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To Be Loved (A TOP Songfiction)
It had been an hour since the concert had ended. A million thoughts were running through my head as I zoomed my car in the streets of Seoul.
Thoughts, emotions, memories.....
Right after my solo stage, I sent a text message to my Jina, asking her if she could meet me at the secluded park where we would usually have our dates.
No hesitations, no second thoughts.
When I saw her again at the concert, it was like my world suddenly lit up.
She came for me.
My heart burst in happiness. It became a confirmation that I had been an idiot for being a jerk to my wife. I coudn't believe what I had done things to hurt her. I couldn't believe what she had been through because of me. The man she had loved and trusted her heart to.
I am so sorry.
I suddenly started to shake in nervousness as I waited for her reply.
Would she accept my invitation?
The members gave me space and didn't bother me knowing that this was something I had to do alone and without the interference of others.
BEEP BEEP
My heart gave a jump.
Ok.
A two-letter word. Probably the shortest sentence that had made me the happiest.
After finishing the concert and the post-concert chaos, I quickly headed over to the park. Once I got there, I quickly tiptoed. Trying not to make any sound that might scare her away. I just needed this chance so much. I needed to redeem myself.
I need her to forgive me.
A few feet more, I saw her hunched figure sitting at a bench.
Thank God, she's not facing me.
I prepared myself, still tiptoeing. I breathed deeply and calmed my nerves. I counted to three and sat beside her and she immediately stiffened.
"Hey..." I greeted cautiously.
Hey....
What's your name?
Do you live around here?
Don't I know your face?
"Hi..." She greeted back. Almost inaudible but I was able to hear it.
God, her voice just makes heart ache for her.
You say I've been
a stranger for too long...
I didn't even notice I was gone.
For moment, I couldn't say anything. I was too chicken to do so. But I knew my wife. She must be hurting of hearing the silence.
I need to man up.
"H-how are you?" I asked. Probably one of the most stupid questions I have ever asked in my entire life.
She gave a bitter laugh and shook her head.
"What do you want?" Her voice was trying to be cold but I could detect the nervousness in her voice as well. I didn't know if I should be happy she was nervous like me. But if she was, it meant that she was thinking I was out there to break her heart again. And that fact gave my heart a squeeze.
I need to do something more than just sit beside her.
I stood up and went in front of her. She didn't even move nor did she look at me. She kept her head down. I threw away all my pride and dignity and did a full bow in front of her.
"Eep! What are you doing?!" She shrieked after I heard her gasp when she saw me.
"I AM SO SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I'M A SELFISH JERK! I'M AN IDIOT! I'M THE WORST HUSBAND! " I shout, hoping to make her hear the sincerity of my apology. I kept my body on the ground bowed down before her. "PLEASE TAKE ME BACK! I'M SO SORRY! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER, JINA!!!!!" I shouted more.
Please say
what I need to hear you say.
Say I'm thoughtless and foolish.
But say, "It's not too late."
"Please stand up! Stop this foolishness!" I heard her shout as well while trying to pull me up.
"Not until you forgive me!!!" I answer back and continued to bow.
"Seunghyun-ssi, come on! Your fans might see!!" She tried pulling my arms but I didn't let her. A tear suddenly cascaded down my cheek when she regarded me formally.
"Do you think I care about that, right now?!" I kept my voice normal but I couldn't. My voice became thick from trying to prevent myself from sobbing.
"A-are... Are you crying?" She asked softly. I suddenly felt her two hands cup my face. I immediately closed my eyes to cherish her hands.
God, what precious hands I've been missing all this time.
I felt her thumbs wipe away the now two streams of tears on my face. I didn't want to open my eyes. The thought of her being so close to me, finally. I didn't want to open my eyes and just to only face the fact that everything was a dream...an illusion. The feel of her hands on my face ignited my soul. I've never cherished such simple act.
"Don't cry..." She said softly. I opened my eyes at the tone of her voice.
So beautiful.
"I love you." I told her with as much love and sincerity as I can muster.
Now I don't know exactly
where we go from here.
But trying is the only way to know.
And I wanna come back home.
"I...." She bit her lip. "Come on, Seunghyun-ssi, get up." She urged again. She removed her hands away from my face and stood up.
"NO!!!" Immediately, I threw my arms around her legs.
"CHOI SEUNGHYUN!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!?!?" She attempted to wriggle her legs out of my arms but I didn't.
And I wouldn't.
"I don't care!! I don't care!! I don't care what I look like! I don't care if people see!! I don't care about others! I don't care!!! I don't give a damn!!!! I DON'T CARE!!! I only care about you!!! Please.. Just take me back.. I love you so much!!! I won't hurt you again, please? Give me another chance!!! Please!!! Just one chance... One last chance and I promise I won't screw it up!!! Please!!! Please...." I couldn't help it anymore. I was already sobbing uncontrollably.
It ain't always...
Please believe me.
Don't give up
coz we're halfway there.
"Please.... Please say yes that you'll take me back.... Jina... I love you... Please.... I'm sorry.. I love you... I'm sorry...."
I didn't know when she started to cry as well but when I looked at her, she was crying. I quickly stood up and hugged her, wanting to ease the pain I have made her feel.
"I'm sorry.. Please don't cry baby.. I'm here now.. I won't leave you... I won't ever leave you... I love you. I love you." I whispered and showered her face with kisses. "Please... I'm sorry... Please don't cry..." I continued to hug her even though I have yet to feel her arms around me, too.
We're at the crossroads
In the middle
Between home
And between us there
"Oppa......" She mumbled through her sobs.
Oppa.
"Yes baby??" I was already trying to control my tears.
"Y-you hurt me. I'm scared of f-fee-ling that again. It hurts a lot."
I'm sorry.
"I'm so sorry for everything, Jina.. But I promise you, I've learned my lesson. I love you so much. I won't do it ever again.. I'm so sorry baby.. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.. Please come back home. Please... Trust me again. I'll do everything you want me to do. Please... I need you by my side.. I love you, Jina.. Please...." I cupped her face in my hands and wiped away her tears.
All I need is
Some direction.
Let me know you're here for me.
Where you are
Is where I'll be.
"Trust me... I know it's hard but please.... Give me a chance to show you that I have changed. I'm all yours, Jina.. I promise. Just give me one last chance, Jina.... Please.. I'll prove myself to you, baby."
We stared at each other for the longest time. I could see hesitance in her eyes and I didn't blame her. I only have myself to blame. But I pray to God that she would give me this last chance and I would do everything to make her happy. I would do everything to make her forget all of the things I had done to her. All of the pain I had inflicted on her. All the scars, all the heartaches. I would be the best husband she could ever think of.
She took a deep breath bit her lip.
Please.
"Last chance, Oppa."
Show me the way to make a start
Show me the road back to your heart
And I've the only truth that I need to know
There's a million places I can go
But without you, it aint
home.
[eep accidentally hit 'update chapter' without replying to all your comments yet! I will just use the reply button. Huuuu~ I missed you all. How was your Halloween?]
[PS: i double answered some of your posts. lol. im sorry if i already answered you the previous chapter. aigoo~~!]
[IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!! :(((]
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