[May 20 | Saturday]

Kim Dahyun stared blankly at the analog clock perched up on the kitchen shelf across from where she sat. She watched the second hand make its rounds, loop after loop, the perfect visual representation of time mocking her.

9:45 PM. I’ll start then. At least that was what she had hoped. 9:45 PM seemed like a nice round time to start work as opposed to 9:37 PM anyway. The problem was that Dahyun didn’t really know where to begin. She had far too many things to do and not enough time to get everything done. It had been a few hours since she made a to-do list of her most pressing tasks, but for some reason, she just could not find the motivation to get started. This was probably the senioritis hitting. 

Dahyun was a 4th-year Computer Science and Graphic Design double major. Her current life goal was to become a video game developer because she always had a passion for video games and never grew out of it. And she was actually almost there. More than halfway through the final quarter of her final year of college. More than halfway through her quarter-long internship with FourSquared Games (that could potentially lead to full-time employment if she was good enough). So close yet still so far. 

These last few weeks before graduation could make or break her dreams and she knew it. The pressure was on and her frustration with herself only grew. 

Before she knew it, she had reached her breaking point for that day, tears steadily streaming down her cheeks as she began to have what seemed like a (mild) panic attack. Crying was supposed to help ease the tension she felt all over her body, release the tightness in her chest, but it seemed like nothing could save Dahyun from the immense stress that had accumulated in her life as of late. 

Deadlines, midterms, projects, and presentations. The hellish nightmare experienced by most college students-- at least those that cared enough to worry about such things. And Dahyun, being the perfectionist she was, cared a whole lot.

Come on, breathe! Dahyun balled her fists, taking in a deep breath, and letting it out after a few seconds of counting. She repeated this cycle and slowly, the tension she felt in her chest eased.

“I saw that…'' Jihyo said all the way from the couch where she was lying down watching reruns of The Bachelorette. Jihyo was Dahyun’s housemate, best friend, and guardian angel. She was always looking out for Dahyun. In fact, just that night, Jihyo had bought the girl dinner because she refused to go out to buy herself a decent meal.

Jihyo pulled off her earbuds, folded her laptop shut, and walked over to the dining area where Dahyun was sitting.

“You saw nothing, Ji.” Dahyun sniffled. 

“Your cheeks are still damp, Dahyun. And your nose is red. What’s going on?”

Dahyun slid a piece of paper across the table.

A list of things Dahyun needed to get done that Saturday night (in no particular order): 

“That’s one hefty list you’ve got there, buddy. I’m sorry.” Jihyo gave her a pat on the back. “Do you want me to heat up your dinner? It’s been sitting there for a while.” 

The untouched plate of bulgogi and rice suddenly looked more appetizing to Dahyun. Perhaps some food would give her the boost she needed. She appreciated Jihyo for offering to spare her the trouble of heating her food, but she was an adult, and she could do it herself.

…Just not at that moment.

“It’s fine, Ji. Thanks though.” Dahyun flashed her a sad smile. She wasn't that hungry anyway. 

Jihyo grimaced in return. “Eat something! Oh my gosh-- I can’t watch you stress-cry like that and not eat. It will make you feel better.”

“Ugh--it’s just that I have so much to do!” Dahyun threw both hands up in frustration. “Tell me again why I decided to procrastinate.”

Jihyo raised a brow. “Well, do you really want me to answer that?”

Knowing exactly what Jihyo was about to say, Dahyun answered, “No.”

But it wouldn’t stop Jihyo anyway. “The more time you spend with your delinquent friend, the less time you have for yourself. I mean, it’s simple math Dahyun.”

"Oh come on, Sana's not a delinquent. It's really not that bad. I can handle it." 

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but did I not catch you crying a few seconds ago?" sassed Jihyo. 

"Yeah, but that's totally normal. Everybody cries at least once during their college career! It’s all the stress."

"Avoidable stress, if you had prioritized your time properly. Look, time may be a social construct, but as it stands, there’s a finite amount of hours in a day. And if you spend most of it with Sana, you’re not going to have enough for yourself.”

Dahyun sighed in defeat. Jihyo was absolutely right and there was no denying it. But she wasn’t always like this. 

Dahyun typically remained on top of her academic game, having made an appearance on the Dean’s List multiple times. It was just that this last year-- this last quarter especially-- Dahyun promised to make herself more available to have a social life. Not that many people had been asking her to go hang out. Only one person seemed to be taking advantage of her willingness to be socially available: Minatozaki Sana.

Sana was also one of Dahyun’s best friends. She was definitely the oldest friend Dahyun had kept through her life, having known each other since elementary school. 

Like Jihyo, Sana was a psychology major. And they sometimes had classes together-- if Sana only showed up to them. Jihyo called Sana Dahyun’s “delinquent friend” for that reason. Not to mention, Sana had built up quite the reputation of being a heart-breaker, always being seen at clubs or bars, making out with random strangers, but never committing to anything more than that.

