Kim Kibum still remembered the time when that skinny, pretty boy named Lee Taemin transferred to his class in the middle of the semester. He remembered him being a shy, loner kid who had his head down most of the times, scribbling into his notes while listening and humming to some songs Kibum heard once on one of the ballet recitals he attended. But Kibum didn’t really mind him much. Actually, no one did. Including Choi Minho, Kibum’s classmate-slash-enemy-slash-best friend. Kibum even noticed Minho just spared the kid one glance when he introduced himself, before going back to his phone, busy texting Song Yi, Kibum guessed.

Talking about Song Yi, it was still a mystery for Kibum, what actually her and Minho’s relationship was. Both said they were childhood best friends, but Kibum was skeptical. As a bystander, Kibum saw something more between them, but Kibum was forced to believe that his suspicion was amiss the moment Song Yi introduced his boyfriend to him.

However, his suspicion faced another obstacle to see the light the moment Lee Taemin entered the picture.

Kibum didn’t know when exactly Minho started to pay attention to Lee Taemin. As much as he remembered, Minho didn’t really realize Taemin’s presence even after 2 months the gorgeous boy transferred, maybe because Taemin quietly sat in the corner of the class beside the window, while Minho sat in the middle, being the center of attention like he usually did.

But suddenly Kibum started receiving questions from the taller boy about Lee Taemin, because he clearly knew the news around the school more than the soccer freak. Whom Taemin usually hang out with, was he always this quiet, do he always eat lunch alone like that, have you ever talked to him, and so on. Honestly, Kibum himself didn’t really know much except the fact that Lee Taemin was a loner, because the shy boy hardly reciprocated Kibum’s attempt to befriend him. Lee Jinki, the head of newspaper club Kibum had crushed on since first year, suspected it due to Kibum’s sassy and intimidating aura, which earned the poor older boy Kibum’s cold shoulder for one week, and the cold treatment didn’t end until Jinki clumsily confessed to Kibum.

So, Kibum was bewildered when he witnessed how Lee Taemin started to open up a little by a little towards Minho. How he quietly greeted back Minho’s ‘good morning’, how he timidly smiled and waved back at Minho’s goodbye. And one day, on the rare day Lee Taemin was seen at the cafeteria because he usually just ate alone at class, Minho excitedly asked him to join their table.

And much to Kibum’s surprise, Taemin said ‘yes’.

That was the time, based on Kibum’s memories, Lee Taemin started to hang out with them.

Although still timid as ever, Taemin started to talk more, to smile more, and to open up more.

Second year passed like that, and the third year had just started when Kibum received the mind-blowing news of Minho and Taemin officially dated.

Kibum really started to question his judgment, which was rarely false because he was a keen observer. In Kibum’s eyes, Taemin was like a younger brother for Minho, someone whom he loved to teased, as well as to protect. But Jinki said, things like love couldn’t really be seen like that, because it was a delicate, complex, and confusing feelings. So Kibum decided to let go of his suspicion. Both of them looked so happy, after all, and Kibum was content seeing that.

They graduated and Kibum couldn’t be happier, because he finally could attend the same school again with Jinki who was one year ahead, along with Minho. Taemin would attend different university, Korean National University of Arts, but it was so close by that Kibum suggested Minho and Taemin should just look for a place together, just like how he moved in with Jinki, which Taemin strongly opposed, made him, even Minho confuse, but they brushed it off as Taemin was just being extremely shy as usual.

It should be a red flag, because rather than shy, Taemin seemed more mad and sad, but none of them realized it, so Kibum regretted it till this day, though he knew no one regretted it as much as Minho did.

For the three years Kibum knew Minho, he never dreamed to see Minho at the state he was in exactly one week after graduation.

Contrary to Kibum who was a sensitive, crybaby person, Minho rarely showed his sadness and tears because he didn’t like to affect anyone by his despair. The only time he saw Minho’s teary eyes, though Minho still stubbornly held back his tears, was the time he missed the penalty goals at one competition which led to their school team lose. So, seeing Minho cried this hard made Kibum freeze. He couldn’t do anything except watching his boyfriend gently comfort Minho.

He left, Hyung! He’s gone! And the last time I see him, the only thing I did is hurting him, making him cry!

