CHAPTER 13

          Sana was in the middle of trying to contain her emotions. Dahyun’s eyesmile kept pulling on her heartstrings, inching her closer to both her biggest fear and her biggest desire.

            It was as if time froze for her. Her mind was taking mental snapshots of the moment, threatening to make her smile back. How she wished she could, but she could never bring herself to.

            A while ago, she was never in her home like she said; she was on the way to an important business appointment.

            The moment her phone dinged, she checked to see who it was. She was under a red light at a busy intersection. The timer still indicated a whole minute. The moment she picked her phone up, her heart dropped. She didn’t have the girl’s number saved, but somehow, she knew. It was enough for her.

            She, like any other, did have her doubts. Her finger floated over the notification, ever so afraid to open the conversation. Sounds started to grow louder than normal, and her heartbeat echoed inside her head. Glancing over at the timer of the stoplight, panic ran over her system. There was barely half a minute left before it said go. Breathing in, she took everything she had to open the conversation.

            Her eyes scanned through Dahyun’s text messages, her concern for the girl growing as she went through each word. After reading the last text, her eyebrows were furrowed and her judgement was clouded by worry. She was already typing, but a car horn from behind her startled her. She had to put her phone on her lap, her status still shown as typing.

            In a rush, she hit the gas and crossed the intersection, roughly over-speeding but calming down immediately. The last thing she wanted was to get a ticket. “Can you help me?” the text message read over and over again in her mind. What’s wrong?, her mind responded. Looking around, she saw a lay-over. Just as she pulled over, she grabbed her phone again and continued writing her text message.

            What am I doing? She asked herself before sending the message. It was an uncontrollable impulse. She didn’t know what she was hoping to get from this, but what mattered was helping Dahyun. The latter needed her, and this time, maybe she can do something about it.

            The moment she got a text back with Dahyun’s location, she planned out her route. She could get there in less than 5 minutes if she floored it. Having said that, it was exactly what she did.

            While she was in the middle of her own episode of Tokyo Drift, her phone rang. Jihyo was calling.

            She tapped her earpiece and picked up the call.

            “Hi, your appointment was asking when you’ll arrive.”

            “About that…” Sana trailed off. “Could you cancel on them and reschedule? I’m really sorry.”

            “I’ll give them a call. What are you doing?” an imminent concern was heard over Jihyo’s stern voice. Sana doesn’t just cancel appointments over nothing.

            “Something more important.” Sana concluded vaguely before dropping the call.

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            “Could you take me back to our place?” Dahyun asked an awe-struck Sana. Snapping out of her zone-out, the latter nodded and gulped. “Y-Yeah, sure.”

            Sana stood up awkwardly, seeming to wait for the other girl to stand up and follow her. Dahyun did just that, walking a couple of feet behind Sana. For some reason, they couldn’t be level with each other. It was so easy to catch up and walk beside her, but something about that scared her.

            As Sana reached the car first, she automatically went to the passenger side and opened the door for Dahyun. She never looked at it as much, until the younger girl gave her a look. Sana looked away shyly. Did she do it out of courtesy? Maybe.

            Moving on from it, Dahyun stepped into the car and Sana responded with closing it. She was panicking. Being alone in such a tight space with the younger girl intimidated her. After all these years, she still had clammy hands and the ceaseless nerve. It used to be for the right reasons, but now, she isn’t so sure.

            Inside, Dahyun watched Sana as she crossed over in front of the car to the driver’s side. She opened the door for me, she thought. Maybe it wasn’t much, but it seemed like a big deal. Just a while ago the girl refused to talk to her, but now she was the one who took the time to help her, even when she wasn’t really expecting it.

            It didn’t take too long before Sana got in the car with her. “It’s the condominium that the Hirai Corporation owns a few kilometers back, right?” Sana asked as she strapped in her seatbelt. Hearing the locks click, Dahyun looked back and grabbed her seatbelt as well. She struggled with it, the metal clinking as she clumsily tried to lock it in. Sana glanced over, noticing that the girl was having difficulties with the mechanism. “Tilt it a bit more towards you and slowly slide it in.” Sana instructed.

            Dahyun was flustered, doing as she was told and successfully strapping herself in. “Thanks.” The younger girl squeaked out in a small, shy voice. Sana nodded and hummed, hitting the gas pedal and starting to drive across the streets.

            “You don’t have to keep doing that, you know.”

            “Doing what?” Dahyun said. The tension inside the small space of the vehicle was almost suffocating. It wasn’t in an overly negative way, but it was Sana. How could she not be nervous?

            “Saying thank you to me, I told you that before.” Sana mentioned the word before. Dahyun looked down at her fingers. They were fidgeting, yet somehow relief passed over her untamed heart. At the very least, Sana still acknowledges their past.

            “I learned to be grateful for even the smallest things over the years, so I can’t really help it.” Dahyun responded. It wasn’t supposed to be an implication, but it still struck a bolt of guilt into Sana’s heart. She grew so much. Underneath the melancholy, a growing seed of envy was throbbing.

            There wasn’t much chatter, so the tension grew heavier. Dahyun was barely holding on, but a crisis struck them when they hit a moderately long chain of traffic. “Ugh.” The older girl complained, looking over to the glowing blue light in the dashboard. The digital clock blinked at them. The sun was already sinking into slumber and a dark blue tint was painted over the sky above them. “It’s okay; I’m not in a rush. If anything, I’m still in the middle of composing myself to have that sit-down with Momo.” Dahyun didn’t fail to notice the stress that filmed over Sana.

            It made her look back to the times when she didn’t have to say anything, but Dahyun would immediately know how she felt. It was like they were connected, or the younger girl just knew her too well.

            “What do you plan on doing after?” Sana finally asked. She was so unsure of asking, scared of hurting Dahyun when she was in a vulnerable moment. “I don’t know, either.” The younger girl’s giggle echoed. It wasn’t composed of just happiness; a tinge of anxiety was still squeezed within it. “I haven’t thought about it, all I want is to talk to her about it. I don’t want to keep dragging it on.” Sana hummed. “Are you going back to Korea?” She dared to ask.

            “…I think so.”

            A shallow sadness crept over Sana’s heart. A small part of her wanted to tell her not to go, but she knew that would mean completely abandoning her own plans. It may sound tempting to finally try to settle down in happiness, but her issues were rooted way too deep.

            The conversation died down after that. Sana couldn’t really think of anything else to say. They spent most of the time in a somewhat peaceful yet still t