* this color means they are speaking in English

* this color means they are speaking in Japanese

 

~CL POF~

 

   Great. Another new school to go to. this has been what? my sixth time changing high schools since freshmen year. I’m a junior now and i feel like i have been all of the world already. I lived in Korea until I was four, then I moved to America until I was fourteen, I lived in California, Massachusetts, and Florida, never staying in one place for too long. I then had to move to Japan, I lived in Okinawa, Nagoya, and Tokyo. I’m fluent in English and know a lot of Japanese, yet I don’t really know Korean all that well... weird right? I know enough to speak with other Koreans but sometimes I mess up and add a little English or Japanese! Not that I really care what people are gonna think of me in Seoul... I won’t know them for long anyways. I prefer it that way though. I like being alone... at least that is what I like to tell myself. As long as no one bothers me I’ll be fine, I’m usually not very noticeable anyway. Although I won’t lie, I do have a bit of an attitude and I HATE when people bully others, that is the one thing i cannot stand. Oh, and people who think they are “above” everyone else. I HATE THAT. Hopefully my life here in Korea won’t be too stressful.

 

   “Class, this is Lee Chaerin, she’s a new student here so please welcome her here.” my  new teacher Mr. Kim introduced me. The rest of the class looked completely uninterested in me, they just continued talking within their groups. It was a normal response. I was never good with first impressions, all people based me on were my looks and considering I was wearing clothes for comfort, no make up, and was plain looking, no one would want to be my friend, because to them I was a scrub. I’ve been to so many schools and the response is always the same. Even if its across the world, people will always only care about looks. I don’t get it, but that’s how it is, and that’s how it probably always will be, “Chae-rin, please take a seat anywhere you like.”

 

   I chose a seat in the front, away from anyone else and near the teacher. That’s where the least amount of drama happened. I opened my notebook and started taking the notes that were written on the board. School was my main focus right now. It was the only thing I could do to keep my father proud of me. My mother abandoned us when i was little for another man that she was pregnant with, and my father has been distant ever since. He consumes himself in work and barely ever comes home, he expects a lot from me and i can’t bear to let him down. He’s one of the only people who’s been with me all my life. He’s the only family I have...

 

- - -

 

   My second class was finally over and I couldn’t be happier, I was the first to leave the class, only to be stopped by a huge group of crazy looking girls.

 

   “OMIGOD OMIGOD they really are so HOOOOOOT!” a girl in front of me yelled. I tried pushing passed them and succeeded, I also found the reason why these girls were having a spaz attack. Everyone was staring at these random five guys who were simply walking to class. I had to admit, they were pretty attractive, no, very attractive, but nothing to go completely fan girl over. Maybe this was just how they did it in Korea? I sighed before I started walking to my next class, English... considering how my first two classes went, I really hoped this would go the same.

 

   “Class, this is Chaerin, ca-”

 

   “Yah! mister Johnson,” someone said in horrible English that i could barely understand, “Sorry I’m late... there was this really hot chi-”

 

   “Why are you speaking in Korean when you KNOW you should be speaking English right now?” Mr. Johnson asked sternly. Everyone started laughing.

 

   “Wha? Can you repeat that? You know I can’t speak English well.” The class started laughing even more now. I rolled my eyes, whoever this guy was, he was way too cocky. I turned to steal a glance at him and was surprised to see one of the guys that the girls were going crazy over earlier. He was even more better looking up close. He had blonde hair, smoother skin than me, and a better fashion sense. ‘He must REALLY care about his image...’ I thought to myself.

 

   “Jiyoung! Just go sit down. Can’t you see you’re being very rude to Chaerin?”

 

   “Who the hell is that?” The class was going crazy with laughter and I could just feel the blood rush to my face. ‘Calm down, Chaerin, he’s not worth it... he is NOT worth it!’

 

   “Just go sit down! Don’t think I’ll let you talk like this just because you’re a ‘teen idol’ idols need to learn too!” Idol? As in famous? Was that why everyone was going crazy for him outside?

 

   “Sorry Chaerin, just take a seat anywhere you’d like.” I nodded and took my seat up front like last time. I tried to focus on the teacher but it was a little hard when everyone was kissing that Jiyoung kid’s !

