Kim Yongsun was just staring at Byulyi distractedly as the younger woman was watching the large monitor, wholly absorbed. She was wearing her gaming headphones and was clearly intrigued by whatever she was viewing, her lips parted slightly. Her face was bare, and she wore her round-rim spectacles that hide most of her eyebags. Yongsun lay against the door as she studied her partner closely. Byulyi looked awfully younger without that thick layers of makeup, just another young girl on the street. The large cotton blue pyjama top looked more filled in with all the strength training that she had. Then, the taller woman blinked several times, as if coming back to herself before she shifted in her seat to reach for the keyboard idly. She exhaled loudly, clearly still shaken by whatever she was watching. Her slim finger went to her lip and traced the outline of her pink bottom lip as a flash of contemplation appeared in her eyes. She tilted her head slightly, a crease appearing between her brow, as if she were trying to work out a puzzle in her head. Then, she relaxed in the comfortable white office chair as her gaze returned to the screen. She pressed the bridge of her spectacles up her face, mouthing words to herself before she moved towards the keyboard again and clicked a few keys absently.

Yongsun approached her from the side wearing a faint smile.

The rapper was so enchanted by whatever she was watching that she nearly leapt out of the chair in shock when she touched her on her elbow.

She threw her headphone off her head, her brown hair tousled wildly. “What? What are you doing here, Squishy?” She reached for the mouse, flustered, and minimised the window quickly as she hid the large screen behind her back. Then, she reached for her brown hair and smoothed it as she took a breath to calm herself down.

Yongsun looked at her, dumbfounded by her uncharacterised surprise.

“You were not in bed, Crinkles,” explained the older woman, looking suspiciously at her. “What are you watching?” She reached for the mouse, leaning into her space and expanded the window before the rapper could stop her.

Her brows knitted in confusion when she realised that she was watching the episode in which she had done the makeup for Henry and sang. The video was paused in the middle of the song they were singing together, ‘Snow flower’.

The rapper’s cheeks became crimson when she realised that she was caught watching videos of her.

“Why are you watching this now?” asked the older woman, brushing her hair away from her face carefully, turning to look at the younger woman curiously. She did not know how to feel, finding her lover busy gawking at her instead of sleeping with her.

Byulyi averted her gaze, staring at her feet. She shrugged as she scratched the side of her nose.

Yongsun grabbed her shoulder and turned the taller woman so that she was facing her as she waited for an elaboration.

“You have good chemistry with Henry. I saw the interview with him in Solarsido—”

“Ah huh. It was done on the same day,” continued Yongsun, raising a brow, looking at her keenly. “That interview was done in RBW in the morning before my fitting and another interview. It was nice of Henry to meet me at our studio, first thing in the morning.”

“Yea, he used the time to decorate his car, find a spot to have tea with you and wait for you to be done with your work at studio,” muttered Byulyi, combing her hair distractedly. “He’s sweet and not in a greasy way, makes good music, speaks Korean, and most importantly, you are comfortable with him. In both interviews, he was extremely impressed with you.” She ticked off her fingers slowly as she listed traits, she had discovered about the established singer. “He is so relaxed with you that he doesn’t mind talking about age with you, a sore topic for him—”

“We are of the same age, Byul. It is effortless to talk about age when you’re of the same age.” Yongsun folded her arms now as her brows knitted together. “What are you trying to say?”

“Nothing, Squishy,” concluded the rapper smoothly before smiling affectionately as they locked eyes with each other. “Don’t you have a performance later in the afternoon? Then, we have preparation for our online fanmeeting. Let’s get you to bed now.”

Yongsun ran her hair haphazardly before she halted her. “Don’t keep me out, Byul. What’s up? Don’t make me wrench it out of you,” warned the singer, her voice low.

Silence stretched between them for a moment before Byulyi decided. “There’s nothing to be said.” The lines of her face tensed before they relaxed. “Let me shut down the computer and we’ll sleep.” She turned to reach for the mouse and turned off the computer. Ignoring Yongsun’s protest, she took the older woman’s hand and led her back to their bedroom.

They lay in bed, under their covers. Yongsun shifted so that she was lying on Byulyi’s chest as the younger woman threw an arm around her protectively. She could feel her warmth cloaking her like a warm duvet on a wintry night, so safe and warm. Byulyi’s face was buried in her hair as the taller woman ran her hand up and down her arm comfortingly.