Kibum still remembered Minho’s words between his sobs, while Jinki hugged him. The couple had a hard time to really understand the situation, but they finally got a full picture, that Taemin broke up with Minho because he found out Minho’s feelings to Song Yi, that Minho blamed himself for spending a whole week to gather up his courage to look for Taemin, to apologize properly, only to find out that the boy had moved to London.

Honestly, Kibum was sad as well, because he had grown to love Taemin, but on top of it, he felt a little betrayed, because Taemin said nothing about his moving. But at the end, he accepted it, because he knew, it would be the best for Taemin, he got the talent, he got the chance. So, he couldn’t understand Minho’s reaction to this. Yes, he should feel guilty, but should he feel this hurt? Should this, take away his smile, like this? For someone knowing Minho for a long time, Kibum noticed Minho didn’t smile as bright as before after it, he noticed Minho wasn’t as active as before after it. Kibum didn’t understand it, if Minho didn’t love Taemin, why would the latter’s departure affect Minho this much?

It’s complicated.

Jinki once said to Kibum.

He might not love him that way, but he still held Taemin dearly close to his heart. The fact that Minho is the reason Taemin leaves make it worse. Being someone’s reason of pain and misery, especially if that someone is important to you, can you imagine how hard it is? Especially for someone like Minho. It wounds him, and it will scar, for the rest of his life.

Just like Jinki said, Kibum witnessed how the wound healed but left scar on Minho for ten years. He always wondered, could it be healed completely? Could the scar be gone too? He thought it was impossible, after Lee Taemin entered the picture for the second time.

He never saw Minho that happy for ten years, and he started to see the light of chance that it was possible after all, to erase the scar.

Those eye bags, as well as blank stare from Minho when he welcomed Kibum, Jinki and the sleeping Jonghyun that night were enough to make even the always calm Jinki startled. Minho didn’t say much, he just briefly explained the confession from Song Yi and the break up with Taemin. The couple didn’t—couldn’t—really say anything. They shut up the moment Minho said that Taemin couldn’t believe him, that he deserved every bit of it because he was the one who caused it eleven years ago.

Jinki woke up that night, finding Kibum was taking a peek outside, watching Minho slept on the couch, the thing Minho admitted he had done since the broke up because he couldn’t bear to sleep on the bed where he had made love with Taemin. He softly turned Kibum around, and his heart hurt seeing his husband’s eyes glistened with tears.

“He cries,” Kibum whispered. “He cries in his sleep, Hyung.”

Jinki could only envelope Kibum in hug and rub his back in comfort.

“Why can’t they be happy?” Kibum tearfully asked, but Jinki didn’t have an answer for that.

The silence in the elevator made the sound of Taemin’s nervous, tapping foot can be heard clearly. He sighed deeply as he stared at the yellow umbrella in his hand. He found it hanging on his door knob, with a sticky note on it, saying: The news said it will rain today. If the umbrella wasn’t familiar enough, the handwriting gave the sender’s identity away. Taemin had spent a good ten minutes, debating to knock and return it in person, or just hanging it on the door knob as well. Taemin hated the first option, he couldn’t see Minho and pretended everything was okay. But he hated the latter’s option as well, because it seemed cruel in front of Minho’s kind action, and Taemin thought he had been cruel enough by one-sidedly ended their relationship with those harsh words. At the end, Taemin took it in hurry, because he was close to miss the bus and be late, which was actually a great choice because it really rained in the middle of his way to the bus station.

That was why he was so nervous, not knowing how he should return the umbrella, because he had shamelessly exploited Minho’s kindness like that. Especially when they had been back to awkward neighbor just like Minho first moved in. No, it was more awkward than before. Taemin still could remember the moment he accidentally met Minho at the hallway, a few days after the break up. Taemin could only bow politely before he hurried to his house. But his fast steps were stopped by Minho’s question.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

Taemin honestly couldn’t make out the right answer. He felt bothered, but he knew it wasn’t Minho’s fault. It was his own fault, his own pain, and his own feeling that still loved Minho so much. Taemin was silence and he realized it seemed like a confirmation for Minho, but before he could said anything, Minho had spoken again.

“Will you…will you leave again?”

It wasn’t something Taemin expected. He was confused as ever. Did Minho expect him to leave? It seemed help a lot for both of them when Taemin left eleven years ago, they could move on, hell they even could be friends again after that. Should Taemin actually leave? Again?

