19 years old.

Early morning classes shouldn’t be allowed. That was Minjeong’s thoughts every Tuesday and Thursday. Why would anyone want to know anything about chemistry at 7 am? It was just crazy. And her professor for this class was even crazier! He didn’t tolerate anyone getting there late, ever. Even when you had to stay up until really late the night before because you were finishing an essay for this exact same class.

Which was her case right now. She woke up late and she didn’t even have time to take her morning coffee, the only thing that keeps her from completely zoning out from class. She just didn’t have time for it or to think about how she looked hideous and her clothes were probably on the inside out. So after running through all the campus, crashing against three people and tripping at least five times she got to class with two minutes to spare.

Breathless, she got on her sit. Damn, she never thought she had to be in shape to get a major. College was kicking her .

“Rough morning, Winter?” Her classmate, Hyejoo, asked. And yeah, people called her Winter now. It’s a nickname that stuck after she turned down a senior that thought she would be an easy prey just because she was a freshman and one of the very few women interested in civil engineering. The guy gave her the lamest pick-up line ever and he expected her to fall heads over heels for him? Please, even if she liked men, she wouldn’t fall for that and when she told him that he said she had a heart made of ice, hence Winter. She kinda liked the nickname though, it made her seem tough.

“Yeah, I slept really late last night, please try to keep me awake”

-

When her class was finished, Minjeong thought about making a run to the university’s cafeteria. She needed her caffeine to stay alive for the next classes. But before she could start running, she saw someone waiting for her outside of the class.

And she had a cup of coffee in her hand.

“You brought me coffee? Your classes are on the other side of the campus!” She said to the girl now in front of her.

The girl smiled giving her the cup. She had a pretty smile, Minjeong liked it.

“Of course I did, I saw you rushing out of the room without your daily cup of coffee, I knew you’d need it” Chaewon, her roommate, said. Minjeong really got lucky with her. They were only living together for a few months and she didn’t even have one complain about the girl. She had an easy-going personality, didn’t mess up the room and she was super considerate with her. Chaewon coming all the way to give Minjeong a cup of coffee proved that.

For the past few weeks, her roommate had been taking care of her too well, she was getting too used to it. Chaewon’s love language was taking care of the ones she liked, Minjeong figured. This little fact kind of made her swoon. Chaewon was just so nice.

The girl was also very hot. And Minjeong was so gay.

“Minjeong? Did you hear what I said?”

“Oh, sorry! I got distracted by this amazing coffee” She had to make up an excuse, right? She couldn’t say she was thinking about Chaewon being hot and she being too gay. “What did you say?”

“I asked if you wanted to go on that new Italian restaurant we talked about last week?” She did remember talking about the new Italian restaurant that opened a few blocks from their dorm, but she also mentioned that mostly couples go there because it had a romantic vibe. Was her roommate asking her on a date?

She couldn’t say no, could she? If Chaewon asked her on a platonic date there was no reason for her to not go and, if it was not platonic, the girl was too hot and she hadn’t been with anyone since Heejin.

“Hum, sure! We can go this weekend if you’re free!”

 -

“You couldn’t say no? Oh my god, for an engineering student you’re so stupid. Is not getting laid making you go dumb?” Yizhou gave her several punches on her arm. Ouch.

“Hey! Stop hitting me! Why is it so bad?”

“She’s your freaking roommate!” Duh, Minjeong knew that, but she was not getting why it would be so bad if she dated Chaewon. “If you two start dating for real, you’re gonna be living with your girlfriend, have you thought of that?”

“So?”

“Well, Winter, that means you’re going be practically married so yeah, that will work out for two college freshmen” Ugh, why did her friend have to be so dramatic? She hadn’t even gone to a date with Chaewon yet, she was sure they’d work things out.

-

A notification.

@yujimins liked your photo

Another notification.

@yujimins commented on your photo: wow you’re pretty!

A sigh escaped her lips. She was getting ready to go to the Italian restaurant with her roommate and when she looked at herself on the mirror, she thought she was cute so a selfie was taken and posted on Instagram. Of course Jimin would give it a like, of course her childhood friend would comment it too. And of freaking course the comment she would leave would be the first thing Minjeong ever said to her when they met as kids. This was so Jimin. That was what she had been doing since Minjeong followed her back a year ago.

They didn’t talk, not really. If you consider talk the constant compliments Jimin gave her under all and every photo she posted on Instagram, they did talk. But other than that, not really.

After the day Minjeong followed her childhood friend back, that was all the interactions they had. Likes and comments on Instagram. Well, that was one day a couple months ago that Minjeong was drunk and going through people’s insta stories after coming back from a party and she accidently replied one of Jimin stories with that clapping hand emoji. She freaked out a little, the story she replied to was just a boomerang of Jimin showing her study table and saying she was tired. Why would she clap for that? Would Jimin think Minjeong was celebrating her misery? She was about to apologize when the other girl liked her reply and sent a simple winking emoji back.

What did that mean? Minjeong didn’t know. She was just glad Jimin apparently didn’t take offense on her clapping emoji. Jimin was probably too busy to even care about what people reply to her social media. The girl was in a university in the US and, for what Minjeong could see through the things she posted (yes, she didn’t miss anything, what about it?), she was very busy. Classes all day, extra-curricular activities, she even did volunteer work on an animal shelter! So yeah, she probably was too busy to care or to even remember her childhood friend.

Minjeong never really posted any stories. She wondered if she did it one day Jimin would reply to it. But she had gotten to the conclusion that no. Jimin had always been brave. If she wanted to talk with Minjeong she would have already done it already without needing an excuse to do it.

