Taemin’s face welcomed Minho as soon as he opened his eyes. Minho blinked a few times, feeling confused, until his memories from yesterday’s night came slowly. He cursed in his mind, feeling bad for troubling Taemin in the middle of night like that. He shouldn’t have called Taemin. He should just sleep his fever away. Of course, he should have known Taemin wouldn’t have a heart to leave him. He must feel very guilty, Minho thought sadly.

After stretching his left-over fatigue from the fever away, Minho got up from his bed. He squatted beside Taemin who had fallen asleep with his head against the cupboard beside Minho’s bed and arms hugging his legs to his chest, the posture that was very uncomfortable, Minho was sure. Minho unwound Taemin’s arms as gentle as possible, because he didn’t want to wake the boy up. He placed his arms behind Taemin’s neck and under his knees, picked him up to softly lay him on the bed and tucked him under the blanket. Minho held his breath when he saw Taemin squirmed, but he sighed in relief when Taemin just tried to look for comfiest position before he stopped moving and slept peacefully.

Without thinking, Minho sat on the floor beside the bed. His hand moved to brush away Taemin’s fringe, followed by a gentle caress over Taemin’s head he unconsciously did. A soft smile painted Minho’s face as he watched Taemin’s innocent sleeping face. He didn’t realized how long he had sat there, observing Taemin. He even had forgotten his sickness and a bit soreness left in his body from last night.

Sound of opened door made Minho stop stirring the seaweed soup he made. He turned around to find Taemin walked towards him with a little blush presented on his cheeks, hair still messy and Minho just realized how Taemin’s pajamas was a size too big and hung loosely on his body. Minho couldn’t help but smile by the endearing sight.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Taemin protested. “You are the sick one and I was the one who slept on the bed like that.”

Minho went back to his soup to keep his smile that seemed couldn’t disappear. “My fever has gone, and you must be very tired, taking care of me all night. I really feel bad, you know.”

“I am the one who should feel bad. You got sick because of me, remember?” said Taemin who had stood right beside Minho, a little too close.

The kitchen was quite tight because Minho had added small dining table there, and the closeness between them made Minho’s heart jump a bit. He quickly took a step back.

“Fine, then we are even,” he said as he started to arrange the breakfast on the table. “Breakfast?” he shot a grin at Taemin, quite nervous of rejection especially when he saw the frown on Taemin’s face, but he hid it well. He clearly knew the faint line Taemin had drawn between them that made the latter to be hesitated every time Minho offered help or anything. Despite that, Minho was adamant to be helpful around Taemin, because for him, he owed Taemin so much.

So when Taemin finally sighed and muttered a ‘yes’, Minho happily urged Taemin to sit as he pushed a bowl full of warm rice in front of him.

“We should do this regularly,” the words came out as soon as it crossed Minho’s mind, and he scolded himself internally for blurting out like that.

Taemin looked up at him, surprised. “What?”

Gulping, Minho tried to sound casual, though his heart raced fast, with nervousness as well as a bit fear of rejection. “This. Eating together.”

Minho decided it came out weird, so he quickly added, “I usually made a lot, because you know, I used to cook for two, for me and my brother. Habit, can’t get rid of it easily. So, how about I invite you to eat if I cook like this? And maybe sometimes we can order a take out together. You know, sometimes there’s food too much to be eaten alone. Like pizza. One is too little for me but two is too much as well. And we could ordered other things too. And you know, actually, it’s very nice to have a company like this and,” Minho stopped abruptly, realizing how stupid he sounded.

But Taemin laughed. He laughed with his crinkling eyes and high cheekbones. It automatically sent warm feeling right into Minho’s heart, made him laugh as well.

“Sorry, I must sound very stupid.”

“No, no,” Taemin shook his head, trying to stop his laughter. “I just never see this side of you before. Very cute.”

Even when he couldn’t see his reflection, Minho was sure his face turned red. But he was glad Taemin didn’t say anything about it, instead he continued, “I really thought you didn’t change a bit, Min. You are still the same as how you are 10 year ago.”

