sowon was confused. It was mid november so she wondered what her mother wanted.

She answered and immediately calmed down as she heard her mother’s sweet voice.

“Sowon?” asked her mother hesitating. “Do you hear me?”

“Yeah mom it’s me.” finally answered Sowon.

“How are you honey?” she asked and Sowon smiled.

“I’m fine, I’m on my way to school right now, you call me so early, is everything okay for you?” asked Sowon now.

Her mother cleared . “I just wanted to know how you were doing and if you were thinking about coming back this year?” she asked and Sowon bit her lips, she stood up and started walking around.

“I don’t think I will be able to come this year, I really have a lot of work…”

“You haven't come back since years, maybe this year you could do it for me…?” insisted her mother and Sowon hesitated.

“Well maybe I can come for 2 or 3 days, I will see.” she answered not wanting to make her mother sad but to be honest Sowon wasn’t ready to come back home, since she left, 5 years ago she avoided coming back home.

“Can’t you come for at least a week?” insisted again her mother and Sowon frowned.

“Why do you want me to come home so bad mom?” she suddenly asked and as she looked up she saw her bus pass but it didn’t stop. “!” she mumbled frustrated.

“What’s wrong?” asked her mother and Sowon sighed.

“I missed my bus.” answered Sowon as she walked closer to the bus stop and looked at what time was next. “Next one is in 40 minutes.”

“I’m sorry honey, I made you lose your time…” apologized Sowon’s mother but Sowon shook her head.

“No mom, I’m happy to hear you, I miss you, you know.” she said sincerely.

“I miss you too honey and I would love to spend the christmas holiday with you.” said her mother again. “I didn’t want to tell you sooner but I’m sick…”

“What?” asked Sowon confused. “You caught a cold or something?” she asked her mother.

“No honey, it’s not a cold, it’s been two years now and it’s getting worse…” started to explain the mother. “The doctor said there's nothing more to do now so I want to be able to see you again for this holiday in case I don’t make it till the next…”

“Mom no, what are you talking about?” asked Sowon, more and more confused. “It can’t be true, why would you say it to me only now?” she panicked now. She started walking back to her apartment without really realizing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to bother you, I didn’t want you to worry about me, you were so focused on your studies…We were hoping it would get better with time but the tumor is getting bigger...” explained Sowon’s mother.

“But mom... you can’t hide it from me, like you knew about it for two years?!” asked Sowon as she reached her street now. “You should have told me sooner!”

“I wanted to but I was scared…”

“You know what?” said Sowon as she entered her flat and dropped her bag on the couch. “I will call the school and my work and tell them I have to leave for some time.” said Sowon determined.

“You can’t drop everything now after all your hard work… See I was scared you would put me first and forget about your future and your studies because of me…” said her mother but Sowon was mad now.

“Of course mom! You’re way more important than my studies! What were you thinking?” 

They stayed silent for some minutes before a low cry arrived in Sowon's ear. “I’m sorry…I don’t want you to be mad at me...” said her mother, clearly crying now.

Sowon’s eyes were getting red and tears started to run on her cheeks. “Don’t apologize mom…I don’t want us to fight either...” 

They stayed silent again until Sowon sighed. “Listen I will come over, I will ask my teachers if they can send me the lessons so I can still study and I will call my work too, it’s not my dream job you know I just make coffee and sort files all day long so it’s okay if I leave.” she explained. “Give me some days to organize everything.” she said.

“Okay.” just said her mother. 

“So I see you soon?” asked Sowon.

“Yeah, I love you.” said her mother and Sowon bit her lips.

“Love you too mom.”

As Sowon hung up she let herself fall on her bed and she cried. She didn’t mind staying in there for hours, she just needed it.

Later that day she recomposed herself and started organizing her departure. 

The next days she left her job and no one seemed to care, she saved some money over the years so she would be fine till she came back and found another job. Then she called her teacher, she explained she would go back home for the holiday and that she would leave at the end of the week and come back only after the Christmas holiday. Since she was a very good student most teachers agreed to send her the lessons so she could study from home.

Once this was done, she bought her plane tickets and prepared her suitcase. Less than one week after her mother’s call, at 6 in the morning she was at the airport ready to fly back home.