**Different from what I posted before in this chapter.  The one that was lost when something happened in AFF.

Life without taking chances
Is no kind of life at all
You've gotta stand up for something
Even if you might fall

It has been a week since I moved out of our house.  It wasn't my decision at first, actually.  My best friend, Sas, had called me while I was in the middle of crying.  She immediately noticed that something was up.  She was the only person in the entire world that knew of the real situation between me and Seunghyun oppa.  She demanded that I go to her place or vice versa.  She knew we I needed to let my emotions out.  

And I do.

I debated with myself if I was going to do so, seeing the bruise was still very fresh and apparent.  But Sas was Sas.  She was my best friend and she knew what was the best for me.

Gotta take the road
Wherever it might go
No matter where, no matter what
I want you to know
I want you to know

Once she saw how I looked like, she said all the curses in the book against Seunghyun oppa.  

"Did he force you again?"  She asked, fury could clearly be seen in her eyes and I looked away.  And with that simple gesture,

she knew.

She told me to stay at her house because as my bestfriend, she just couldn't let this go on.  I tried to smile and defended Seunghyun oppa.

Because that is what good wives do, right?

But my reasons and pleas fell on deaf ears.  And I guess I defended oppa too much that it got to the point that she got mad and threatened me.

"This is bullshi*, JINA!!!  WHEN ARE YOU GONNA WAKE UP?!  LOOK AT YOURSELF!!!!  HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU ANYMORE!!!!!  WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT???  You know what!?  I'm sorry but I'm taking matters into my own hands.  Choi Gina, the moment you step back into your house, I swear I will go to the media and tell all about your marriage and your husband's evilness.  If you care about your husband and his oh-so-precious idol group's image, then you better think twice."

Maybe I was crazy
I guess I was sometimes
And maybe it's hard to chase this
But I had to know what's right

I cried when I heard what she said.  Knowing Sas, she could and would do anything she sets her mind to.  

What will happen to Oppa?  Who would take care of him every morning?  How will he eat?  Who will do his clothes?

These questions filled up my mind while she drove me back to the house.  She allowed me, but only to take my clothes once Seunghyun Oppa falls asleep. She patiently waited for me outside the house.  And when I came back to the car after the bitter farewell with my husband, I didn't miss her fists curling into tight balls.  

She knew.

Everyday you've got to live
For what you believe
Please understand
I had no choice
It's what had to be

The reason I agreed to live away from Seunghyun oppa was because I realized that my best friend was right.  For the first time in our marriage, I have to think of myself.  I have the right to also take care of myself.  But my love for Oppa surfaces more.  I think of him every day and every night.  I couldn't help but worry.  But my bestfriend is right.

No texts nor calls from him.

I even stayed at the flat above Sas's apartment so that he couldn't find me if he, by a miracle, decides to look for me.  But nothing, nada, zilch.  Not a trace of his shadow.

He doesn't love me anymore.

I...
Tried to do my best
To do the best I could
I...
Had to give my all
It's what I had to do

I couldn't help but let my tears flow whenever I was faced with the fact that our marriage is irreparable.  I was the only one who fought for it to work.  Sure it had been my fault why everything turned out to be this way.  I had been careless that I lost our babies.  I understand how he was feeling and why he turned out to be.

To him, I robbed him of his dream to be a father to beautiful babies.

But it wasn't like I did it on purpose.  I had a dream of being a mother, too!  If he was hurt, shouldn't he have thought that I was hurt too?  But no, he became cold and heartless and violent.  Our once was full of love marriage became an ice cold one.  He dropped me and started seeing other girls.

I know because I saw the love marks.

But I love him so much that I forgave his every encounter with every girl.  Because I love him too much that I didn't want our marriage to suffer and be broken. 

It's all because I love him.

I love him so much that I would forget my pain and leave him so that he could be free of me, a reminder of what he had lost.

I love him so much that he could be free to find what he had lost in another woman.

I love him so much that I am willing to suffer the pain alone.

I love him so much that I am willing to sacrifice my happiness in seeing and being with him so that he and his group could have peace.

It's because I love him.

And I'd...
Do it all again
And that's the honest truth
I...
I did it for you.

- Westlife's I Did It for You

[A/N]  Hi my dear readers! :D  I'm so sorry for the long absence.  But I was kind of bummed that my update (this chapter) was lost when AFF crashed. I didn't have any backup and I wrote on the spot so it was hard for me to think of another storyline agian for this chapter.  But GOOD NEWS!  I had updated and will continue to do so. So thank you so much for sticking with me!

WELCOME TO NEW SUBSCRIBERS! :D

@K-P0PG1rL- Hi!! Thank you so much for supporting my fics, whether it's a Yunho fic or not.  *huuuuug*  Well, yeah.  He's being a jerk.  Poor Jina.  But don't worry, there's always a rainbow after a rain. *wink*

@serenesmile- thank you so much for waiting!  Somebody has to stand up to TOP.  ANd that is Jiyong.  I think he has a mature mind to do so. :)

@maine26- thank you for saying it's amazing! :D :D :D

@cepheusxx- Yes, im sorry the first chappies are sad.  But things will get better.  Oops! I better keep my mouth shut. LOL. ^_^

@Bungsky_- *GASPS* 30 chapters? *gulp*  I'll see what I can do.  But... if this turns out to be a very short fic, please don't get disappointed!  I hope I'll get a feedback from you after it ends. TEehee.

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@ShimCharlene- Do you want a tissue paper? :)  *huuug* 

@TabitaVP- Yes, I don't know what is on his mind that he jsut let her go.  :( Poor Jina,r ight?  And yeeey!  Another WL fan!! *fistbump* :D

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