“That song,” whispered the rapper, her tired voice filled with sorrow and awe, “got to me.” She pressed her lips against her hair as she tightened her hold over her. The song tugged at her heartstrings violently as her mind backpedal to the image of Yongsun singing to the consummate wailing of Henry’s violin. “I can see why you were inspired to compose that afternoon. That moment was just wow.”

Her answer was so nuanced that Yongsun did not know what to think, a jarring feeling since she knew the taller woman very well.

Yongsun lifted her head wearily to look at her side profile. “I remember that afternoon. It was nice. I did not know what to expect when I accepted his invitation. He was so earnest that I felt bad if I had rejected him. Henry was cooler than I thought but I just wanted to run home to you and hold you tight.” She felt her hands on her cheeks, soft yet rough around the edges and she leaned into her reassuring touch and sighed, contented.

Byulyi had turned to her side so that she was facing her again. Despite the darkness, they could discern each other’s features since they were sharing a breath.

“Did you?” mumbled Byulyi, the pads of her thumbs tracing the outside of her slightly parted lips tentatively as if she were cradling a fragile treasure in her hands. The pads of her thumbs left an electrifying sensation in its wake as they swept from the centre of her soft lips to the edge and halted. “You’re so beautiful.” Her sigh was so breathless and full of heartfelt awe that it filled the lethargic older woman with balmy warmth—like soaking your toes in the sparkling cool sea water on a warm summer.

“I am so beautiful that you would leave our bed in the middle of the night to ogle at Solar by yourself?” teased Yongsun, shaking her head lightly. No, she did not understand her. She traced the smooth skin of her thumb, slightly arched in rested position, with her index finger down to the inside of her wrist, tracing the prominent veins. And she remembered that one of the veins was apparently connected to the heart. She discounted the strange sensation that something was wrong with her response.

Byulyi leaned in and pressed her lip to the tip of her nose, wearing a faint smile. Her teeth reflecting some of the municipal light.  “Should I ogle at Solar-unnie with you? I don’t want her to be a girl with one eye, it will be the end of her successful idol career, even though she is so wonderful. Nah, we shouldn’t do that. Solar-unnie is meant to go places.”

Yongsun laughed huskily, mirroring her smile. “You clown.” She was referring to the impromptu karaoke session in the car on the way home with her members just now. Hyejin, blessed her heart, put on the song ‘Girl with one eye’ by Florence + The Machine. It was a magnificent song to work out her stress specially for the night as she animated the lyrics with great ferocity, much to the thrill of the younger members of the group.

“I took a knife and cut out her eye,” snarled Yongsun, pretending to gouge an eye out of some unlucky girl. “I took it home and watch it wither and die. Well, she’s lucky that I didn’t slip her a smile. That’s why she sleeps with one eye open, but that’s the price she’ll pay.”

Yongsun stared into her amused eyes before she squeezed her pointed chin with her thumb and index finger. “Tell me, Crinkles, does this wonderful Solar have fingers in my pie?” Her eyes gleamed.

Byulyi chortled, prying her hand from her chin so that it fell on her collar. Yongsun automatically rested the other hand on her chest. “Overprotective of your food like our Jinie huh. OK. I’ll remember not to get in between you and your food.” She grinned at her own joke before she turned away by resting on her back.

Yongsun scoffed, all sleep disappeared from her eyes. “I was trying to be a considerate girlfriend today, but it seems like you don’t actually need to sleep.” She applied pressure on her chest as she climbed on her girlfriend. Without hesitation, she reached for the buttons of her top, her eyes darkened with want.

All Byulyi could do was groan before Yongsun took hostage of her lips greedily, her hands busy. The notion of sleep was tossed far away of their mind immediately as they loved each other. Yongsun noted that her partner had loved her with an anxiety that she had not noticed in the past and that resulted in a dark bruise in the middle of her right shoulder. When dawn finally broke, heralding the start of another wonderful day, Yongsun conceded since she needed to get her make up done for a performance. She rose from the bed, unclothed, and got into their bathroom to start her ablutions, leaving her exhausted lover in bed, too tired to cover herself. Yongsun returned to bed to tuck in her snoring lover who had fallen asleep when she was away.

Aish, this woman was going to complain later for letting her sleep without washing up.