“I change. Maybe not a lot, but there’s some things change in me, Tae,” Minho said seriously.

Taemin hummed, though it seemed like he didn’t really take Minho’s words seriously. But it didn’t matter for Minho, because Taemin had said, “I agree with you. We should eat together regularly like this.”

It was a tricky move, Minho knew. He completely knew he wasn’t supposed to fall like this, but he didn’t care.

“Are you dating someone?”

“I’m fine, Kibum, thank you. And how are you, too?” Minho answered, annoyed, because as soon as Kibum appeared on his front door, holding the sleeping Jonghyun—his son—in his arm, with Jinki—his husband—who was carrying their two suitcases behind him, Kibum shot Minho absurd question like that.

“Sorry Minho, you know how he is like,” Jinki smiled apologetically as Minho pushed Kibum aside to help Jinki brought their suitcases inside. Kibum huffed as he followed the two inside the house.

“Can you blame me?” Kibum complained as he trailed them to the guest room. “One year after we moved to Daegu and didn’t meet this guy at all, and suddenly, every time we video-called him, he smiled brighter, he talked with that cheerful tone and…and…his face…his face is…glowing!”

Minho rolled his eyes as he lent his back on the wall, watching Jinki set pillows and bolsters around the bed to create barrier as Kibum put sleeping Jonghyun between it, which was amazing for Minho because the said boy kept sleeping despite the never-ending Kibum’s rants, but well he was his son after all, adopted, but still his son, so he must have gotten used by this.

“So, who is it, Choi?” Kibum straightened his body, turned to Minho, with teasing expression on his face.

Minho shook his head, ignoring him as he made his way to the kitchen to take out some cold drinks for his old friends. Jinki ushered Kibum to go out of the bedroom too, so their son could get some peaceful sleep. The couple sat comfortably on the couch, as if they had known the house so well, while in fact it was the first time they visited Minho’s new place. They had moved to Daegu, Kibum’s hometown, for around a year, and they didn’t get a chance to visit their best friend until today. They had just come back from French after attending Song Yi’s engagement and the flight’s route was from and to Seoul, so they decided to drop by Minho’s place for the weekend.

Thirteen years and Minho still didn’t get used with Kibum’s fussiness. The three met each other through newspaper club in high school and they had been best friend since then. Kibum was Minho’s classmate, while Jinki was their sunbaenim. The couple knew Song Yi through Minho though at that time Song Yi went to different school, and they went along very well, especially when all of them attended the same university afterwards. For Kibum and Jinki, Minho was like their other child. Despite being happy cheerful guy he had shown to most of people, they knew Minho was such a softie, so they kind of keep worrying about him, especially after the heartbreak he went through on his teenage days. But these days, they saw it. They saw something changed within Minho. He looked much happier, and it wasn’t just a façade. That was also one of the reason Kibum suggested to visit him, because he was so curious, who had made Minho this happy in only a short time?

“You’re dating someone, right?” Kibum pushed again.

“No, I’m not! Why are you so interested in my love life anyway?” Minho sighed in annoyance as he threw his body on the couch opposite the couple.

“Because you…change! Your face looked like you eat rainbow and unicorn!”

“Eating unicorn is gross, Kibum! Don’t say that in front of Jonghyun or it will ruin his childhood!”

Jinki laughed by the antics of his friend and his spouse. They always fought, but at the same time, they cared each other a lot. It was like a love-hate relationship.

“But Minho,” Jinki finally butted in. “Kibum’s right. And we are glad seeing you happy like this. So, we are just curious, you know. Is living alone really that nice? I think your mood went up after you moved here.”

“Ha!” Kibum wriggled his fingers on Minho’s direction, his mischievous smile appeared. “Are you sleeping with your neighbor?”

Blush furiously made his way to Minho’s face. This made Kibum’s expression became more uncontrollable, as he felt he hit on the right spot.

“What? Yah, Choi Minho! Are you really sleeping with your neighbor?” Kibum shouted excitedly, earned him a pillow thrown right on his face.

