The whole graduation ceremony made her teared up, she’s so proud seeing Maha and Hyunji in their graduation robe, looking all happy. After taking so many photos and have a chit chat with her friends and her juniors, she was about to escape and went home but a soft hand caught her wrist. Lee Hyun dragged her, and she’s a little bit relieved because everyone else just too busy to notice them. He took them to a quiet spot with no one around. When they arrived, Lia break free from his hand.

“What is it? I thought we’re done.” asked Lia immediately.

Hyun looked her in the eyes. Lia noticed it is his habit to look at the person he’s talking to directly in the eyes as if they are the only ones that exist. “I just want to tell you how sorry I am. I know it’s important to both of us and I messed it up, and I feel so guilty for making you have to graduate later. Believe me these days I didn’t sleep well because of the guilt and I can’t meet or reach you when you’re usually one call away.”

Lia was surprised hearing that, but before she could speak, he continued. “I am a jerk, I know, but I had fun with you those months we prepare for the performance. So if you need anything, or if you need me to do anything you want, just tell me. I’ll do it. I’ll come down to Busan if you call me. Anything to make you forgive me,”

Lia took a deep breath. It was her first time hearing him talking this serious and this long. He usually the one who listened to her nonsense, and all they talked about was about music and small part of their lives. If she’s like other girls who fancy him, she would give in and forgive him immediately because his words are sweet and his gaze was kind. But she’s Yoo Lia. It’s not easy for her to forgive others, and even if she eventually forgive, she doesn’t forget. She knew it’s not entirely Hyun’s fault for coming late because his audition went not as promised, but she still held him responsible.

“I cannot just forgive you,” she took a deep breath again. “I need to retake the class. I am too ashamed to face my friends and my juniors. I know you’re responsible for being late but I am frustrated because I need to bear the consequences of the action I didn’t do.”

He knew every words she said is true. He can’t retake the class for her next semester even if he really wanted to. She needs to be present at class and postponing her plans.

“Did you make it? The audition?” asked her.

He was surprised. He thought she wouldn’t mention the band at all. He shook his head. He didn’t make it to the band. After coming late and failed the final performance he didn’t even think about the band, and his friend Taeyang is the one who told him about the result. He didn’t even question why he didn’t make it because he knew he didn’t present the best.

“You didn’t make it?” Lia was surprised. “After all the trouble you made, you didn’t make it to the band? I thought it would be easier for me to forgive you if you at least get accepted, but you failed both.”

Lia can’t help but being so angry. She thought he’d make it so she can slowly forgive him because he achieved one of his life goals. But he didn’t. She was so emotional and ended up crying in front of him.

“I thought if you make it to the band, I will be slowly at peace because it felt like I sacrifice for you to achieve your dream. I am frustrated because I know it’s not your fault for not getting accepted, but I just want to blame you.”

He was heartbroken again seeing her crying. He really wanted to hug her and let her punch him with all her might as long as he’s in his arms. Instead, he said, “Just hate me. Blame me. But let me see you or at least let me know if you’re doing okay or need anything. I’m just so sorry,”

She wiped her tears and cleared . “Even if I forgive you, I won’t forget. And I don’t think I can contact you for a while.” she started to walk away.

“Lia! Wait!” he ran after her. She turned around, her face was swollen but her gaze is like her usual self. He suddenly can’t say anything else, so she turned around again, leaving him alone.

---

After she arrived at the train station, she checked her phone and just realized Dojin has been calling her. After calling him back and told him she’ll be going home, he wished her a safe trip home and told her he will save a seat for her next semester. She laughed and thanked him, then hop to the train.

She kept thinking about her conversation with Hyun earlier, how his eyes looked so sincere and sorry. Her mom had told her to just forgive and enjoy her break so her mind will be clear, but she just can’t. When she’s about to shut her eye for a quick nap, her phone rang. It was Mrs. Choi. She cleared before answering. “Hello?”

“Yoo Lia! I heard you went to Seoul today. It’s a pity we didn’t meet. I miss you, my girl,” said Mrs. Choi cheerfully.

Lia automatically smiled, she loved it whenever Mrs. Choi called her ‘my girl’. “I’m sorry Mrs. Choi, I need to go back to Busan this afternoon to help my parents, but I promise I’ll visit you when I come to Seoul again,”

“You promise, okay?” she said. “Did you meet with Hyun?” Mrs. Choi asked again with a careful voice.

Lia didn’t tell her about failing the class because of Hyun, but she was sure Hyun had told her and Mr. Ha. “Yy-yes, he apologized to me when we met earlier. But I don’t think I can forgive him easily, Mrs. Choi, I think I need more time.”

Mrs. Choi chuckled. “Of course, you can only forgive others when you’re willing to do so. Take all the time you need, my girl, but I personally think he deserves second chance, when you’re ready.”

“Yes, of course Mrs. Choi. I hope by being at home I can clear my mind faster.” she said with nervous laugh. But she agreed with Mrs. Choi, he deserves a second chance. The problem is, she doesn’t know when she will give him the second chance.

“I’m glad to hear that. Are you on your way? Be careful and enjoy your time there, Lia-ya. I’m sure your parents must be thrilled having you at home for the whole school break. We miss you so much, even my husband said the academy isn’t the same without yoou."

Lia teared up but quickly wipe her tears. Mrs. Choi’s words were source of comfort for her, and part of her thanked Lee Hyun for introducing her to someone so wonderful and kind. After promised to stay in touch, they ended the call. At that moment, she realized her mother’s words were true, the ones who truly supported her back then will always support her. Maha and Hyunji always engage her in every discussions or topics in their group chat even if it’s about something unrelated to her, Kim Dojin and his friends promised to accompany her next semester, Mrs. Choi and Mr. Ha with their support and always keeping her in touch, and of course her parents who wished nothing but her happiness.

She thought to herself all this time their supports for her is more than enough. But she always have ambitions to do more trying to impress the society when her closed ones simply wished for her happiness and her well-being. She regretted all the time she had filled with endless work, study, or volunteer activities made her not enjoying her youth. She should have went to several more places with her friends, or hanging out more with them. Now she felt like she’s a bad friend for always prioritizing herself but at the same time she’s thankful for Maha and Hyunji for always being there for her.

She also agreed with her mom that this is a sign the universe had notify her to finally rest and having all the time she has to take care of herself. She was amazed how one phone call with Mrs. Choi made her realized many things. For the first time in a while she was able to genuinely smile and be happy. She started to type a few plans in her phone, part of her habit, starting with cutting her hair shorter to celebrate a fresh start, harvesting oranges from their garden and send them to her friends and Mrs. Choi, scheduling workout sessions and small trips to the mountain or beach. She finally believed in the phrase slowly but sure, the one she didn’t familiar with before.