But she didn’t and she was the one who ghosted the younger girl on the first place. Minjeong didn’t ask her to disappear, she had always wanted Jimin close, maybe even a little too close, but that was not the point. The point is: If Jimin wanted to be more than social media buddies (She followed Minjeong on twitter too), she would have said something already.

“Oh my god, you look lovely on the selfie you posted!”

Her roommate was right in front of her. She was so deep on her thoughts about Jimin she hadn’t even noticed Chaewon was back in their room staring at her with adoring eyes.

This always happened. Going so deep into questioning every little interaction she had with Jimin and thinking about how they could talk again that she felt herself getting lost in her own thoughts and forgetting what was around her. It happened a lot when she was with Heejin, but she wasn’t going to let it happen with Chaewon. This thing with her roommate could actually be something. She felt that and she knew Chaewon felt it too. She wasn’t going to let Jimin be in the way.

It was time for her to move on.

“Thank you! I got dressed up to impress my date.” She said smiling and taking the other girl’s hand e kissing it. “Do you think she will like it?”

“I think your date will love it"

She felt herself being pulled gently on the other girl’s body, almost as if her roommate was afraid of hurting her. They stared at each other’s eyes and waited, both confirming that yes, that was what they wanted. Then, they kissed. So soft, slow and sweet, like Minjeong imagined first kisses should be when she was younger. It didn’t last much, but they both knew they had plenty of time for that.

~~

20 years old.

She was studying on her bed when she heard someone opening the door of her room. It could only be one person.

“Hey honey, I think I already told you, but I’m going on that trip with my friends this weekend, ok?” Her girlfriend and roommate looked at her with a smile on her face, as if everything was fine. But it wasn’t fine and it definitely wasn’t ok with Minjeong for her girlfriend to go away with her friends on the only weekend they had time to be with each other.

But she couldn’t say it.

“Yeah, sure, have fun.” She gave Chaewon probably the tenth fake smile that week. She was getting pretty good at faking them for the sake of their relationship.

She wasn’t unhappy. They had been together for almost a year and she loved their relationship. But for the past few weeks she was getting more and more frustrated and she couldn’t say anything because she didn’t want to fight.

Her frustration started with the most mundane things.

Like her girlfriend forgetting to go grocery shopping and then, when they had no more food on the fridge, buying take out only for herself. Like, after almost a year, her girlfriend suddenly started being jealous of Yizhou out of nowhere, even when she knew Yizhou was nothing more than Minjeong’s best friend since before the beginning of their relationship. Like her girlfriend not liking all the date ideas she had for them, which always ended up with Minjeong doing what the other girl wanted. Like now, her girlfriend planning to go on a trip and not even asking if she would like to go too.

A part of her wanted to say something, but Chaewon cried every time they fought, even if it was a small argument, so Minjeong always tried to maintain the peace at their room.

“Thanks, honey” Chaewon walked over her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. At least she never stopped being sweet. “My bag is already in my friend’s car, I just came by to tell you, bye!” She gave Minjeong another kiss, on the lips this time and then stormed out of the room.

Minjeong sighed, another weekend with books and Netflix as her company. She could ask if Yizhou was free, but her friend was extremely busy these days. Courtesy of her growing popularity in and out of campus. Yizhou was a total hit as a fashion design student and as a party girl. She was sure her friend was getting ready to go to a party right now, but she wanted something a little more chill, plus Chaewon wouldn’t like to know she went to a party with Yizhou.

But apparently someone heard her wishes.

She got a text.

Hyejoo:

-

“Come on, another shot!”

It was just a suspicion, but she had a feeling Hyejoo was trying to get her drunk. They had been there for only 20 minutes and the said girl had already made her drink three shots of tequila. She was pretty sure a fourth was on its way.

“Did you only invite me here to get me drunk?”

“Obviously, drunk Winter is much more fun than sober Winter” Hyejoo said with a wink. They were on a table in the middle of a bar close to their dorms. Since it was Friday, it was packed with college students, but Minjeong liked it. It had been a while since she went out to a bar. “I’m surprised you accepted to come, though. I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve seen you out”

“Yeah well, Chaewon doesn’t really like bars or parties so we usually just stay in our room or go to watch a movie” Minjeong tried to make her girlfriend go to a bar with her a bunch of times, promising neither of them had to drink, just meeting friends in a fun and more relaxed environment it would be enough for Minjeong, but Chaewon always refused.

“Pffff, boring! You’re 20 and you and your girlfriend live like a couple in their 50s” They both laughed at that, but the comment left a bitter taste in Minjeong’s mouth. “How did she let you out of the room anyway? Did you have to promise to do something kink later?”

Oh, she wished. She couldn’t even remember the last time they did something fun in beds. Both of them had been to tired to think in anything but to sleep these past few weeks. Well, at least Minjeong was too tired to do anything, Chaewon always seemed to have time to go out with her friends lately.

“No, she went on a trip with her friends, actually”

Hyejoo frowned at that.

“That Minju girl included?” Minjeong nodded. “And you’re fine with it? Girl, you’re like… I don’t know, super evolved dealing with your relationship” Her friend called the bartender asking for more shots, not realizing Minjeong was starting to internally freak out. Minju was one of Chaewon closest friends, why would she not be fine with them going on a trip together?

“W-what?”

“I mean, you know that before you and Chaewon started dating Minju actually confessed to her, right?” No, Minjeong definitely di