When she woke up, it was already afternoon, and the sunlight filtered in through the small window above her equally small, wooden desk. For the first time in years, she felt warm, not because of the golden rays caressing her skin nor because of the extra blanket strewn across her splayed body. It was only after she stretched, made her bed, and walked out into the living room that she saw the source of her ease standing in the kitchen, quietly shuffling through the cabinets to find some cooking utensils.

Irene smiled and leaned against the back of her sofa, watching Seulgi move about, body graceful but powerful in even the smallest flicks of her fingers. It was like watching a leopard dance, every movement calculated but intended to impress, a sense of self that gave way to the charismatic aura that the taller girl possessed. The swift yank of the refrigerator door, the sweep of her hand as it made its way towards the eggs, the flex in her bicep when pulling the milk out—all of it screamed Seulgi, Seulgi, Seulgi, and Irene felt the crush of her heart with the thought that she was probably dreaming, because there was no way Seulgi would be here with her right now, turning around from the sensation of being watched, smiling at Irene as she put down the materials for the pancakes, looking at her like she loved her.

“You’re up? I was just about to prepare breakfast.”

Was this a lucid dream? Perhaps Irene could reach out and touch her, see if she could feel the rough hands and soft cheeks as she could feel the warmth of Seulgi’s presence and hear her crooning voice. It was worth a try, she reasoned, so she let her feet propel her to the waiting girl, the waiting girl with open arms.

“Awfully eager, aren’t you?” Irene felt the rumbling of Seulgi’s body as she laughed, arms around the smaller girl. “Let me see your face.”

It felt so real. Even the notion that her subconscious mind was cruel enough to play such tricks on her made Irene grip tighter onto the taller girl’s shirt, not ever wanting to wake up if her dreams could make her feel so alive. The voices in her head didn’t scream at her, telling her that she was a stupid fool or a monster, that she was asking for way more than she deserved, because this was all a dream anyway, and there was no penalty for being by Seulgi’s side in her dreams.

“Hey, are you okay?” Seulgi pulled away from Irene as the latter lunged forward, not wanting to feel the cold absence of the former’s body. “Irene?”

Irene stayed still in Seulgi’s arms, pretending that she could avoid all the obstacles in her dreams if she didn’t fight back, didn’t allow anything to penetrate her focus. Seulgi’s breathing was steady and her heartbeat pulsed assuringly against Irene’s body. Pure bliss was the only way to describe the simple contact.

“Baby, look at me.”

Even in her dreams, Irene couldn’t resist Seulgi’s gentle requests. The taller girl was giving her a concerned look, which gripped Irene’s heart in a cold terror. Seulgi tucked some hair behind Irene’s ear, eyes softening at the other’s horrified face.

“Irene, I’m here. I’m here now.”

Irene shook her head, still not trusting herself to speak. She reached out to Seulgi’s face, hands hovering near her cheek with hesitation. Seulgi grasped it and placed it in its spot.

“It’s me. For real.” Seulgi pulled her into her arms again. “I’m back.” She gazed into Irene’s eyes with a passion that eventually made Irene realize that her words were truth. “I’m home.”

---

“I still can’t believe that you’ve turned into some sort of master chef. Even I can’t make that many dishes in that time.”

Seulgi hummed, plating the last of the omelette. “Maybe you’ve just regressed into a child.”

Irene protested, smacking Seulgi’s . “Hey! I’m older than you!”

Seulgi gave her a cheeky grin. “No need to be shy.” She wrapped her arms around Irene and lifted her up, making Irene squeal as Seulgi spun around once. “It just means that I can take care of you now.”

“Damn you, Kang Seulgi.”

“As long as you’re around, nothing can damn me.”

Smooth-talker. Irene huffed but didn’t complain when Seulgi lifted a spoonful of cream soup to .

“It feels so nice being this domestic with you.” Seulgi continued to feed Irene, focusing on the smaller girl’s mouth. “I can’t imagine why it took us so long to get here.”

“Because you’re a stubborn cow, that’s why.”

Seulgi narrowed her eyes at Irene. “Careful. You wouldn’t want to bite the hand feeding you.”

“That’s a horrible use of the phrase.” Irene harrumphed. “I can feed myself anyway.”

Seulgi fed Irene anyway, taking bites from her own plate while the other girl was busy chewing. Irene watched Seulgi meticulously cut the food into neat pieces and organize them into imaginary boundaries on her plate, making the dish seem like a work of stained glass art.

“I’m sorry.”

Irene watched curiously as Seulgi looked down and pushed about at her breakfast, mixing the different bits together. She seemed upset but also like she was revealing a great secret, which confused Irene.

“I...The things you told me last night—it made me realize a lot of things.” She bit her lip. “I talked to Joy too, and she told me that everyone was hurt. I had hurt everyone, including myself.” She cracked her knuckles, making Irene wince. “I think I had forgiven you already when I saw you begging for forgiveness at my mom’s feet, but there had always been a dark cloud blocking out that fact because I was a young kid who was so angry about the sudden turn of events. I don’t think...I don’t think I ever truly hated you. Ridiculous, right?” Seulgi laughed. “This entire time, I had convinced myself that I hated you, but it was just my own guilt at finding you so compelling from the start, when I had known that it was an unnatural, twisted attraction.”

“Seulgi…”

“No, I...I just wanna finish.” Seulgi held Irene’s hands. “Is that okay with you?” Irene nodded. “I believed that the only justice in this world was one in which people face suffering for their bad deeds, and that as long as punishment was served, justice was achieved. But it’s more complicated than that.” Seulgi took a deep breath. “There’s always so many factors as to why people do things that we can’t understand, and we can’t rely on black and white systems to deal with the consequences. And for you...the true justice was in your redemption. You had been suffering before the accident, and you tried so hard to make up for your deed and even the things before that that you had no control over. And that’s why justice based on punishment doesn’t always work, because some people’s lives are punishment in themselves, and you did something stupid trying to escape something you didn’t perpetuate, which led to what it did. So I’m sorry. I should have realized that your presence in my life wasn’t for me to get my revenge on you but so you could redeem yourself to me by bringing me happiness again.” Seulgi smiled sadly. “That must be why I thought you were so beautiful even when you were asking my mom to forgive you. Because fate was telling me that you were the only one who knew what it