But Taemin hated himself for being a coward and running away at that time, he didn’t want to run away again this time.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m not running away again.”

Those words were the last words Taemin said to Minho. He didn’t bump into him anymore after that.

But right now, Taemin was in front of Minho’s door and he must face him. Taemin was actually a little angry, by Minho’s consistent kindness. How was he supposed to forget his feeling if Minho made his heart flutter by something small like this?

Taemin felt like beating himself up when he felt a tinge of disappointment the moment Kibum opened the door instead of Minho. He secretly hoped to see Minho, because he had missed him so much. And Taemin felt stupid because of that. I am supposed to try to move on, not looking for him like this! He scolded himself in his mind.

“Taemin?” Kibum was surprised, made Taemin feel sure that he had heard the news.

“Hi,” Taemin smiled awkwardly. “I…I want to return Minho’s umbrella.”

“Minho is in the shower. Do you want to come in and wait a bit?” Kibum asked expectantly.

“Can you just pass it to him for me?” Taemin pleaded.

Sighing, Kibum nodded.

“Thank you,” Taemin sincerely said when Kibum took the umbrella from Taemin. He was about to turn around when Kibum grabbed his wrist, stopping him. Taemin could only look at him, puzzled.

“Taemin, will you still come tomorrow? To the theme park?”

Taemin blinked, surprised by Kibum’s words. Didn’t Kibum know he had broken up with Minho?

“Sorry, Kibum, but I—”

Kibum cut if off right away. “Please?” he asked earnestly. “We have reserved a ticket for you. It will be such a waste. And Jonghyun has been very excited to meet you again.”

Taemin sighed. “Kibum, sorry, I don’t think I can. You know—”

Taemin was cut off again by the sound inside of Minho’s house, it seemed Minho had finished showering. Kibum took it as a chance.

“For the umbrella,” he hinted the favor Taemin asked. “See you tomorrow,” was the last thing Taemin heard before Kibum slammed the door close.

Dumbfounded, Taemin could only stare at the closed door.

Minho couldn’t help but kept glancing at the backseat through his rear mirror. He had been so shocked since morning when he found out Taemin would tag along to the theme park. Partly, he felt happy to get a chance to spend times with Taemin, because he had missed the shorter male so damn much. But part of him felt guilty, because he knew Taemin was forced by Kibum, and Minho was sure Taemin hated this a lot. He knew Taemin felt uncomfortable because of him after all.

That’s why, as much as he wanted to be close to Taemin—he tried hard to hold back from hugging the small boy—he told himself over and over again to know his place, to give a space for Taemin to breathe, by keeping a distance. So, he decided to accompany Jinki to keep queuing the rides Jonghyun wanted, while Taemin tagged along with Kibum and Jonghyun to take the ride, so the three didn’t have to waste time to queue. Minho wasn’t in the mood to play anyway, and for him, it was worth it, because although only from a distance, he felt content seeing Taemin’s small smile after finishing the rides he loved.

It was amazing for Minho, how he felt empty for the past two weeks, but he could a little ounce of happiness only by seeing Taemin’s smile. Yes, he was indeed happy but hurt at the same time, because there was this wishful thinking he had, to be with Taemin again. But at least, he could feel something other than the hollowness and suffocating fear he had felt since he broke up with Taemin.

“I’m sorry you do this with me, Minho,” Jinki said apologetically as they walked to the next ride they should queue for.

“Nah, I should thank you and Kibum, Hyung,” Minho shook his head. “For taking Taemin. I hope this can cheer him up a bit.”

“How about you?” Jinki asked. “Do you, cheer up a bit?”

“Well I—”

Minho stopped his steps and words altogether, when his eyes caught the big banner on the side of the road. There would be a fireworks tonight at the open park near the lake, still in the theme park area. Minho stared at the photo on the banner as it brought nostalgic feelings to him. It was similar, the trees, the beautiful fireworks on the night sky.

His mind couldn’t help but travel to the night of his high school festival. He had sulkily dragged the broken sports equipment his sports teacher asked him to move to the warehouse at the school’s backyard, because well, he was the one who broke it anyway. He hurriedly stuffed them as he didn’t want to miss the fireworks, the highlight of the festival. He was about rushing back to the main field. It was at that time, he spotted the lonely, transferred student from his class, standing there with earphones on. He hummed with a small smile, and the smile got bigger when he saw the beautiful lights of fireworks on the sky. He still kept humming as he started to sway to the left and right, before he finally started dancing, the gorgeous smile was still on his face.