As she stared at the peaceful face of her soulmate, a quote she remembered reading a long time ago sneaked into her mind, nibbling around the edges of her mind. She could not remember the exact wording, but she remembered it was about ness and love. She took her mobile from the nightstand. She dropped the two words into the search bar and tried to find that exact quote that would resonate with this moment. Then, she found it.

“Your body should only belong to those who fall in love with your soul.” Ah. That was the quote that she was searching for. It was a heart-warming advice from a loving father to his daughter, that espoused parental love for their children. If her parents weren’t Asian, they would probably say that to her, since most conservative Asians wouldn’t even want to think that their children had lives.

“With my soul, huh?” smiled Yongsun faintly. She threaded her hand through her soft brown hair, slightly moist from their activities before her cheek. Then, she remembered that she really needed to go. There was always work for idols. She leaned in and kissed her eyelids softly and smiled when she tried to swat her with a hand. Her heart bursting with seams at the sheer gratitude that they could share a moment like this. With great reluctance, she departed from their warm bed.

The quote was on her mind as she got ready for her performance with an incredibly famous veteran that she admired in the industry. By the time she had reached the studio where the filming was conducted, Byulyi was awake. The rapper greeted her as usual with a simple message before she hit the gym after dealing with their laundry and the maintenance of their apartment, a habit that endured since their trainee days.

It sounded like a dreadfully ordinary life, but it was a luxury that she learnt never to take for granted.

The usual greeting reminded her of a time she took a while to accepted that Byulyi simply always wanted to be a part of her life rather than keeping tabs on her. It was a shift of perspectives since Byulyi was used to concept of checking in on her loved ones, especially her younger siblings as the eldest member of the family while she was uncomfortable with the idea because she had to report to her family frequently precisely since she was the youngest. Yongsun was the oldest and the leader of their group, yet this younger woman sought to keep tabs on her as if she needed another guardian. Ah, that was something they had to get used to. To be fair, she was amazed that the rapper had mostly kept up this habit for years.

What about the habit of watch out for her? A hand or an arm was always ready to catch her when she slipped. The familiar crinkling of her nose would appear when she laughed at her if the taller woman found her unhurt. It was just like that hike over the hill in the rain to the management office in the deserted island as she would hold her and help her to steady herself.

And Yongsun would always catch her when she fell. When Byulyi lost her confidence and stammered during an interview, unable to find an answer to a question. She would prompt the rapper of her answer, slightly beyond her gasp only due to her nerves and she would regain her composure and go on. She wasn’t there for her last night when she stumbled around with the new concept, too blinded to realise how difficult it was for her.

Everyone but Byulyi herself thought that she fit that provocative female fatale concept, something that was firmly against Byulyi’s truth: you don’t need to be y to be a beautiful woman. And that jarring discrepancy between her truth and her dressing made last night a horrific experience.

According to her, the only silver lining was that she finally understood the complexities that she and Hyejin had to rock these concepts effortlessly. Not as if it wasn’t tough to wear a suit and tie and looked as if you were born to wear it when these clothes were meant to flatter a male physical body; usually making the female body frumpier and more undesirable. Nope, Byulyi looked hot in a dinner suit and tie. And that was her truth: it wasn’t the clothes that make one beautiful, it was the attitude.

Truths. Her mind circled on that concept as she checked her carefully applied makeup using the mirror before she greeted the veteran singer for giving her this one-in-a-lifetime opportunity to sing with her.

She whipped out her mobile and hurriedly typed it into a note.

“When that storm comes like the howling typhoons,

Plunging the world into darkness

Sending tremors down into the very cornerstone of our truths

I can sleep easy by your side,

Knowing that you’ll keep me safe through the vicious elements.”

Her mind drifted to the typhoon period in which storms had been intensifying over the years due to La Nina and that power shortage caused by the storm. She bit the bottom of her lip, staring at the words on her screen. “Dramatic narrative, huh. Aish.” She wanted to delete it but stopped herself. That was true of their relationship, wasn’t it? Didn’t she sleep through a storm on that deserted island simply because she was by her side? She remembered how peeved the rapper was. She had stayed up the entire night, watching over her because of the horrendous weather and that they were too far away to seek for help.

“I don’t know what a love of a lifetime looks like

though I sing countless songs of a forever love

and tasted its thrilling a