During Sixteen...

There's a segment for every members where we all pick questions and answer them. Out of all the questions that I picked, this question is the most unexpected one. Yet, as unexpected as it is, strangely I already knew what or rather who to answer.

Question: If you were a boy, which SIXTEEN member would you date?

I didn't even hesitated even a second to answer it. With an all smile while feeling happy about it, I answered straightforwardly.

"For me, Chaeyoungie!" then I giggled. I felt like I need to elaborate it more, so I did. 

"She's feminine, but... what is it? Even though she's a girl, she has some cool traits, and she's a little bit y"

Then, I repeated it once again. As if I was making myself clear to everyone even though nobody was doubting even a single bit.

"For me, Chaeyoungie! She's my style"

And yes, you really are. After answering, I just laughed it off but deep inside I was starting to have a dilemma. When everything I said finally sink in to me, I was a bit scared. Questions started to arise on my mind.

Am I too obvious? Will it make you uncomfortable? Did I sound weird?

But then again, I told myself that it's okay because I just answered them the truth. I just told them what I really feel about you.

And yes Chaeyoung, you were really my style.

During that one fan-sign event​​​​​​​​​​​​... 

There were tons of post-it posted on the board containing different questions from ONCE. We were asked to pick two of them. As all of the members were so engrossed on picking their questions, I was silently looking for it too from behind. As I kept roaming my eyes around, one question caught my attention. And I knew right then and there, I have to get it no matter what.

As we were already sitting and starting to answer the questions we picked one by one, nervousness started to creep in. I don't know how will I answer that question when I was just so sure to pick it minutes ago.

I was already asking myself, "Am I really gonna do this? In front of the members and our fans?", but then again I pulled all my courage and decided to do it.

Question: If all the members are man, who will you date?

I fully understand the question and even explained it to the members since they were quite confused. I knew I was starting to blush and maybe I was already too obvious so I decided to just held Nayeon unnie's arm for support.

"Ahh.. About this.. You may already know that I posted a video of Mina unnie on Instagram"

As soon as I mentioned your name, our fans started to cheer so loud. It added to the embarrassment that I'm feeling but I had to continue what I started.

For me, it was now or never.

"Honestly speaking, is she not very handsome?" I was so happy when our fans cheered like they were agreeing with me.

"Seriously.. Mina unnie takes only few selcas but they always turn out well"

At that moment, even if I know I'm dying inside, I still have to look at you. I want to see your face, that smile, and that priceless reaction. You were so cute and pretty when you're being shy from getting a compliment. So, I kept on going.

"Honestly, if I were a man I'd date all of them.. I like all of them"

Yes, I understood the question but still, I changed it to my own perspective.

"But Mina unnie is very charming, so..."

I couldn't continue anymore, I just ended uo clapping. I don't even know why I did that, is it for you because I hope you get what I'm saying or it's for myself because I got through it. 

I just bravely confessed my feelings for you. And seeing that gummy smile was worth it with all the embarrassment I had to endure. Plus the looks the other unnies were giving to me.

Showterview with Jessi, 2021...

We have our latest summer comeback, Alcohol-free, and we were doing our promotions. All the members were excited to guest on Showterview because we were all looking forward to meet her.

Everything was going smoothly, we were all having fun. The atmosphere was very good and Jessi made us all comfortable. Until that one segment where questions are being asked and we have to pick a certain member.

Question: The one you would like to date the most

Upon hearing the question, I was flustered again. But strangely, it was like an old feeling resurfacing. It's like the feeling I once felt during SIXTEEN era. That even if it's an unexpected question, my mind is already set for an answer.

But Nayeon unnie interrupted and clarified the question more. Suddenly, it leveled up.

"Is it seeing each other? Or just dating out?"

The other host clarified, "Dating with marriage in mind!"

It caused an uproar with all the members because they were right after all, just dating and marriage is a whole lot different. But then again, whatever it is, my answer remained the same.

"Hana, dul, set!"

And all of us started pointing to every member. At first, I didn't know who you were pointing at. Not until everyone pointed out that we picked each other.

"We just made a new couple" 

That one random comment made the two of us both shy and blushing. I couldn't even held my face up. It was just too much as I was not expecting that you'll choose me too. 

As I was watching the broadcast with you, we both laughed almost awkwardly when the comment says.. 

"Our secret relationship got busted" 

Then I thought to myself, are we really busted? 

... 

I was keeping myself calm amidst all the feelings and emotions I was feeling. I was controlling myself not to react too much and not to make it too obvious but then again, just like how it usually was, I failed. 

"She's blushing" Jeongyeon unnie blurted out and I almost shrunk on my seat. She just really had to say that, I know she's teasing me. 

"It's not what it seems!" I tried to defend myself and even stomped my feet. But in reality, it is what it seems. "It's because you're teasing me!" 

Everyone was having so much fun that they were all laughing loudly when I am almost dying. I couldn't even look at you. 

"We didn't know you would pick each other" Well surprise because me neither. 

"Why did you pick Mina?" 

I just know I heaved a sigh before I got so serious about answering it. 

"Mina unnie would make... a good wife and a wise mother" 

I explained it with sincerity, with all my heart. That's what you really are to me, I just know you'd make a good mother and wife. Honestly, whoever you'll end up with, they'll be lucky. 

I don't have to be sad about that but when the thought came, I just found myself sulking. 

Maybe because it was one of the most uncertain thing for me in this reality. 

... 

"What about you, Mina?" 

I was still recovering from your answer, I didn't know you thought of me on that certain level. It made my heart flutter. 

I almost lost all the thoughts I was already preparing to answer. Luckily, I brought back mu composure. 

"Ever since our debut, everytime I was asked this question, I always picked Chaeyoung.." That's right, Chaeyoungie, you should listen very well to every word I am about to say. 

"Apparently, she's beloved so much and very lovely" 

I just want you to know that you're always well appreciated by me, even if others won't. When you're being criticized for no apparent reason, I just wish they all could see you with my eyes.

I know you're thinking too much about this again but I hope you're somewhat assured with my answer. I hope I conveyed it well to you.

Because Chaeyoung, no matter how many years will pass or that passed by..

I will always.. choose you.

And Mina unnie, no matter uncertain this world, the future, and our reality is..

I, too, will always choose you.