Karina’s POV

 

 

“Adi..”

 

 

I couldn’t help myself, wala na akong halos makita dahil nanlalabo na ang mga mata ko sa sobrang pag-iyak ni hindi ko na maramdaman ang sakit ng sugat ko sa braso sa pagkakabaril sa akin ni Kai para akong namanhid, wala akong ibang iniisip kung hindi si Minjeong.

 

“Karina..please..hindi ka pwedeng sumunod sa loob.” pigil sa akin ni Ate Jessica. “ma’am gagawin naming ang lahat para iligtas siya..” hindi malinaw ang mga salita ng doctor dahil pakiramdam ko unti unting tumahimik ang mundo ko nang ipasok nila si Minjeong sa loob ng emergency room.

 

 

Bakit?

 

Bakit kailangan mangyari ito?

 

Bakit siya pa?

 

 

“Karina..” naramdaman kong may lumapit na nurse sa akin. I couldn’t feel my feet nanghihina ang buong Sistema ko that’s why I stayed on the floor, the nurse didn’t mind at sinubukan pa ring lagyan ng bandage ang sugat ko. This is nothing compared to what happened to her, muli akong napatingin sa pinto ng emergency room.

 

“you can make it..you will make it..puppy..” bulong ko sa sarili ko.

 

Sobrang bigat ng puso ko, pakiramdam ko paulit ulit akong dinudurog ng paulit ulit. Paulit ulit kong nakikita na nabaril si Winter sa utak ko. It happened because of me..I was the one to blame.

 

If something bad will happen to her I don’t know kung mapapatawad ko ang sarili ko. I can’t..continue without her. She is my everything, the love of my life.

 

Kim Minjeong, adi, mahal, my puppy.

 

“karina..” I felt ate’s presence beside me. “she will make it..she will live for you.” I do want to believe it too, dahil wala akong ibang pwedeng panghawakan kung hindi ang mga pangako niya sa akin na hindi niya ako iiwan.

 

I sat on the bench outside the emergency room, hours have passed but wala pa ring lumalabas na doctor. My friends came after nila magpunta sa police station, Ate Taeyeon...she was crying so bad. Kanina pa siya tahimik na nakaupo sa kabilang side ng bench na inuupuan ko, I told Ate Jessica to look after her muna. I know she’s hurting as much as I do or maybe more dahil Minjeong means a lot to her.

 

“rina..” naramdam ko na umupo si Yeji sa tabi ko, hindi ko mapigilang umiyak ulit.

 

“she’ll..she’ll make it right..?” tanong ko kay yeji.

 

 

I know she will.

 

She promised me, hindi niya ako iiwan.

 

 

“don’t worry.” napatingin ako kay ryujin. “si kim minjeong yan, she will survive for sure.” Ryujin smiled kahit na halatang nag-aalala din siya, halata sa mga mata niya ang kaba at takot para sa kaibigan niya.

 

Napatingin ako sa mga kaibigan namin na naghihintay lahat sa labas ng emergency room. I know I don’t pray that much but..

 

“God..don’t take her away from me..save her pleases..” I whispered bago ko ipikit ang mga mata ko.

 

 

“I love you, adi.”

“what if magpakasal na tayo ngayon?”

“I wanna spend the rest of my sunset with you.”

“from sunrise till sunset with you.”

 

 

Nagf-flashback sa akin lahat ng memories namin ni Minjeong, everything from the first time that I met her hanggang sa tuluyan na siyang ma-include sa buhay ko. Who would have thought..na mamahalin ko siya ng sobra sobra katulad nito.

 

Yung mga kaibigan kong against sa kanya nung una dahil isa siyang red flag, lahat sila ngayon gustong gusto na siya dahil nakita nila lahat ng pagbabago kay Winter simula nung nakilala niya ako and simula nung nagkaroon kami ng deal..hanggang sa magkatotoo yung pagpapanggap naming dalawa.

 

Winter saved me from a heartbreak na akala ko ay hindi na ako makaka-ahon. I didn’t expect this, she fell first but I guess I fell harder. Hindi mahirap mahalin ang katulad niya.

 

 

---

 

 

Ilang oras na ang lumilipas pero nasa loob pa rin ang mga doctor, some of my friends went out para bumili ng maiinom, Ate Jessica went with Ate Taeyeon sa isang nurse since nahirapan siyang huminga kanina. I stayed outside the emergency room with Ning and Lia. “what’s taking them so long..” rinig kong bulong ni Lia.

 

Habang tumatagal sila sa loob mas lalong bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko dahil sa halo halong emotion na nararamdaman ko, takot, kaba, lungkot at sakit.

 

Hindi ko na alam.

