Su-Ryeon takes in her surroundings, her eyes filled with a mix of curiosity and apprehensiveness when she enters the third class community room. People are dancing together to the notes of “An Irish Party” Others are drinking at table with their friends, laughing loudly. Su-Ryeon gets seated while a little girl Logan befriended dance with him.

She gasps when she spots Yoon Hee in the distance dancing with Yoonchul.

“Well done Yoonhee-ah…it’s great to see you enjoying yourself” she thinks. One man is trying to chat with her but he isn’t speaking the same language as her. He gives up a short while after. Junki brings beers to the table, she takes the glass he is holding to her.

“How refreshing…I didn’t drink any for a long time…missed it” she thinks after taking a good sip.

“Just sitting here and looking at people is already fun…they are so lively…first class cannot compare” The first song is over and Logan is now walking toward her to invite her to dance.

Su-Ryeon looks at him, surprised.

“Come on, come with me” he says, taking her hand and dragging her toward the center of the room amongst the crowd.

“Logan…wait…I can’t do this” she protested, embarrassed.

“Of course you can…we will have to get closer” he answers, pulling her close.

‘The first thing that hits him when he does is her sweet lavender scent. He closes his eyes briefly to take it in before leaning in to talk to her, making her tense up imperceptibly

“Is that lavender ? I totally assumed you would be the kind to wear rose’s fragrance…but it really suits you…luxurious, pure and gracious…perfect match” he says innocently. Troubled, she looks down.

“It’s not going to work…he acts so unbothered, saying these kinds of things when we are stuck to each other…how can I remain collected here ?” she thinks as he takes her hand in his.

“I don’t know how to dance this at all,” she says when they begin to dance.

“I don’t either…just go with it, it will be fine…don’t think”

She wouldn’t have time to think as they are spinning around the room, doing one dance after one another. Her own head is spinning and she is so sweaty all over her loose curls stick to her face but finally she is having real fun.

“If they saw me like this they would probably lock me forever…but I don’t care, I feel good right now”

“Finally you’re laughing without a care in the world, as you should” he thinks.

 

They finally take a break after a while and go over to a table to drink.

Su-Ryeon gulps down her beer quickly to Logan’s amazement. She turns her head toward him. “What…you think a first class’s girl can’t drink ?” she asks. Both laugh when someone collides into Logan, his whole glass spilling over them. Su-Ryeon lifts the corner of her dress, laughing again.

“Are you alright ?” he asks, wiping off her shoulders.

“Your hair just got washed in beer…please don’t worry about me here” she answers, teasing him. “I’m fine” she adds, placing a hand on his shoulder before turning around.

Over the table, Junki is having an arm wrestling contest with another passenger. Su-Ryeon reaches for his cigarette, removing it and locking it between her lips, taking a puff.

“So…You think you’re tough ? let’s see you do this then” She takes a few steps backward and holds out her dress’s train to Logan.

“Hold this for me Logan, hold it up” Logan complies, curious. Su-Ryeon begins to rise on her feet, all eyes fixated on her in surprise and amazement. When she is fully standing on her tip-toes she stumbles, falling directly in Logan’s arms. Everyone claps around her.

“Are you alright ?”

“I haven’t done that in years,” she explains, laughing. The party is nearing it’s end and the passengers start dancing the farandole, both join them along with Yoonchul and Yoonhee.

Su-Ryeon is having so much fun she doesn’t notice Mr. Jo is observing them from afar. He turns around to go back and report to his employer.

 

Su-Ryeon shivers when they step out outside to head toward her cabin after the end of the evening, without saying anything he removes his jacket and wraps it around her shoulders.

She wouldn’t know how they came to this after chatting a while but they started singing somehow.

“I’m dreaming*

With a fluttering heart

I’m looking at you

With a pounding heart, without knowing

Like today

A white star came down into my heart

It’s floating and shining in your eyes

I’m drawing you out

Blankly, on the colored sky

I’m turning around

Because of chance

Like today”

They didn’t notice but they are almost at the first class’s entrance, just next to a recess where a bench sits. Su-Ryeon turns around, her face serious again. She removes Logan’s jacket and gives it back to him.

“Here we are,” she says, forcing a smile.

“I don’t want to go back,” she adds.

She knows she shouldn’t say that kind of thing, what was she hoping for ? that he would prevent her from leaving ? Logan stays silent, considering her.

She lifts her head, looking at the sky.

“Look…it’s so beautiful…so fast and endless…they are so small…” Logan keeps looking at the sky too, simply smiling.

“My class…they consider themselves as giants…when they’re not even dust in God’s eyes” she adds, leaning toward him. He finally looked at her, his tone teasing.