“Yah! Will you keep it down?” Minho shouted back. What if Taemin heard Kibum’s loud voice? He wouldn’t, right? The distance was quite far, right? Minho didn’t want Taemin to feel awkward or anything by Kibum’s accusation. They had been very close lately, eating out or ordering take out together almost every night and having breakfast together every morning. Minho even sometimes had a chance to give Taemin a ride to work when Taemin’s car acted up again. In short, they had spent times with each other so much, and Minho didn’t want to ruin that.

Kibum threw the pillow back to Minho, but the latter had better reflexes so he successfully caught it. Kibum huffed, while Jinki went to comfort mode and caressed his hair lovingly. Minho tried not to be obvious but his mind went to the morning he had chance to watch Taemin sleep and caressed his soft hair.

Minho groaned internally.

He had totally lost his mind.

“I’m right, right?” Kibum persistently asked. “Woah! Now I am really curious. I want to meet this person who can finally steal your heart! Which neighbor? The one right in front of yours? Or is it the girl who lived three unit away from this one? Well, she looked really pretty, I admit.”

“No, I’m not sleeping with anyone and I’m not dating anyone! So don’t you dare...” Minho gave Kibum a warning look, which actually wasn’t working at all for Kibum, “…don’t you dare to say anything weird to my neighbor!”

“Yah, Choi Minho, where are you going?” Kibum protested as Minho got up and walked away.

“Shower! You two got prepared too and you need to wake Jonghyun up. We’re eating out for dinner because now I had lost my will to cook for you,” Minho sulkily said.

Kibum turned to Jinki as Minho disappeared behind the bathroom’s door.

“What do you think?”

“About what?”

“Minho’s neighbor! There must be something! Do you think it will be fine?”

Jinki smiled softly. His hand moved to caress Kibum’s eyebrow, to ease up the frown between it. Kibum might come out as fussy, he knew. But Jinki also knew his husband very well. He knew deep down Kibum was happy for Minho, but he was worried at the same time.

“He will be fine. Don’t you think it’s time for him to let go of the past?”

“I’m done! Who wants to shower next?” Minho announced as he stepped out of the bathroom, half- with only towel covering his lower half while drying his wet hair with the other towel. He didn’t really care because it was only Kibum, Jinki, and that 6 years old brat anyway. Jonghyun was so much like Kibum that he and Minho had sort of Tom-and-Jerry relationship. Childish, Minho knew, fighting around with a kid like that.

Minho’s hand stopped moving and his leg stopped his track. He froze.

It was supposed only the four of them.

It wasn’t supposed to be five….right?

But his widened eyes met with Taemin’s shy ones, blush crept into both of their cheeks, and without thinking Minho ran to his bedroom in a flash.

“Yah, Choi Minho! Who taught you to be rude like that? Running before greeting!” Minho could hear Kibum’s shout outside, followed by laughter that seemed to be Jinki’s and Jonghyun’s.

“And who taught you to open someone’s house door like that?” Minho shouted back.

“And what do you expect then? Me letting him stood outside your house all day?” another shout could be heard, but Minho decided to ignore it.

“, , ! Why is Taemin here?” Minho was rushing to get dressed, panicked. He didn’t know what Kibum would—had—said to Taemin. He hoped it wasn’t something stupid.

As soon as he was decent, Minho quickly went out of his room to join the rest who had sat rather comfortably on the couch, except Taemin. He seemed a little shy being surrounded by loud Kibum, goofy Jinki, and hey, was Jonghyun being sweet to Taemin right now, because the kid had himself clinging to Taemin’s arm. Minho quickly pushed Kibum to make room for him, so he could sat between Kibum and Taemin, to be a barrier between them. Luckily Kibum didn’t say anything, but he still shot a teasing look towards Minho as he decided to move to sit beside Jinki on the opposite side.

“I’m so so sorry, Taemin. Did Kibum say something weird?” Minho quickly asked Taemin, heart beating so fast from nervousness, but a soft laugh from Taemin made it calm down a little by a little.