 

   “Psst! How is you’re first day!?” an overly excited girl grinned at me.

 

   “It’s... alright.”

 

   “How do you like the school so far!? I’m Gong Minji, but you can call me Minzy!” her eyes beamed as she spoke.

 

   “It’s fine.” I said dully. I just wanted this conversation to be over.

 

   “YAH! Your eyes are so pretty! They remind me of a cat!” I wasn’t really sure what she meant so I just nodded politely.

 

   “You don’t really talk much do you?” she giggled.

 

   “Um, no. Not really.”

 

   “Well thats okay! I have LOTS to talk about!” I just sighed, maybe she’d get tired of me if I just ignored her.

 

   Nope. Class ended and she was STILL talking to me about some random topic, I had already stopped paying attention to what she was saying.

 

   “So do you- Kyaa~!” suddenly she was pushed to the ground.

 

   I turned to see who it was, it was this really gorgeous girl making way for Ji-Young, “Ugh, losers like you really need to learn how to make way for the important people!” she sneered.

 

   I just stood there not really processing what had just happened, “S-sorry...” Minzy whispered, I quickly helped her up.

 

   Ji-Young just rolled his eyes, “You’re still as pathetic as ever, huh?” he smirked before walking away. Minzy looked like she was going to cry.

 

   Before I knew what I was doing I yelled, “HEY! AND TURN AROUND!...”

 

   Now everyone was staring. Ji-Young and I’m assuming his girlfriend turned around. Ji-Young looked pissed.

 

   “YAH! Don’t you know I hate when people talk to me in a language I don’t know!” Ji-Young yelled.

 

   “Really? And do you know that i absolutely DESPISE people who think they are above everyone else and treat them like !?” I yelled.

 

   Everyone looked surprised at how I was speaking to him, had this really never happened before? He seemed like a jerk most people would hate.

 

   “Who the hell do you think you are talking to my Oppa like that?” his girlfriend yelled.

 

   “I’m LEE CHAERIN! WHAT ABOUT IT?” I yelled.

 

   Minzy then grabbed my shoulder, “Chaerin, it’s okay I’m fine...”

 

   “Aren’t you mad? This really just pushed you and he called you pathetic!”

 

   Suddenly she was smiling, it looked a little evil “What’s fighting about it gonna do? Come on, i think you should meet the girls.” she started pulling me away towards the cafeteria, leaving everyone shocked.

 

   “Chaerin! This is Dara and Bom! My best friends!” Minzy beamed, “You guys, this is Chaerin!”

 

   Bom barely even glanced at me, she was to consumed in reading her book, “Yo.”

 

   “Nice to meet you Chaerin!” Dara smiled politely.

 

   “Hi.” it was weird, they were all very different from each other yet they fit in with each other very well. It sort of made me envious. But only for a second.

 

   “So, guys I’ve been thinking... and i... I want Chaerin to join our top secret club!”

 

   Bom finally looked up from her book, “What’d you just say? Yah! Minzy are you stupid!? You know we don’t let anyone join in! Jeez you are so dim-”

 

   “Bom. Calm down. Minzy, you should know that we are the only one...” I started tuning them out. Top secret club? Why would I want to join anything like that. Before they could notice, I quietly started walking away- SPLASH!

 

   “KYAA~ Chaerin! Are you okay!?” I heard Minzy yell.

   Milk was running down my face and onto my body. I looked to see who had done this to me.

 

   “Next time watch your mouth when you are around me.” Jiyoung snapped. He was with his group of friends and they all looked a little surprised. His girlfriend was laughing and laughing. All i could hear was her laughter. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

 

   “What? Got nothing to say? Heh, keep it that way.” He was about to turn around when I started walking up to him, I grabbed his collar and made him face me, and before anyone could do anything I punched him as hard as i could right on his left eye, “YAAAAH!” he yelled in pain.

 

   “Oppa! Oppa are you okay?”

 

   “Hyung!”

 

   “Jiyoung!”

 

   Everyone was rushing to his side while I just walked away, soaked in milk. Minzy, Bom, and Dara just looked at me as if they were impressed. we just stood there staring at each other for a moment, until the teachers all came to stop the commotion.

 

- - -

 

   “One week suspension!?” I yelled in shock.