Minho was bewitched then. It was so beautiful, the dance, the scenery, the lights, the dancer.

That night was unforgettable for Minho, even after years passed, it was still vivid in Minho’s memory.

“Minho?”

Jinki’s voiced startled Minho, pulling him back to the present times.

“What’s wrong?” the older asked worriedly.

Minho shook his head, smiling to reassure Jinki. “Nothing, I just…” he trailed off as an idea came into his mind.

“Hyung, may I ask you a favor?”

Jinki stared at Minho curiously. The curiosity melted away as Minho explained to him. Jinki didn’t hesitate to agree, but the frown in Jinki’s face made Minho feel nervous a little.

“Why, Hyung?”

“No, I’m just…” Jinki paused, seeking for the right words. “I’m just wondering. Can I ask you something?”

Minho nodded, confused.

Taemin couldn’t believe he actually could enjoy the times on the theme park like this. The rides were so fun. Jonghyun was too cute, as well as Kibum with his squeal everytime they rode something high. The only thing he was disappointed of was the fact he hardly saw Minho, though he kept telling himself over and over again that he had no rights to see him, not after he cruelly broke up with Minho. His mind told him so, but his heart told him otherwise. He had set his mind to move on, but his heart kept missing the taller guy.

I really need to fix this.      

The sun had set when they finally finished their last ride. They looked around, trying to find Minho and Jinki, but he saw no one. Kibum decided to call Jinki. Taemin humored Jonghyun while Kibum talked at the much quieter place. The theme park was quite crowded. It was still new after all.

“Hyung said to come to the park near the lake. We’ll have dinner there,” Kibum informed Taemin after done calling Jinki.

“There?”

“You know, like a picnic,” Kibum said as he took Jonghyun in his arms. “There will be fireworks there, so we can watch it while having dinner.”

Taemin just nodded and quietly followed Kibum to the park. His thought was a mess, as the memory of Minho’s promise to take him picnic came to his mind. Could it be…Taemin shook his head. No, what do you think? There’s no way!

Another disappointment engulfed Taemin’s heart when he saw Jinki alone, sitting on a big mat under a tree, while Minho was nowhere to be seen. He was dying to know where Minho was, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. So, he just quietly sat on the mat. Luckily for him, Kibum spoke out the question he really wanted to ask.

“Where is Minho?”

“He left first, his boss called him, it seemed there’s an urgent matter at work. But he leaves the car for us,” Jinki explained as he was busy setting the food on the mat, two big boxes of pizza, take-away pastas, some garlic breads and sweet pastries, as well as cans of drinks.

Taemin sighed hearing Jinki’s answer. He helped Jinki setting the food with gloomy expression, while Kibum had chased Jonghyun who had started running around the beautiful park.

“Minho told me not to tell, but…” Jinki broke the silence, earning Taemin’s attention, “…I am his close friend, so it’s natural for me wanting him to be acknowledged for something he did.”

Taemin tilted his head in confusion, but there was a hint of expectancy in his voice, “What are you trying to say?”

Jinki chuckled seeing Taemin’s adorable reaction, “Minho prepared this for you.”

Taemin’s heart skipped a beat hearing this. He doesn’t forget his promise. Taemin looked down to hide his smile, but even if he tried, Jinki couldn’t help but see it, the small happiness radiated from Taemin.

As his mood went up a bit, Taemin hummed as he decided to just sit there and stared at the happy Kibum and Jonghyun running around. Jinki did the same, and Taemin noticed the lovingness in Jinki’s eyes that followed the two around.

“Hyung,” Taemin called.

“Hmm?”

“I’m just curious,” Taemin said. “What makes you can keep loving Kibum all these times? I mean…it’s just amazing, you two had been together since high school. It seemed like it never fades away, your love for each other.”

“Hmmm…” Jinki thought deeply, before he smiled tenderly, his eyes kept being glued to the Kibum and Jonghyun. “It’s the small things he does. His sincere care, his excitement, his cheerfulness, his honesty, even his nagging. All those small things he does and in him, everything. It’s small, but those small things slowly starts to be significant things in my life, to the point I feel at loss without it.”

