"since when have you liked me?"

the whole sooyoung's body is in panic. how did she know? how long did she know? is she angry? what should sooyoung do? what on earth does she do?

she can't exactly run away while they are literally laying beside each other on the couch. does she turn it into a joke, reject the possibility of it even happening before she gets an opportunity to get rejected by joohyun herself? does she let it happen? does she try even when the chances are against her favor? what kind of fool would do that?

park sooyoung, apparently.

"unnie, i think i might be in love with you." sooyoung says.

joohyun stays quiet for a moment - then, "might be?"

"am." she corrects herself. "i am in love with you."

and it's not to say that joohyun didn't notice before, until the very moment on the couch. quite contrary actually, she's always known that sooyoung has looked at her a little bit differently than her other members of the group. while she was scared at first with her own coming out and all, sooyoung had showed that she's more than willing to make up for that fear by all the questions and conversations she started after than big event.

and it was awkward, at least at first. because sooyoung was still practically a child. so was joohyun but she was an older child, she had to know what she was doing better than sooyoung knew. sooyoung was following joohyun like a lost puppy so much so that staff members have nicknamed her that - joohyun's puppy. joohyun couldn't exactly say anything, it was all in good fun and they didn't really know her uality back then. it would've been way too suspicious so she kept shut.

but the thought had already entered her mind. what should she do if sooyoung had decided to confess one day?

it was years later when sooyoung had actually come out to her that she remembered again, that nickname and that particular behavior towards her. and sooyoung has grown since then. their company had actually let her branch out, she met incredible people - just exactly the right ones she needed in her life that taught her all the right lessons and talked about all the right things. it's not to say that she, herself, hasn't grown since her debut.

she was a baby. now when she looks back at the past footage she cringes at how shy and unconfident she was. she's not like that now - she hopes - she can actually hold a conversation without turning into a red tomato, she can recite the script without stuttering the whole way and without losing the train of thought or forgetting words and how to express things. she's grown more comfortable in her skin.

just like sooyoung did.

sooyoung surprised her; going into her room, acting like it was her own, her bold moves without any fear, and her long legs around joohyun. when did sooyoung change so much and how did she miss it? she prides herself in noticing every single thing that's going on in her members' lives, so why did she not see this change in sooyoung before it had happened? she was mad at herself for it and the worst is - she didn't exactly mind being trapped underneath sooyoung like that.

it was wrong. she shouldn't have been like that to their sooyoung, a member, a friend. she tried to write it off as just her being playful as much as she wanted sooyoung to just stretch out her legs and get comfortable in her bed, her dark room, she knew something had to be done.

so she just suggested they go eat.

a long time ago she read a book and since then she found the act of eating together to be an act of love. you see the person you care about fill their stomach, you know they're taken care of and not going hungry for one reason or another. you know they are healthy for now, you know they are eating well and warm food is in their stomach. how is it not love? to care for a person like that and have them see you the same as a reflective mirror.

so every time joohyun called sooyoung to eat it was a proclamation of love.

"i love you, too."

"-but please understand."

of course, joohyun didn't know if what sooyoung felt towards her was love but surely she loved her as a lifelong friend that they'll become in the future like joohyun loved her as. she had no doubt in her mind that she's never letting go of park sooyoung for the rest of her life.

but just to make sure...

it's just when sooyoung is out on a schedule that joohyun gets an opportunity to ask other members if her initiative guess is right. of course she doesn't outright ask it but a vague hint is enough for them to catch on, much to her own dismay.

"have you noticed anything strange with park sooyoung?"

"maybe she's more tired than usual." seungwan shrugs, nudging seulgi with her elbow.

"huh, what's wrong with sooyoung?"

"what isn't wrong with her?" yerim laughs, beside them, lounging around, reading a book.

"she's been acting kind of strange lately or is it just me?" joohyun asks.

"you mean all the staring?" yerim asks.

"no, she's been doing that before too-" yerim snorts, making a 'yikes' face.

"unnie, i'm going to say this a nicely as possible - you can't expect for five gay women to live together and it to remain drama-free."

"five? excuse me, five?" seungwan interrupts.

"i haven't come out!" seulgi frowns.

"yet." yerim grins devilishly.

"i don't get it." joohyun sighs, runs her hand through her hair out of frustration.

all this talk got her confused, she just wanted to confirm sooyoung's feelings through subtle digging of information from her fellow members but instead got them arguing.

"unnie, don't you really?" seungwan squints as the other two fight in the background.

"park sooyoung isn't in love with me." joohyun denies the truth.

"isn't she? i'm not saying she is but isn't she, unnie?" seungwan stands up and pats her on the shoulders. "i'm sure you noticed before."

"it was cute." joohyun blushes.

"and now?" seungwan raises her eyebrows.

joohyun's blush just deepens as she doesn't say a thing.

with sooyoung's behavior worsening, it's becoming a problem. all the flirting, all the touching; joohyun is beginning to lean into it, she's starting to initiate it. if she sees sooyoung be herself, she comes over, links their arms together, takes her hand. hand holding - that's becoming a constant too. something happened that night when sooyoung took her by the hand. it's like a dam broke and they can'