“We are just catching up with each other.”

Despite that, Minho still eyed Kibum suspiciously.

“You hear him!”

“I’m sorry, Min, I didn’t know you had guests here,” Taemin said.

“No, no, no,” Minho shook his head. “What brings you here?”

“Oh,” Taemin shyly showed a restaurant pamphlet to Minho. “Getting this and it looks promising. So, I think of asking you to go there, but seeing you have other plans, it’s okay. We can try this next time.”

Minho’s face turned disappointed, because passing up a chance to go out with Taemin was like missing a penalty goal for him. Jinki noticed this, so he quickly stepped in.

“We’re going out for dinner anyway. How about you join us?”

“It’s okay. I don’t want to intrude,” Taemin politely refused.

“What do you mean intruding? It’s okay. We had a lot to catch up!” Kibum said. “And Jonghyun seemed to like you a lot, too. He might be more behaved with you around.”

Taemin looked to Jonghyun, then Kibum, then Jinki hesitantly, but the expectant look on Minho’s face made him finally nodded.

It was almost 12 p.m., but Minho’s house was still bright. The owner was sitting on dining table with Jinki, two cans of beer in front of them. Minho smiled softly as he swiped the photos on Jinki’s phone. Jinki was showing him the photos he took at Song Yi’s engagement party and their short holidays at Paris afterwards.

“Jonghyun grew so much in a year,” Minho commented.

Jinki chuckled. “You have this soft expression right now but you go into fighting mode everytime playing with him.”

Minho laughed. “He takes Kibum’s trait so much. You should be careful, Hyung.”

“What’s wrong with my trait?”

“Oh, here the devil.”

Kibum joined them at the table. Minho quickly took out another can of beer and gave it to Kibum, before went busy with Jinki’s phone again.

“How was the party? Was it running smoothly?” Minho asked, but his eyes still glued to the phone.

Kibum sighed. “Yes and no.”

Minho looked at him, frowning. “What happened?”

“Song Yi was upset. His father was there, and you’re not. You know how she hates him. I even believe she wishes you’d be the one who walk her down the aisle.”

Minho sighed. He felt bad for her. It must had been hard for her to have his father around, after what happened. But his father presence in her engagement was inevitable. His father was Min Jae’s, her boyfriend’s business partner. And whatever happened, he was still her father. Minho kind of regretted it now. He should had just gone to there, to comfort her. He was her best friend after all.

“Why didn’t you go anyway?” Jinki asked. “I know, you have been promoted at work and you have gotten busier. But even before that, you had decided not to go, right?”

It was silence for a while, but the couple waited patiently. Minho was someone who tried to keep it for himself every time, bearing his pain, his fear, and his heartbreak alone. He always thought deeply before doing anything, as he always tried not to hurt people around him, because he was always scared of losing someone precious to him, just like before.

“Well…” Minho started. “I actually predicted this. But, I just want her…I don’t know…rely more on Min Jae? She still doesn’t tell Min Jae about her problem with her father, right? She never told him anything, and ran to me every times something happened. It’s not like I don’t want to help her or anything, but I know it bothered Min Jae so much. So I decided to…take a step back for their relationship’s sake. We are just best friends after all, while he will be someone she spends the rest of her life with.”

“Or was I wrong?” Minho turned to Jinki. “I should have been there, right? As her best friend, I should be with her in her hard times, shouldn’t I?”

Jinki patted Minho’s shoulder in a shooting manner. “No, you made a great choice, Minho. You are right. They will soon be a married couple, and no one should know them better than their own spouse.”

“I agree,” Kibum said. “Song Yi should learn to detach herself from her best-friend bubbles.”

“And you too,” Kibum suddenly added, earning a confused look from Minho.

“What did I do again?”

“Taemin.”

Minho went silent, but then he said, “I don’t understand what you’re saying.” He avoided looking at Kibum and turned to Jinki, but the older pressed the same matter.

“I am very surprised finding out Taemin is your neighbor. But I am more than surprised noticing how extremely close both of you have become.”