“There must have been a mistake…you’re not one of them…you’ve got mailed to the wrong address” Su-Ryeon laughs.

“I did, didn’t I ? But isn’t Logan the same ?” Logan arches an eyebrow.

“What do you mean ?”

“You looked so comfortable at dinner, as if you had already been in that kind of setting before…we could totally mistake you as one of us”

“I don’t know if I should take it as a compliment here” she laughs again. She grabs his arm

“Look…a shooting star” Logan looks down at his arm once the star has made her way.

“Aren’t we supposed to make a wish ?” she asks, cheerful. Logan lay a mysterious gaze on her.

“Why ? What do you wish for ?” Su-Ryeon's smile vanishes. Her eyes were drawn to his lips and it was her first mistake.

“Something I can’t have, unfortunately” she says in a whisper. The air fills imperceptibly with tension around them.

She should have bid goodbye to him just after her sentence and left as soon as possible, but she didn’t. She shouldn’t have let herself be dragged away where absolutely nobody will see them. But it was too tempting. The scene seemed oddly familiar to her as he lifted her chin slowly, his hand diffusing warmth in her whole body. She had still a split second to push him away and her wish would just stay at is it, a mere fantasy. But she didn’t, worse she pulled him closer when they locked lips, losing herself completely in the embrace.

“I think I may have been fallen victim to a prank by the Oneiro’s brothers here…Morpheus dragged me in a dream and Phantasus is showing me a mere illusion…but it looks so real…but…” an intoxicating peppermint taste overwhelm her as he takes the kiss deeper, trapping her against the wall. Her mind is temporarily rendered completely blank, startling her out of her internal monologue.

“I know what comes next…there was 3 brothers…the next one is Ikelos, the god of nightmares…what I am doing could end up badly…but I don’t care anymore…the only thing that matters now is your lips on me” she thinks, pulling him even closer. They break away, breathless. her arms still around his neck. The thrill made her feel dizzy.

“This is what you feel when you kiss someone you desire ?” she thinks, her heart racing. What she hears next makes it beat even faster, but not from excitement this time. People are approaching and she is brought back to reality in an unpleasant way. She pushes him away with regret.

“I am sorry…I need to go…we cannot be seen together like this' ' Logan looks at her, with a slightly pained expression, but he moves away from her. His gaze follows her all the way to the first class entrance, the sound of the door deafening when she closes it behind her, leaving him alone in the night.

 

He comes back to his cabin, his mind in a daze. Yoon Chul is already asleep when he enters and he is both relieved and distressed.

That whole day was madness, but a good kind of madness.

“I cannot turn back now, Su-Ryeon-ssi…you have trapped me for good now…my lavender and blackberry goddess…I can only hope to steal you away from that jerk…even if I need to enter the snake’s pits and even return to being one again…” he reach out for his pocket, getting out a signet ring. This is his only souvenir from his days back as an official member of the Lee family. It was gifted to him by his grandmother, Emma Lee.

Getting to kiss her earlier, it drives him insane, because it leaves him wishing for more.

“The urge to make you mine….I don’t want to lose time” he thinks, picturing her perfectly under his closed eyelids. Silken material slipping off her heavenly body, revealing her ivory rose tinted skin bit by bit, each second it takes being a torture. Her, laying on a bed, her silky hair spread on the mattress, forming a halo around her head. Her heart shaped lips breaking into a smile as to . Her body turning dangerously hot as she twists under him, her usually sweet and ethereal voice trembling.

“How I wish I could possess you right this instant…” His decision is made

“Should I go back here ? if I can have you, is that important even if I end up trapped by my father ?” He is fully aware he is only deluding himself. Even if he came back, there is no guarantee he could make them break up at all. But there is a glimmer of hope, and it’s making its way in him and he cannot dispel it. He has trouble falling asleep after, still bothered by the persistent image of Shim Su-Ryeon in his mind.

 

April 14th, day of the sinking, in the morning.

 

The next morning, as both Su-Ryeon and Dantae are having breakfast in their private promenade deck, only the occasional sound of porcelain tea-cups being rested on the table and silverware getting into contact with their plates could be heard.

Su-Ryeon is strained. She barely slept last night after what happened.

Yoonhee breaks the heavy silence by offering coffee to Dantae. He shakes his head, his stare fixated on Su-Ryeon who purposely lays her gaze down, focusing on stirring her tea.

Dan Tae gestures silently to the employees to leave with his hand. Yoonhee tries to cross her friend’s eyes but that one doesn’t lift her head. She gets out of the room.

