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twitter message fourteen To the Irene I met in Shagua not even a year ago,

Hi. I feel like you know who I am already, so..

I feel guilty writing this, because I'm the one who had severed our contact, but the holiday season has got me thinking about you more than I should be. I don't know? We just planned so much into the future, and all of them went bust. My fault, of course. I really hope you're doing well. I am in no way backtracking my words, but I do sometimes wonder what could've been if I tried harder for you. I don't love you anymore, but I do miss you. I can't really say these things face to face, so as the coward that I've always been, here I am. I doubt you'd be able to find this though.

The real reason I'd left was because I was falling for you. Irl. And it scared me. It was scary, and I hate myself for it. I wish we could've established ooc and ic more, but when I realized, I broke down and neglected you because of it. It was euphoric at the same time - because you treated me the way I wanted to be treated. For a bit, I wished you fell for me too, so I wouldn't be scared to say I like you, not to your fc, but to you.

I can contact you, and you can contact me. But I kinda don't want to, because I'm scared. Scared that you're making progress, and me saying "hi, can we be friends again?" When I was the one who left would shatter everything. It's guilt, from when I loved y