Truthfully, all of the recent behaviors Sana had been exhibiting worried Dahyun because she wasn’t acting like herself. Sana wasn’t some drink-happy truant who hated school. In fact, Sana was someone who hated the taste of alcohol and didn’t pick up her first drink until her 21st birthday. 

But this past year, something changed about her. Sana used to have more Dean’s List entries than Dahyun, but those grades, along with her work ethic, went down the drain. Sana had never told Dahyun why and Dahyun was always afraid to ask. All Dahyun could bring herself to do was support Sana through it all. And for her, that meant showing up and being there for Sana when she needed her-- no matter the cost to herself.

"She’s my best friend too, Ji. She needs me.”

“But who's taking care of you, Dahyun?" 

"I can take care of myself." 

Jihyo scoffed and raised a brow at Dahyun. "Tell that to your dinner-- which I had to buy for you…" 

"Okay, so maybe I'm having a not-so-hot day. We all have off days."

"You know it's not healthy."

"I know… It's just that I can't stop myself when it comes to her, Ji. Trust me, I tried to leave and say no. But I just can't help myself."

"Because you love her."

Dahyun bit down on her lip and looked up at Jihyo. She had really hoped the girl would have forgotten that half-drunk conversation they had on her birthday the year before. But of course, she could always count on Jihyo to remember things. 

“It’s more complicated than that, Ji. I promise I’ll get my together tonight.”

[Past May 28 | Saturday] 

Dahyun only ever drank on special occasions, and even then, not a huge amount. But since it was her 21st birthday, and she could legally buy herself drinks, her friends decided to take her out to the clubs. Seeing as she was the last amongst her friends to turn 21, they wanted her day to be special. 

A trifecta of drinks made its way haphazardly in Jihyo's hands from the bar to their table, all of which were for Dahyun. A birthday treat. Sana, who hated drinking, nearly gagged at the sight, but continued to put on a smile for Dahyun.

"Are you ready, Dahyun?" Jihyo shouted over the blaring music. "Remember, you don't have to force yourself to finish these drinks if you don't want to." 

"But you should do your best 'cause if you don't, Jihyo will down them and I don't want to have to deal with that," Momo (Jihyo's longtime girlfriend) teased.

"I'm ready!"

"Hey, just make sure to keep an eye on her, okay?" Sana warned. "These drinks might completely break her and who knows which guy she will end up making out with again."

Dahyun shook her head in embarrassment. "That was one time! It will never happen again. No more men!" 

"And I don't suppose you're suddenly into girls," Sana cackled, also earning laughs from Jihyo and Momo. 

Dahyun laughed along sheepishly. She had never actually come out to her friends before, so they didn't know that that was exactly what she had meant.

Having grown up in a conservative household, her parents weren’t the most liberal of people. They always had something to say about gay people and it was never a pleasant sentiment. Because she feared losing their love, Dahyun hid that part of herself from everyone-- even Sana, who had always been fairly open about dating anyone regardless of gender.

Although, Dahyun had slightly different reasons for not telling Sana. 

She knew from a very young age that she had liked girls. But when they were in high school together, Dahyun became a walking cliché by falling in love with her best friend. Because at some point (she wasn’t very sure when exactly), the lines blurred and she realized she was head-over-heels in love with Sana. 

She was certain it was love at that time but knew she couldn’t pursue it because of her parents. So, those feelings remained a secret, buried deep within. As they grew up and grew slightly apart --because of how busy they’d both gotten in college-- she figured it was best for their relationship if she just moved on. 

At least she tried to. But there hadn't been many successful attempts because her best friend and everyone she met in the past three years of college believed she was straight. She never really lied about her uality or anything (except to Sana who had once asked her back in high school), all her friends just never assumed she was into girls.

But perhaps it was time to tell them, Dahyun thought. She was an adult, legally alcohol purchasing and everything. She didn't even know what was scaring her at that point. Jihyo and Momo were together. They were happily in love. And Sana, well, she had dated many girls, just never really committed. Her friends wouldn't shun her for being gay. But they would likely be mad that she had kept this from them for so long. 

They can’t get mad if it’s my birthday. At least that’s what Dahyun thought.

Alcohol. She needed alcohol in her system to get this done and over with. Dahyun stared down the three mixed drinks in front of her, each one glowing a different color. She grabbed the green one first, the glass looking rather tall in her tiny hands. Her friends cheered as she brought the glass close to her lips and in a few swigs, she managed to down the entire glass. 

Jihyo gave her a pat on the back. "Holy , I didn't think you'd do it one go! Are you okay?" 

The aftertaste came way later than expected. Dahyun nodded but didn't want to open in fear that everything would come right back up if she did. So instead, she picked up the red drink in the middle which was contained in a tiny fishbowl type of glass. 

"Dahyun, wait, slow down!" Sana warned, holding her hand back. 

Dahyun shook her head and pulled her hand away from Sana. The red drink came with a straw but Dahyun decided to forgo it. She gulped down the second drink just like she did the first. 