Mouth agape, Taemin could only stare at Jinki in amazement. He didn’t know the older boy could be this sweet, but Jinki was a writer after all, his books were always popular, Taemin even found some at the bookstore in London.

Receiving Taemin’s stare, Jinki scratched his head in embarrassment, “Sorry, it’s cringy, isn’t it?”

Taemin quickly shook his head. “No, it’s beautiful, Hyung, really,” Taemin said sincerely.

Much to Taemin’s surprise, Jinki shot him a wide smile the moment he heard Taemin’s thought, “Right. I also thought it was beautiful when I heard it.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I more or less copied Minho’s words, the things he said when I asked him, why he loves you so much.”

“Honestly, I myself don’t really know, Hyung. When it started, how it started. Maybe, it’s because of the small things he did, the small things in him. The first time I saw it, it was beautiful, his dance. It was just a small thing, it didn’t make me instantly fall in love with him, but it was enough to crack a way to my heart. After that, his small smile, his shyness, his absurd remarks, everything, every small things, slowly crept in to my heart. Unknowingly, those small things filled up my heart. All of those are small, but they have become significant things in my life, to the point the life without him feels empty. And when I finally realized it, I have fallen in love with him. Deeper than any love I had felt before.”

“Taeminnie Hyung, are you crying?”

Taemin didn’t answer Jonghyun’s full-of-worries questions. He couldn’t say anything. His tears uncontrollably fell as Jinki’s words clenched his heart in every ways possible.

It was very embarrassing for Taemin, crying like that. That’s why he had kept his head down all the times, until they eventually arrived at the apartment. Taemin jumped a little when he felt a small hand on his leg, and relaxed when he realized it was only Jonghyun. Jonghyun raised his arms up, asking to be held, which Taemin instantly complied.

“Taeminnie Hyung, don’t be sad. It makes Jonghyunnie sad if Taeminnie Hyung sad,” Jonghyun said as he placed both of his small palms on Taemin’s cheeks.

Taemin chuckled by the adorable action, “Thank you, Jonghyunnie. Taeminnie will try to not be sad.”

“Don’t be sad!” Jonghyun threw his arms around Taemin’s neck. “Uncle Minho is also sad all the times. Why everyone so sad? Jonghyunnie sad too.”

“Don’t, Jonghyunnie,” Taemin pulled a little, to show Jonghyun the widest smile he could. “See, Taeminnie isn’t sad anymore.”

“Not anymore?”

“No.”

“Jonghyunnie so happy,” the little boy hugged Taemin again, which Taemin returned as tight as he could. He caught a warm smile from Kibum and Jinki.

“Now, time to say goodbye,” Kibum said as he took Jonghyun from Taemin. “We will leave tomorrow’s noon. Jonghyun will wake up late, for sure, so we might not be able to bid farewell before you go to work. You usually go at 7.30, right?”

Taemin frowned, “How can you—”

“How can I know?” Kibum cut Taemin off, chuckled. “It’s not hard to memorize it when Minho kept peeking around the time you went to work and come home.”

“What?”

“Is it creepy for you?”

“No, but—”

“It’s a relief if you don’t think it’s creepy. I honestly will think it’s creepy, normally. But right now, it’s just sad.”

Taemin blinked in confusion. It seemed there were a lot of confusing things he heard today, that made his head hurt a little.

“Taemin-ah, will you spare me time a bit?” Kibum asked as he handed Jonghyun to Jinki. “Say goodbye, Jonghyun,” he told, which obliged by the sleepy kid, followed by Jinki’s farewell. The older boy shot Kibum’s a knowing look, which Taemin caught as well, puzzling Taemin more.

“Taemin-ah,” Kibum started. “Why do you think Minho kept doing that? Watching you leave and come home?”

Taemin slowly shook his head. “Why?”

“To make sure, you don’t suddenly disappear, like eleven years ago.”

“What?”

Kibum sighed, “He kept watching you leave for work, afraid to see you left with all of your belongings. Only when you came back home he went to bed, because he was scared you’d never come home.”

“Why?” Taemin whispered as he lent his back on his door, feeling his legs went weak.

“Because, just like it hurt you, the break up eleven years ago scars Minho just as much, if not more."

