Do I like him?

Seulgi had responded to 1rhapsody4's question right after asking it to her with the infamous neutral, diplomatic answer that will be hard to twist and interpret into different meanings.

I don't know.

They moved on onto another topic after Seulgi responded in that way. Because of the gig wristband that Seulgi received from 1rhapsody4 that night, she then stirred their conversation into music and songs. Both of them were quite similar in terms of music taste. They lean into alt-pop and alt-rock, but Seulgi prefers a more calming genre like chillwave, and 1rhapsody4 prefers something upbeat like pop-punk or pop-rock. Seulgi added more songs into her playlist after exchanging songs recommendation from 1rhapsody4.

Did Seulgi just brush the question off from her thoughts? She tried and failed. This semester's 7th meeting has come, which means the mid-term exam will be started next week. Seulgi repressed the bothering question and focused on her study instead, but it kept looming into her conscious mind during the most random moment. Like when she was changing her bedsheet. Or when she was printing materials she needed for studying. Or when she was tying her shoelaces.

And that was when Seulgi realized.

She wouldn't even be baffled with this thought if the answer to 1rhapsody4's question in the first place was no. With an absolute. And crystal clear.

. I have a crush on 1rhapsody4.

But the next question was: why? Why was she attracted to someone she never even saw before? It transcended the conventional stage of having a romantic crush towards someone. Even in this modern-day, when dating apps had their own spotlight—at least you had a face to see first. And all Seulgi had was a faceless, nameless (alias name does not count) character that conversed with her every day. She couldn't even prove whether 1rhapsody4 was actually a boy at her age or not. Everybody can be anybody on the internet.

Was her love life too dry to the point that her feelings could be easily swayed?

And the other question was: what? What was something from 1rhapsody4 that Seulgi likes? Did she assume that all of the traits 1rhapsody had shown to her until now is real and not just another staged personality designed to attract people's sympathy? It wasn't like Seulgi didn't trust him at all—but in the era where people have more access to gain and made false information, being skeptical is a must.

But when she touched the things she collected from 1rhapsody4 that she put in a designated box, he felt so real. Yet so artificial. He felt so close. Yet so far.

Seulgi lay on her bed that night after closing her day by saying goodnight to 1rhapsody4. She put her earphones on and opened her music player app. She even made a playlist contains songs recommendation from 1rhapsody4.

Am I really going insane?

Seulgi clicked on the song Imagination by Foster The People. As the intro seeped through her ears, Seulgi looked at her ceiling and smiles. She was listening to the song he liked to listen too.

I see us dancing by ourselves

We do it better with no one around, yeah

Just you in my imagination, yeah

In my imagination...

~***~

Friday means physiotherapy, and Jongin found it strange that he expected this day to come instead of trying not to burst in anger on Thursday night.

He had been looking at the photos and videos that he gathered through his journey in dancing, and Jongin couldn't deny how he is dying to move his body freely again. He missed the feeling of blending his movement along with the rhythm from music. Swaying his limbs and his legs, splitting the air through his swift motion. 100dollar's words better worked on him. He wanted to prove 100dollar's words right, so at least he could hold on into something better.

That was what Jongin need. Not necessarily someone to fix his traumatized mental, but someone who will stick with him through his most challenging time by continually saying the right thing.

And Jongin preferred it to be presented as a cold, harsh truth rather than soft, sweetened proverbs.

Jongin looked at his reflection in the body-sized mirror in his room, figuring out any physical change besides his left leg. Since the accident, he hadn't scrutinized himself as he only looks at the mirror only when he put on his clothes and shave his moustache. The first thing that will catch his attention was the plaster cast wrapped below his knee to his ankle. And he hated to see it.

But now that he paid more attention, he noticed that his black, straight hair had grown longer until it covered the top of his ears. The dark circle below his eyes had turned darker as the result of his sleepless night. He also recognized how the skin from his arms had been drier. When he lifted his shirt up, the trace of his ribcage was showing more evidently from below his skin. That view had him startled. Had I been living in this state for too long?

He then weighed himself on the scale next to the refrigerator. 61 kilograms. That's why. Jongin usually weighs 67 to 68 kilograms during his typical days, and even his mom already complained that he is too thin for his 182 centimeters height. If his mom found out that he already dropped six kilograms in two months, Jongin knew she will start continually nagging at him to eat more.

Rather than filling his mind with complaints and rage, during his physiotherapy routine this Friday, Jongin forced himself harder to recall the early days of his life when he first became interested in dancing.

The first eight years of his life was spent abroad in San Francisco, where both of his parents met as the second generation Korean immigrant in the US. His dad had to attend an event outside the city they live in, and he asked Jongin and Jongin's mom to tag along with him. It was one of the weekends during summer, and Jongin was just about to start his elementary school year. One event that was obligatory to attend is watching traditional performances from various cultures around the world in a cultural preservation building, as the main event's opening. It included dancing. Jongin wasn't the calmest one during his childhood days. He always roams around as if his body is implanted with a relentless machine. But that day, Jongin successfully stayed still on his seat during the whole dance performance. Specifically, the East Asian region traditional dance where he finally spotted someone looked similar to him physically, after surrounded by people from different races almost every day. He couldn't even blink his eyes due to his fear of missing a second. His mom let a relieved sigh that day for not having to yell and pull her son's body every 5 seconds. And later, when they went home, Jongin told their parents: I want to dance.

With the wealth his parents have, it was easier than a flick of a hand to enroll Jongin into the best dancing course in their town. Even they moved back to Korea two years later and established a new life, Jongin still nagged at his parents to continue h