“I hope you attended to me last night” Su-Ryeon flinches but still doesn’t look at Dantae.

“I was tired,” she explains. Dantae nods.

“Of course…your exertions below deck were no doubt exhausting” She finally looks at him.

“I see that you had that undertaker of a manservant following me…how typical” she answers, placing down her cup.

“Listen to me…you will never behave like that ever again, understood ?” Su-Ryeon’s gaze hardens slightly, her tone curt.

“I am not one of your foremen who you can command…I am your fiance” Dan Tae observes her silently, before replying, his voice raising.

“My fiance…my fiance ! Yes you are…and my wife !” She saw the storm coming but she couldn’t have prevented it. Dan Tae stands up abruptly, knocking over the table, alongside what was resting on it. He rushes to her, towering over her.

“My wife in practice, if not yet by law, so you will honor me” After overcoming the shock, Su-Ryeon maintains his gaze brazenly. Dan Tae keeps on.

“You will honor me the way a wife honors her husband. Because I won’t let anyone make a fool out of me, ever…is this any way unclear” Su-Ryeon clenches her fist.

“No” is her only answer. He probably noticed her answer wasn’t genuine but even if he did, he discarded it.

“Good…excuse me” he says, standing up and leaving her behind.

Su-Ryeon kneels on the floor, reaching for the mess he left after storming out. As she takes hold of a tea-cup’s shard she cuts herself. Wincing, she released it on the ground.

“Even if I end up “honoring” you on paper…you will never gain the way to my heart. And if there was a last remaining bit of respect left for you, it broke into splinters along with the tableware you sent flying just now…you can dream on, Joo Dan Tae…I will only go along on the surface” she thinks, squeezing her injured finger, the rage penting up in her chest numbing the pain instantly. Yoonhee rushed to her.

“Mi…Su-Ryeon-unni, are you alright ?”

“I am sorry…we had a little incident…let me help you” Su-Ryeon answers. Yoonhee takes her hand.

“Su-Ryeon-unni…it’s all right, let me do it and we will treat your finger, you’re bleeding, hold it until I’m finished” Su-Ryeon nods.

After applying a plaster on her finger, both are chatting as Yoonhee is tying her corset. Su-Ryeon is feeling tense, she figures she could feel better talking about light-hearted topics.

“Yoonhee-ah…”

“Yes ?”

“Is that going fine with Logan’s friend ?” Yoonhee flinches.

“I…” Su-Ryeon looks over her shoulder.

“Yoonhee…there is only the two of us here, I am asking as a friend”

“He is an amazing person…I only know him for a few days, but it’s as if we knew each other forever…” Su-Ryeon laughs, but with a hint of bitterness, it looks familiar. She smiles, taking a cheerful voice.

“Really ? it’s great…I hope you two can stay in contact once we arrives” she feels tears welling up in her eyes.

She already knows that she cannot run away from her fate. At least she had a nice dream while she was here. Yoonhee stops and puts her hand on her shoulder.

“Su-Ryeon-unni…you are in love with Logan, right ?” Su-Ryeon flinches.

“Yoonhee…” her voice breaks mid-sentence. Her friend makes her turn around and hug her, patting her back.

“It will be okay…it will be okay…you will be okay” she says to soothe her. Su-Ryeon breaks into tears in her friend’s arms.

“I think I do…but it’s no use…we cannot be together anyway” Yoonhee doesn’t answer anything, she just keeps on patting her back. Su-Ryeon closed her eyes. She let out a light laugh, sniffing as delicately as possible.

“Yoonhee…you smell just like cotton candy…no wonder your nickname is cutie-pie” Yoonhee also laughs.

“Oh really ? Who called me that ?”

“Yoonchul did…I heard him chatting with Logan yesterday”

“Su-Ryeon-unni…you won’t believe how you were nicknamed then…I heard Jun Ki calling you the “first class goddess”” both women laugh.

“These nicknames are very strange” They hear footsteps getting closer. Both break away and Su-Ryeon turns around. If Su-Ryeon is gracious lavender and Yoonhee sweet cotton candy, the closest term to define Ok-Gyo’s scent is withered roses. She approaches, a stern look on her face and both young women tense up immediately.

“Tea, Yoonhee,” she says in a firm voice. Yoonhee cross eyes with her friend one last time and leaves the room.

Su-Ryeon turns around as her aunt starts to tie her corset again, with blunt gestures, tying the laces very tight. Su-Ryeon feels immediately smothered, both by the apparel and her aunt’s mere presence.

“You’re not to see that boy again, you understand ?” Su-Ryeon keeps silent. Agreeing to this out loud is out of her strength.