 

   “Yes. All of the witnesses say you punched Jiyoung just because he accidentally spilled a little milk on you.” my principal answered.

 

   “A LITTLE!? Can’t you see I’m soaked!? This is bull!”

 

   “Excuse me? Your lucky I don’t add another week for your foul language!” he yelled.

 

   All i could think about was how my father was going to react.

 

   “Is my father going to come in?” I asked nervously.

 

   “No. I guess your lucky. He said he was too busy with work. But he also said he would discuss this with you at home, and also that he is very disappointed, as he should be.”

 

   Now I was really anxious. He’s never been disappointed in me before, I’ve never given him a reason to be... He’d understand right? I just did what I had to do. Either that or let people get bullied by a jerk who thinks way to highly of himself.

 

   “You may leave now.”

 

   I nodded and walked out of the room, only to see Jiyoung sitting outside with and ice pack up to his eye. When he saw me he gave me a blank stare, then smirked, “Have fun on your vacation.”

 

   I glared at him before I kept walking, “Just try what you did again and watch what’ll happen. I’ll never get in trouble, but you on the other hand... heh, I think you learned what will happen right?” I clenched my fist and kept walking, I knew if I said anything I’d probably lose it.

 

- - -

 

   “I heard you punched someone today. Right in the face.” my father said first thing when he got home.

 

   “F-father it’s not what you-”

 

   “I don’t want to hear another word from your mouth. Not from someone as immature an idiotic as you. I can’t even believe my own child would do something so STUPID. Only a rude, uneducated person would do something this damaging to their record! What great college is going to want a delinquent going around punching their other students!?” he said angrily. I knew better than to say something. I didn’t want to make matters worse by talking back to him. I didn’t like when he was mad at me, it made me feel powerless and even more alone than when he wasn’t mad.

 

   “Go to your room, I don’t even want to waste my time on you. I’m working overtime tonight so I’m just going to sleep at the office.” he said and walked away to his room. About fifteen minutes later I heard the door slam and I knew I was alone. Alone in this huge empty apartment.

 

   My heart was pounding like crazy. He was so disappointed in me, all I could do was repeat all that he said in my head. I never get in trouble and the first time I do something wrong he completely flips. I’m afraid to see what would happen if I ever did something wrong again, but I knew better than that. I had to be perfect... whatever that was... At least in his eyes. I want to be someone he can be proud of and acknowledge. Even though I know it’d probably never happen. As hard as I try I never make him truly happy, and today I just proved to him that I really am a disappointment.

 

   I took a deep breath, I couldn’t keep thinking like this, or else I’d go crazy. There was only one thing I could do, before I knew what I was doing I quickly went over to my closet and grabbed a CD that was hidden under my clothes. I then walked over to my living room, it was huge and spacious, you could pretty much do anything in there, even dance. I went straight the stereo and put in my CD. It was Lil Kim’s album, ‘La Bella Mafia’, one of my favorite rap albums. I chose a random song and just went with it. I knew all the lyrics to every song and every piece of choreography. When I rapped and did my thing I felt unstoppable, I felt like I could actually be me. I would imagine myself performing in front of huge crowds, everyone cheering my name with love. I’d be the girl no one would forget about or ignore... But I’d never be able to do that. My father would probably never want to look at me again.

 

   The one thing he absolutely hates in this world is pop, R&B, and hip pop. He says it puts the world to shame and that performers should be embarrassed of themselves for being so desperate to be famous that they’d sing anything or do anything to get it. That maybe what he say, but I know the REAL reason... It’s because of my mother. She was a passionate dancer and my father supported her throughout her career, which was mostly failure. But one day she was suddenly famous throughout Korea. The next day she abandoned us for a famous producer, the one that helped make her famous. I don’t remember her face and I can’t even remember her name, but I hate her. I hate her so much that sometimes I cry just thinking about her. I hate her and I hate myself for loving the same thing she loved, the same thing that my father hates.

 

(A/N- hope you liked it! Sorry if you didn’t, I tried really hard to make this good, but maybe it couldv’e been better... Oh and Chaerin and her dad speak english to each other when they are alone because he doesn't want her to forget it. He expects her to stay fluent so that one day she can go back to America and work in a successful company.)

 

DISCLAIMER: All products and character names are not owned by me