Kai was .

Up on the stage, under the scorching, blinding lights, he stood alone with you. He looked at you like he wanted to eat you up, like he wanted to drink you dry and consume your soul. Kai saw you, noticed you, he liked what he saw, and he let you know. He smiled, he smirked, he winked, he beckoned, and he made sure you knew you were the one.

You could see him clearly, coming at you. You could feel him fully, kissing you and holding you. Kai was yours, and there was nothing that could stop him.

Until the song ended, that is.

Once off the stage, he was Jongin. Kim Jongin.

Jongin would bow down to the staff and thanked them for their hard work, he accepted the praises and the congrats with a shy smile and eyes that would never really reach yours.

He got into his car amidst screams that pierced his ears, flashes that hurt his eyes, and unwelcome hands that tried to touch him. A small touch, not even a grip, was all they wanted, as if to get a drop of his glory and energy.

Baekhyun saw it all.

He was there when Jongin collapsed, he saw him when Jongin cried, he heard him when Jongin screamed, and he was there to hold him through all. 

Jongin was not .

He was sincere when he whispered love words for Baekhyun, eyes pleading and hands nervous. He was patient when Baekhyun didn’t know what to say, or what to feel. He was considerate when Baekhyun mumbled and fumbled, something so unlike him. Baekhyun thought it might turn him off, but Jongin just shook his head and said that there was nothing Baekhyun might do that he wouldn’t like. Baekhyun didn’t know if his heart lived or died because of those words.

Jongin was understanding when Baekhyun felt guilty about always being on the receiving end. Just letting him touch him was enough, he had said. They weren’t doing business, they were trying to see where their feelings might lead them. There was no give or take; there was no obligation.

Jongin was reliable. He was honest about Baekhyun’s mistakes, but he was also loving with them. Yes, Baekhyun did talk too much, but it took off the burden that the other members were feeling to fill the time. Yes, Baekhyun might have been bouncing around too much on the set, but it was a constant source of strength. Like sunlight, Jongin had said once before kissing him, warm and uplifting.

For Baekhyun, Jongin was love. Someone worth living for.