They were such a couple, Minho cursed in his mind.

“We have become friends,” Minho reasoned.

“Try again, Choi,” Kibum snorted. “You looked like some teenager in love.”

“I’m not!” Minho denied strongly, before softly asked, “Did I?”

“Very.”

Minho groaned. “No! Is it too obvious?” he looked at the couple desperately, and groaned some more when they nodded simultaneously.

“Don’t worry. I don’t think Taemin realizes it, though,” Jinki tried to cheer him up.

“Yes,” Kibum agreed. “He is quite an oblivious one. You should confess, Choi, or he won’t know forever.”

Minho looked down and stared at the cans in his hand, as he softly said, “It’s better this way.”

Kibum looked at him in horror. “What do you mean? Are you planning to have an unrequited love forever?”

“Yes.”

“Why, though? It seemed mutual, no?” this time Jinki jumped in.

Minho chuckled, but it sounded so cold. And sad. “People just believe what they want to believe.”

“Why are you being like this, Choi?” Kibum asked, frustrated. “Is it because what happened ten years ago?”

Minho didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to. The couple had been there at that time. They saw Minho cried that day, they saw him cried some more days after.

“It has been ten years,” Kibum said.

“It has only been ten years,” Minho’s voice was just above the whisper.

“Minho,” Jinki called softly, placed his hand on Minho’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “Ten years are a long time. It can do so much.”

Minho turned to him. Jinki was a little taken aback seeing the younger’s eyes glistened, because Minho rarely showed his weak side to anyone. “The only thing those ten years did is erasing all of Taemin’s feeling for me, hyung. It didn’t erase his heartbreak that I caused.”

Kibum tried to convince him again, but he closed his mouth by Jinki’s stare.

Yes, the couple was there ten years ago when they dated, as well as after the breakup. The couple was also there beside Minho for the whole ten years passed. But they wasn’t there witnessing Taemin’s painful tears. They didn’t watch Taemin’s back left and never came back. They didn’t listen how even after ten years, Taemin was still hurt, and hence he wanted to have a boyfriend who didn’t have a childhood best friend. They also didn’t see the thin ice Minho and Taemin had been dancing around, ready to break anytime by the slightest mistake Minho did.

Minho got up. “We better sleep. You guys take early train tomorrow, right.”

“Good night,” was the last thing Minho said before he closed his bedroom door, leaving the couple in silence of worry and sadness.

The show shown on TV in mute went ignored by Minho who played with his phone non-stop but warily listened to every single sound outside.

Taemin hadn’t come home.

It was almost 11 p.m. but Taemin hadn’t come home.

Minho scolded himself. He should have just offered Taemin a ride like usual. The guy’s car had broken down again, but this time Minho didn’t offer him a ride. It had been a week after the visit of Kibum, Jinki and Jonghyun, and what Minho learned was he should be careful if he didn’t want to be found out. So he had been taking a few steps back from Taemin. The sudden increase of his workload due to his recent promotion quite helped. It became an excuse for Minho for going to work earlier and going home later. They met less and they hadn’t gone out eaten together for the whole week. And it killed Minho so much.

The rattle and sound of people talking made Minho immediately got up. He went to his door and peeked through his peep hole, sighed in relief seeing Taemin went home. But the relief immediately disappeared seeing Taemin wasn’t alone, instead he was with two other guy, and one of them was the guy he saw on the first day he moved. The guy who had confessed to Taemin.

Minho should have just leave. Taemin had come home, so he should just turn off his light and went to sleep. He had two friends with him. One of them clearly liked Taemin so much, and Taemin deserved to have a chance to get his happy-ending, even if it was with this guy, and even if it would leave Minho heartbroken.

He should have.

Minho didn’t know but when it was about Taemin, he seemed to develop habit to act first think later, so eventhough he knew he shouldn’t, he still opened his door only to be welcomed by a very drunk Taemin, each side being held by his two friends.

“Sorry, do we disturb you?” the new guy who was wearing a glasses asked.