“Su-Ryeon ! I forbid it” Su-Ryeon rolls her eyes and turns around.

“Stop it my aunt, you’ll get yourself a nosebleed” her aunt grabs her by the shoulders.

“This is not a game…our situation is precarious, you know the money is gone”

“Of course I know, you remind me everyday”

“Why didn’t you sell off your daughter for marriage instead though ?” thinks Su-Ryeon with bitterness. She has a younger cousin, Seo Jin, whom her aunt absolutely adores. Of course she wouldn’t marry her off that easily. Seo Jin wants to study classical music. She is at a boarding school in America already. Su-Ryeon and Seo Jin were always at odds with each other. For a totally unknown reason to her, her cousin seems to despise her to the core. Su-Ryeon always felt lonely and rejected in that family.

“Your uncle left us with nothing but a legacy of bad debts hidden by a good name, your own inheritance is locked until you attain your majority…we took you in when your parents died…yet they left us with nothing…so, that good name is the only card we have to play…

I don’t understand you, it is a fine match with Joo's son, it will ensure our survival.”

“How can you put it all on me ?” aks Su-Ryeon

“Why are you being so selfish ?”

“I am the one being selfish ??” asks Su-Ryeon, bitter.

“Do you want to see your aging aunt work as a seamstress ? Do you want your young cousin to be forced to drop her studies, thus ruining her bright future ? Do you want to see our fine things sold at auction ? after I raised you with such great care and love ?” her aunt turns around, breaking into tears. Su-Ryeon observes her silently, feeling indignation penting in her chest.

“It’s so unfair” she says, more for herself than anything else.

“Of course it’s unfair…we're women…our choices are never easy,” Ok-Gyo says, reaching to kiss her on the cheek.

“I didn’t even get to make my own choices though…so what choices exactly ? I am only a mere puppet” Su-Ryeon thinks, closing her eyes.

 

Logan climbs out the grand staircase leading to the first class dining room. The sound of “Eternal Father” that the attendees are singing in the dining room can be heard in the distance. He greets Thomas Andrews on the way in a cheerful tone. Thomas answers him with a smile. Logan was full of determination when he came here, but seeing the two waiters guarding the doors, he understands he won’t be able to enter easily.

One of the waiters placed his hand on his shoulder to stop him. “I need to talk to someone,” he says.

“Sir, you’re not supposed to be here, please go back” Logan protests.

“I was here last night…don’t you remember ?”

“I am afraid I don’t…please go back” Logan tries to pass again but to no avail. At this moment the door opens and Mr. Jo appears.

“He will tell you…I just need to talk,” explains Logan, pointing at Dan Tae’s secretary.

“Mr Joo and Mme Cheon are still appreciative of your assistance…they asked me to give you this in gratitude…” Logan glances down at the bill that Mr. Joo is holding to him, feeling his frustration slowly morphing into pent-up anger. He slaps away the bill from Mr. Jo’s hand, his eyes shooting darts.

“I don’t want your stupid money, I just need to talk to Su-Ryeon-ssi, right now” Mr. Jo looks down at his hand, his glance remaining impassive.

“and also to remind you that you are a third class passenger and that your presence here is no longer appropriate”

“Let me speak to Su-Ryeon,'' asks Logan, but Mr. Jo ignores him.

“Gentlemen…please see that Mr. Lee returns to where he belongs and that he stays there…here is some more in addition to the ones laying on the floor if you fulfill my request” says Mr. Jo, getting out more bills and giving it to the 2 waiters. Logan looks at them with a mix of pity and disdain when he witnesses the two men picking the scattered bills on the floor. They drag him out of the room after doing so.

“I can go myself…” he says, breaking free from their grasp when they are almost at the staircase.

 

---

Author’s notes :

-In cannon, Jack and Rose sing “Josephine, the flying machine….but I wanted to use “Heartbeat” (Strong Woman Do Bong Soon) as it captured the heart-fluttering chemistry between the two in my opinion…

- For Su-Ryeon’s kiss monologue : Morpheus, Phantasus and Ikelos…they were the Oneiroi brothers. They were Hypnos (god of sleep) children. I could have used Hypnos here to “put her to sleep” but using the three brothers as a chain of events fitted better. Morpheus was the god of good dreams and took human form. He appeared in king's dreams. Phantasus was god of the unreal. He was responsible for showing meaningful but deceiving dreams. The word “fantasy” is derived from that god. Ikelos was the god of nightmares.

Su-Ryeon has been dreaming, fantasizing even of having Logan since day one and fear it is only a mere illusion who will end up in a tragedy…