Tears had threatened to fell again, but Taemin tried hard to hold it back. He waited Kibum to talk, to give more explanation, because it didn’t make sense for him. Because, he was the one who should be hurt by the break up, because he was the only one who was in love.

“He was crazy scared that you would leave anytime, the moment he made a mistake, and he was even more afraid after you broke up with him, that he would find your house suddenly empty, that you’re gone, without any warning, just like eleven years ago. He was, he is, on the edge everytime, keep wondering if this is the last time he will see you.”

“You’re lying,” Taemin’s voice cracked.

Kibum shook his head hard, “Taemin, I admit, I don’t know what you’ve gone through because of what happened eleven years ago. But, I was there the whole eleven years, witnessing Minho’s struggle, to the point I believed it would never heal, his wound. Until you came. Suddenly, his bright smile came back. Do you know, that he never dated anyone after you, because he was scared he would hurt someone like he hurt you? He closed his heart for years, till he met you again.”

“No, it’s not true,” Taemin was already crying again right now. “I loved him one-sidedly, eleven years ago, now too.”

Kibum grabbed both of Taemin’s arms, shaking him a little, forcing Taemin to look him in the eyes. “Taemin, he loves you. He loves you more than anyone. Just—just feel it. I know you can feel it. You’re just afraid right now, the fog clouds your judgment, scaring you to sail through it. But once you make it, once you cross it, once the fog fades away, you will see it, Taemin. The beautiful scenery behind it, full of Minho’s love for you.”

Staring blankly at nothing, Taemin hugged his knees to his chest and placed his chin on top of it while sitting on the couch. His mind still wandered to the tearful talks he had with Kibum hours ago. He couldn’t sleep, he didn’t feel sleepy at all. His head was hurting, because of so many unbelievable words he heard today. All of those pointed to one truth that was hard to be believed for him, that Minho really loved him.

“Don’t let the past cloud your judgment, Taemin.”

Kibum’s words kept spinning in his head.

“Just feel it, Taemin. Close your eyes and just feel it.”

Taemin closed his eyes.

And he saw Minho as soon as he closed it.

Minho’s warm smile.

Minho’s gentle touch.

Minho’s tender kiss.

Minho’s affectionate eyes everytime Taemin turned to look at him.

People said when you loved someone, you couldn’t take your eyes from the person you love.

And then Taemin remembered. He remembered how his eyes always met Minho’s, because before he had caught the sight of Minho, Minho had laid his eyes on him.

Taemin remembered, how Minho smiled brighter around him. How he laughed more than he used to eleven years ago, and Taemin was the reason behind it.

Taemin remembered, how Minho looked at him that day, when he was about to chase Song Yi, how he looked that day, when he saw Taemin was still there waiting for him, how he looked that day, when he waited Taemin to come home after Song Yi’s confession. And he could see it, Minho’s fear of losing Taemin, Minho’s relief of Taemin’s presence.

Taemin remembered, how Minho looked at him the night they made love. His eyes, Taemin finally could see it clearly, full of love. His touch, Taemin’s memories showed him, how it was warm and gentle. His kiss, and all of Minho’s kisses, Taemin finally realized it, how all of it was loving, how Minho desperately told Taemin he loved him through his kisses.

Taemin hugged himself tighter, sobbing uncontrollably.

A soft knock startled Minho who was ready to go to bed after making sure Taemin had come home as usual. It was quite late, and he didn’t expect anyone. Actually, he didn’t really meet anyone these days, except the trio who had just come back to Daegu this afternoon. He was just drown by the emptiness in his heart.

Minho couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Taemin right in front of his door. He shook his head lightly, before he pinched his own arms hard. He flinched by the sting. Dream wasn’t supposed to be hurt, right? But why was this dream so real? Minho wondered.

“In case you think you’re dreaming, I’m really here,” Taemin broke the silence, awkwardly rubbed his neck.

“Taemin? What are you doing here?”

“The water in my house is being problematic again. Can I use your bathroom?” Taemin shyly asked.

Still in dazed, Minho nodded. He let Taemin in and unknowingly followed the black-haired man who walked towards the bathroom. His steps instantly halted the moment Taemin suddenly stopped.

“I’m sorry, I lied.”