“No,” Minho shook his head as he approached them. “What happened to Taemin?” he asked, his voice was dripped with so much concern and protectiveness.

“Oh, do you know him well?” the glasses guy asked. “We went out to celebrate that Taemin finally got rid his old car. We told him not to drink, but he seemed upset about something and kept drinking.”

“He has low tolerance of alcohol,” the other guy, whose name was Jongin if Minho didn’t misheard that day, told him.

“I know,” Minho didn’t care how he sounded very territorial right now.

“Oh, it’s Minho!” the drunken Taemin finally saw Minho. He shoved the hold from his two friends and made his way to Minho. He clutched both of Minho’s arms to steady himself, as he looked up to Minho, smiling widely with flushed cheeks. “It’s Minho!”

“Taemin,” Minho called him softly, despite the crazy thumping in his heart, seeing Taemin looked so beautiful and close like this.

But Taemin ignored him. Instead, he turned to his friends and cheerfully said, “Wonshik-ah, Jongin-nie, this is Minho! You know, the Minho I talked about! My very kind neighbor! My first love!”

“Taemin,” Minho tried. “You’re drunk. Let’s get you in.”

Once again, Taemin ignored him. This time, he went to Jongin who immediately held both of his arms to help him stand, and said, “He is the one I talked about! Isn’t he handsome?” Taemin giggled. “You are so handsome too, Jongin. I really, really want to like you back. How can I like you back? Should we kiss again? Just like that time you realized you like me? Maybe I can like you back if I—“

It was a habit that without thinking, Minho grabbed Taemin back to his embrace, hugged him tightly. Maybe because it was warm, Taemin’s words became more slurred and in only a short time, he had fallen asleep.

“Thank you for bringing him home,” Minho told the two. “I think it’s time for you to leave. I will take care of him.”

Jongin seemed reluctant to go. He was about to say something, but the guy called Wonshik pulled him to leave, after he bowed Minho goodbye. Minho stared back at Jongin who kept looking back at them with sour expression. When he couldn’t see both of them anymore, he pressed Taemin’s passcode and brought him in.

It wasn’t the first time Minho came into Taemin’s house, so it was easy for him to find his way to Taemin’s room even in the dark. He placed the shorter male on his made-up bed, taking off his shoes and socks, and then he pulled the blanket to cover him. He left to fill a glass of water for Taemin and went back to his room. He placed the water on the table beside the bed and was about to tidy Taemin’s blanket once more, but he stopped, a little shock, when he saw Taemin was staring at him.

“Minho?” Taemin’s voice sounded so small and uncertain.

“Yes, Taemin. It’s Minho,” Minho answered as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Minho’s eyes widened when Taemin sat up and his arms circled around his shoulder, embracing him. It took a while for him to realize that Taemin was crying, when he finally felt the wetness on his shoulder where Taemin buried his face. He immediately brought his hand to caress the boy’s head, as his other hands wrapped itself around Taemin’s waist.

“I hate you, Minho,” those words sent dagger right into Minho’s heart. “I hate you,” the drunken male repeated. “Why did you avoid me? I hate it when you avoid me. Please don’t avoid me, Minho. Please.”

Minho’s eyes watered when he heard Taemin begged. He felt so stupid avoiding Taemin for a whole week like this. If only Taemin knew how much Minho missed him.

 “Why do you appear like this? Why do you make me fall in love with you again?” Taemin said between his cries, but Minho he didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. He was scared if he opened his mouth, only painful sobs would came out.

“I don’t want to fall in love with you, Minho,” Taemin cried. “I am scared. I don’t want to fall in love with you again.”

Minho was crying hard then. His body shook uncontrollably. He could only hugged Taemin tighter, as the latter kept talking and talking.

“It hurts, Minho. It hurts so bad. Loving you is hurt. It hurts so much. Please make it stop, Min.”

I’m sorry, Tae. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

A lot of feelings are uncovered in this one.

Sorry for the long wait and ty chapter, I hope you still enjoy anyway.

XOXO