 

Sabay sabay kaming napatingin sa glass door ng bumukas ito. “doc..kumusta siya..? she’s safe right?” agad kong tanong, hindi ko mabasa ang mukha ng doctor. “we did everything we could.” umpisa niya. “she was shot directly sa vital organ niya, we had a hardtime taking out the bullet.”

 

“but..she’s alive right? she made it..tell me she made it.” pakiusap ko sa kanila.  

 

“karina..” naramdaman kong hinawakan ni Ning ang mga kamay ko, narinig ko rin ang pagdating ng mga kaibigan ko at nila Ate.

 

“Doc, kumusta ang kapatid ko?”

 

“I’ll be honest with you. I don’t think she’ll survive the night.”

 

“what do you mean..?”

 

“we almost lost her kanina but we managed to revive her, she lost a lot of blood, and she was shot badly.”

 

“I don’t want to give you any false hope..but we did what we can do. I am sorry.”

 

No.

 

This can’t be.

 

She will live.

 

Minjeong will live.

 

“minjeong..” ate taeyeon broke down in tears again..ramdam ko na naman ang paglabo ng buong paligid ko ng magsimulang mamuo ang mga luha sa mata ko.

 

“adi..”

 

 

prove them wrong..you’ll survive right? you’ll live for me..for us, puppy.

 

 

No one could stop me from entering the room kung nasaan siya.  I want to see her; I want to see my girlfriend. Minjeong won’t give up that quickly, she won’t break her promise.

 

“mahal..” I saw her lying with a lot of machines attached on her body. “hey, adi. I’m here..you can hear me right..?” hinawakan ko ang kamay niya. “you can feel me holding your hand right..?” I smiled. “I won’t leave here until gumising ka..i will be here the moment you wake up.”

 

“I promise..adi.” I shut my eyes para pigilan ang mga luha na unti unting bumabagsak sa mga mata ko. I should be strong for her, if hindi naniniwala ang mga doctor na mabubuhay siya..pwes hindi ako tulad nila.

 

I know Adi.

 

I won’t lose hope, our hope. She will wake up, she will live, we will build our family pa nga e. We’ll get married, adopt dogs and cats, we didn’t talk about having kids, but we have a lot of years to go.

 

“please..lumaban ka ha? wag kang bibitaw mahal ko.” I looked at her again, I really don’t know what to do kapag nawala ka sa akin.

 

“I love you so much, Kim Minjeong. I love you so damn much.”

 

I held her hand tightly like what I said I won’t leave here; they tried asking me to rest kanina pa but nandito na ako sa pahinga ko. I won’t leave her kahit anong mangyari. It’s been hours inside this room I couldn’t take my eyes from her, I just want to stare at her because it’s calming.

 

My eyes was about to close when I heard a beep sa heart monitor niya..I couldn’t see it clearly dahil blurry pa rin ang mga mata ko mula sa pag-iyak, I just can’t help it.

 

wait..

 

napabalikwas ako ng tayo nang makita kong naging straight ang linya ng heartbeat niya.

 

no..

 

“doc..doc!!” agad kong sigaw, tumakbo ako palabas ng kwarto para maghanap ng doctor sinalubong ako nila Ate sa labas. “karina, what happened?”

 

“k-kailangan ni minjeong ng doctor..ate please! doc!” I couldn’t speak properly mabuti na lang ay may dumaan na doctor malapit sa amin kaya agad silang pumasok sa kwarto kung nasaan si Minjeong. “please..save her..please..” I begged, crying.

 

“please no..” Ate Taeyeon started crying again when she realized kung anong ginagawa ng doctor sa loob ngayon.

 

 

They are trying to revive, minjeong.

 

 

GOD PLEASE.

 

 

DON’T TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME. I AM BEGGING YOU. PLEASE.

 

 

Bawat minutong lumilipas ay mas lalo akong nahihirapan huminga, I couldn’t function well knowing na nag-aagaw buhay si Winter ngayon. I won’t accept it. Kailangan niyang mabuhay.

 

“ate..she will be fine right..?” ate Jessica was trying to be strong for both of us, ate taeyeon and I.

 

“s-she will.” Ate Jessica hugged me tighter, my friends who chose to stay lahat sila umiiyak, Ryujin who was trying to be strong kanina pa finally gave up, she cried-she broke down in tears.

 

After few minutes ay lumabas na ang doctor mula sa kwarto kung nasaan si Winter. “doc..” bumagsak ako sa pagkakatayo ko ng makita ko ang puting kumot na nakatakip sa katawan ni Winter.

 

“no..” ate taeyeon whispered. “no..no..she’s not..she’s not dead!” sigaw niya. “do everything! save my sister goddamn it!” ate taeyeon lost it.

 

“I am sorry but..she didn’t make it.”

 

 

No. Th