June 2012

Both Hyukjae and I arrived at college earlier than the usual. As always, Hyukjae and I separated in the lecture hall and we sat with our own friends. I took my seat next to Sunny and Jessica and Hyukjae sat at the back with his friends, Shindong, Ryeowook, Sungmin and Kyuhyun.

We started talking like always, when a few minutes after that our lecturer walks into the lecture hall. Something is different today, she’s not alone. She’s with another girl, maybe a new student. The girl looks nice with a sweet smile on her pretty face. She saw me and she nodded, acknowledging that she saw me and I did the same to her.

“Attention! We have a new classmate here. I hope you will treat her well since she’s just transferred to this university,” the lecturer, Ms Choi said. She later instructed the girl to introduce herself.

“Hi, everyone. My name is Kim Hyoyeon. I got transferred here from my previous university. Hope everyone can be friends with me,” she said before she bowed at us.

She was asked to find a seat then. I was about to ask her to sit next to me since there’s no one sitting there but she ignored me and walked to the back and sat near Hyukjae and his friends. I glanced at Hyukjae and I noticed that he’s not looking all happy like he was just now. I saw Hyoyeon looking at Hyukjae with an indescribable meaning and I can see how uncomfortable Hyukjae was when he looked back at Hyoyeon.

Hyukjae quickly shifted his gaze and looked into my direction. I gave him a smile, and he smiled back at me. However, there’s something different with his smile. I can’t see his sincere smile that he usually gave at me. What is it? What is actually happening here?

- - - - - - - - - - -

The class ended and I quickly walked out from the lecture hall. Jessica has already went back home while Sunny was waiting for Sungmin beside me.

“That new girl seems to have her eyes on Hyukjae,” Sunny said out of sudden. I turned to face her and raised my eyebrows.

“Look, she kept on staring at Hyukjae and look at how uncomfortable Hyukjae is,” Sunny said as she pointed at my boyfriend sitting at the back through the window.

I felt uneasy. Is there something between them? I don’t think they know each other. Hyukjae won’t be reacting like that if he knows her. I shrugged off all the bad thoughts that suddenly came into my mind. Maybe he just don’t like it when other girls are trying to get close to him? But he never acted like that to my friends. Sigh.  

Sungmin came out not so long after that and he quickly walked towards me.

“You better save Hyukjae now. That new girl is kind of scary. She kept on staring at him as if she wanted to eat him up,” Sungmin said.

I let out a laugh, not knowing what should I say to him. I nodded at him and quickly walked back into the lecture hall and to Hyukjae’s place.

“Are you done?” I asked him. I can see Hyoyeon looking at me as if she’s unsatisfied with me but I ignored her stare.

He just nodded and quickly stood up. Both of us bid goodbye to his friends and walked to the front gate together. I suddenly stopped and turned to look at him. He looked depressed, he looked different.

He ignored me when he saw me stopped. He just kept on walking past me and when I tried to call him, he didn’t stop at all. What is wrong? What is happening now? I ran after him and I hugged him tightly from the behind. He stopped suddenly and we stayed like that.

“Hyuk, what’s wrong? Tell me,”

“N-n-nothing. Leave me alone for a moment, Fany. Sorry, I can’t walk you home today. Take care,” he said as he broke the hug and walked away from me.

He’s not leaving me. He never left me walking home alone. This isn’t happening. He was fine in the morning, and when that girl came, he changed. I’ve never saw him acting like this, this is just completely a different guy.

- - - - - - - - - - -

I lost my way, I didn’t know where I was heading to now. I kept on thinking of why he changed in a split second. He was just fine when we came to lecture, and now he’s a complete different guy. He never ever acted this way before, and when the new girl came, he changed this drastically.

I really don’t know what should I do. I kept on walking and without me realizing it, I am already in front of his apartment building. I don’t know how I managed to walk here because the last time I remembered, I was already near to my apartment, which is on the other side of the town. 

I walked towards the apartment building. I almost passed by a secluded alley when I suddenly heard a familiar voice. I quickly hid myself behind the wall, trying to hide myself away from that person.

It’s Hyukjae and he’s not alone. Surprisingly, he’s with another girl. And much more surprisingly is the girl, she’s someone I just met. It’s Hyoyeon. I didn’t know what should come into my mind at that moment, but I could feel as if my heart was broken into pieces.

I can’t hear what they’re saying, they’re whispering to each other. I could see how angry Hyukjae’s expression was and I could see Hyoyeon crying, begging and holding him from walking away. I’ve never saw Hyukjae in this kind of situation, he never gets this angry.

He tried to pull his hand but Hyoyeon quickly hugged him. What happened next is not what I ever thought will happen. His expression soften and he faced her. My heart dropped when I realized that both of them were kissing each other. She was the one taking control but it seems that Hyukjae is not fighting back. He’s letting her taking control of him.

I can’t stand that anymore. It came to me that maybe Hyoyeon was the girl, his first love. What I feared the most seems to be happening right now. I thought nothing will come between us but this happens now. As much as I love this relationship, as much as I love him, I can’t act like nothing happened when I saw almost everything.

I dragged my feet back to my apartment. I thought that maybe I can talk to Hyukjae since I’m already near his apartment but this happened. I don’t know what I should really do right now. Should I tell him that I saw him kissing Hyoyeon? Or should I let him go?

I don’t know what’s the best way for this. I can’t accept the fact that he actually kissed her back. I can’t accept the fact that he did all that when he told me he loves me so much. I feel like giving up, I don’t feel like there’s anything else that I can give in this relationship. Not when all my trust is gone.

Will I be able to mend this heart? It hurts so much. He’s my first love, and I’ve experienced the ups and the downs with him, but this, I don’t think staying is a good idea. The way he reacted to her kiss, I know that deep inside his heart, he still loves her. Maybe it’s just the time for me to leave so that they can get back together. Maybe this is what I have to sacrifice to make him happy.

Truth is, I don’t want to let him go. 

Hello, here's the update. Well, wait up for the next update. It shall be there soon, and I don't know when is soon. It depends on my time, since I've been much more busier than ever now. I have exams coming up and gah, I wonder why I took this course T___T 

Hope you enjoy and comment to this. I wish to see what you guys have to say about this story. Thank you and have a nice day ahead, wherever you are, dearest subscribers and readers ♥