By the time she had finished it, everything around her had slowed down considerably. The music was still loud, but somehow it felt like she was listening through a giant plastic bubble. Every sound was muffled.

"Two down! One to go!" Jihyo and Momo clapped their hands, amused by Dahyun, who was struggling to keep up.

"Take a break, Dahyun," Sana said again. “You can watch us drink first, okay? Don’t down that last one until I get back.” Sana thought that was probably the best way to stop Dahyun from drinking the last cocktail. “You two, please keep an eye on her.”

Sana dipped and made her way to the bar. Her trick had worked and Dahyun just waited like a puppy. 

“So, 21, huh?” Momo and Jihyo scooted closer to her, filling the gap Sana had left. “How are you feeling?” Momo asked.

“Maybe… a bit… drunk," Dahyun slurred her words, “Nope… I’m definitely drunk.”

Jihyo was about to say something when a girl in a little red dress walked up to their table. “Hey! Do you remember me?” said the stranger to Dahyun, “We have a class together.”

“Huh?” Dahyun could not remember where she’d seen this girl before. But she was pretty. “Sorry, I--”

“Nayeon. Im Nayeon.” the girl in the red dress held out a hand for her to shake. “I always sit at the back, so you probably--”

“I-- uh--  remember you.” Dahyun lied. She had no idea who this girl was or what class they had in common. Dahyun wasn’t one to forget faces, and Nayeon’s face wasn’t one to forget.

“I hope you don’t mind, I thought you were really cute, so I thought I’d come over and shoot my shot. Do you want to dance with me, maybe?”

Dahyun’s eyes widened. She’d never met anyone who was that forward. Meanwhile, Jihyo and Momo couldn’t help but laugh out loud. 

“Go on, Dahyun!” Jihyo whooped, pushing Dahyun forward. “Dance with her!”

“No more men! No more men! No more men!” Momo chanted, fists banging on the table.

It was all a joke to them, but Dahyun was internally panicking. Nayeon was very pretty and as it stood, she could barely keep herself upright. There was no way she was going to be able to dance with this girl.

“What do you say? Just for a few minutes.” Nayeon offered her hand for Dahyun to take.

Momo and Jihyo must have expected her to decline because when she took Nayeon’s hand, their jaws dropped to the floor. The last thing Dahyun saw before being pulled away was the confused looks on her friends’ faces. 

“I’m not a very good dancer!” Dahyun shouted, trying to keep up with the increasing volume of the music as she followed Nayeon onto the dancefloor. 

Nayeon managed to bring them somewhere close to the front where there were fewer people around.

“You don’t have to be a good dancer. You just have to feel the beat and keep close to me.” Nayeon pulled both of Dahyun’s hands and guided them around her neck, leaving only inches between their bodies.

Dahyun was very thankful it was dark in the club and her cheeks had already been flushed prior because she was certain that a lot of blood rushed to her face. She was definitely into girls. And Nayeon was a very pretty girl. 

“I hope your friends don’t hate me for stealing you. What were you doing here tonight anyway?”

“Ah… they won’t mind! This is probably a big joke to them. Oh-- it’s my birthday tonight!”

Nayeon stopped following the beat and paused her step. “Wait, really? Happy birthday!”

“Thank you!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t have a gift for you.”

“That’s alright. Maybe you could just tell me what class we have together and forgive me for not knowing.”

“Deal.” Nayeon smiled. “But actually, I kind of lied too. We don’t really have any class together. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you because I thought you were cute.”

Dahyun was left flustered. “Really? I find that hard to believe. Did you even know my name?”

“Your friends said ‘Dahyun’, is that right?” Nayeon puffed up her cheeks and held her breath.

“Yes, that’s right! And you are...Nayeon?”

“Yep, that’s my name.” 

Dahyun continued to dance with Nayeon. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since she’d left her friends, but it must have been a while because a few songs had played. After another song finished, Nayeon asked her if she wanted to go sit down elsewhere. Dahyun agreed and followed her up to the lounge area.

Both of them were equally out of breath and plopped down on one of the unoccupied sofas. Dahyun was surprised she lasted that long, but at least she didn’t feel as drunk anymore, but she was still pretty tipsy.

“So, do you always ask girls to dance with you?” Dahyun asked, letting her body sink into the soft material.

Nayeon followed suit. “Only the pretty ones.”

“Hah-- you’re a very good liar, Nayeon.” 

“That wasn’t a lie, Dahyun,” Nayeon said matter-of-factly, “I think you’re the prettiest girl here.”

“Well, you clearly haven’t looked at a mirror.” 

“I-- wow-- that’s a good one.”

“Many more where that came from.” Dahyun quipped. She looked at Nayeon and couldn’t contain her smile. Her eyes slowly traced the girl’s features, stopping only when she got to her lips. 

Dahyun quickly looked back up and found Nayeon matching her gaze. 

“I’d like to give you another birthday gift, if you don’t mind,” Nayeon whispered. 

Dahyun nodded and in an ins