Every bit of what happened right now didn’t make sense for Minho, so he could only stand there when Taemin finally turned around to face him.

“I lied. My water doesn’t break again,” Taemin confessed.

“Why?” Minho finally managed to force out a word out of his mouth, although his mind was still blank.

“I just want to show you, that I am still here,” Taemin paused, searching in Minho’s blank eyes that slowly turned into a painful one. “Because, no matter I said I wasn’t going anywhere, you still don’t believe me, do you?”

Getting no answer, Taemin started to take steps towards Minho. Minho bit his lips hard. Taemin’s words were slowly breaking his defense wall, the one he built around his deepest fear, to hide it, without realizing that it made the fear safely saved in his heart as well.

“I’m sorry, Minho,” Taemin said when he finally stood right in front of Minho. “I’m sorry that I am too drown by my own pain, that I didn’t see how it scar you as well, the break up eleven years ago. I’m sorry.”

Minho’s tears fell, then. Taemin reached out to wipe it gently, before wrapping his arms around the broad shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Taemin continued apologizing, he cried as well. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t see your fear. I’m sorry, I keep taking your hand only to let go of it again. I’m sorry, I keep stabbing you and shooting you on your scar over and over again. I’m sorry, Minho.”

Taemin hugged Minho’s body tighter as it shook due to the hard sobs. Minho still didn’t move. He just stood there, crying. It was gone, his wall. He couldn’t pretend he was okay anymore. He couldn’t pretend that the fear wasn’t there anymore. He could clearly feel his ugly scar in his heart right now.

“Minho,” Taemin pulled back, taking Minho’s hand in his, while his other hand sprawled over Minho’s cheek, forcing the taller guy to look at his eyes. “Can you try to believe me? Just like I’m learning to believe that you love me right now, can you try to believe that I’m not going anywhere? That I won’t leave you alone again.”

Minho said between his sobs, “But you said, it’s like a crumpled paper. Your trust for me.”

“Yes,” Taemin said. “Yes. But…I had thrown it away. The crumpled one. I replace it, with a brand new one. It’s a little weird. But it’s okay. I will get used to it. It’s unfamiliar, but it’s beautiful, Minho. The scenery I paint on it.”

“Really?” Minho whispered.

“Hmm,” Taemin nodded. “Really. So, can you replace it too? The broken trust you have for me?”

Minho nodded. “Yes,” he said. “Yes,” he said it over and over again as he enveloped Taemin in a hug, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the warmth he had missed so much.

“Can I really stay beside you, Taemin?”

“Yes. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. We just need to be here, together.”

They stood there, hugging, crying, doing all the things they could do, to cherish each other’s presence. They were still learning to trust each other again, to fight for their love. It was scary, it was misty, but it was okay. They knew they would be okay, because at least, they had taken the first step to break the circle that trapped them in their past, to be able to love freely once again, together.

-Fin-

I can't believe I'm able to finish this TT

Longest chapter for the last one.

So, this is actually kind of open ending. A little. Because they still struggled to face their trauma. They could succeed and be together forever, they could fail and being heartbroken once again.

About Minho, I actually feel a little bad by the fact that he was just there, accepting. It was always Taemin that step back, step forward again, step back again. It's because Minho was full of guilt and fear, that he always thought he didn't have the right. In Minho's eyes, Taemin could suddenly disappear and leave him all alone again. In Minho's eyes, the slightest mistake from him will make Taemin leave. He was in a constant fear, he couldn't really do anything. It was another loophole in their relationship. The problem was, both Taemin and Minho just buried the wound, pretended to be okay, and never really faced it, so it would never heal.

Honestly, I was tempted to just end it the moment they got back together, because I thought it was too much and too dramatic for them to go through another break up again. But then, I willed myself to finish this just as it was planned. Because, thinking about it again, they needed it. They needed to pulled over, fixed the loopholes first, before started to sail again, because if they didn't, their ship would sink at the end.

I'm actually still learning to write like this, putting deeper thought on the characters' feelings, attempting character development (not much in here, but I hope I could try on next stories), and trying to keep the characters consistent. I may fail a little, but I am grateful for all of my readers that enjoy this story.

Thank you for my subbies, the comments, and all of the readers.

I will try to write new story as soon as I finish with my finals. Please anticipate it!

See you on next story!

XOXO